Define what it means to "be a di*k" to women.

[tomwesten27]

I naturally come off di*kish sometimes with women and it works to my benefit. Sometimes I can't seem to draw the line on when to push and when to ease back a bit..

What defines you as "being a di*ck?" You know the old saying nice guys finish last.

One of my guy friends is really confident and treats women like trash..not literally spitting in there face and cursing at them lol but you know just doesn't tolerate the BS and is very BOLD...doesn't give a crap.

Please help me understand better where to draw the line...what does it mean to YOU???

 

[FairShake]

I used to be a d*ck to women. It NEVER worked for me. I guess it works for some but they have more charisma than I do. It tended to alienate women when I was a d*ck.

I'm a pretty good guy even if I don't always say the right thing. But what I don't do is kiss anyone's ass. I don't hesitate to say what I feel and I don't treat anyone better than they treat me (other than bosses but you know, I gotta eat).

That's not being a d*ck, it's being a grown up. Some people cannot see the difference and these people won't ever embrace the skill to move between the two.

 

[FairShake]

Not saying it DOESN'T work, because we've all seen it work. But if it's not in you I don't think being a d*ck is the way to go.

Being a man is though. All women want a man who is his own man.

 

[VikingKing]

Not caring about their feelings.

 

[No.Danny]

Guys don't understand. I guess I'll make a thread about this since it's so played out and misunderstood. Being a dicvk won't get you women. Not caring is what gets you women. Guys who don't care get the girls. Not the dvcks. The thing is that most guys who are dvcks to their advantage don't care either.

 

[ArcBound]

Here is what I have suspected for a long time:

Most people who fail with women have terrible social skills, and not only that, they are on the extreme end of the supplicating nice guy side. So then they go to a site like heartiste or so suave.net and hear advice like "Be an a$$hole".

Now they move from that extreme end and start moving a little bit towards the a$$hole side. Then they start seeing results and think "Wow being an a$$hole works!"

Except they never became an a$$hole. They simply balanced selflessness and selfishness like a normal person and moved away from the overly supplicating side. It is like a swinging pendulum, on one extreme side there is overly niceness/supplication on the other is supreme a$$holery. Many take the advice to be an a$$hole which moves them from the extreme nice end to the middle.

That's why while the saying "Be an a$$hole to get women" is not true at all, it still is sound advice for the nice AFC guy to take. Because that nice guy's version of a$$hole is a normal well adjusted individual. Most AFC's have taken to heart what society has told them about being polite, nice, selfless and telling them to be an a$$hole simply allows the AFC to become normally adjusted.

 

[Eph]

One of my guy friends is really confident and treats women like trash..not literally spitting in there face and cursing at them lol but you know just doesn't tolerate the BS and is very BOLD...doesn't give a crap.

I wouldn't exactly call that "treating women like trash" if that's all. Being a d!ck just means (in my opinion) physically hurting them, threatening them, etc. Not taking sh!t from them, and being bold doesn't really make you a d!ck. I do think there is a limit to how bold you should be though. For instance, you shouldn't be slapping the a$$ of someone you don't know. Especially, when you don't know how they'll react.

 

[logicallefty]

I think the starting point on the board just like Go in Monopoly is RESPECT. A real man/Don Juan should always start out trying to give any given person as much respect as possible until they prove undeserving.

After Go, I think it's relative to every relationship.

If you are a man with overall good looks, a ripped body, good height, lots of confidence, and high financial/work status, I think you can get away with being more of a "d!ck" to people and get away with it without souring relations with said person.

People are, in general, insecure. To MOST folks if someone with a high score of the above characteristics treats them badly, they are more likely to put up with it because deep in their subconsious mind they are thinking "this person is better than me, I have to put up with this". On the other hand, if someone lesser treats them the same, they are likely to think "WHO are THEY to treat ME like this, I don't have to put up with this".

I ALSO think this could swing the other way with a woman in specific. I think a guy with a high score of these traits above could also get away with being more beta/AFC in a relationship with a female before he gets friend zoned vs an average guy.

On the other hand, if you are man of average or poor body and looks, average or poor status, average or poor confidence, you have to figure out how to deal with specific people and figure out where "that line" is between you and said person.

If you don't want to sour relations with said person then you have to figure out, with this person, how not to be too much of a "d!ck" but yet not let them walk all over you when/if they try to.

On the other hand, if it's someone who you could care less if you sour relations or not, then you can be as much of a d!ck as you want to. And eventually they won't like you, and you don't care.

In summary, the dynamic between any two individual people is just that, dynamic...