Did I creep her out?

[londonguy89]

I've been pursuing this girl from work and the other day she agreed to a date. During the same conversation she invited me (and my friends) to a leaving do the next day. We all went out and there was a lot of competition for her attention. I stayed calm and controlled got some alone time with her by suggesting a game of pool. Banter and playfulness followed before the rest of the group joined us, she seemed to be warming.

There was another guy who was big competition for me. They seemed to have some history or attraction or both. She turned her hips and shoulders towards him a lot in the bar. We three ended up going to the train station together and the whole time on the platform her hips and shoulders faced him and his faced her, I wasn't happy. I kept my body facing away from her to avoid giving needy signals. We boarded the train but she sat next to me so I sat in a dominant stance taking up as much space as was reasonable. Pushed my legs out towards the other guy's and he move his back making himself smaller. Small victory but I took as a good sign. Me and her started talking and he started looking at his phone and leaning foward towards us looking pretty worried. Anyway, to my suprise he gets off and we are left alone. We have a short chat then I put my arm over the back of the seat behind her but kept my chest facing away and turning my head towards her and away again as I was talking. Then I start to touch her very lightly on the shoulder blade and very lighty brushed the back of her neck with the tips of my fingers for a couple of seconds.

Her reaction didn't seem open she went slightly red stayed facing away from me, smiled and had her fingers over her mouth.
"You've gone shy" me.
"Yeah well it's a bit arkward" her.
Short pause.
"aren't you going to take me home with you then?" I said in a playful way big smile on my face, I wasn't serious.
"What tonight?"
"Yeah"
"no, (smile) isn't this your stop"
"Yes, it is. I'll catch you later then bye" I get up and leave without looking back.

She kept the same position the whole time during my advance facing away from me leaning forward slightly and only turning her head towards me with her fingers touching her mouth and what seemed like a nervous smile. I didn't engage her with my chest or my hips only with my head and the touching I soon stopped when she didn't react well to it.
My plan was to avoid the friend zone by making an open statment of intent but I was shocked be her frigid reaction seeing as it was pretty low level contact and we have been building rapport lately. My plan is to contact her in a couple of days and arrange a date. To be honest this girl is not important I just want some advice on how to handle this better in the future.

 

[Krueg]

I'm a lil confused.. You asked her on a date an she said yes, but she also invited friends? Doesnt seem like a date.. More like the girl from work who just wants to be friends and go out with co-workers.

 

[londonguy89]

I'm a lil confused.. You asked her on a date an she said yes, but she also invited friends? Doesnt seem like a date.. More like the girl from work who just wants to be friends and go out with co-workers.

No the date was just agreed to, no time or place was set for that yet. But it was clear the date was going to be just us. The leaving do was just something she was spreading the word about and it was an open invitation which is why I went with a group.

 

[d!ckmojo]

Good job on the body language brah... and nice work on the read of the real situation between those two i.e. the girl the other guy you were competing with. I particularly like the AMOG domination you laid on him on the train with your dominant body language.

Anyway, it seems to me like she wants this other dude, its just you scared him off with your Alpha display. But then, you acted too meek and mild when trying to come on to her.

An alpha male doesn't worry about being "creepy". An alpha male would have just engaged in playful teasing banter with her the whole way, completely at ease in the moment, and then grabbed her whole head and kissed her dominantly before getting off the train at his stop without even saying goodbye to her.

Take your reality, dude.. Make your reality... Fcuk any one particular chick and what she thinks, live your life like the prow of a Battleship slicing through the ocean: powerful, unstoppable, decisive, indomitable.

Anyway don't worry, you made good progress on the body language front so keep it up.

And game other chicks.

Don't worry about it.

 

[Mike32ct]

I have no comments on this situation. I'll leave it to the others. However, I'll throw in one more body language tip for your toolbox since you seem to be interested in this stuff.

Focus more on the knees and feet than shoulders.

When a chick turns towards you (while seated) with her knees pointing right at you, it's a good sign. And if (both) her knees are apart while pointing at you, it's one of the strongest IOIs I've ever seen. It often means she is DTF.

If you see a girl doing that to another guy, they either have a sexual history together or are currently F-ing and/or she wants to F him.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Way too much time spent over-analyzing body language. Don't get me wrong its great that you have become aware of body language and all the non-verbal communication cues that women give off; BUT at the end of the day that shouldn't be what your focused on.

You should be focused on gaming her to create and elevate attraction.

If you focus simply on body language as one of your main indicators of interest your going to miss out on a lot of girls and or not try with girls who would be interested in you. A lot of women don't give firework like IOI's right off the bat, keep that in mind. Hell, some don't give ANY but end up being totally into you.

Couple of errors you made:

1) When you call a girl to set up a date, have a specific plan and date already set. This shows that you are taking charge, and it will weed thru her bs of whether she's actually interested or feeding you poop chips.

"hey (girl's name), I'm free Wed & Thurs this week, lets go grab a beer @XYZ bar @8pm. Which day works for you?


2) You shouldn't have gone to the group outing. Anytime you go to a group outing for a girl you haven't got physical with yet, you will be spending your time competing with other men who want her as well. Don't think for a second she didn't know this very well and probably loved every minute of the attention.

Instead if you would've been vague and said you have plans (and already set up a firm time & place for your date, then you would be seeing her 1 on 1 in a few days anyways). In the meantime her mind would be wandering trying to figure out what you were up to and who you were with on that night. A girl's mind when you play it right, is your best friend.


This situation doesn't look to promising at the moment. Its pretty clear she was uncomfortable with you in the train, most likely because your little arm around the chair touch move came out of the blue and you don't have enough attraction built up between the two of you.

My guess is she will either flake on the date or if she does go she will reject your physical advances at this point.

If I were you I'd ignore her for a week, work on other women, then come back to her, flirt with her and focus on making her comfortable. If he is receptive, then I'd ask her out.









PIMP

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with pimp-sicle.

Give it a rest, and then ask her on a date, let the discomfort wear off. Sometimes we are too aggressive to ensure we don't get airdropped into the Friend Zone. I am learning that sometimes you gotta take it slower, because the IOI's, body language, touching, is not always given back to you.

However, it is great that you made it clear you don't wanna be her girlfriend with a d!ck. I would of done the same right off the bat. See where it goes, and if you creeped her out, phuck it so be it. DO NOT apologize for anything you have done so far.

Keep cool and go forward. Let us know what the dilli-yo is in a week.

Good luck.

 

[londonguy89]

Cheers for the advice guys. It's good to know my game is improving at least. I will back down almost toatally I think. She's going away for a few weeks on monday so won't be around for a while. So I'll move on.