Did I do the right thing / What is my next move?

[Mr_Stinky]

So I have been seeing this girl for about 2 months now. By my standards she is a slut. She has been with over 20 dudes (at 22 y/o) so I would never date nor commit to this girl.

I do enjoy her company and she pays for almost everything. I met here where I work -- I am in the service industry and she lives in the building I work at.

Things had been going fine since the start. No complaints. She even cried one time (when we were high together) as said she knew she liked me "more than I liked her." She even went on vacation for a week and texted me the whole time she was away.

She is from the west coast of Canada and I am from the east side so we both knew that this wouldn't work beyond June as we are both leaving the current province we are in.

Here is where it gets tricky:

She knows that I have slept with other women and was sleeping with other women when we started banging. I have never locked her down and told her that I wasn’t looking to do so. She starting calling me things like “sweetey” and the like when I was around her and I didn’t mention it but found it somewhat strange from somebody who knew we had zero future together. Guess an over active hamster...

Anyways, she has a male friend come to visit from the west coast for a couple days and she went silent. No texts. Never see her at work. That is fine by me as I told her since we aren't seeing each other I cannot stand in the way of her sleeping with this (or other) dudes and frankly, after seeing him couldn’t care less. My first impression of him was that of a total blue-pill beta.

Well last night she gets back from seeing him off to the airport and immediately tells me how tired she is 2-3 times (as I had sent her a text an hour earlier about me having a “sleep over” at her place and she never responded) and how she wants to go right to bed. I ask a few friendly questions about her week and she immediately veers the conversation back to him and starts talking about how he snores, how much fun they had, how they were getting high, etc. and I cut her off right there and go silent. She asks me what’s wrong and I say “If you were so tried, why are you standing around my desk? Go to bed” in a very dry, emotionless manner.

She was obviously trying to get a rise out of me and incite some jealousy considering she knows I am sleeping with other girls. The ONLY reason she knows that is because I was honest when she asked. I have never volunteered that information as I think it is a d!ck move.

I have since deleted the number and she has been nexted.

I know my boys on SS always come through with the truth. Even if it hurts to hear. So have at me gents

 

[TheException]

I ask a few friendly questions about her week and she immediately veers the conversation back to him and starts talking about how he snores, how much fun they had, how they were getting high, etc. and I cut her off right there and go silent. She asks me what’s wrong and I say “If you were so tried, why are you standing around my desk? Go to bed” in a very dry, emotionless manner.

She was obviously trying to get a rise out of me and incite some jealousy considering she knows I am sleeping with other girls.

Too harsh of a reaction. You come off as if IT DID affect you and make you jealous. When a girl talks about another guy, you want to be unaffected....not angry or annoyed. Like it shouldnt even matter what she says about another guy...your reaction should be to look off in the distance as if in a trance, and just nod your head.

She has been with over 20 dudes

Dont know why you know this...should never ask about her past with other guys. And if she volunteered that information, the number is higher than 20.

I have since deleted the number and she has been nexted.

Again...too harsh. The penalty doesnt match the crime. She had a guy in town and didnt text you. No big deal. Then she tries to get a rise out of you(duh, classic female behavior in action). I dont really see the problem. I just would have just chilled and not given her any reaction(what she was looking for). If the numbers gone, its gone. I would have elected to not given a sh1t about the other dude and slammed her until end of June.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Too harsh of a reaction. You come off as if IT DID affect you and make you jealous. When a girl talks about another guy, you want to be unaffected....not angry or annoyed. Like it shouldnt even matter what she says about another guy...your reaction should be to look off in the distance as if in a trance, and just nod your head.

She has been with over 20 dudes

Dont know why you know this...should never ask about her past with other guys. And if she volunteered that information, the number is higher than 20.

I have since deleted the number and she has been nexted.

Again...too harsh. The penalty doesnt match the crime. She had a guy in town and didnt text you. No big deal. Then she tries to get a rise out of you(duh, classic female behavior in action). I dont really see the problem. I just would have just chilled and not given her any reaction(what she was looking for). If the numbers gone, its gone. I would have elected to not given a sh1t about the other dude and slammed her until end of June.

When a girl talks about another guy, you want to be unaffected....not angry or annoyed. Like it shouldnt even matter what she says about another guy...your reaction should be to look off in the distance as if in a trance, and just nod your head.

Honest to God -- that was my reaction for like 15 seconds and then I said what I said. Just a stoic gaze

Dont know why you know this...should never ask about her past with other guys. And if she volunteered that information, the number is higher than 20.

She volunteered it to me

I would have elected to not given a sh1t about the other dude and slammed her until end of June

I have a super, SUPER busy week as I have a ton on my plate. I may still slam if she wants but it is on the back, back burner right now. Disrespect is disrespect and I have very little patience for it. As evidenced by my deletion

 

[Mr_Stinky]

mr stinky sounds like you've already made your decision, which is pretty much the one we were going to give you.

This woman is a wh0re (in more ways than one - she's banged lots of guys and she's only 22, plus she's an attention wh0re) and she was just starting to ramp up the drama.

You already mentioned the two of you won't even be in the same province any more after June. I have a feeling this problem will fade away. Keep doing what you're doing, don't let the drama affect you, and proceed to banging other, more stable women.

I like your thinking

 

[visions]

it takes a strong mind to do what you did, but you made the right choice. desperate AFCS would've gone back to her, weakening their resolve and self-worth.

a man who knows/thinks he's the prize would walk away and not regret it. that's the behavior which reinforces self-esteem, and is a trait of a seasoned dj.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

it takes a strong mind to do what you did, but you made the right choice. desperate AFCS would've gone back to her, weakening their resolve and self-worth.

a man who knows/thinks he's the prize would walk away and not regret it. that's the behavior which reinforces self-esteem, and is a trait of a seasoned dj.

Thank you.

Pre-"Game" MrStinky would have crawled across broken glass to stay with her. I was such an AFC

 

[whatwg]

Should've said "Sounds like a great guy. ". That'd show you were indifferent.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

Should've said "Sounds like a great guy. ". That'd show you were indifferent.

I told her to sleep with him if she wants. I said that he was coming all this way and you shouldn't leave him empty handed.

I never brag/boast about my sexcapades and wouldn't try and rub it in ANY girls face.

She was trying to overtly do so to me -- so I nexted her

 

[BeDJ]

That's about 4 partners a year, I wouldn't consider that a whoring number.

How did you find out the number?

 

[Mr_Stinky]

That's about 4 partners a year, I wouldn't consider that a whoring number.

How did you find out the number?

She kept asking about how many women I had slept with. I never told her. She then blurted out her number. Whether her "actual" number is higher or lower is simply irrelevant to me.

 

[DragonBlood]

you held strong frame and DJ throughout. It sounds like you were getting sick of her at this stage.

 

[BeDJ]

Given her emotional state, it may have been an inflated number. She may have tried to 'one up' you and used the 'blue-pilled beta' as a jealousy trump.

She may not be relationship material, but I think you could have kept her around as a plate while you secure better options.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

...Well last night she gets back from seeing him off to the airport and immediately tells me how tired she is 2-3 times (as I had sent her a text an hour earlier about me having a “sleep over” at her place and she never responded) and how she wants to go right to bed. I ask a few friendly questions about her week and she immediately veers the conversation back to him and starts talking about how he snores, how much fun they had, how they were getting high, etc. and I cut her off right there and go silent. She asks me what’s wrong and I say “If you were so tried, why are you standing around my desk? Go to bed” in a very dry, emotionless manner.

She was obviously trying to get a rise out of me and incite some jealousy considering she knows I am sleeping with other girls.

Um... okay, perhaps I'm reading into this the wrong way. I don't know the girl or your guys' relationship so, like the others on here, I can only speculate...

But with that said, here's what I'm reading into it:

1. You text her an hour earlier asking her about a sleep over, and instead of responding back she comes right over to your place (or wherever you ended up meeting her, it's not really clear from your message). In my head, that means she was ready to see you - why else would she come over after dropping another guy off unless she was dying to hook up with you? (And, regardless, you shouldn't have sent her a message in the first place, you should have called. Her not messaging you back right away got you all butt hurt for nothing - this is why I keep saying TEXTING KILLS RELATIONSHIPS.)

2. She tells you how "tired" she is. You take it as an indication of... well, I don't really know. I take it as a hint that she wanted you to JOIN her in bed - why else would she say it two or three times unless she was hinting that she wanted you to come with her? Was it direct? No, but sometimes girls talk like that.

3. Rather than take her bed invite, YOU - not her - decide to ask her about her week, knowing full well she spent it with another guy. No bueno - you don't really care how or what she did with this guy, so there was no need to ask her about her week. You should have not even brought it up, and just said "you goin' to bed? Care for some company?" and got to work on her.

4. The way you responded to her - "Blah blah blah, go to bed" - makes you sound butt hurt AGAIN. You're trying to make it look like her actions didn't affect you, but it reads like it DID.

Bottom line: you over-reacted to the situation, plus you instigated her into telling you stuff you didn't want to hear about - and even then, she didn't say she slept with the guy or did anything that indicated such things. And, again, if it's just a hook-up buddy arrangement, YOU are the one that decided to make it like that, so you can't be all hurt when she doesn't do certain things like text back right away or spend time with another dude.

 

[Mr_Stinky]

you held strong frame and DJ throughout. It sounds like you were getting sick of her at this stage.

TBH -- I was. Kinda repetitive