defensiveend96 JOURNAL

[defensiveend96]

Life is good.

Workouts are awesome as usual. I am getting stronger and bigger and I look good. I look in the mirror and I really like what I see which is a great feeling.

Brianna talked to me today. I'm not sure if I mentioned her before, but I met her a while back when she came into my class with one of my friends. Anyway, that same friend told just recently me that Brianna likes me and wants to hang out and that she also broke up with her boyfriend. She stopped me today while I was walking down the hall and she smiled and said hi and all. It was a short convo as we both had to get to class but it was still fun and she was really flirty. I can tell that she really likes me. Anyway, I am going to get her number next chance I get and then set up a date. I've heard shes dtf too which is good.

I've been trying to find a job recently. I've sent my resume to a bunch of places but haven't gotten any responses yet. Do you guys have any advice on getting a job or any important things I should know? I would really appreciate the help.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I printed out my resume, dressed sharp, and drove and walked around to all the places I could see myself working. Didn't matter if they were looking for work, I just walked in and asked if I could see the daily leader/manager, talked to them and gave them my resume etc.

Do this in combination with looking online and asking friends.

 

[defensiveend96]

Thanks NorwegianDJ for the advice. I've already asked my friends who have jobs if there is any openings at their work and I've been looking and applying online, but your advice will probably get me much better results. Do you think I should apply in person to the places I've already applied online?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Definitely.

 

[defensiveend96]

Thanks again for the advice man. I am going out tomorrow to apply to a bunch of places.

Football training camp starts soon. The coaches are testing our bench and squat. I have the 2nd heaviest bench on the team and possibly the heaviest squat, so I'm pretty confident heading into camp. I'm also really excited.

Yesterday I went to a homework help club thing at school where I met a new girl, HB Katherine. She was giving me eye contact a lot so I approached. I asked her if anyone was sitting next to her and she said no and smiled at me so I sat down and we talked for a bit. She looked hotter from further away but still it was good practice.

School is almost done for me. I really can't wait for summer. The part I am most excited about is training for football. Right now I am fully focused on football. I don't even care if I have any plates for summer or not, I just want to become the best football player I can and tear up the league next fall.

 

[defensiveend96]

Not much new to report...

I applied for a few jobs. Hopefully I hear back from them.

Brianna seems to like me a lot but I don't really like her anymore. I've been talking to her and she just isn't my type. She's clingy and not what I'm looking for in a girl. Not worth it.
Theres this girl who likes me and stares at me, but she also gets A LOT of attention from other guys. I'm not sure how to go about talking to her because she is always around other guys. Anyway, I need to move fast because I only have another week or so of school left.

Thats it for now. Nothing really exciting has happened. I want to talk to some other girls before summer and try to get some numbers. And I need to apply for a few more jobs.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Usually people looking for jobs go ahead and apply to at least 20-30. You may want to check out /r/resumes and other subreddits for help with jobs.

 

[defensiveend96]

Fvck I've been away for a while. Updates...

Its finally summer. Well its been summer for a bit for me I just forgot to update this. Anyway, its going good so far.

I got my drivers licence. I can't afford a car yet but I am able to use my parents car when they don't need it.

I still don't have a job. I applied to a ton of places but hardly got any responses. I got 5 interviews, some by phone some in person, for jobs and I fvcked them all up. They ask for my previous work experience, which I have none. And they ask why I am a good candidate for the position and I just don't know what to say so I usually just say because I am a hard worker. I won't have time for a job once school starts because I have football every day. I'm still gonna try to get a job this summer though.

I got a back injury while playing football with friends and now I can't lift weights for a couple weeks. It really sucks but that's what the doctor said I need to do if I want to be healthy for football season. I can still do cardio so I guess life isn't so bad.


I was out biking the other night with some friends and one of them said that his sister thinks I'm hot. I've never met her and I didn't even know she went to our school but apparently she's seen pictures of me and knows I play football. It kinda creeped me out but I guess I'll take it as a compliment considering she called me hot.

Not much else to say for now. I'm gonna try to update this more often like I used to.

 

[defensiveend96]

Whats good sosuave?

I felt like writing in this today even though not much happened.

I feel like it will be really easy for me to get a girlfriend when school starts up again. A lot of girls think I'm attractive and I've realized that its not hard to talk to girls and you don't need to think of some secret opener or line that will make them attracted to you. You just gotta talk to them and try to see what you have in common and build off of that. When school was still on, I was stressing myself out over what to say and how to say it and when to say it and the thing is I never actually said anything. I wasted all this time wondering what could happen, what might happen, and now I'm left wondering what could have been. Oh well. Lesson learned. When school starts I am going to be a lot more relaxed than last year and just talk to these girls. I really have nothing to lose. Hell, I might even talk to Crystal again, I've been thinking about her a lot lately.

Anyway just felt like rambling for a bit. I want my injury to heal so I can get back in the gym again. Football is gonna start real fast.

 

[defensiveend96]

My sh!tty internet has been down for a week so I haven't been able to update. Its back up now and hopefully it won't go down again.

I'm getting really pumped for football this year. If I didn't mention before, I was named captain of the team. I have been preparing for the upcoming season for a while now, working my butt off in the gym and doing cardio, and I am really excited to see if it all pays off. I'm nervous too, but I know that the nerves will go away once I start playing. I need to get healthy for football too. I have a few nagging injuries from weightlifting and football that I need to heal before the season.

Not much else really to say right now. Hopefully my injury heals soon so I can get back to the gym.

 

[defensiveend96]

I'm back to lifting heavy now that my injury has healed. Feels good.

I've had a bad cold the past few days and I've felt like sh!t. I think its stomach flu or something. I haven't been sleeping well at all either, only gotten around 4 hours the past few days.

I want to start reading more. I'm going to the library today to start reading. Usually when I read before bed I sleep well so I'm thinking reading could help my sleeping problem.

Not really much new stuff has been going on. The days are mostly the same for me. Sleep, eat, gym, maybe do some football drills. I can't wait for fall.

 

[GetBetter]

Dude come on! You still have to make goals to go talk to a girl? That too the one who is literally giving you all the indications?! Come on dude! Call me rude but I am fed up of seeing the same goal and you making promise to go talk to "that" girl who did "that"! You haven't given heed to the advices given to you, have you?
Maybe you have social anxiety in general? In that case talk to strangers, as many as you can. Laugh at your failures then. Courage dude. You have to stand up and do it. The lesser the time taken, the easier it will be. Plus, ask yourself, "why do I want "that girl?" Will give you even more motivation.

Good luck! Great going with rest of the stuff!

 

[defensiveend96]

Dude come on! You still have to make goals to go talk to a girl? That too the one who is literally giving you all the indications?! Come on dude! Call me rude but I am fed up of seeing the same goal and you making promise to go talk to "that" girl who did "that"! You haven't given heed to the advices given to you, have you?
Maybe you have social anxiety in general? In that case talk to strangers, as many as you can. Laugh at your failures then. Courage dude. You have to stand up and do it. The lesser the time taken, the easier it will be. Plus, ask yourself, "why do I want "that girl?" Will give you even more motivation.

Good luck! Great going with rest of the stuff!

I still have goals to talk to girls and meet new girls when school starts again but right now I don't have any girls to talk to. I don't know which one you are talking about thats "giving me all the indications".
I get what you mean by me needing more courage and needing to just go talk to girls. I agree completely on that. Honestly, I should have done a lot better this year with girls than I did. A lot of girls showed interest in me and I did nothing about it. I wasn't over my oneitis and honestly I don't think I'm over her now. I know that I need to meet a new girl and I will forget about the other one. I need to get over my approach anxiety. I'm going into my senior year so I'm going to have a dont give a fvck attitude because I won't see most of these people again. My confidence is pretty high right now because I'm making good progress in the gym and I look good. I just need to use that confidence to talk to more girls. Anyway, thanks for the reply man.

 

[amazingswayze]

ahh, senior year...

I still have goals to talk to girls and meet new girls when school starts again but right now I don't have any girls to talk to. I don't know which one you are talking about thats "giving me all the indications".
I get what you mean by me needing more courage and needing to just go talk to girls. I agree completely on that. Honestly, I should have done a lot better this year with girls than I did. A lot of girls showed interest in me and I did nothing about it. I wasn't over my oneitis and honestly I don't think I'm over her now. I know that I need to meet a new girl and I will forget about the other one. I need to get over my approach anxiety. I'm going into my senior year so I'm going to have a dont give a fvck attitude because I won't see most of these people again. My confidence is pretty high right now because I'm making good progress in the gym and I look good. I just need to use that confidence to talk to more girls. Anyway, thanks for the reply man.

senior year ends in the blink of an eye.

attend the senior events. make the most out of what your school has to offer. don't fall victim to senioritis, but still have fun. there is a way you can balance this out.

most importantly, have fun. girls dont have to be the focus. you have so much time to grow.

do you.

good luck brother.

 

[defensiveend96]

senior year ends in the blink of an eye.

attend the senior events. make the most out of what your school has to offer. don't fall victim to senioritis, but still have fun. there is a way you can balance this out.

most importantly, have fun. girls dont have to be the focus. you have so much time to grow.

do you.

good luck brother.

Thanks for the reply man.

Girls arent my number 1 focus this year. My main focus is football and then figuring out what I want to do after high school.But I do need to improve with girls and I will work on that too. I should go to more school events, I haven't been taking advantage of them in the past years.

 

[defensiveend96]

Life has been rough lately. I injured myself while running and it's very doubtful I will be able to play football for the first four weeks. I'm really upset about it but I am going back to the doctor tomorrow to see if there is anything he can do. Football was the main reason I was excited for school, it was the reason I started lifting, and now I might not be able to play half the season. I'll update when I get word from the doctor.

 

[defensiveend96]

Great news today. The doctor told me to go to a physiotherapist and recommended me one in town. So I met with the physiotherapist and he said that my injury should be good to go in time for football as long as I rest it and ice it. He also gave me a few stretching exercises to do for it.

I am pretty excited for school now that I know I can play football. I will update on the first day of school.

 

[defensiveend96]

Just finished up the second week of school. It's definitely not going as I planned. I don't want to come off as whiny in this post but I really need to get all my thought down and get some advice.

There isn't any attractive single girls in any of my classes and I haven't noticed any girls I want to date giving me any signs of interest. And I still think about my oneitis, I still look over to she if shes looking at me and I still wonder if she likes me anymore. I want to forget about her but it is nearly impossible. I've tried talking to other girls but I just end up nexting those girls. I'm honestly considering disregarding girls overall in high school as they haven't done any good so far for me. Thinking about which girls I want to date and pursuing them and all that crap has taken up so much of my time and just made me feel like sh!t in the end.

I re aggravated my injury in football and now I wont be playing for a while. I'm really down about this. All I want to do is play football. After high school I won't get to play ever again.

School is awful. Every class is extremely boring and we are learning completely useless things. The teachers even tell us that what we are learning will not matter after high school. I hate sitting in class "learning" useless things when I could be doing a lot better things with that time.

I really dislike high school overall. I can't wait until it is over. It seems like there is nothing at school that can benefit me. Again I know it sounds like I'm just complaining but I really need some advice on how I can improve my life. The last month has been really bad and I don't see it getting better over the school year.

 

[amazingswayze]

find happiness elsewhere. i know this kid from my school who got injured senior year. he couldn't play football anymore so he started making music. now he produces beats, and he has friends come over and record in his studio.

you can't think so much about girls. once you are truly happy, getting girls will become an afterthought. you need to be firing on all cylinders.

i'm not feeling as good as i once was, but i'm still happy.

when i rapped at the talent show, and i started going to church, every waking moment i spent on this earth i felt like a beacon of light.

you just have to achieve this certain vibe, and once you are truly happy, you won't even care so much about girls. the little things won't bother you, and you'll realize that girls are just little things.

find something besides football.

case closed.

 

[defensiveend96]

find happiness elsewhere. i know this kid from my school who got injured senior year. he couldn't play football anymore so he started making music. now he produces beats, and he has friends come over and record in his studio.

you can't think so much about girls. once you are truly happy, getting girls will become an afterthought. you need to be firing on all cylinders.

i'm not feeling as good as i once was, but i'm still happy.

when i rapped at the talent show, and i started going to church, every waking moment i spent on this earth i felt like a beacon of light.

you just have to achieve this certain vibe, and once you are truly happy, you won't even care so much about girls. the little things won't bother you, and you'll realize that girls are just little things.

find something besides football.

case closed.

Thanks for the reply swayze. I've got 2 things besides football that make me happy. The first one is weightlifting, which is pretty obvious, and the second one is cars. I really like learning about and working on old muscle cars and classic cars. When I'm older and have some more money, I want to restore an old muscle car. I'm really considering going to college as a mechanic as it is really interesting me right now.

Speaking of school, I think I have senioritis. I don't care about the classes I'm taking and I don't see the point of what I'm learning. Some of my teachers straight up said that the stuff we are learning won't matter after this year. I really just want to be done high school. I'm almost an adult and yet I spend 6 hours a day sitting in a chair listening to some lard ass ramble about something that doesn't matter. I just feel like I could be doing a lot more with my time instead of sitting in school all day. I know education is important, but I really hate school and I am unmotivated to try in class. I think its because I am uninterested in the things we are learning. If I was being taught something I'm passionate about, I would like school a lot more.

I started nofap again as I think it will help my confidence and self esteem. I'm a week or so into it and I feel pretty good. I really want to get laid though. Does anyone here have any experiences with nofap? How has it worked for you guys? I feel its giving me the motivation to go and talk to girls instead of just fapping over them.

I had a phone interview for a job and I thought I did pretty good but after the lady asked me a few questions she just said thanks and goodbye. I don't get it. She never said if she would call back or anything. I'll admit I was pretty nervous during the interview and I probably sounded nervous, but I still think I did good enough to get the job.

Workouts are going great as always. I'm getting leaner and stronger. I used to work out with a good friend of mine but now hes just gotten lazy and doesn't want to lift anymore. I keep trying to convince him to start lifting again but he won't budge.

Thats pretty much it. I want to talk to some girls tomorrow and hopefully get some action soon.