Did I completely screw this up?

[mental blockstack]

If I could redo this situation, instead of saying I had different dinner plans than her, I would have put the "i'll stroll around the park tonight, you can come join me if you want" at that point instead of later.

One possibility here is that she was interested in doing something with me that night (maybe even cancelled on her friends because of me?), but when I said I had other plans, she suddenly "changed her mind" and now it's gonna be too difficult to get her out.

Might be worth noting that this is in Japan, where there's a culture of notorious indirect-subtle-implication-communication. I met this girl in a bar when she was with her friends, I was confident and engaged them all in conversation, was definitely triggering attraction in her. This girl is about a 9/10, and her other two friends are more around 8/10 and 7/10. I was talking with her alone for a few minutes, until I offered to share a drink with her, then she went back to her friends. This text conversation was a day afterwards.

Any tips for getting her out without chasing too hard? Anyone who knows 9/10 game and/or Japan?

 

[Trump]

Might be worth noting that this is in Japan, where there's a culture of notorious indirect-subtle-implication-communication. I met this girl in a bar when she was with her friends, I was confident and engaged them all in conversation, was definitely triggering attraction in her. This girl is about a 9/10, and her other two friends are more around 8/10 and 7/10. I was talking with her alone for a few minutes, until I offered to share a drink with her, then she went back to her friends. This text conversation was a day afterwards.

Any tips for getting her out without chasing too hard? Anyone who knows 9/10 game and/or Japan?

Wouldn't have asked for the date 2 hours before you want to go on a date with her. A few days before would have texted her: "I know a great coffee shop around the corner. Would you like to grab a coffee on Saturday at 4 pm?"

When she asks "what are you doing tonight?" It's a rhetorical question. She wanted to see if you were going out anywhere important and would invite her to come along. When you answered her directly and told her you weren't, she lost interest. And bro, what do you mean telling a girl "when are you free, we should go around yoyogi." That's very weak. You left the decision in HER hands and were too scared to pick a time and date.
Then when she changed her mind about dinner you emotionally reacted. "No, no don't go out with your coworker. I'm free this weekend, I'm free next weekend, I'm strolling around the park, just come join me."

Wait a bit and ask her on a date. You have to get a YES or NO answer from her. Anything else and she is sleeping with a 6'2 basketball player.

 

[mental blockstack]

Wouldn't have asked for the date 2 hours before you want to go on a date with her.

When she asks "what are you doing tonight?" It's a rhetorical question. She wanted to see if you were going out anywhere important and would invite her to come along. When you answered her directly and told her you weren't, she lost interest.

So if at that point I'd suggested just walking around the park, it might also not have been important enough to have gotten her out that night?

 

[Von]

Ask her out where you feel she'll be comfortable and close to your place

 

[mental blockstack]

Ask her out where you feel she'll be comfortable and close to your place

That would be yoyogi park.

 

[Von]

That would be yoyogi park.

Nice park been there. Have 1 activity to do (frisbee or kissing). If yo speak nihongo. Jap girls are dtf

 

[CMNILS87]

1. That text exchange was unbearable to read. You never ask a girl what she's up to unless she's your gf or your looking for a booty call.
2. Act busy, when she asks what you're up to, delay text and then make something up to sound busy. Do not say "chilling on the couch" or even go out and have fun. I agree that it's a total bait question and honestly you didn't need any of this text convo.

I think you screwed up big time, way too over eager sounding. Honestly this should have read the opposite way. You should've texted like the girl

 

[mental blockstack]

1. That text exchange was unbearable to read. You never ask a girl what she's up to unless she's your gf or your looking for a booty call.
2. Act busy, when she asks what you're up to, delay text and then make something up to sound busy. Do not say "chilling on the couch" or even go out and have fun. I agree that it's a total bait question and honestly you didn't need any of this text convo.

I think you screwed up big time, way too over eager sounding. Honestly this should have read the opposite way. You should've texted like the girl

So even if in replying to her "what are you doing tonight" I had said "come join me for a walk in the park" it wouldn't have been ideal, since I'd already asked what she was up to? She might not have even done it then anyway?

 

[EternityEnds]

I feel like you came across as to weak. Dominate the conversation more.

 

[slight]

You were too available imo. I'd stop texting her for a while, perhaps 2 weeks or even more. That's pretty much the only way it has worked for me with low-interest gals.

However, if you haven't made a strong first impression, disappearing won't do much, but that's the only option I see so far.

 

[RangerMIke]

She's just not that interested in you. Don't waste your time with this one.

The number one rule of a DJ is that if a woman is confusing you she isn't interested. Women who like you will make things easy and they will not confuse you.

 

[CMNILS87]

So even if in replying to her "what are you doing tonight" I had said "come join me for a walk in the park" it wouldn't have been ideal, since I'd already asked what she was up to? She might not have even done it then anyway?

I would've ignored it disengage and reapproach with date idea.

I feel like this should be a rule or thumb or maxim.
"If a woman you've engaged in a conversation texts you out of the blue and the conversation has no substance or value, she is seeking attention or trying to asses your value from afar. Both are bad in both cases"

 

[mental blockstack]

You were too available imo. I'd stop texting her for a while, perhaps 2 weeks or even more. That's pretty much the only way it has worked for me with low-interest gals.

However, if you haven't made a strong first impression, disappearing won't do much, but that's the only option I see so far.

I made a strong impression in person and got clear attraction signals.

 

[mental blockstack]

She's just not that interested in you. Don't waste your time with this one.

The number one rule of a DJ is that if a woman is confusing you she isn't interested. Women who like you will make things easy and they will not confuse you.

What if with a higher value girl comes a more difficult test, to weed out the guys who can't pass it?

 

[Von]

What if with a higher value girl comes a more difficult test, to weed out the guys who can't pass it?

Just pass them, with persistance. Know there Iimit aka respect/mix signal.

Keep always a good frame like the guys wrote

 

[CMNILS87]

What if with a higher value girl comes a more difficult test, to weed out the guys who can't pass it?

Nah. It's a girl you just met at the bar and had one drink for 20 mins. Hardly a date, you shouldn't have texted her asking what she was up to. It should have been something funny that lead into another date proposal. If she wa interested she would have asserted another backup date day/time. Learn from this. Be super overt with what you want and set a time/place.

 

[RangerMIke]

What if with a higher value girl comes a more difficult test, to weed out the guys who can't pass it?

The bigger the gap between where she thinks she is, and what she believes what you are, the harder it will be for you to close her.

The problem with the statement above is that this is taken from the perspective of the man... It really doesn't matter how high you think her value is, it's all about how she sees you. Her value is meaningless, if she thinks she is better than you, there is little you can do to change her mind, so while she might like you... the amount of energy that you will need to exert is not worth it, because if you can somehow manager to land her.... the pretzel you are going to have to twist yourself into to keep her will ruin you as a man.