defensiveend96 JOURNAL

[amazingswayze]

Thanks for the reply swayze. I've got 2 things besides football that make me happy. The first one is weightlifting, which is pretty obvious, and the second one is cars. I really like learning about and working on old muscle cars and classic cars. When I'm older and have some more money, I want to restore an old muscle car. I'm really considering going to college as a mechanic as it is really interesting me right now.

Speaking of school, I think I have senioritis. I don't care about the classes I'm taking and I don't see the point of what I'm learning. Some of my teachers straight up said that the stuff we are learning won't matter after this year. I really just want to be done high school. I'm almost an adult and yet I spend 6 hours a day sitting in a chair listening to some lard ass ramble about something that doesn't matter. I just feel like I could be doing a lot more with my time instead of sitting in school all day. I know education is important, but I really hate school and I am unmotivated to try in class. I think its because I am uninterested in the things we are learning. If I was being taught something I'm passionate about, I would like school a lot more.

I started nofap again as I think it will help my confidence and self esteem. I'm a week or so into it and I feel pretty good. I really want to get laid though. Does anyone here have any experiences with nofap? How has it worked for you guys? I feel its giving me the motivation to go and talk to girls instead of just fapping over them.

I had a phone interview for a job and I thought I did pretty good but after the lady asked me a few questions she just said thanks and goodbye. I don't get it. She never said if she would call back or anything. I'll admit I was pretty nervous during the interview and I probably sounded nervous, but I still think I did good enough to get the job.

Workouts are going great as always. I'm getting leaner and stronger. I used to work out with a good friend of mine but now hes just gotten lazy and doesn't want to lift anymore. I keep trying to convince him to start lifting again but he won't budge.

Thats pretty much it. I want to talk to some girls tomorrow and hopefully get some action soon.

keep up with your hobbies. i once read that when you do things like weight lifting you let out your frustrations (sexual energies). it is a positive way to use your testosterone and motivation. my experience with nofap is that it is worth it, but too hard for me to stick to. i have gone nofap for multiple days, sometimes a week, never quite a month. my vice is masturbating i guess. i even lost my virginity but i went home and fapped the same day. i wish it wasnt a problem for me, but it is.

i dont practice what i preach bro, sorry lol. but what i will tell you is that the most important thing for you to do is be productive. you wanna get laid but probably just to say you did it. i finally got laid and let me tell you it was a good feeling but it was nothing special. nothing physically changed about me. it was all in my head.

anyways, senior year is fun. once its all over with you will wonder what you were in a rush for. have fun, and keep your grades up. go to all the events and scratch a few things off your bucket list before you run out of time... GOOD LUCK!

 

[defensiveend96]

Thanks for the advice swayze.

Today has been a bad day so far. School and the gym are closed so I've done nothing all day except relapse on nofap. I need to stay busy.

 

[defensiveend96]

Day 7 of Nofap. Some benefits so far:
-When I used to fap a lot I found that my mind was racing when I tried to sleep but now I can fall asleep pretty quickly and I'm not tired in the morning.
-My skin looks clearer and healthier and I don't have dark rings under my eyes
-Feeling more confident and motivated to approach girls, no more second guessing
-Feel generally good, happy, and enjoying life

Had some bad urges today though, especially at the gym where this hbb asian girl was doing squats. I resisted the urges though and felt better after. I find that listening to loud music helps me push through the urges.

Those are the benefits I have seen in just 7 days. I'm going for the 90 day challenge. I know some people think its all broscience bullchit, but I am going to find out for myself if it is truly worth it or not and I will document my results here.

Anyway, today was a pretty good day. I feel more confident and happy with myself and I think that will translate well to all aspects of my life. I am still trying to find a job and I'm hoping one of my friends will be able to hook me up at his job. I also really want to buy a car. I have enough money saved up for a car right now but I need to get a job to pay for insurance/gas/possible repairs.

 

[defensiveend96]

Day 8 of Nofap
-I've started taking cold showers. Apparently they are really good for you and it helped me kill an urge where I was very close to relapsing today.
-Urges were pretty bad today. I'm worried about making it through the holidays. It's going to be challenging.
-I want to approach girls now. I feel confident and comfortable when before I was nervous and was overthinking.
-I feel better about myself overall and seem to look better.
-Felt pretty tired today though, especially in the morning and after school. I didn't take a cold shower this morning but I will tomorrow to see if it helps,

Thats all for now. Just finished a good workout at the gym. I need to find another lifting buddy after my usual one got lazy. I also need to finish some homework and apply for another job.

 

[defensiveend96]

Fuuukin relapsed I couldnt help it
http://www.phun.org/bonus_butts/2/bonus_butts_1783.jpg

Back to day 1

 

[defensiveend96]

Hey dudes, got a few updates.....

Nofap ain't going well. Relapsed again. Don't feel any different. Still feel like a badass.
Still doing cold showers. Love em.
Lifting going great. Getting many compliments on my body.

For most of the day, especially when lifting, I feel like theres a fvkcing ball of energy inside me ready to blow up if I don't lift something or use the energy in some way. I know it sounds weird but it feels great. Even typing this late at night I feel like running around the block or talking to some chick or hitting some people in football or benching fvckin heavy weight. I dont really know how to explain it, its like when you take a bunch of caffeine and your just ready to fvckin go!

Not much else. Will probably update tomorrow. Also I'd really appreciate some feedback from some of the really wise and respected members of this forum like maximus rex and dudes like that. They gave me really good advice early on in my journal and it really helped me.

 

[defensiveend96]

fukkin cold showers give you so much energy

today was a pretty great day. had a lot of fun, was very social, and had a great workout. Just felt overall very confident and energetic.

also like I posted earlier any advice or feedback is really appreciated.

 

[amazingswayze]

today was a pretty great day. had a lot of fun, was very social, and had a great workout. Just felt overall very confident and energetic.

doing good!

 

[defensiveend96]

Hey dudes....

Got invited to a college party. My friends brother goes to college near my town and he invited us to party with him next weekend. Its gonna be a lot of fun. I'm going to the party to have fun first and hit on girls second, but I still want to talk to a lot of girls and hook up with one or more.What should I talk about with the college girls? Some people say just talk about their classes and **** but that seems really boring. I'm gonna open by just saying hi and asking there names, but what should I say after? Are college girls different from high school? Also, will they think its weird that a high schooler is there? Apparently I am in better shape than most of the guys who party, but I'm still wondering if they will think its weird since I'm still in HS. Or should I just not tell them and say I'm from a different college/city? I could really use some advice from the college guys on these forums.

 

[amazingswayze]

Think less about the outcome and just have fun. Be fun, interesting, engaging. The college girls are older but it doesn't mean you can't relate to each other. Be cool and friendly and have fun. If one of the chicks is diggin you, you'll know it. Act accordingly.

 

[defensiveend96]

Think less about the outcome and just have fun. Be fun, interesting, engaging. The college girls are older but it doesn't mean you can't relate to each other. Be cool and friendly and have fun. If one of the chicks is diggin you, you'll know it. Act accordingly.

Listen 80% and talk 20%.
Ask questions.
Smile.
Show and demand respect.

You know...the basics...

Thanks dudes. I'm pretty excited for the parties. Gonna get blitzed and have so much fun.
I'm thinking of making up a story about where I'm from to tell the girls. I doubt they would react well if I told them I was in HS.

 

[amazingswayze]

Thanks dudes. I'm pretty excited for the parties. Gonna get blitzed and have so much fun.
I'm thinking of making up a story about where I'm from to tell the girls. I doubt they would react well if I told them I was in HS.

A pimp never lies.

 

[defensiveend96]

A pimp never lies.

In this case I think it would work better if I lied about where I'm from.

Weird day today. On the one hand I had a really good workout. On the other hand, throughout the day, I didn't feel very confident or social and I was doubting myself. Maybe I was just having a bad day. School was bad too. Tomorrow will be better. There's also this chick who's been eyeing me and I wanna talk to her, hopefully I can catch her tomorrow.
Not much else to report. I did see a fat girl with a shirt that said "DREAM BIG". That was pretty fukkin funny.

 

[yungballa]

Hey dudes, got a few updates.....

Nofap ain't going well. Relapsed again. Don't feel any different. Still feel like a badass.
Still doing cold showers. Love em.
Lifting going great. Getting many compliments on my body.

For most of the day, especially when lifting, I feel like theres a fvkcing ball of energy inside me ready to blow up if I don't lift something or use the energy in some way. I know it sounds weird but it feels great. Even typing this late at night I feel like running around the block or talking to some chick or hitting some people in football or benching fvckin heavy weight. I dont really know how to explain it, its like when you take a bunch of caffeine and your just ready to fvckin go!

Not much else. Will probably update tomorrow. Also I'd really appreciate some feedback from some of the really wise and respected members of this forum like maximus rex and dudes like that. They gave me really good advice early on in my journal and it really helped me.

I'm on NoFap, too.

NoFap doesn't really benefit me in any way. I can jack off every single day and still feel like I'm the king of the world.

I don't think NoFap grants you superpowers, but I just do it anyway because the more I masturbate, I feel less of a desire to approach/talk to females.

One thing I'll say is: I don't think NoFap should be used if you think you'll gain "superpowers". You have to gain those "superpowers" on your own by improving yourself. All NoFap really does (in my opinion) is just give you more free time instead of wasting your time on masturbation.

If you improve your life via working out, raising your confidence, meditation, etc etc, you'll still feel godly whether you masturbate every day or once a year.

 

[GetBetter]

In the book Think and Grow Rich there is a whole chapter on Sexual Transmutation. He says it is our sexual energy thay helps us reach new heights. If you cut off your sex organ, you will lose all the energy and will probably be good for nothing. Geniuses all around the world preserve this most important energy and instead of letting it out through masturbation, intercourse just channel it to their work and reach to the top. He has examples and lot of theory in that chapter which I don't remember word to word.
So be highly sexual but do not release the energy. If you do not masturbate and even if you lose the will to have sex, that energy will transmute to some other activity. Makes sense?

 

[defensiveend96]

Thanks for the replies yungballa and get better.
It's been a bit since I last posted. I'm just gonna ramble off a few thoughts.

Parties did not go as I planned. Got waaaaaaaaaaaay too drunk and ended up smoking pot and eating mcdonalds all night with random people. My fault but fukk man I wish I wasn't so stupid sometimes. The good news is that everyone there wants me to come back again. Just gotta find the time now.

Got a job at the local movie theater and bought a car. It's a bit of a sh!tbox but all I can afford atm especially with insurance fukking me up the butt. I'm planning on working until summer at the theatre and then finding a better job hopefully landscaping or something like that.

I'm considering going after crystal again. Seriously. She has been looking pretty good lately and she's single. I'm a way different person since she rejected me. I'm jacked now and I dress a lot better. Let me know what you guys think about this, I mean it's just high school right? I'm never gonna see her again after this year so I might as well see if anythings there. Idk maybe some of you experts can steer me in the right direction.

Speaking of girls I've been a lot more positive at school lately and just having a fun carefree attitude and it actually helps a lot. Some girls have come up and talked to me and others are really nice when I talk to them. I also wanna get to know this one girl who's been checking me out a bit. Only see her in halls though so need a way to approach without being creepy and need something to talk about besides the boring cliche school talk.

Anyway that's about it for me dudes. Feel free to post criticism, advice, or pictures of Lindsay Lohan when she used to be hot. Like this one:
http://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/213/989/3/S2139893/slug/l/103961537-1.jpg
DaMN!
I'm kidding. Lohan is still super hot.

 

[amazingswayze]

Chasing girls from the past has never worked for me. I don't think it's smart. Let me know how it goes for you

 

[defensiveend96]

Chasing girls from the past has never worked for me. I don't think it's smart. Let me know how it goes for you

Why hasn't it worked for you?

 

[amazingswayze]

Sometimes they still you as the same person, regardless of how much you have changed. It's best to start new, in my opinion.

 

[defensiveend96]

Sometimes they still you as the same person, regardless of how much you have changed. It's best to start new, in my opinion.

I appreciate your advice swayze. Does it matter that she was showing me signs of very high interest a while ago? Or should I just move on?