Developing good habits for approaching.

[Phyzzle]

Can't help but give my compliments to AngelsPUA. Awesome, right to the point post.

We should really start a Mini-DJ Bible/FAQ like this so people can get the gist of Don Juan without reading 200+ pages of slightly contradictory miasma in the DJB . . .

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!
~Phyzzle

 

[Desdinova]

There is nothing wrong with either one it just boils down to person preference.

Agreed, and I could've got more into the whole REAL MAN discussion, but I didn't feel like wasting a perfectly good post.

I think what Luke needs more than anything right now is to quit studying seduction and get out into the field where he has to interact with people IRL.

 

[Rastaman]

Amen AngelusPUA, Nuff said. Most of those excuses of dating experts are just online seeking a living and they sometimes say things that are "practically impossible". I realize that developing a MANLY/BOND personality is really important... The theory (memory) guys make you look like a computer working from a server- when the info is not in the server or the server is down you start acting insecure and manifest your most AFC characters....
Let’s be realistic!

 

[AngelusPUA]

Can't help but give my compliments to AngelsPUA. Awesome, right to the point post.

We should really start a Mini-DJ Bible/FAQ like this so people can get the gist of Don Juan without reading 200+ pages of slightly contradictory miasma in the DJB . . .

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!
~Phyzzle

Thanks man and "Rastaman" to

Agreed, and I could've got more into the whole REAL MAN discussion, but I didn't feel like wasting a perfectly good post.

I think what Luke needs more than anything right now is to quit studying seduction and get out into the field where he has to interact with people IRL.

A real man is just a man, it depends what type of real man you want to be though, you can be the James Bond type or you can be the Tyler Durden type, both are men.

Agreed, that guy has to get out into the field but all this waving and winking stuff won’t work and it will just leave him feeling more confused and depressed. Think about it man in typical American shut off, isolated culture if he walks up to women waving and winking he will be perceived as some psycho and will be shunned. He is better off heading out to a nightclub or bar because they are accepted socializing grounds...

If he starts doing street approaches today he WILL get rejected and he WILL be back here asking us what he done wrong. If you don’t have the personality, skills and confidence to back it up than you have a better chance winning the lottery than getting a number from a cold, street approach. That’s the reality of it and why do I say this? Because I’m not in it for the money, I’m not trying to sell e-books or workshops I’m just giving advice.

Don't send a AFC to do a PUA's job....

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Agreed, that guy has to get out into the field but all this waving and winking stuff won’t work and it will just leave him feeling more confused and depressed. Think about it man in typical American shut off, isolated culture if he walks up to women waving and winking he will be perceived as some psycho and will be shunned. He is better off heading out to a nightclub or bar because they are accepted socializing grounds...

It may be helpful if you actually read my posts twice just in case you missed something. This is ABSURD. I never said walk up to a girl and wink, smile and wave. You go up to a girl, and you say "Hi.", or "Hi. Something about you really caught my eye....", or "What is the story behind that?", or any other thing that comes to mind.

If you DO NOT APPROACH a girl that is a distance away, say you are seated away from her, or it seems 'crazy' to go up to her to approach her, or you want to test the waters - then you wink, smile and wave, and believe me, even doing that to a HB7+ across the street is difficult for me to do, and I'm not even approaching.

There is no statement where I said approach a girl and wink, smile and wave, that's purely retarded.

If he starts doing street approaches today he WILL get rejected and he WILL be back here asking us what he done wrong. If you don’t have the personality, skills and confidence to back it up than you have a better chance winning the lottery than getting a number from a cold, street approach. That’s the reality of it and why do I say this? Because I’m not in it for the money, I’m not trying to sell e-books or workshops I’m just giving advice.

HTSWW is premised on a number's game, that means you will eventually, even with street approaches, seem to have some girls where there is more connectivity or chemistry than others. Actually, it does have a point, because once you become comfortable with flirting or just talking out, then you get to a point, where you can hide your 'true self' behind it, or even not mean everything or anything you are saying. To that extent, these habits are 'aids' of helping achieve that social fluidity that's tantamount to confidence, because you fail to take rejection personal.

The HTSWW book outlines a sort of 'rejection exercise' of saying 'hi' to six attractive women a day for 30 days, or 180 total 'hi' attempts for people that are super-terrified of approaching, or at the very least, you have these two habits of approaching someone and saying something, or waving from a distance, and either having them approach you, or you approach them once you've seen some reciprocity. Once one understands that rejection is not that big of a deal, or can just laugh of it, then one can be more confident in approaches because the 'worst-case scenerio' will no longer contribute to approach anxieties.

Anyway, again, the point is being fluid and comfortable with approaches. The only weakness of this method, as another poster correctly pointed out, was no contact closes were attempted in a 3 year period of time in either street or social approaches.

My problem, is when a girl responded flirtily, or really reciprocated, I took it as an ego-recovery for all the prior rejections or failures I experienced and just 'felt good', rather than actually contact closing the prospects due to the number close phobia. Obviously, in social contexts, or where I have a good report with any HB girl, I'm going to contact close just for the exercise, whether or not I have a g close.

 

[AngelusPUA]

You don't seem to understand what it takes to pull off a street approach, If you walk up to a woman on the street and say Hi she will most likely reject you or keep walking. The woman will almost instantly put up a shield, she is happy in her little isolated bubble with her little circle of friends she doesn’t want to speak to a nervous 30 year old virgin.

I’m not trying to be harsh but that’s the reality of your situation, you going out onto the street is the equivalent of sending an untrained soldier on a solo mission into a enemy base with the objective of killing as many enemy troops as he can.

You self admittedly are not trained for this mission and no reading some seduction book by some money hungry, self proclaimed dating guru is not training. Training is doing what I said, becoming a man that women find desirable, the goal is to raise your self esteem and if you hit the streets right now the only place your self esteem has got to go is bottom.

It’s a numbers game you say, well I say you can approach 50 HB7+ and you will get 10 numbers if you’re lucky. From those 10 numbers at least 9 will flak if not all and the 10th if there even is one left over you will fu*kup because you don’t know ****.

I don’t have an agenda, I’m not asking for money, I’m not seeking fame. I am just giving you advice and if you are a smart man you will take the advice of somebody 100x more experienced than you who has read all those bullsh*t books on seduction and has become more successful than all of those lying, money hungry, self absorbed seduction gurus. Those guys will tell you anything to sell you a book….

I’m going to say it one more time and if you don’t want to listen then have a nice life and I truly wish you all the best…..

To seduce women you must first work on yourself, become the guy that women want. Learn to appeal to their every desire, then and only then will you be successful.

 

[Desdinova]

You go up to a girl, and you say "Hi."

I beg to differ with the whole "Hi" opener. It leaves you standing there with nothing else to say. I NEVER start conversations with strangers using the word "Hi" or "Hello". That's a great way to greet friends, but terrible for starting a conversation. I prefer using an observation about the area or the person I choose to open. Like "Wow, that's a really cool hat" or "Did you see that accident on Main street the other day?" It's general chit-chat that can lead to a number close if the conversation is kept up for a few minutes.

HTSWW is premised on a number's game, that means you will eventually, even with street approaches, seem to have some girls where there is more connectivity or chemistry than others.

I would really like to see some testimonials from people who have been successful using this book. Do you know of any (besides yourself)? This site is full of people who have been successful using the DJ Bible, Mystery Method, David Deangelo, Style, The Lay Guide, and even Ross Jeffries. All the people you mention are quite foreign to most people here. Hell, even the book "The Rules" which was written for women has credibility here.

The HTSWW book outlines a sort of 'rejection exercise' of saying 'hi' to six attractive women a day for 30 days

The boot camp is much more effective for this. You do this to as many people as you can for one week. Someone not responding to your "Hi" isn't much of a rejection. Getting turned down during a number close is a real rejection. Getting blown off doing an approach is a real rejection.

Once one understands that rejection is not that big of a deal, or can just laugh of it, then one can be more confident in approaches because the 'worst-case scenerio' will no longer contribute to approach anxieties.

Yes, but you can't get real-life rejections from reading a book or sitting in front of your computer. The longer you sit on your ass, the less inclined you're going to be to actually do this stuff.

 

[radronOmega]

LOL. What you post was EXACTLY, word for word, what Ron Louis and David Copeland teach in the book "how to succeed with women". HAHAHAHHA.

-EXPOSED-

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I beg to differ with the whole "Hi" opener. It leaves you standing there with nothing else to say. I NEVER start conversations with strangers using the word "Hi" or "Hello".

It's only good if you are 'street practising' this on a girl walking in opposite directions you are, she will either say 'hi' back or continue walking. Going up to people and saying 'hi' seems retarded, but if you say 'hi' and smile, then an interested girl may make a counter-pass.

To be 100% honest, there was this one time I said hi to an HB7, and smiled at her and stood there, SAID NOTHING, and she said she sworn she has seen me from somewhere - she was making a counter-pass.

That's a great way to greet friends, but terrible for starting a conversation.

It sort of seems a bit retarded approach too unless it's a moving target you'll never see again. Imagine just going up to people randomly and saying 'hi' like some retard with a one syllable vocubulary. The seduction site has a much better strategy: you say 'Hi, (smile - pause), there is something I noticed about you ' and she is going to say 'what?', but that 'buys time' to think of something.

You also have to remember, these approaches have to be done right away, and if you cant think of something, then you have to approach anyway, that's the best default line I've read.

I prefer using an observation about the area or the person I choose to open. Like "Wow, that's a really cool hat" or "Did you see that accident on Main street the other day?" It's general chit-chat that can lead to a number close if the conversation is kept up for a few minutes.

3 minutes convo eh then attempt # close. However, in my case, it appears that I aught to practise #-closes and attempt to do so if I'm not outrightly rejected, as opposed to other positive indicators.

I would really like to see some testimonials from people who have been successful using this book. Do you know of any (besides yourself)? This site is full of people who have been successful using the DJ Bible, Mystery Method, David Deangelo, Style, The Lay Guide, and even Ross Jeffries. All the people you mention are quite foreign to most people here. Hell, even the book "The Rules" which was written for women has credibility here.

Testimonials for HTSWW can be found at amazon.com and Epsi on this site.
I'm not claiming that I"m successful with this book, because some of the stuff on it is STARTING to click now.

The book is good value for money when I bought it, it was only $ 20.00 and has been more helpful then say, $ 99 US products, so I dont feel like I got ripped off.

The boot camp is much more effective for this. You do this to as many people as you can for one week. Someone not responding to your "Hi" isn't much of a rejection. Getting turned down during a number close is a real rejection. Getting blown off doing an approach is a real rejection.

Yes and no. If you ask people on the street randomly for their numbers, then that's psycho behaviour. Making random appraoches are also somewhat psycho. If you just say 'hi', well, that *could* also be polite, it's more ambigious, and if you try a soft convo starter, then that's not really an approach. If you say 'hi, there is something i noticed about you?', there is a strong likelyhood you wont be blown off, you'll get a 'what did you notice?'

 

[Desdinova]

Man, my fvcking head hurts...

The book is good value for money when I bought it

The DJ Bible was worth every penny I paid for it (zero), and all the time I spent reading it. The next most valuable thing was the time I spent out in the field putting my new found knowledge to work. All the other seduction material I read was complimentary to it, and gave me a few new ideas.

All of this paved the way for me to do self-improvement. I worked on my confidence, self-esteem, posture, conversation skills, phobias, deprogramming, and a whole bunch of other things that made me "damaged goods". I refurbished myself (and I'm still not done), and it has made me an overall better, more attractive human being.

It's been a fantastic five years, and I'm nowhere close to the insecure, unconfident, needy person that I was back then. All it cost me was my internet connection time, and a little bit of money for books unrelated to seduction.

 

[AngelusPUA]

LOL. What you post was EXACTLY, word for word, what Ron Louis and David Copeland teach in the book "how to succeed with women". HAHAHAHHA.

-EXPOSED-

Who?

 

[AngelusPUA]

He is one of those guys....Thinks he knows more then people who have been through it let him fail......

Like I said at the start of this thread............ Lost cause

 

[Hawke]

No problem I'm here to help

Handsome and Sexy
Can't do much about being attractive, either you are or you're not.

Knowing how to dress
Shopping at chain stores is not your best bet, going for Versace is out of some people budgets but in every mall there is at least one store that has good cloths that are more expensive than those of chain stores. This is not always the best place to shop because in terms of getting into high class clubs these cloths won't cut it but if you’re on a budget and want to look good…….. What you think looks good on you often doesn’t it’s a good idea to take a female shopping with you as she can help you pick out cloths that suit you or ask the guy/girl that works in the store.

Wit
Wit is difficult to work on and it come with experience, if you talk to a witty person you will become slowly start to pick it up. It is also a good idea to watch some comedians Eddie Murphy for example. I read a book called "comedy writing secrets" that really helped me cultivate my wit. Wit is important a smart man uses wit to dominate you (AMOG) so it is beneficial for you to be witty. You can read books and listen to comedians but still I say the best way to become Witty is by experience, you need to get out there and socialize.

Confidence
This is a hard one and it takes a long time to become totally confident, my first step would be to take a self defense class. If you can find one do a UFC course because if you get into a street fight you’re not going to use fancy karate moves it’s going to be hard and fast. When you know how to defend yourself you will feel a lot more confident in social situations. You also should go to the gym and try to get in shape (If you aren’t already). Not only does exercise raise confidence because of the obvious physical benefits but working out gives you a sense of accomplishment which sitting in front of a computer doesn’t, this sense of accomplishment translates into confidence. Wearing good cloths, learning how to speak virtually everything you do to benefit yourself will increase your confidence. Obviously going out and talking to women will increase your confidence to.

Class
What can I say about class? It all got to do with your hobbies, what you wear, the people you associate yourself with, how you talk. Take a look at some of the classy guys throughout history real and fictional, James Bond, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra. Classy guys drink an $80 bottle of wine while normal guys drink a $10, classy guys wear classy cloths while normal wear t-shirts.

Charm
-Smile: If you don’t smile you’re not charming
-Let people talk: You listen and let people tell you about themselves, biggest mistake guys make on a date is to talk about themselves too much. Let the girl talk about everything and anything all you have to do is listen and obviously carry the conversation along.
-Compliment do not flatter: The difference between a compliment a flattery is that compliments have no hidden agenda, It’s just a genuine compliment and it doesn’t make the person feel uncomfortable. There are limits you don’t compliment a lot keep it in check and don’t make the first thing you say a compliment.
-Selflessness: The secret to charm is to be selfless. You should not ask for anything in return, not even feedback.
-Eye contact: Straight forward
-Confidence: I know these so called Guru’s say use ****iness but I say use confidence it’s different to ****iness. ****iness means you have something to prove, confidence means you have nothing to prove because you already know everything you need to know.
-Genuine interest: You need to have a real interest in getting to know people, don’t ask questions not wanting to hear the answers you need to have a curiosity about the person.

Danger
Women like a man with an edge of danger, go sky diving, base jump, rock climb, bungee jump do something that makes you unique.

Mystery
-Don’t give her your daily itinerary: Basically don’t tell her what you are going to do all day tomorrow, your life is yours you don’t need to tell her everything.
-Be vauge: There are times when you can be vauge about yourself, for instance when a girls asks me what I do for work I tell her “that’s my business”. I don’t do it in a rude way I just say it normally sometimes they will drop it sometimes they will try and guess but don’t give in.
-Don’t always answer her calls: You should lead a busy life so in reality you shouldn’t have time to answer her calls anyway. If she asks tell her “I was busy” and don’t elaborate, she doesn’t need to know everything you do.

Thanks for that, it was very helpful.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

He is one of those guys....Thinks he knows more then people who have been through it let him fail......

Like I said at the start of this thread............ Lost cause

I ain't saying I'm knowing more than other people, and just because I'm not replying to something doesn't mean I'm not reading it.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Man, my fvcking head hurts...


The DJ Bible was worth every penny I paid for it (zero), and all the time I spent reading it. The next most valuable thing was the time I spent out in the field putting my new found knowledge to work. All the other seduction material I read was complimentary to it, and gave me a few new ideas.

All of this paved the way for me to do self-improvement. I worked on my confidence, self-esteem, posture, conversation skills, phobias, deprogramming, and a whole bunch of other things that made me "damaged goods". I refurbished myself (and I'm still not done), and it has made me an overall better, more attractive human being.

It's been a fantastic five years, and I'm nowhere close to the insecure, unconfident, needy person that I was back then. All it cost me was my internet connection time, and a little bit of money for books unrelated to seduction.

Ok, I'm working on number-close phobia - I'm one track minded, and can only work on one major issue at a time. Once I've fixed that phobia up, then I'll consider other things said on this thread.

I think you suggested to work on this, that sounds like a good suggestion. Hopefully, I'll close a few numbers within a week's time, or at least ask for contact info. FR specifically on that will be posted here.

 

[I hate Hyori Lee]

To seduce women you must first work on yourself, become the guy that women want. Learn to appeal to their every desire, then and only then will you be successful.

That's really pointless advice. "Just be the guy women wants" Holy crap! Why didn't I think of that before? It's all so simple.

The reality is there's only a handful of guys who can 'become' the man women wants. But in most cases you either have it or you don't. You can't become what you're fundamentally not.

If you look at what women want, what do you get mostly? Tall dark handsome guy with chiseled look and perfect features. That's what women 'want' basically. And if you don't have it, there's nothing you can do. So "become the guy that women want" is really pointless.

What I'm trying to say is: instead of trying to be something you'll never be, works with what YOU have. If you look at the majority of hot women, what type of men you see them with most of the times? The type just described above. BUT,once in a while you see them with a guy who's pretty average in the look department but who no doubt have some other quality to somewhat compensate, musical ability,awesome personality what have you.
. Now, which guy should you try to be, (assuming you're not one of those guys naturally blessed with look good enough to be in a shaving commercial for men)? C'mon, it's easy!

Learn to fake it if you can't be it.