Here are some tips for building social proof via something known as the Mere- Exposure Effect.
This is the idea that merely sharing one or two warm interactions with someone will make them perceive you in a favourable light. More importantly, imagine walking around a room where you have shared these favourable experience with a number of people in the venue. As you walk around heads will be turning, people will be smiling at you, others will be noticing it. Your propinquity will be increasing tenfold with every person you speak to as the Mere-Exposure Effect travels around the room.
Suddenly you will find yourself in a situation where absolutely everyone in the room is favourable towards you. There will be no one you can't speak to and, if done correctly, a whole bunch of people will be wondering exactly who you are. This can happen in absolutely any location- from a train or bus to a top celebrity nightclub in the best part of town.
There are a number of different techniques that will help you with this.
You can see how with this it would be easy to move around staff in a venue and vibe with them in a nice way. But what about people who aren't predisposed to be nice to you? In these situation it's important to learn the different ways to get new people to be friendly towards you.
First off, don't worry if you get a negative reaction. You're playing a bigger game. People around you are unlikely to notice you receiving a bad reaction, mostly due to the fact that many people are polite in the rebuttals. So just make sure that you leave any interaction in the positive way possible.
A simple phrase such as;
"I'm so sorry to have upset you, I was only looking to have a conversation with someone new, I hope I havn't offended you and that you have a great night."
Naturally you would prefer to have a whole bunch of perfect interactions, but there's just no way of knowing whether a given interaction will always go well. Obviously, the more your mere exposure and propinquity you build up the better responses you will get. So the trick is trying to make sure the earlier ones go as well as possible until you have the required level of social proof to be able to vibe with the entire room.
There are a number of different ways to begin speaking to people. Whatever you decide to use ultimately, there are two things to bare in mind. 1) Try not to be threatening initially, and 2) try to add value to everyone you meet.
The first point is pretty self explanatory. After all, you're trying to have a number of positive interactions with those around you. The second may not be so self explanatory. When you go out for a party, or to do your shopping or whatever you want to do, you have a number of things planned in your head that you want to acheive, you do not want someone hassling you or preventing you from acheiving those things. Essentially you are not looking for someone to interfere or lower the value of what you are doing.
So bare this in mind when speaking to new people, value can be added in many ways, from adding fun and interesting conversation, to giving compliments, to just being the social hub of the party bringing that vibe to the people. Either way remember you're approaching them so try to be courteous, yet there's no harm in being fun and a bit flirtatious.
Remember you don't initially want to spend too much time talking to the people, esspecially if you are likely to be around for a while, i.e. in a restaurant, coffee shop, long journey or a nightclub. Allow the first interaction to end quickly, ideally on a positive high note, then you can move on talk to a few other people, and then go back to them later for an even better reaction.
With that in mind here are a number of quick ways to get some conversations started;
"Does this train lead to (insert destination here)...Thank you so much for that, I got on in such a rush I didn't bother checking"
"You know that food looks great, It's definately what I'd have normally. Though today I'm being brave, what should I try?"
"Is this the only dancefloor here?"
"Does it ever get busier here?"
"Wow I love that jacket, it really works with the handbag you have and everything. I had to stop you and tell you, it's rare to see someone accessorise so well"
"Why do crowds have to be so full of people? Wouldn't it be easier if this was just a private road? You could have that part, and I could have this bit"
These are all really simple ways of getting a small vibe going with the people around you. Then simply move around the area, having occasional conversations with people until eventually you have built up enough positive reactions that everyone in the room/area has been spoken to.
Then it is time to move back round and re-speak to the ones you want to actually have a conversation with and begin building some form of connection with them.
Building social proof can significantly improve your results in a single night! Which is why here is so much attention given to it.
