Deos She like me? Friendship zone?

[Hunterchilla]

Ok so I was sitting on a bench waiting for the media club to start which was in a hour. This girl who always sits on the bench with her friends before her class was there as always.

And she always is talking to her friend and I always listen in because she is incredibly cute, she has the cutest personality and she is really pretty. Anyway ever since I got a contract with a modelling agency ive been really confident and I just walked up to her and said a corny pick up line.

" hey I have to confess I have a crush on you "

and she said " haha no one has ever told me that before "

anyway I walk her to her train and then we exchange phone numbers and i tell her im gonna call her this weekend. I call her on Friday and make plans for Saturday, and there she is on Saturday waiting for me where I told her to meet me. Everything is going perfect. I wantd to go to this book store and she comes with me and we have a great first date. She even worked some kino on me . she touched my arm and get real up close at times.

ok the issue is here, i said to her it dont make sense to me how come u only had 1 boyfriend ( because she is so cute ) anyway she said she has mostly guy friends and SHE said guys make the mistake of becoming her friend first and then she deosnt like them anymore like that but just as a friend. So we talked about this and this is after I read the article saying to steer clear of a friendship with the chick.

Anyway it would seem to the normal person that she really likes me, maybe im analyzing it to much this was the first date but I told her ( when I asked her out ) that I had a crush on her, and in person I complimented her a bunch, saying she has a cute personality, thats shes not overweight (she kept talking about being fat jokingly ofcourse) and i didnt recieve any feed back like I think ur hot also! or anything like that. The most I got were eye contact smiling, laughing and her being close to me.

I dont really know im gonna call her tomorrow I think to say hi and see what shes doing but should i expect her to call me? she has my cell # now. What should I look for and what should I not do now? im lost.

thx for reading this LONG post.

 

[Docs]

You don't uhh...be her 'friend'. You be the guy that is a slight pain in the ass to understand and contact.

The rest is up to you.

 

[The Juan and only]

ok, walking up to her and telling her straight showed some guts and demonstrated you have at least some confidence, which is good. The problem lies in that you're not being challenging enough...

It seems a lot of guys have the wrong mindset when it comes to women and place too much importance on them as a person. Remember, you are the MAN and she should want to go out with a don juan like you.

STOP giving out so many compliments (especially when she doesn't return the favour).. a few are ok but don't over do it....just think about it for a second, when you constantly compliment a woman you are building up her social status and percieved value. This isn't good as YOU want to be seen as the great catch not her....women want to think they're getting a good deal out of the relationship.

Constantly complimenting also demonstartes insecurity.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by Docs
You don't uhh...be her 'friend'. You be the guy that is a slight pain in the ass to understand and contact.

The rest is up to you.

Docs, That is the single greatest piece of advice I have ever heard here on DJ Discussion forums. Fantastic. You cannot be predictable. You must be "hot and cold" Affectionate, and passionate one minute, cold as a body on ice, as my boy Bon Scott used to sing, the next. Clinginess is next to death, women despise it. Be the opposite of clingy, act as if you have too much going on to concern yourself with her. Have friends, and hobbies, and activities and a FULL social life as possible, and career aspirations, and other things going on at all times, give her attention and take it away.

Contact? That is crucial. "A pain in the ass to contact" is gonna make her want you even more, if there was any chance in the first place.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

MOVE TO DJD

oi hard to peg ya jack... you are now labelled in my eyes... You are one of the males that exhude confidence with a lack of abilities... a true performer of the "fake it till ya make it" philos

 

[JackPrescott]

Re: MOVE TO DJD

Originally posted by Boner da Stoner
oi hard to peg ya jack... you are now labelled in my eyes... You are one of the males that exhude confidence with a lack of abilities... a true performer of the "fake it till ya make it" philos

"Lack of abilities?" In a town with a 6 to 1 male to female ratio that may be true. But even the odds a little, and everything changes.

 

[Hunterchilla]

thanks for the advice guys, now its been after the second date both times were great we havent kissed but we have spooned alot. Now I know she likes me but I dont know " how much " she likes me because im always initiating the spooning, im always like come over here~ and then we spoon, i THINK she tried to kiss me the other day when she was laying on me at the book store. She talked to my face like a inch away from my lips but I looked away cuz i was not expecting it and also I read that you should make her "fiend" for the kiss.

Anyway we had wierd chat online and she was askin me about my ex gf, and before I told her my ex gf still likes me, but in this convo I said I still liked her, which was untrue but I wanted to make her jealous, So what happened was, My girl said" so if you both still like each other why dont you go back out" so I say cuz i was pissed off that she said that " I ****ing like you, why would I do that!"

anyway she was like "OH i didnt know you like me! " so I said umm yeah duh!

and then she was oh your "COOL!"

which I was like wtf cool? isnt that the wrong word? but I didnt say anything after that, and then we planend our third date, which is tomorrow.

Im trying to play unavailabe but we speak ONLINE all the time and its kinda unavoidable, also she text messages me during the day, and I feel I have to respond ;p. But i dont call her and I tell her that im out partying etc.

Guys tell me what you think! I appreciate it thx.

 

[539]

Spooned? Pretty good for contact but a kiss should have came before that. If she's comfortable enough to spoon you, she's comfortable to kiss. Downside to that...she's using you as a teddy bear or somebody to pass the time with. That's like rewarding a girl with your comfort without showing any work for it. Cut the spooning until you get a kiss.

You just played yourself with telling this girl you like your ex just to get her jealous. Then she came back saying you 2 should get back together. And to make it worse, you admitted being pissed which can be viewed negatively in her eyes. A better response is that she still likes you but you're moving on in your life and she keeps trying to contact you. That at least show's that this girl has a shot but still has competition from the ex hanging around.

Another thing, cut the text messeging and online chatting to a minimum at least. It doesn't have to be all the time. You should be doing stuff that leads you away from the computer (living life) and making her wonder what you are doing. You don't have to text all the time either. There is no obligation to do anything. If you feel like responding, then do it. But don't do it to even the side. I rather shoot a quick phone call to her than text her. She gets to see your name on caller id and hear your voice. That's more powerful than text.

 

[smoke city]

Originally posted by Hunterchilla

Anyway we had wierd chat online and she was askin me about my ex gf, and before I told her my ex gf still likes me, but in this convo I said I still liked her, which was untrue but I wanted to make her jealous, So what happened was, My girl said" so if you both still like each other why dont you go back out" so I say cuz i was pissed off that she said that " I ****ing like you, why would I do that!"
anyway she was like "OH i didnt know you like me! " so I said umm yeah duh!

and then she was oh your "COOL!"

which I was like wtf cool? isnt that the wrong word? but I didnt say anything after that, and then we planend our third date, which is tomorrow.

Im trying to play unavailabe but we speak ONLINE all the time and its kinda unavoidable, also she text messages me during the day, and I feel I have to respond ;p. But i dont call her and I tell her that im out partying etc.

Why the hell are you talking about your ex with her? Saying sh!t like "oh no...my ex girl still likes me. i don't know what to do!" COME ON, man. this is drama queen sh!t and you know it. EVERYBODY knows it. You went on to tell her that you're not going out with her (or, i suppose, anyone else for that matter) because you F-ing like her. way to keep up the mystery.
don't get into crap like this, man -- don't play games and have these stupid "do you like me?" conversations. this is middle school crap. have FUN with her. FLIRT with her. look deeply into her eyes so she gets butterflies in her stomach...and make it obvious that you like her. this is what her "romantic hero" does.
[oh, and her romantic hero doesn't use msn messenger :crackup: ]

finally--stop "playing unavailable" if you are actually available. [maybe you're available but just don't WANT to see her] you don't HAVE to talk to her online every damn day. hang out with her only when you feel like it. if you feel like going a week in between dates and don't want to call her, then do that and don't apologize for it.

 

[ApproachDoc]

Ahh..just another test, just ignore it or be honest.

Tell her that you think she is a nice girl but that your intentions is to go beyond friends and that you already got enough friends at this time. And if she doesnt agree to it then that is fine....

Tell her it was nice knowing her and move on.

 

[Q-Pid]

Kiss her by the third date or she'll think you're gay.

-Q

 

[L777]

i imagine she probably sees you as her little b1tch by now

 

[JJMcLure]

- You APPROACHED her telling her you like her ("had a crush").

SHE KNOWS NOW. YOU HAVE TO ACT ON THAT IMMEDIATELY.

If you do not kiss her or you play "hard to get" or some other stupid games you are just going to seem incongruent and look insecure or lacking confidence.

She had you jumping through hoops saying "I think I'm fat" and you going no you're not. Don't fall for that. Never jump through a chick's hoops, it's a TEST (can she manipulate you/will you supplicate).

Forget this chatting online crap. For one thing, you don't know who else is there or even if she has left the room and someone else is typing etc.

She says most guys become her friend, that's where you are going to end up if you don't at least kiss her (and preferably fvck her).

 

[Hunterchilla]

OK thanks alot for your replys guys I appreciate alot.

Well today was the third date, I had no idea where to go with her because it was cold and I really didnt put much time into thinking what we were going to do.

So we ended up at borders again, she was sitting down and I grabbed her and made her lay on me, then we went back to my house and I attempted to kiss her as she was laying on me watchin a movie, and I kissed her on the lips but she completely didnt react which made it extremely awkward for me, and i was coimpletely stunned becuase then I realized that **** didnt like me.

After words ( I thought wed be making out) I WAS going to take her for a romanitc italian dinner but instead I figured she didnt like me so I just got her a slice of pizza.

I walked her to the train and awkwardly said good bye, but then 10 minute later she text msgs me, HOW COME YOU DIDNT KISS ME GOOD BYE IF YOU DONT LIKE ME ANYMORE ITS OK I WILL LIVE?" then im like " well i kissed u before and you werent into it, i dont think you like m

then I msged her I DONT WANT TO BE JUST FRIENDS, and she msged me " SAME " so I then msged her " SO ****IN KISS ME ( with a cute animation of kisses )

anyway it was really awkward. I dont know what it is with her, very shy around me but on the text messages she wants me to kiss her etc.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

Originally posted by Hunterchilla
HOW COME YOU DIDNT KISS ME GOOD BYE IF YOU DONT LIKE ME ANYMORE ITS OK I WILL LIVE

It is a mixed border situation waiting for her to kiss you first, and even worse telling her to kiss you if you yourself get shook up about her not being into it... sometimes with the right kind of girl who's NOT slutty she won't get into the kiss like you think she would, and sometimes you choose the wrong moment, and she feels even more awkward than you... you felt like whippin it out right there, she wanted to get comfortable...

either way... that quote is the ****ing bomb!

 

[Hunterchilla]

me and her are talking right now, and you are exactly right, she was very surprised that i randomely kissed her, and it was awkward for her. SHe is not very experienced but she deos like me. ( so it seems).

oh and she said that Quote not me.

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by JackPrescott
Docs, That is the single greatest piece of advice I have ever heard here on DJ Discussion forums. Fantastic. You cannot be predictable. You must be "hot and cold" Affectionate, and passionate one minute, cold as a body on ice, as my boy Bon Scott used to sing, the next. Clinginess is next to death, women despise it. Be the opposite of clingy, act as if you have too much going on to concern yourself with her. Have friends, and hobbies, and activities and a FULL social life as possible, and career aspirations, and other things going on at all times, give her attention and take it away.

Contact? That is crucial. "A pain in the ass to contact" is gonna make her want you even more, if there was any chance in the first place.

Merci.

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Well, kiss her again. She said she liked you, so go for it. There is a great post by Wyldfire that would seem to suit this situation.
(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16485)
As I was reading the posts, I was wondering if you were going to miss your window of opportunity. Apparently you didn't. If you think she's inexperienced, give her some room to act a bit unpredictable, and take it slow. You know her better than anyone on this board ever will, so trust your instincts.

Also, don't compliment her so much. It ruins the tension, challenge and puts her on a pedestal. Because you've already said all of these things to her, just stop and let her internalize it for a while. If you plan something and it's obvious she went out of her way to get all fixed up just for you, then in my way of thinking, she's "earned" at least a passing positive comment.

 

[Hunterchilla]

LongDrinkofwater thanks alot;

i spoke to her about this; and supposedly she was just very bad at kissing and i pulled back to quik.

I really just quikly kissed her lips and I wanted her to react but she didnt do it quik enough, so I screwed my self over, Really she was into it, and as a matter of fact she thought i was " really sweet " that I kissed her so randomely. Im happy I talked to her about it and now I know she really deos want me to kiss her. I also know now that she is very inexperienced and im the 2nd GUY she has kissed in her life (supposedly) so I can understand where we had the problem. I made my self look completely chumpish when I was angry at the end of the date, and I kinda rushed her home...

But we settled it great on the phone

and now she said " you owe me a kiss "

so on wednesday we will see what happenes! thanks for reading my posts.