R
Rubato
Guest
Does anybody have any advice on how to do this? I'm talking about style in terms of the clothes you wear and how you present yourself. I've been having a hard time coming up with look I feel congruent with. I can post some pictures of the different things I've tried out if that would help. Thanks.
EDIT:
Here is a link of some pictures.
http://s1110.photobucket.com/albums/h441/RubatoSS/
I'm going to admit off the bat, I feel a bit self conscious sharing pictures of myself with a bunch of guys. This is all I have available to me conveniently to post. I can start posting an image of my outfit from day to day if it would be helpful. I don't take many pictures of myself.
Last semester was the first time in my life I stated taking this stuff seriously and the first time I started to think about how I dressed. I would characterize my former "natural" style as that of a bro. Sweatpants or baggy jeans, a solid colored T-shirt (usually dark), white Reboks, and a zip up hoody (in the winter). If I was really feeling it, I might put on a polo.
I started reading on here and several other places that in essence, it's going to be hard for girls to accept you as a sexual entity if you can't present that image to them comfortably. Dress sexual -> be viewed as sexual. My style had started to change last semester because the semester before I got more serious about ballroom dancing and started competing with my school. You have to dress nicer to do that sort of thing, so I had to go out and buy some button up shirts from Express. I started going out with the team to Salsa clubs, balls, and other dancing events and the expected dress was always something along the lines of a slim fitted dress shirt, either dark slim fit jeans or slacks, nice shoes, and some sort of hair style thing. That helped start to bring me out of my "bro" look.
When last semester started, I paid very careful attention to what my peers were wearing and I realized I had been doing absolutely nothing to differentiate myself. Everyone dressed like a bro and I couldn't hope to stand out positively by continuing to dress the same way everyone else was. I started to apply the style from my ballroom dancing adventures to my every day college life. I would typically wear a slim fit dress shirt, slim fit dark jeans (sometimes slacks though), dress shoes, and on occasion even a blazer. A few times I'd wear a tie. I'd also tend to do something with my hair. I would switch things up too though, I have a silver necklace I'd put on occasionally and a fake earring. Sometimes I'd incorporate a nice sweater in to the mix.
Another point of importance is that I also lost a lot of weight last year... somewhere around 50lbs. I noticed that the reaction I got from women at the beginning of last year when I was bigger (fatter, not more muscular) was different in a nuanced but still important way from the reaction I got when I radically changed my style towards the halfway point of last semester. When I was a chubby guy, I used to long to be skinny. But now I am a skinny guy. And I realize that's not necessary something to aspire for. When I was bigger and dressed well, I looked "handsome". Now I look like a "pretty boy" or a "prep". Those aren't labels I'd like to aspire for. If I had a fashion icon I would say I was attempting to emulate, it would probably be Pierce Bronsnan, Richard Gere in American Gigolo, Brad Pitt, or Niel Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother. None of them, except for Maybe Neil Patrick Harris, could be characterized as pretty boys. When I hear the phrase pretty boy, the first thing I think of is a "nice guy".
I wasn't insecure about the way I was dressing at all last semester, but every since I started to hear the word pretty boy it's started to make me feel self conscious. I've also thought that the issue may be that I just need to gain some good lean muscle mass and that will eliminate the skinny pretty boy vibe (which, I have been doing. I've been following the advice the dudes gave me in the Health and Fitness section and I can feel my shirts getting tighter).
This is all more than enough typing Let me know what you think.
EDIT:
Here is a link of some pictures.
http://s1110.photobucket.com/albums/h441/RubatoSS/
I'm going to admit off the bat, I feel a bit self conscious sharing pictures of myself with a bunch of guys. This is all I have available to me conveniently to post. I can start posting an image of my outfit from day to day if it would be helpful. I don't take many pictures of myself.
Last semester was the first time in my life I stated taking this stuff seriously and the first time I started to think about how I dressed. I would characterize my former "natural" style as that of a bro. Sweatpants or baggy jeans, a solid colored T-shirt (usually dark), white Reboks, and a zip up hoody (in the winter). If I was really feeling it, I might put on a polo.
I started reading on here and several other places that in essence, it's going to be hard for girls to accept you as a sexual entity if you can't present that image to them comfortably. Dress sexual -> be viewed as sexual. My style had started to change last semester because the semester before I got more serious about ballroom dancing and started competing with my school. You have to dress nicer to do that sort of thing, so I had to go out and buy some button up shirts from Express. I started going out with the team to Salsa clubs, balls, and other dancing events and the expected dress was always something along the lines of a slim fitted dress shirt, either dark slim fit jeans or slacks, nice shoes, and some sort of hair style thing. That helped start to bring me out of my "bro" look.
When last semester started, I paid very careful attention to what my peers were wearing and I realized I had been doing absolutely nothing to differentiate myself. Everyone dressed like a bro and I couldn't hope to stand out positively by continuing to dress the same way everyone else was. I started to apply the style from my ballroom dancing adventures to my every day college life. I would typically wear a slim fit dress shirt, slim fit dark jeans (sometimes slacks though), dress shoes, and on occasion even a blazer. A few times I'd wear a tie. I'd also tend to do something with my hair. I would switch things up too though, I have a silver necklace I'd put on occasionally and a fake earring. Sometimes I'd incorporate a nice sweater in to the mix.
Another point of importance is that I also lost a lot of weight last year... somewhere around 50lbs. I noticed that the reaction I got from women at the beginning of last year when I was bigger (fatter, not more muscular) was different in a nuanced but still important way from the reaction I got when I radically changed my style towards the halfway point of last semester. When I was a chubby guy, I used to long to be skinny. But now I am a skinny guy. And I realize that's not necessary something to aspire for. When I was bigger and dressed well, I looked "handsome". Now I look like a "pretty boy" or a "prep". Those aren't labels I'd like to aspire for. If I had a fashion icon I would say I was attempting to emulate, it would probably be Pierce Bronsnan, Richard Gere in American Gigolo, Brad Pitt, or Niel Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother. None of them, except for Maybe Neil Patrick Harris, could be characterized as pretty boys. When I hear the phrase pretty boy, the first thing I think of is a "nice guy".
I wasn't insecure about the way I was dressing at all last semester, but every since I started to hear the word pretty boy it's started to make me feel self conscious. I've also thought that the issue may be that I just need to gain some good lean muscle mass and that will eliminate the skinny pretty boy vibe (which, I have been doing. I've been following the advice the dudes gave me in the Health and Fitness section and I can feel my shirts getting tighter).
This is all more than enough typing Let me know what you think.
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