Did i completely shoot myself in the foot??? HELP

[Dominator86]

I dated this girl the whole summer last year, when summer was over, she got back with her boyfriend..i thought it was over n done with...This past spring she started calling me again, we have been hanging out the majority of this summer, we would talk frequently through out the day, hang out a couple times a week...im not sure what are label would of been, we def werent bf and gf... So anyway, i called her on a sunday, ask her to hangout with me thurs nite, she said, she wasnt sure what she was doing, she didnt want to commit..im like whatver... this is where it gets weird... the following day, she calls me and tells me she has a date weds nite.. IM like WTF. obviously knowing she made a committment there, but couldnt with me? i dont know if this was a game she was playing or not.. So, after her so called date weds nite, she called me, i asked how her date went, and if she hooked up with dude.. she said ya she did.. i said to her " It didnt work out last summer between us, it clearly isnt working out this summer, maybe ill see ya next summer" she repsonded with, are you serious... im like Yes, See ya.

during are convo she said she wasnt sure what we were and all that... regardless, i dont know why she would tell me that she went out on a date, hook up and all that... i dont care what she does, we werent exclusively dating, but still..makes no sense to me... there has been no contact from either one of us since that phone call last weds.. I am semi regretting saying what i said, i said it calm, i was freaking out or anything.. but i am confused as to why, she wouldnt committ to me to go out one nite, but did commit to some date she had just met.that frustrates me.. do i call her? theres a possibility i could run into her this weeekend around town at the bar, so do i just play it cool..

 

[Cassanova_Child]

to me, u did the right thing. she was playing with you. cut her off, and say....

"NEXT!"

 

[slaog]

Just the other day I was told by a girl that girls talk about other men to make the man jealous. Are you sure she didn't like you more then she said?

Do you play things very cool with her because she might like you and then got frustrated and dated somebody else.

If you were an AFC she wasn't interested in she probably would have said nothing so I think she told you to make you jealous.

 

[noirsake]

Reverse psychology. Use it.

Did you hook up?
Yeah we did.
Awesome, that's great I'm happy for you. I hope that things go better for him than it did for me.

 

[WC2]

There's a little saying that goes along the lines of ..

If you can't control it, stop worrying about it.

You can't control that this woman has already hooked up with this dude. Maybe there were some misteps on your part in the past, but that now is all out of your control. The deed is done. There's no use in getting upset.. all this does is make the situation awkward and negative.

What you can control is how you approach this woman/other women from now on. Playfully, without the whole jealousy complex. Not saying that you're a jealous guy, but sometimes in the heat of the moment we all feel a little insecure and show our anger.

The things you can't control are in the past. Look forward to your future.

Why would this girl tell you that she hooked up with him? Well for starters you asked, and also because she's probably an attention wh0re. She's TRYING to make you jealous. It was a sh!t test. She succeeded.

Now, go out and spin new plates without a care in the world.

 

[Dominator86]

yea i know shes into, maybe more than i thought....

i hookup with her, she says she only hooks up with one guy at at time, so thats why i am confused by her/? this girl just may be a plain idiot..maybe she never even went on a date, i dont know.....i mean , i pretty much gave her a ultimatum, saying i was done with her...i guess only time well tell, if she really is into me, shell make some sort of contact.... and ive been on n off with the girl for almost two years, at some point the corny jealously **** has to be done with... The only guy who would not get jealous if some girl he has been talking to for a long time was playing weird ass games, would be a guy with no pulse.

 

[Dominator86]

Slaog, i do play things totally cool with her, pretty much all the time...never told her i liked her as much as i do..she knows im into her, but also has it in her head that im out with other girls too.

 

[Stud No1]

IMO you did the wrong thing

Firstly, for you though it depends on how you actually feel about her? would you like to be exclusive? If so, you shouldn't have reacted.

Actually, you shouldn't react regardless, definitely not immediately.

Assuming you do want to be exclusive or whatever, i would have said "yeah, cool" and arrange a date of your own. Then you gotta game her a little - if you think she actually wants something more then maybe try eek it out of her. This is very possible. If you're confident this is the case then you've got plenty of power in finding out and you could even risk telling her you like her (without going OTT). Depends on your judgement.

If you think you're not there let, play some push and pull. Go hot and cold. Hava date of your own, or even fake one if you're desperate.

Never come across as remotely worried about the other bloke. You and only you matter, make her see that but not caring and having a strong personality of your own.


EDIT - i see you say you think she's well into you and you havent made your feelings clear. Well boss, be a man and take control. Tell her you like her, or better yet, SHOW her you like her. Be spontaneous. You could say something like "i think i might be interested in a girlfriend, would you like to apply?" with a smirk, or something to indicate you might, but only might be interested in going exclusive...but say you're not sure yet. She might then want to validate herself to you. Tease her with the fact you haven't decided yet over a few days, she'll want it more and more.

 

[Dominator86]

ok that makes sense... so if you were me, and wanted to talk to her or message her or whatever..what would you do..?

my brain is so fogged about this situation, usually i could care less about a broad, they come and go like busses.

 

[Sandow]

I dont think you have any chance of having a relationship with this girl. And i don't think thats what you want anyhow. Unfortunately, I really doubt she does, b/c if she liked you she wouldn't of flaked on you and told you that she hooked up.

So by lashing out like that, you just gave her all the power. You should've kept in your emotions. Any of us would have been pissed in your situation, but you gain control and power over the situation by showing no emotion. Plus it could have been a $hit test from her. Like that one poster said use reverse psychology, it would of drove her crazy, she's obviously looking for a reaction from you.

No worries though, this situation is way too much effort to stress over, go talk to some normal girls, you'll be happier.

 

[Dominator86]

True