Comatozed said:
Fair enough I take your point now.
I was talking about a bunch of numbers of girls of which some I haven't even met (tinder) and the majority I have 0 investment so deleting would not phase me at all.
I can resonate with it though as deleting my oneitus' number and from fb/twitter was something that made me feel uneasy and scared I was severing any last ties and chances to get her back. I did it eventually cos it was getting to me seeing her **** in my news feeds. If i get dumped by anyone I care about in the future, I won't hesitate to erase completely. I can't see me letting my self get hurt/invested again in the future though, which is good..i guess.
Well of course that wouldn't work then. I was talking about a girl you've already established some sort of relationship with (at least 3-4 dates, already banged) so you know there's some connection there. Guys usually don't come off as needy right away, instead it happens slowly without them realizing it so that's why it's important to check yourself when things are going "great." Because that's usually when you get blindsided the most is when you least expect it.
Questions to consider:
-How is the text & call frequency now compared to when we first met? (or started dating/fvcking)
-How often is she initiating texts nowadays? If for the first month she initiated 80% of the time, and now you find yourself initiating 70%, there's an imbalance there that needs to be corrected. That's because her initiating 80% is what MADE her attracted to you in the first place.
-Then you get in the mindset of "Oh she already likes me now so I can be more open and attentive to her" nope. She doesn't like you, she likes the chase. She likes the game. She likes the thrill of it and the drama. The constant swings between excitement/anxiety, her hamster spinning out of control trying to figure you out but you're too mysterious, unpredictable, and detached. THATS what she craves. And she misinterprets these emotions as strong attraction towards you, because she's invested so much mental energy on you it's her only way to rationalize it (subconsciously).
-And as soon as you flip the switch and start investing more into her, you lose the very traits that made her attracted to you to begin with. She doesn't want you to like her as much as she likes you. She thinks she does, but she doesn't. Because then it will appear she is above you. And once she's above you there's no more game. There's no thrill, no chase, no excitement. At that point she'll dump you and pick up the "game" with a new guy who actually knows how to play it (or does if naturally because that's just who he is).