Deceased Chicks

[Desdinova]

A bunch of people on my FB have been posting RIP messages about some chick. Since I hang out with a lot of people with the same interest, I figured I'd click on the link to her FB and see if I knew her. I did...

About 6 years ago when I had to terminate my affair, I needed to find a new place to hang out. I found another location and got to know a few of the locals. She was one of them. She was certainly attractive enough that I was interested in her. One of my turn-offs about her was that she was a smoker. I had started conversing with her and it was apparent she was interested in me. However, I ran into some issues with the people who worked there and ended up never returning. I never forgot about this chick and she always kinda stuck in the back of my mind.

She died a few days ago of brain cancer at age 36.

This may sound fvcking awful, but I'm glad I never got involved with her. I've never dated a chick who's died, and don't really want to experience it - at least not soon.

Anybody here ever go through it?

 

[hithard]

One via car crash(dating), one with cancer(dating) and another suicide(previous relationship/friend). When its quick, for me it was easier to get over. They just suddenly disappear from your life. The one I dated with cancer ..... I'm kind of lost for words. I have a habit of always looking forward, so when I do look back it often feels like parts of my past were just a dream.

I met B through friends. A really down to earth, funny, pretty girl next door looks and very relaxed. We were about 2 months in when she started having more serious trouble with her stomach (blockages, can't eat). She had been having issues previously. But nothing major. So off she goes to the doctor and I go off to business.

When I get back she had her parents and friends there. I knew the score straight away that this was bad. She had 3 months if lucky. That night she told me "if you want to leave thats ok".
One thing I do well is deal with problems. I'm a "fixer" by nature. I had already thought the whole thing through and knew what I was in for.

For the next 2 and a bit months I put her on that "pedestal" and became the ultimate beta provider. I really strengthened the emotional connection, wrapped her family and friends around us and made sure we packed as much living and laughter around her appointments. At one point she sat me down and told me "I have never been this happy or felt so loved".

She went downhill pretty fast. That final morning was a killer. Sitting next to her bed holding her hand. Her parents were by the bedside, mother crying. There was an intensity in the room so thick I was literally choking, it felt like a weight bearing down on me.

There were no poignant last words.... she just left. You kind of crash inside while outwardly try and keep it together. When her father looked at me and broke down, I crumbled.

But you take the good with the bad in life. My ultimate goal was not some miracle cure. But to ensure she felt loved and was as happy as you could be in that circumstance. Would I want to go through that again, no. But you never know whats on the cards.

I have never wanted to live "safe" or comfortable. Personally I like the full range life offers.

 

[Malcontent]

When I was about 29, I hooked up a few days with an 18 year old. I looked her up on fb a few months ago and found she has been dead for some time. From the cryptic messages on the wall about her death, it sounds like suicide. Good looking gal. Crazy as f--k and wild. I remember feeling ill when she talked. Her topics of interest were usually about planning a robbery or becoming a porn star. Too deviant for me.

 

[mangotot]

People come people go, that's life I am afraid. Someone could be young and still perish. Life goes on.

 

[hithard]

Life goes on.

Bingo

If you dwell too much on the past, then you pretty much stay at that point.

 

[Desdinova]

For the next 2 and a bit months I put her on that "pedestal" and became the ultimate beta provider. I really strengthened the emotional connection, wrapped her family and friends around us and made sure we packed as much living and laughter around her appointments. At one point she sat me down and told me "I have never been this happy or felt so loved".

That's something I've never thought about... In that kind of a situation, there are no "is she flirting with other guys" situations. The end line has been drawn, and there's no man after you. You are the final man in her life and the only one she can cherish for the rest of her days. Good on you for taking the "beta" route in that situation. At that point, there's no reason to play games, no reason to focus on what an alpha would do, etc. The focus is to bring as much pleasure to her as seemingly possible in the time she has left.

That's one hell of a sobering thought.

 

[Epimanes]

@hithard ... Good on you man. Top props... You put your ego aside.. Your **** away, thought with your big head and put selfishness away to make someones last days as pleasant as they possibly could.

That was one of the best things I read on this site and a sign that there is humanity left in people. Reminds me of that movie "The fault in our stars". Wow man... I'm just floored and speechless at the honour you gave her and the respect you gave her family. They will NEVER forget what you did for their daughter. .... Wow... Just wow.

Epi

 

[Tenacity]

That's something I've never thought about... In that kind of a situation, there are no "is she flirting with other guys" situations. The end line has been drawn, and there's no man after you. You are the final man in her life and the only one she can cherish for the rest of her days. Good on you for taking the "beta" route in that situation. At that point, there's no reason to play games, no reason to focus on what an alpha would do, etc. The focus is to bring as much pleasure to her as seemingly possible in the time she has left.

That's one hell of a sobering thought.

Isn't it strange that the only time when an American woman these days will PREFER a Beta Male Personality, is when she's damn near dead ?

 

[Epimanes]

Women like balance... Of both beta traits and alpha traits executed at the right time.

 

[exhausted]

One via car crash(dating), one with cancer(dating) and another suicide(previous relationship/friend). When its quick, for me it was easier to get over. They just suddenly disappear from your life. The one I dated with cancer ..... I'm kind of lost for words. I have a habit of always looking forward, so when I do look back it often feels like parts of my past were just a dream.

I met B through friends. A really down to earth, funny, pretty girl next door looks and very relaxed. We were about 2 months in when she started having more serious trouble with her stomach (blockages, can't eat). She had been having issues previously. But nothing major. So off she goes to the doctor and I go off to business.

When I get back she had her parents and friends there. I knew the score straight away that this was bad. She had 3 months if lucky. That night she told me "if you want to leave thats ok".
One thing I do well is deal with problems. I'm a "fixer" by nature. I had already thought the whole thing through and knew what I was in for.

For the next 2 and a bit months I put her on that "pedestal" and became the ultimate beta provider. I really strengthened the emotional connection, wrapped her family and friends around us and made sure we packed as much living and laughter around her appointments. At one point she sat me down and told me "I have never been this happy or felt so loved".

She went downhill pretty fast. That final morning was a killer. Sitting next to her bed holding her hand. Her parents were by the bedside, mother crying. There was an intensity in the room so thick I was literally choking, it felt like a weight bearing down on me.

There were no poignant last words.... she just left. You kind of crash inside while outwardly try and keep it together. When her father looked at me and broke down, I crumbled.

But you take the good with the bad in life. My ultimate goal was not some miracle cure. But to ensure she felt loved and was as happy as you could be in that circumstance. Would I want to go through that again, no. But you never know whats on the cards.

I have never wanted to live "safe" or comfortable. Personally I like the full range life offers.

Beta nothing, you stood up like a man and put the hurt and fear on your shoulders and provided love and support to her and her whole family.
Well done, much respect.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

One via car crash(dating), one with cancer(dating) and another suicide(previous relationship/friend). When its quick, for me it was easier to get over. They just suddenly disappear from your life. The one I dated with cancer ..... I'm kind of lost for words. I have a habit of always looking forward, so when I do look back it often feels like parts of my past were just a dream.

I met B through friends. A really down to earth, funny, pretty girl next door looks and very relaxed. We were about 2 months in when she started having more serious trouble with her stomach (blockages, can't eat). She had been having issues previously. But nothing major. So off she goes to the doctor and I go off to business.

When I get back she had her parents and friends there. I knew the score straight away that this was bad. She had 3 months if lucky. That night she told me "if you want to leave thats ok".
One thing I do well is deal with problems. I'm a "fixer" by nature. I had already thought the whole thing through and knew what I was in for.

For the next 2 and a bit months I put her on that "pedestal" and became the ultimate beta provider. I really strengthened the emotional connection, wrapped her family and friends around us and made sure we packed as much living and laughter around her appointments. At one point she sat me down and told me "I have never been this happy or felt so loved".

She went downhill pretty fast. That final morning was a killer. Sitting next to her bed holding her hand. Her parents were by the bedside, mother crying. There was an intensity in the room so thick I was literally choking, it felt like a weight bearing down on me.

There were no poignant last words.... she just left. You kind of crash inside while outwardly try and keep it together. When her father looked at me and broke down, I crumbled.

But you take the good with the bad in life. My ultimate goal was not some miracle cure. But to ensure she felt loved and was as happy as you could be in that circumstance. Would I want to go through that again, no. But you never know whats on the cards.

I have never wanted to live "safe" or comfortable. Personally I like the full range life offers.

Well done. Great post with relevant info for this forum. You did a good thing, I don't see it as beta at all...

I know the feeling. Losing someone close to you, especially when they're young,mis damn hard. It grew me up very quickly.

You're 'a long time dead' I say.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Good man hithard, its hell on earth going out if you don't have someone at your side. Be there done that. My wife was holding my hand and singing to me the whole way when the black came, its her voice that pulled me out... I'm sure your friend appreciated it more than you could ever know. At least its nice that you have a good friend waiting for you on the other side.

Props to you bud, you deserve a good life in return.