Deferring Sex?

[Herb]

So last Wednesday I went to an electronic concert at a major venue in my city, despite having work early in the morning the next day, since I was dragged by a friend last minute and it was actually an artist I really liked and wanted to see. When we got there we sort of split up, with him going to mack on random girls and me just doing my thing. I just went there to have fun and listen to the music, not expecting or trying to get any tail that night. I casually started chatting with a girl next to me about the artist and before I knew it she was grinding on me and we were making out in a few more minutes. She barely let me go anywhere the rest of the night, but I didn't mind since I was having a good time and she was pretty hot. At the end of the night she offered for me to come back to her place, and, having considered this earlier, decided that I should probably defer sex to another time since it was already almost 2 in the morning and I had to get up at 6, my apartment being a half hour away, and me not dressed appropriately for work.

She seemed a little disappointed and tried to convince me otherwise, but I thought it was the right thing to do since I had a presentation the next day that required me to have at least a few hours of rest and preparation. Even if I did end up hooking up with her, I was pretty drunk by that time and it wouldn't have been good. Anyway I got her number and later texted her asking if she made it back alright, to which she responded affirmatively. I also told her that I'd be leaving for a long weekend trip until Sunday to visit some friends in a different state, which was true, but that I'd hit her up next week. We had a brief two message exchange about the concert and then I wished her a good weekend.

While traveling, I was a very rural area with no cell service. On Monday after I got back I texted her to see what was up, and we chatted a bit about our weekends and I told her how mine was wild. I took a while to get back to her texts since I was busy. When I mentioned hanging out in the next few days, she said that her mom is coming over tonight and staying for a week so she can't lol. Which is clearly a bs excuse.

I'm guessing she just wanted something that night last week while she was there drinking and having fun and in the moment (basically a one night stand), but the moment passed and she wasn't into it anymore. However, I hope she didn't get the wrong idea and think that I was considering doing something more serious with her, as in dating... maybe I shoulda indicated what I meant by “hanging out” if it wasn't clear haha.

Anyway this particular case really doesn't matter much to me, but I just wanted to ask the community here how these kinds of situations should be approached in general, for future reference? I've had a similar thing happen to me before. Is there much I could've done at all? Is there a way to conveniently “hold on” to what would've been an easy hookup/one night stand and save it for later? I would've thought some women respect the man being able to hold off and show restraint... plus the fact that I didn't talk to her much in the intermediate days like some needy dude; I was just doing my own thing. Maybe it would've been better if I occasionally sent a flirty text to re-engage?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Electronic concert = Ecstasy!! Comon man making out grinding with a stranger, were her pupils huge?

Sounds like she was rolling her b*lls off and was just living in the moment, like you said. Dude no worries hit her up one more time in a week or so to a EDM club or some sh*t. You have nothing to lose who cares. You've already laid some ground work too so.

Ok I have to know, who was at the concert?

I recently found knife party, fun drops!

 

[JohnChops]

you met an edm slut, those girls just want to roll face and not care about anything. Low quality trash.

 

[stevo]

One night stand's like a wave, once it passes it might not come back.

These are not the girls that get impressed when men defer seks. These are the ones that get repelled by it.

Too much texting imo. Feels too much like a prep for LTR. Let this one cool off.

Next time, fcuk her, bust quick and get out. Then tell her to come over at a different date so you can properly ravage her.

For ONS, fcuk first, rationalize later. That way you have a higher chance of seeing her again.

 

[blind_one]

I agree with stevo on this.

I believe you did the right thing, going back to your place, your career is more important than some poon, good job.

 

[Bingo-Player]

girls aren't constantly horny but she was drunk and probably wanted sex that night

you ticked some boxes and seemed like a good candidate but you declined

the experience doesn't need to be anymore than that , leave it there move onto the next

 

[Mike32ct]

ONS' are usually a limited time offer. Once the booze wears off, music ends, excitement of Fri/Sat night ends, etc., she is usually feeling quite different. It's really tough to get a "rain check" in such a situation.

But you did the right thing by putting work first.

 

[Herb]

Thanks, that basically confirms what I was thinking. I don't really regret it. I think I made the right decision in the end.

Sounds like she was rolling her b*lls off and was just living in the moment, like you said. Dude no worries hit her up one more time in a week or so to a EDM club or some sh*t. You have nothing to lose who cares. You've already laid some ground work too so.

Ok I have to know, who was at the concert?

I recently found knife party, fun drops!

Yeah, she was definitely drunk at least; I asked her if she was rolling but she said "no, but I used to do that". I wasn't that night either, of course. It was a Marshmello show actually. And yeah, she definitely wanted to hook up that night. I gotta remember that women aren't always in the mood like men, though. I hear gay dudes have it easier since they're always ready to go haha.

girls aren't constantly horny but she was drunk and probably wanted sex that night

you ticked some boxes and seemed like a good candidate but you declined

the experience doesn't need to be anymore than that , leave it there move onto the next

Yeah she probably just felt different about it later. Also, she had two gay friends with her who didn't seem to take a liking to me much; I could see them trying to deter her from doing anything with me on the trip back home.

What was misleading is that she did, for the most part, reply rather quickly to my subsequent texts, until that last one lol. But I've had that happen to me a few times. And I'm only mentioning that to help with analysis so I can apply to other situations.

And yeah I think next time there's a show there's theoretically a chance I can do something if she's there, but who cares. But that time I'll be looking for other opportunities. In fact, if I learned anything here, it's most important to just have fun and look like you're having fun, and women will gravitate to you in those situations.