MakeMeHappy said:
You guys pointed out good the problem, the vibe. I really feel it, i don't transmit the right vibe when aproaching and stuff.
Do you guys know good ways i can improve myself?
I'll make a recommendation that worked wonders for me. Listen to or read some of Nathaniel Branden's material on self-esteem. I'm no superstar DJ, not by a longshot, but what Branden's stuff did for me was help me feel completely comfortable with myself to the point where today I have no qualms whatsoever about going out to clubs by myself and meeting new people and, as others have put it, "vibing" with them. My downfall is approach anxiety. I have HUGE anxiety over this, that I have not yet been able to overcome. Nevertheless, for the first time in my life I am able to believe that I can overcome it. Previously, I used to read other people's advice or their experiences and tell myself, yeah, maybe that stuff applies to THEM, but my situation is unique, so it could never apply to ME -- I'm just uniquely hopeless. Doesn't sound like much, but for me, even the simple step of overcoming such limited thinking feels a massive (lifelong) burden has been lifted from my shoulders.
Google around for Branden's work. You don't have to buy into all his claims about self-esteem. Just use what works. If the term "self-esteem" bothers you (as it apparently bothers some), don't even think of it in those terms. Just do the exercises. Things like his sentence completion exercises worked like magic in opening my eyes to the disempowering beliefs I had about myself (and to replacing them with more appropriate ones). Since I first began doing this, I can honestly say I have filled the "holes" that I thought I had in my life. Nowadays I just WANT to have fun with girls, and eventually marry and have children. But I no longer feel desperate about it, like I'm somehow "less than" for this part of my life being a work in progress rather than a completed project.
If this doesn't strike you as related to your problem then please ignore this post.
) things started to go my way. now i'm on top of the WORLD! i got money. i am going out sarging each week. things are happening.