https://mindful-masculinity.org/2025/04/13/did-daygame-really-kill-tom-torero-and-johnny-berba/
Recent discussion video between Pat and Paul Janka came up on my feed- this blog post is not meant to be actively “having a go” at them its just to discuss the topic surrounding the deaths between the two . I have utmost respect for both of them and wanna give my stance. I think people are quick to judge the life of pickup artists without actually discussing people’s lives prior to pickup . Both Johnny and Torero had mental health issues which they were honest about prior to getting into pickup and I believe this often forgotten about when people are analysing the reasons behind their suicide.
I think people are quick to judge the life of pickup artists without actually discussing people’s lives prior to pickup . Both Johnny and Torero had mental health issues which they were honest about prior to getting into pickup and I believe this often forgotten about when people are analysing the reasons behind their suicide.
Mental health problems leave men behind in the sexual market place requiring PUA in the first place
Both Johnny and Torero documented their mental health issues , with Torero suffering from anxiety and depression at university and Johnny suffering from an abusive household along with being severely bullied , Johnny often discussed his learning difficulties which makes his career as a postman turned life coach unsurprising..
The Neurodivergence issues which Johnny had made his life seemed a lot more ****ed up than Tom’s in hindsight , with him being honest about learning disorders and other mental health issues. In 2017 he seemingly was hospitalised for having a mental breakdown too and then still continued on coaching in 2018 and producing content . Tom had less issues , he was an oxbridge grad turned teacher so career and education wise he seemed to be more on the straight and narrow than Johnny.
I mean this is an obvious problem in my life too – as someone who suffered a lot of social isolation at high school I could definitely relate. When I was young I was a computer nerd who did little other than playing video games , this obviously made me less desirable to women and made me lose out competition wise against other more competent males . Men can fall behind in the sexual market place if they have bad habits and neurodivergence, addictions to porn/video games, depression and anxiety can all wreck havoc on a man’s smv . In Johnny’s case he’d been honest about these problems + porn and prostitution makes it a tough battle to move forward in the sexual market place . Compare these guys’ problems to coaches like Paul Janka who are Harvard graduates and handsome model looking – it’s difficult to make the case that these inferior guys have a decent chance of making it out of pickup without a load of appraoches and even then when they have women its difficult to keep them around due to these mental issues. In Tom’s case he was actively against LTR’s and spoke out against them on numerous occasions- he’d also been divorced prior to getting involved in pickup so this could be seen as a reason for him not wanting a life outside of pickup and “moving on ” to another stage in his life.
Didn’t have anything other than game ?
I disagree , “you’re not in alignment with who you are “ by Sasha – its just word salad, In a tom torero meet-up in 2018 I met a lot of accomplished guys who had decent work and life but for them they just weren’t approaching or meeting enough people in their day to day . Having a purpose definitely helps but the majority of men are single in the west I believe due to lack of volume and work ethic in daygame rather than lack of purpose or aspirations in my opinion . Tom Torero for example was oxbridge educated , traveled a lot and led a very interesting life far more interesting than mine I’d add and much more accomplished education wise. Berba was less so but still he seemed well read and was passionate about fitness , with his anxiety, learning difficulties and ocd it would’ve been hard for him to develop into anything much better than what he was.
Roosh V’s as an example I think he personally looked better and was healthier when he was doing pickup and I blame his mental collapse on the death of his sister rather than anything else. Indeed Roosh V’s impact was huge- his forum is still very popular today and I respect him for what he’s done during pickup more so than the religious quack he is now. I’d argue he’s less aligned with a purpose now leaving game than he was when doing game .
The Irony of Life coaches that cannot take control of their own lives
This is very common and something that I’ve blogged about before on numerous occasions – the fact that Johnny Berba was hospitalised in 2017 for mental health issues and still went about charging for life coaching is somewhat ironic. But you see it all the time in the self help industry as well as the pua industry- people who are obviously not ok charging for advice from other people about how to heal their anxiety when it seems that Johnny himself could not control his own. The hypocrisy of self help and men’s development –
Johnathan Neil Thomson from The natural lifestyles- had frequent mental breakdowns in parts of James Marshall’s biography then became a coach for him despite obviously being a bit of nutcase. Eventually he himself betrayed James and ended his friendship with him.
Tom Torero would tell everyone in his podcasts to “man up” then eventually killed himself after the Danya Hajjaji article pushed him over the edge and destroyed his income. Maybe if he had better control of his mental health and had he seeked some help he’d still be here today.
In Jonathan o’halloran’s (Johnny Berba’s real name) case the irony of a postman turned life coach who approaches women whilst having obvious cognitive issues and dyspraxia is also lost upon some of the newer members of the pua community. It was clear meeting Johnny in 2018 that all was not well due to his poor dress sense , scruffy look, spam approaching style and unkept beard that i believed even after a few minutes that this guy was not well. I found out 7 years later that he had been hospitalised the year prior for mental health issues so that comes to no surprise finding out about it now . Yet I still had wingmen that hired him for coaching and it was clear a lot of men saw him as relatable – maybe it was his anxiety problem, his past history with porn and prostitute addiction that many in the community have that made him a relatable figure- sometimes the sheer deficiencies of dating coaches make them a more attractive individual to hire for coaching than say a James Marshall , a Paul Janka or a James Tusk. This “vulnerability” and “honesty” is marketable to a degree for the pua community – but to what extent do these vulnerabilities and honest attitudes simply just laziness .
-Rest of the article is in the link its too long to post the rest in here
Recent discussion video between Pat and Paul Janka came up on my feed- this blog post is not meant to be actively “having a go” at them its just to discuss the topic surrounding the deaths between the two . I have utmost respect for both of them and wanna give my stance. I think people are quick to judge the life of pickup artists without actually discussing people’s lives prior to pickup . Both Johnny and Torero had mental health issues which they were honest about prior to getting into pickup and I believe this often forgotten about when people are analysing the reasons behind their suicide.
I think people are quick to judge the life of pickup artists without actually discussing people’s lives prior to pickup . Both Johnny and Torero had mental health issues which they were honest about prior to getting into pickup and I believe this often forgotten about when people are analysing the reasons behind their suicide.
Mental health problems leave men behind in the sexual market place requiring PUA in the first place
Both Johnny and Torero documented their mental health issues , with Torero suffering from anxiety and depression at university and Johnny suffering from an abusive household along with being severely bullied , Johnny often discussed his learning difficulties which makes his career as a postman turned life coach unsurprising..
The Neurodivergence issues which Johnny had made his life seemed a lot more ****ed up than Tom’s in hindsight , with him being honest about learning disorders and other mental health issues. In 2017 he seemingly was hospitalised for having a mental breakdown too and then still continued on coaching in 2018 and producing content . Tom had less issues , he was an oxbridge grad turned teacher so career and education wise he seemed to be more on the straight and narrow than Johnny.
I mean this is an obvious problem in my life too – as someone who suffered a lot of social isolation at high school I could definitely relate. When I was young I was a computer nerd who did little other than playing video games , this obviously made me less desirable to women and made me lose out competition wise against other more competent males . Men can fall behind in the sexual market place if they have bad habits and neurodivergence, addictions to porn/video games, depression and anxiety can all wreck havoc on a man’s smv . In Johnny’s case he’d been honest about these problems + porn and prostitution makes it a tough battle to move forward in the sexual market place . Compare these guys’ problems to coaches like Paul Janka who are Harvard graduates and handsome model looking – it’s difficult to make the case that these inferior guys have a decent chance of making it out of pickup without a load of appraoches and even then when they have women its difficult to keep them around due to these mental issues. In Tom’s case he was actively against LTR’s and spoke out against them on numerous occasions- he’d also been divorced prior to getting involved in pickup so this could be seen as a reason for him not wanting a life outside of pickup and “moving on ” to another stage in his life.
Didn’t have anything other than game ?
I disagree , “you’re not in alignment with who you are “ by Sasha – its just word salad, In a tom torero meet-up in 2018 I met a lot of accomplished guys who had decent work and life but for them they just weren’t approaching or meeting enough people in their day to day . Having a purpose definitely helps but the majority of men are single in the west I believe due to lack of volume and work ethic in daygame rather than lack of purpose or aspirations in my opinion . Tom Torero for example was oxbridge educated , traveled a lot and led a very interesting life far more interesting than mine I’d add and much more accomplished education wise. Berba was less so but still he seemed well read and was passionate about fitness , with his anxiety, learning difficulties and ocd it would’ve been hard for him to develop into anything much better than what he was.
Roosh V’s as an example I think he personally looked better and was healthier when he was doing pickup and I blame his mental collapse on the death of his sister rather than anything else. Indeed Roosh V’s impact was huge- his forum is still very popular today and I respect him for what he’s done during pickup more so than the religious quack he is now. I’d argue he’s less aligned with a purpose now leaving game than he was when doing game .
The Irony of Life coaches that cannot take control of their own lives
This is very common and something that I’ve blogged about before on numerous occasions – the fact that Johnny Berba was hospitalised in 2017 for mental health issues and still went about charging for life coaching is somewhat ironic. But you see it all the time in the self help industry as well as the pua industry- people who are obviously not ok charging for advice from other people about how to heal their anxiety when it seems that Johnny himself could not control his own. The hypocrisy of self help and men’s development –
Johnathan Neil Thomson from The natural lifestyles- had frequent mental breakdowns in parts of James Marshall’s biography then became a coach for him despite obviously being a bit of nutcase. Eventually he himself betrayed James and ended his friendship with him.
Tom Torero would tell everyone in his podcasts to “man up” then eventually killed himself after the Danya Hajjaji article pushed him over the edge and destroyed his income. Maybe if he had better control of his mental health and had he seeked some help he’d still be here today.
In Jonathan o’halloran’s (Johnny Berba’s real name) case the irony of a postman turned life coach who approaches women whilst having obvious cognitive issues and dyspraxia is also lost upon some of the newer members of the pua community. It was clear meeting Johnny in 2018 that all was not well due to his poor dress sense , scruffy look, spam approaching style and unkept beard that i believed even after a few minutes that this guy was not well. I found out 7 years later that he had been hospitalised the year prior for mental health issues so that comes to no surprise finding out about it now . Yet I still had wingmen that hired him for coaching and it was clear a lot of men saw him as relatable – maybe it was his anxiety problem, his past history with porn and prostitute addiction that many in the community have that made him a relatable figure- sometimes the sheer deficiencies of dating coaches make them a more attractive individual to hire for coaching than say a James Marshall , a Paul Janka or a James Tusk. This “vulnerability” and “honesty” is marketable to a degree for the pua community – but to what extent do these vulnerabilities and honest attitudes simply just laziness .
-Rest of the article is in the link its too long to post the rest in here
