defensiveend96 JOURNAL

[defensiveend96]

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Crystal is really confusing me. When we talk in person, she shows tons of signs of liking me and being interested and all that. She is pretty shy but I notice her trying to get really close to me. I sit next to her in class and she always kicks her legs out from nuder her desk and puts them right near mine. Also when I sit down next to her, her entire body shifts towards me and she tries to get my attention. So yeah, she likes me. I also got her number, not sure if I mentioned that before. I told her I had a new phone and she was all excited and then I asked for her number and she was really happy that I did. Now for the part that is confusing. I texted her today with a little inside joke that we have together. Anyway it showed that she read it but she never replied. I am really confused why she wouldn't reply. And now I am not sure how to proceed because I am really confused. I really do think that she likes me but I don't know why she wouldn't text back. Also I noticed her staring at me in class today but I didn't talk to her because we had a test. So I am wondering if I should text her again and if so when should I? Or should I just not text her and wait to talk in person after spring break?

Speaking of spring break, I need to find a way to make mine interesting. I was thinking of going to meet girls but I am not sure where I could meet quality girls around my age. I am definitely going to go outside a lot, whether it be to meet girls, hang out with buds, play sports, or just to walk. I love being outside.

I was too chicken and I didn't ask Crystal out this week. And I wont be able to see her during the break as she is going to England to see family. I over think way to much on my date ideas. I thought about asking her out for coffee but then I think that thats too cheap. I dont know why but I am way too nervous to ask her out. I have to fix this. I keep beating myself up about it and its getting annoying. I just have to go and do it. Even when I was asking for her number I was crazy nervous. I am going to fix this over the break. I think that my main problem is that when I am about to ask her out, I keep thinking that she is going to say no or that she doesn't like me. I just gotta do it. F*ck the outcome.

One thing I have noticed with girls is that when I give them a lot of attention at first and their interest levels get pretty high and then I start being indifferent to them their interest levels go through the roof. An example would be with this one girl in my science class. We were lab partners and I thought she was cute so I started putting the charm on her and she showed many signs of liking me. One day though she was kinda pissing me off so I withdrew a lot of the attention I was giving her. The result was her staring at me in class a lot, doing many things to get my attention, and then when I started to give her attention again she was crazy for me. One question I have would be should I use this a lot or only when I need to raise her interest level? I am thinking of trying this on Crystal but I would like advice on it. Thats all the updates for now. I will probably update this again halfway through the break.

 

[LearningSlowly]

So here's the thing with Crystal. You weren't texting with a purpose, you were using small talk. My best advice with texting is, make it something that will change reality. Express a way you want her to act, or ask her on a date.

For example, tell her you like how jeans/dresses/leggings look on her and see if she wears them. That, or just ASK HER ON A DATE. Either one of those declares that youre interested. If you dont act awkward and be consistent that you are interested, itll be fine.

Here's the thing about science class girl. Watch out being reactive like that. If you give off negative reactions to a girl she might be thinking "So he doesnt like me after all..."

Keep on your own path I guess. Keep working.

 

[defensiveend96]

Hey thanks man! This makes perfect sense now. I think I will use one of your examples but I really want to force myself to ask her out in person because I am nervous to do it but I know I am going to have to ask girls out in person a lot in my life.

 

[GetBetter]

Hey LearningSlowly thanks for advice man! I restrict myself showing too much interest in the girl or show too much being busy. But I have question, won't showing interest in girl make her think that we need her and she might play us?

On the second note I think whatever you said makes sense... You show interest in her, as an attention *****(like all girls) she will make moves to keep getting attention?
______________________________________________________________

And defensiveend96, dude you are doing great! I are the one who is climbing ladder the fastest among all the the new Juans here who have started Journal - Me, Milks, Bookworm and Watawata etc.

So I was thinking how about we both decide daily goals related to girls to talk daily etc and accomplish that together?

Good luck buddy!

 

[defensiveend96]

Thanks GetBetter. I like your idea but how do you propose we accomplish them together? We could make a big list of goals each and then accomplish them and keep track of it. Let me know what you think.

Updates....
-Training for football is going good. I've gotten a lot faster
-I need to work on a few of my grades. Probably gonna get some studying done during the break
-Guitar playing is going good. I love it.
-I need money. I'm flat broke. I want to ask Crystal out but I have no money to go anywhere. I was thinking of asking her on a "study" date which would basically be me and her getting together to study but I am not sure how I would ask that and how it would go down. I also thought about showing her how to play guitar because I have gotten a lot better at it since I started. But then I think it might be awkward to go over to her house on the first date and have to meet her parents. Maybe I am over thinking this but all suggestions are appreciated.

 

[GetBetter]

Thanks GetBetter. I like your idea but how do you propose we accomplish them together? We could make a big list of goals each and then accomplish them and keep track of it. Let me know what you think.

Set daily goals for each other - Be it prank, approach, getting weird. And then judging yourself or let other judge you? That way our social anxieties will vanish. How will it vanish? I personally know where I might go wrong or weak and thus set goals which are attainable for me so if you give me a goal I'll have to do it and thus I'll get over anxiety. I hope this will work the same way for you too.

And I say, how about we give something that will be fun yet challenging. Like getting somewhere and dance crazy or go to a stranger and do random thing!

 

[defensiveend96]

Set daily goals for each other - Be it prank, approach, getting weird. And then judging yourself or let other judge you? That way our social anxieties will vanish. How will it vanish? I personally know where I might go wrong or weak and thus set goals which are attainable for me so if you give me a goal I'll have to do it and thus I'll get over anxiety. I hope this will work the same way for you too.

And I say, how about we give something that will be fun yet challenging. Like getting somewhere and dance crazy or go to a stranger and do random thing!

Alright, I like it. I honestly don't have really any social anxiety but something I need to work on is not being hesitant with girls. I tend to hesitate because of nerves and fear. In the end I get over my fear and do it but I still don't like being hesitant. I like this idea a lot. Its definitely going to help. When do you think we should start? I won't be at school this week because of spring break but next week will work.

 

[Watawata]

I like that idea GetBetter, but I think it should be more usefull drills/exercices, like the ones in the bootcamp. We could start this weekend, when Il have more time. Spring break is coming in 3 weeks so thats going to be the best time to do it, but we can start sooner.

 

[defensiveend96]

Spring break is going good. Played sports with friends yesterday which was a lot of fun. We also tried to imitate some of the stunts from jackass. It was hilarious but we also realized how stupid we were. One of the stunts was trying to jump a small creek with our bikes. We all got soaked but it was still a lot of fun. Most of my friends like to stay inside and play video games so it was good to actually do stuff outside which is what I love doing. After I left the creek I started walking home and this girl, I'm assuming she was around 20 or so, got off a bus right in front of me and when she walked past me she gave me a big smile. I was kind of shocked because most people don't do that in my town but it made me feel pretty good. Then I decided to see what would happen if I smiled at the next cute girl I saw. So I kept walking and I saw this girl, about a 7.5, and I smiled at her and she smiled back and said hi kinda shy like. So ultimately yesterday was really good. I had a lot of fun and learned some new stuff too. I am definitely going to smile more at girls around school. Hopefully I wont come off as a creep though.

I was checking my phone a few minutes ago and I looked at Crystal's contact page thingy and her status says that she isn't going away for the break anymore because the trip was cancelled. So I have been pondering if I should ask her out right away or just text her. And how should I start the text? My main problem is that I keep thinking that I am not good enough or that she doesn't want to date me. I don't know why I keep thinking this.

I am stuck inside today as my parents want me to do homework. I am going to play some guitar after I finish and probably do an upper body workout. I really gotta stop procrastinating with school thought.

 

[defensiveend96]

Well, spring break is pretty much over now. It was a good one.

I texted Crystal yesterday and we chatted for about half an hour. It turns out that she rescheduled her trip so she will be gone for a bit. It sucks because I was gonna ask her if she wanted to hang out today. She was being really flirty over text, using emoticons and that kinda stuff. It seemed she was really happy that I texted her too. I might text her during next week to see how her trip is going.

I am thinking about starting meditation to help me relax after a long day because I can never sleep when there is a million thoughts going through my head and I think meditation will help me relax.

School starts again in a few days. I will probably update on the first day back.

 

[Tudeeee]

Hey man, good to see you're keeping up with your journal! I did not with mine, but I have made a progress nonetheless.

As for meditation: Definitely start doing it! Don't view it just as a way to relax though, meditation can do so much for you both physically and spiritually (sounds weird but it's true, although I am actually not a spiritual guy either). I can only speak for myself but although meditating before bed sounds good in theory it doesn't work in my opinion because you will be often really tired and only see it as a hassle before you can sleep. Just try it out for yourself.

As for Crystal being flirty over text: Don't make too much of it. She could really mean it, but this could also just be "her" way of texting so don't overthink it. Just hang out with her and see where things go. Judge by actions not words (you've heard this a bunch of times, but just wanted to put it out there).

Last but not least, texting is fine, but you might think about just calling her to ask her to hang out or ask her in person. I don't know about the US but here in germany calling works really well, for numerous reasons. In addition, it makes you stand out because you're "that" guy that calls (could be positive or negative).

 

[NorwegianDJ]

You cant start meditation tomorrow. start now.

 

[GetBetter]

@defensiveend96 and Watawata: Let's start from tomorrow(its already night here)!

I think our first challenge to each other should be read each others' journals and find out what we lack at the moment and then give each other pranks to overcome that? However, we should get to that step by step; like do a small prank to get rid of hesitance and then doing bigger pranks eventually to completely eradicate it?

Challenge:
Day 1. Smile at 10 girls in a day! And let me know the reaction!
Day 2: Meditate at least 3 days in a row, for 15 minutes!
Day 3: Play act as a needy 'nice guy' infront of a girl you don't like.
Day 4: Do this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOLVHuxtnWc&list=UUZ__vn_T9SK44jcM85rnt4A

That's all I could think of for now. Challenge me now!

 

[defensiveend96]

@defensiveend96 and Watawata: Let's start from tomorrow(its already night here)!

I think our first challenge to each other should be read each others' journals and find out what we lack at the moment and then give each other pranks to overcome that? However, we should get to that step by step; like do a small prank to get rid of hesitance and then doing bigger pranks eventually to completely eradicate it?

Challenge:
Day 1. Smile at 10 girls in a day! And let me know the reaction!
Day 2: Meditate at least 3 days in a row, for 15 minutes!
Day 3: Play act as a needy 'nice guy' infront of a girl you don't like.
Day 4: Do this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOLVHuxtnWc&list=UUZ__vn_T9SK44jcM85rnt4A

That's all I could think of for now. Challenge me now!

I like your idea of reading each others journals and finding what we are lacking and improving on it but I dont think we need to do pranks to improve. We should just do it. If we want to get better at something then we practice. If we want to be less hesitant then we need to work on seizing opportunities and making the most of every chance. We dont need pranks. I like the smiling and meditation challenges but I dont understand the point of acting like a needy nice guy. If you dont like the girl then why would you waste your time around her and look stupid? Also I dont see the point of the Valentines day thing because Valentines day was a month ago.

I am thinking of asking Crystal out over text when she gets back from her trip. She told me she gets back on the weekend so I am thinking of texting her and seeing if she wants to go out during lunch break at school. What do you guys think about asking girls out over text? I want to ask her out in person but I always get nervous and chicken out.

 

[defensiveend96]

Most of today was pretty good. First the good part.

I had a lot of fun today training for football. I did a lot of cardio and weight lifting. It was really a lot of fun, mostly because I was with friends.

My grades are starting to improve. I got a really good mark on an essay. I am starting to enjoy a lot of classes that I didn't enjoy before. Mostly because the teachers don't seem to hate me anymore haha.

Flirting with girls has become a second nature to me. Its basically instant when I start talking to them. Also this really hot blonde girl kept staring at me and smiling in the hall. I'll get to know her better. She wants me to come see her perform for this talent show thing but I don't have enough time or money. If I see her around I will probably ask how it went. She gets a lot of attention from other guys and shes a couple years older than me so it will be difficult to find time to talk to her. This other girl in my class is showing interest in me too. She seems cool but not really the type of girl for an LTR. Still, I'll talk to her more and see how it goes.

Now for the bad part of the day. I was walking down the hall and one of Crystal's friends came up to me and asked how things are going with her. I said its going good. Then she said that Crystal doesn't like me. Its confusing the hell out of me because I really thought that Crystal liked me. Should I bother believing what her friend said or should I just ask her out? I was actually really angry because I thought Crystal was leading me on but now I just don't know what to think. She seems really into me in person and when we text. If she really did like me why would she tell her friends otherwise? I am f*cking confused.

 

[Watawata]

ask her out

 

[defensiveend96]

ask her out

Yeah I'm thinking that I will talk to her at school and see how interested she is and then ask her out or text her later and ask her. My plan is to ask her out for ice cream so we can walk and talk while eating. I am most likely gonna ask her out over text though cuz I am nervous.

 

[defensiveend96]

Update: Just heard from my friend that one of Crystals friends told him a few weeks ago that she doesn't like me. So this means that 2 of her friends have said that.

 

[RiceandChicken]

Bs. I think you should find out yourself if she likes you or not. Fvck her friends and what their saying. You don't like them. You like the girl their telling you about. Hear it from her herself before you confirm anything.

 

[defensiveend96]

Bs. I think you should find out yourself if she likes you or not. Fvck her friends and what their saying. You don't like them. You like the girl their telling you about. Hear it from her herself before you confirm anything.

This makes sense. But the thing that is bothering me the most is why would she tell her friends that she doesn't like me? I've heard that girls tell their friends who they like.