Desperately need help may have screwed up with gf

[Viper423]

Ok guys, so i guess I kinda screwed up. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 5 months now. Well, we haven't had sex but we have messed around. Well, I live with my friend during school in the dorm and we talk all the time about our relationships. I tell him everything about me and my girlfriend and he does the same with him.

About a month ago my girlfriend asks me if I have told my friend anything about us, and of course I said no. Well, she has been acting real strange lately around me and I finally got her to tell me what was wrong. She tells me that she found out somehow that I lied to her about telling my friend about stuff we do. Now all guys talk to each other, it's kind of expected for them to be a friend and not go telling other people, right? Well, needless to say, this ex-friend of mine couldn't keep his mouth shut and now I'm in deep **** with my gf.

We are at a restaurant talking and after she told me that she knew I lied to her, she also told me that I'm too controlling. Well, I am, but that is something that I have fixed and she knows that. (A previous gf cheated on me before so I've been paranoid) She told me that she needs some space and is going to spend some time with her friends more, and that we took things too fast and got too serious. And she said that we aren't messing around anymore. A few tears came to my eyes and she is like, this isn't that big of a deal, I'm not breaking up with you, we are just talking. Well, we still hung out tonight and watched a movie. Then when she said bye, i was like, think about what i said, I really mean it. Then she is like, i think you need to think about it. And she told me that she is mad at me, then kissed me and said she would talk to me tomorrow and goodnight.

What should I do? I mean, this girl didn't break up with me, but she has shown little affection towards me like she normally does. Do you think she will get over it or break up with me? Would sending flowers to her tomorrow help? Should I call her or let her call me first? Please I desperately need help and sorry for the long post.

 

[SamePendo]

Honestly man, at half your post I thought you were a girl having a relationship problem with this DJ...

told me that I'm too controlling. Well, I am

A few tears came to my eyes

What should I do?

she has shown little affection towards me like she normally does.

Would sending flowers to her tomorrow help?

Should I call her or let her call me first?

Please I desperately need help and sorry

Listen to yourself. If you change her and she, for him and he, the only thing missing is your *****.

(You can do better man... get yourself together)

 

[Desdinova]

Would sending flowers to her tomorrow help?

This is the biggest mistake most guys make. They give their woman flowers when they're pissed off.

Regardless of what anyone says, everyone needs to vent about their relationships. The only problem is your friend really wasn't a friend. He was an a55hole. I've been in a similar situation. The best thing to do is not deny it.

However, she's pissed off at you now and she's using her control over you to make you feel like crap. This is her revenge.

Since it sounds like you haven't read d1ck all in the DJ bible, here's how you can fix it, and it's not going to make sense to you....

She told me that she needs some space and is going to spend some time with her friends more,

This is either a guilt trip, a threat, or an attempt to break up with you. You're best bet is to go along with it. Take control of the situation and tell her, "You know, maybe you're right. We need to take a break from each other. It might be good for us to start dating other people."

Now, you're either going to have one of two things happen.

1) She'll get upset and turn what she started around. She'll change her mind about "taking a break" because women don't like to be cut off. They like to drag out the end of a relationship.

2) She'll agree. This will be in your favor because it means she was going to (slowly) dump you anyway. Better to end it quickly and move on instead of dragging the pain of the ending over several months.

Well, we haven't had sex but we have messed around.

This could also be a major problem. You two haven't fvcked after 5 months? She's horny, and she's going to find someone to fvck her if you don't. She may have found someone already, and she's trying to break things off with you.

 

[Fenderules]

this is what i would do......... and man its gonna take some balls you gotta do it




you gotta say "well if you are making this big a deal out of it im going to leave you. You are making things WAY bigger then they are and i dont deserve to be treated this way. If this is how its gonna be then i dont want to have anythign to do with you"



its a balls busting but it makes her realize your are:

1: not afc cause you DONT need her
2. she connot control you because YOU wont put up with it
3. you are confident
4. she must work to keep you (still a challenge)


but dont rub it in. just tell her you dont put up with **** and your sorry wut happened....you thought somebody was a friend you could trust. and this happens all the time.

and besides......who cares if you did ****.... she needs to get a little more mature

 

[NewMan]

You are acting like a puss.

* If a woman refuses to put out - put her out. Let me tell you, as soon as she uses sex against you - you are in trouble. She will continue to use that power over you now and in the future. Is that something you want?

* Do you want to be in a half assed relationship? that's what you have here. Don't let her threaten you. If she does - agree and move the fvck on.

* don't cry in front of anyone.

* Don't act like it's the end of the world. You've not evne got the poon yet.

* I wouldn't be in a 5 month relationship if she wasn't putting out. You shouldn't either.

* LJBF her today. Fvck her tomorrow when she comes back. And she will. And when she does you tell her - if you even withhold yourself from me again - your out of here.

 

[Viper423]

Thanks for all the advice guys...and the only reason we haven't fvcked is because she's paranoid about getting pregnant, so we opted for anal sex instead till she's ready. what about calling her? it's 2:00 in the afternoon and we haven't talked since last night. Should I wait for her to call me first? I plan on telling her that she's making too big a deal out of it and that I don't deserve to be treated this way. And that i think she's right, we should both have our space and date other people.

This does sound wierd to me, but usually the wierd is what works. So, again, should I wait for her to call me?

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

Originally posted by Viper423
so we opted for anal sex instead till she's ready.

don't they have birth control in the United States? I mean, it may be a third world country but they must have something...

don't call her. don't wait in for her to call you. go out with your friends tonight and meet other women.

quit centering your life and activities around her. you two aren't together anymore, she's acting ridiculous. when she calls you let her know who's in charge, but in the meantime don't worry about it. out of sight, out of mind, go find somebody else.

 

[Fenderules]

just be strong, show no more weakness...... you are a man and dont take **** from a girl.






so your ****ing her up the ass? guess taht aint so bad. but yeah all the information given to you by all these guys is good. It just depends how heavy you wanna take it. i

 

[Viper423]

Ok, well, I just called my girl to talk to her. I could tell by her tone she was still mad of course. Well, i just asked her what she was doing, and how her day was. Then I told her i just got up from a nap. Then i tell her, well, I'll talk to you later, I just wanted to call to talk to you. Then she tells me to quit pouting. This girl has got control over me, and I hate it.

I want nothing more then to issue that ultimatum (sp?) and tell her i don't deserve to be treated like this ect.. The problem is, what happens if she agrees and my plan backfires and we break up? I mean, my parents love this girl and her parents love me. And I've commited a lot to this relationship

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Viper423
Ok, well, I just called my girl to talk to her. I could tell by her tone she was still mad of course. Well, i just asked her what she was doing, and how her day was. Then I told her i just got up from a nap. Then i tell her, well, I'll talk to you later, I just wanted to call to talk to you. Then she tells me to quit pouting. This girl has got control over me, and I hate it.

I want nothing more then to issue that ultimatum (sp?) and tell her i don't deserve to be treated like this ect.. The problem is, what happens if she agrees and my plan backfires and we break up? I mean, my parents love this girl and her parents love me. And I've commited a lot to this relationship

turn it around on her man, act like nothing is wrong and go about your buisness. Don't call her a lot either.. just act like you normally always have been like nothing is bothering you and belive me either things will change for the good or you'll actually realize you don't need her

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by Viper423
Ok, well, I just called my girl to talk to her. I could tell by her tone she was still mad of course. Well, i just asked her what she was doing, and how her day was. Then I told her i just got up from a nap. Then i tell her, well, I'll talk to you later, I just wanted to call to talk to you. Then she tells me to quit pouting. This girl has got control over me, and I hate it.

I want nothing more then to issue that ultimatum (sp?) and tell her i don't deserve to be treated like this ect.. The problem is, what happens if she agrees and my plan backfires and we break up? I mean, my parents love this girl and her parents love me. And I've commited a lot to this relationship

Man you're totally lost.

1) Don't care what other people think. This relationship is between you and her. Not you and her parents and not her and your parents. It's YOUR life, not theirs. They'll get over it.

2) This whole idea of telling her that maybe you should see other people ONLY and I mean ONLY works when you're actually willing to go through with it. It's NOT a "bluff". It's for real. You have to be prepared to walk away for it to be effective.

Until you address this two issues, welcome to hell.

 

[NewMan]

**
I just called my girl to talk to her
**

You didn't take the advice.

**
Then she tells me to quit pouting. This girl has got control over me, and I hate it.

I want nothing more then to issue that ultimatum (sp?) and tell her i don't deserve to be treated like this ect.. The problem is, what happens if she agrees and my plan backfires and we break up? I mean, my parents love this girl and her parents love me. And I've commited a lot to this relationship
**

You get control by being a man.

She knows your a pvssy right now.

Ultimatums are for the weak.

You do. Don;'t threaten DO.

You know, I've put a lot of time into my dog, but if the fvcker bites me, I'm going to kick it's A## from one side fo the room to the other.

You've got to stop thinking like a woman. You've got to come at ti from a mans perspective.

Do you want to be in a fvcked up relationship with a b#tch?

Do you want to be married to this girl - who treats you like crap?


If your answer is no - then no matter the outcome you win.

If she remains a b#tch you move on. If she get's her sh#t together you win and stay with her.

focus on pleasing yourself - not her.

 

[MetalFortress]

Viper, reach down between your legs. What is that?

YOUR BALLS. USE THEM.

Quit being so submissive to her. Take control of yourself. Stop making excuses. Are you a man? Are you the same guy who claims he's a bodybuilding.com moderator and drives an Escalade? COME ON!

 

[Fenderules]

yeah i have to go with the guys on this one.



have you learned anything from this site at all??? i mean come on! have you read the bible buddy? seriously you should no the asnwers already

 

[Viper423]

That's the worst part. I do know all the answers and do things that my DJ mind tells me i shouldn't but I do them anyway because I think that's what will help. I am a DJ turned into an AFC because of this LTR with this girl. I just don't know what to do right now and am really depressed because she's not talking to me. She even told me last night that she wasn't breaking up with me, we were just talking.

Should I just give her space and let her vent and see if she cools down and comes back to normal?

 

[Desdinova]

I am a DJ turned into an AFC because of this LTR with this girl.

No, you've become an AFC because you let yourself become one. At some point in the relationship, you handed all your power over to your gf.

Should I just give her space and let her vent and see if she cools down and comes back to normal?

It really sounds like a lot of this 5hit isn't repairable. She's got the upper hand, she won't give into her sexual desires for you, and she's even telling you to quit being a whiny b1tch.

I just don't know what to do right now and am really depressed because she's not talking to me.

The more you try to repair it, the more frustrated you're going to get. You will continue to give yourself to this woman until there's nothing left to give. You've become unhappy because you've based all your happiness on being with her. She's now the one in control of your happiness.

I hope you're learning something from all this. BTW, when did you hand over your power to her?

 

[AverageFC]

I go to a small college, so its almost like high school. You tell one person one thing, they open their big fat mouth and tell everyone your goddamn business.

That's why I tend to keep my business between me and the other party involved, or just to myself.

 

[Kaine]

For once there is generally good advice been given by everyone here.

You are not listening to it

The more you push, the more she will pull away

She is attracted to balls, you've lost those along the way, have you checked under the couch?

Judging by the date of your registration, you of all people should know better.

Kaine

 

[MetalFortress]

Viper,

DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what your mind tells you to do!!! Simply STOP doing the AFC thing!

 

[NewMan]

Answer the question:

Do you want to always be her b#tch?

Is this the kind of relationship you want?


By being a symph, you've brought this on yourself.

Read you posts again - and the reponses.

I don't think your listening to yourself or anyone else.