Vilar's parents were German-Jewish emigrants. They separated when she was 3 years old.
She studied medicine at the
University of Buenos Aires, and in 1960 went to
West Germany on scholarship to continue her studies in psychology and sociology. She worked as a doctor in a Bavarian hospital for a year, and has also worked as a translator, saleswoman, assembly-line worker in a thermometer factory, shoe model, and secretary.
[2]
Esther married the German author
Klaus Wagn in 1961.
[3] The marriage ended in divorce after two years but they had a son, Martin, in 1964. Concerning the divorce she stated, "I didn't break up with the man, just with marriage as an institution.