Despise the Free Lunch (Law #40)

[bigneil]

"What is offered free is dangerous - and usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt and deciet. It is also often wise to pay the full price - there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power." Page 333 Laws of Power (Robert Greene).

"A successful seducer is generous" (Louis/Copeland).

"You get what you pay for".

One should avoid going against such basic, common wisdom, but so few on this forum seem to follow this law. But go ahead and attack this law of power.

 

[SoldMySoul]

"A successful seducer is generous" (Louis/Copeland).

Well now.... Here is a better way to break this down. Louis/ Copeland may have a point if you think of the big picture.

But Soldmysoul has a better way of looking at it: A successful seducer is generous, but in the short term, a successful seducer is a fool!!!

Do not be overly generous UNTIL you know for certain what you got. I WILL NOT blow my hard earned money on someone UNTIL they deserve it. Lessons learned from afcdom. However, If the woman deserves it and after proving herself as deserving, then I will up the ante.

Each to his own... Remember too: The hardest to get are not always the best either. Like me for me, and you will be rewarded with my best.

 

[ArcBound]

What exactly are you arguing or pointing out here?

 

[Deep Dish]

A successful seducer is generous, but in the short term, a successful seducer is a fool!!!

Do not be overly generous UNTIL you know for certain what you got. I WILL NOT blow my hard earned money on someone UNTIL they deserve it... Remember too: The hardest to get are not always the best either.

Robert Greene explains “Tight purse strings are unattractive—when engaged in seduction, Casanova would give completely not only of himself but of his wallet”, but he also explains against,

The Indiscriminate Giver. Generosity has a definite function in power: It attracts people, softens them up, makes allies out of them. But it has to be used strategically, with a definite end in mind. Indiscriminate Givers, on the other hand, are generous because they want to be loved and admired by all. And their generosity is so indiscriminate and needy that it may not have the desired effect: If they give to one and all, why should the recipient feel special? Attractive as it may seem to make an indiscriminate giver your mark, in any involvement with this type you will often feel burdened by their emotional needs.​

He also explains,

To succeed best, the gift should come out of the blue. It should be remarkable for the fact a gift like it has never been given before, or for being preceded by a cold shoulder from the giver. The more often you give to particular people, the blunter this weapon becomes. If they don’t take your gifts for granted, becoming monsters of ingratitude, they will resent what appears to be charity. The sudden, unexpected, one-time gift will not spoil your children; it will keep them under your thumb.​

Roissy famously advises to “Be a Skittles Man” towards flings, but crafting special Xmas gifts for long-term girlfriends. “A puppy if you are a greater beta. A hot ****tail dress with accompanying lingerie if you are an alpha. A homemade mix tape if you are a super alpha. Play her a song you wrote on your guitar if you are an emo alpha. Airline tix to Kiev, if you want to give her a gift that you’ll both enjoy.” So yes, it’s all about levels of proven investment value, but...

Gift giving for girlfriends is a minefield. If you play the long game, you don’t want to make a habit of giving expensive or hard-to-acquire gifts, because that will raise her expectations and thus make her intolerable to live with two years down the road. Multiply her insufferable entitlement complex by ten should you make the mistake of marrying her. Remember that a girl will evaluate not just your worth, but her own worth as well based on the priciness or thoughtfulness of the gifts you give her.​

Maxim #87: The more expensive or thoughtful the gift you give a girl, the greater the risk that she will subconsciously begin to think she is too good for you.

Corollary to Maxim #87: If you are dating out of your league, or you are dating a young hot babe in her prime, you should do the exact opposite of what everyone will tell you to do — *don’t* buy her expensive gifts. Be particularly wary of advice from women. No woman in the world is capable of thinking clearly or impartially on the matter of “acceptable” levels of male provisioning. Even old, fat hausfrau hogs will expect mountains of jewels in offerings from men.

 

[vatoloco]

"A fool and his money are soon parted."​

 

[sstype]

I don't see an issue with this. Women are biologically hardwired to respond to men who can provide them something. Whether its good genes, resources, a commitment, social influence, women hardly, if ever, have sex with a man just for the sake of sex. Those that do are the vilified "slvts" that both men and women hate.

Why do men bother spending 80+ hours at their jobs, spend 8+ years in medical school, or risk their lives on oil rigs and battlefields?

Money is just a nice social construct man invented so we could compete for women in a civilized manner instead of hacking away at each other with swords and axes.

The only thing that makes a man with money chumpish is when he uses it in an attempt to buy a woman's love. Or if he's making 30k a year and blowing his entire paycheck on expensive dinner dates and gifts.

If you're making 250k+ a year, then its a manageable expense even if some of the women don't end up filling their end of the bargain. But then if you've got the other areas of your life handled (looks, social circle, game) then you shouldn't worry about being taken advantage of.

Of course lack of money can always be overcome by great game (which still involves lots of WORK), but I won't judge a guy who spends a little coin on a chick to "grease the wheels" so to speak.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Exactly my point.... If I have a potential keeper and is appreciative...then yes, I will be willing to spend money on her. There have been many I have had initially it did not cost a dime. I am not suggesting being "cheap", but there is NO way in hell every one is getting the same ride from me. The amount you make, really makes NO difference either. What has she done to deserve a $300 dinner? Believe I saw that posted her about someone trying to impress a woman whom was on tv, or worked for a tv channel.

This is setting a bad example, IMO, because a lot of women expect garbage like this and some posts are perpetuating and enabling such abhorrent behavior to continue!!!

Back in the day, most women appreciated you doing nice things and dates. They did NOT have this entitlement expectation like a lot do today. Even average a$$ ones have it! They think, "I have a Golden Taco, and he wants it...he is a man, they all want it. I will think about it, but it will cost him."

To each his own, but if you are treating every plate like this>>> spending a lot of money, each and every date... YOU have LOST your mind!!.<<<
Furthermore, I like to build it up. If a coffee date goes well and we do another date, I will gradually increase what I am willing to spend. AS attraction/ tension grows, I am more willing to spend more...BUT NOT tons.

I tell you one thing as well.. If you are getting laid and dishing out hard earned Jack, do your thing, but I still say some of the best times I have had socially and sexually did not cost me a dime!

Use common sense here. If you paid for a $30 dinner after a few dates and are hitting it off well with her...then by all means that is money well spent. If you like each other and you close, that is perfect... I am talking about spending absorbent amounts of money for ROI!!!

Again, ask yourself, "what has she done to get this from me?" If you become steady, engaged, married or whatever, then being a cheap a$$ is wrong.. Dead wrong!

Common sense guys....Use it or be taken advantage of

And there are exceptions to every rule. If I know we are into each other, and I mean really know. I will change venues and part with a little more.

 

[bigneil]

What exactly are you arguing or pointing out here?

That age-old wisdom has already addressed the issue of paying for dates, which some remain vehemently against.

Lots of great insight in the replies.

 

[AlexDP]

That age-old wisdom has already addressed the issue of paying for dates, which some remain vehemently against.

Lots of great insight in the replies.

You are beyond repair. If you were a dog, they'd shoot you.

 

[bigneil]

Speak of the Devil. Give AlexDP enough rope and he hangs himself every time.

 

[SgtSplacker]

" for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power." Page 333 Laws of Power (Robert Greene).

"A successful seducer is generous" (Louis/Copeland).

"You get what you pay for". "


"Power, seduction, "getting what you pay for"

These things work in situations where you are trying to buy someones "cooperation" superficially. Anyways most women you can just show a good time to and still hit the skins, without so much financial circulation. It would have to be a very materialistic set of D cups to get me in this attitude with her... maybe a super hot stripper? Most normal girls don't require so much glam and glit. It might work against you by making her feel like your buying her sex. I still think just cooking a home made meal for a girl is the ultimate bed warmer... prolly wouldn't work with strippers tho...