Debate on Dealing with emotions

[MisterSisterFister]

So as I am sitting here stewing because I have obviously fell deep into AFCism for a chick it brings me to think...

Alot of the tips I see on here are mearly distractions while working out and extending your list of hobbies is great you are not neccesarily dealing with the problem at hand. I work out, I work hard and have a huge list of hobbies and things to do... But I find myself still stewing and not fully enjoying most of them...

How do we deal with this feeling? Because if we just ignore it, it will probably
come back again to bite us in the @ss... Now this is a debate I am not TELLING or ADVISING this is just an idea or whats floating around in my brain.

Do we work on meditiation to control our brain better and start analyzing the emotion and trying to get a better grip on it and understand and accept it. Try to analyze it and realise there is still the future and it will be gone eventually?

If we fix this will we just go cold? How can we stop the weakness and the pain...

A while ago I had a GF we had been dating for years. We were having an important conversation and she just stopped texting. I gave it a couple hours and then sent a ? mark and she sent back ooops he he I forgot to text you back ignoring the conversation in total....

So I am pissed so trying to treat this as a math problem how did we get to pissed? Going back from the result, I took it as an insult and to be insulted from somone I loved and cared about hurt and being hurt I realised I was not very high on her priority list if she "forgot" which hurt to and hurt lead to angry and reliving all the possibilities of me yelling or conversating or how to deal with the answer...But does analyzing help?

Or do we just look at it from a more basic view knowing that really emotions are based on a chemical reaction from our brain most likely for survival reasons and just make sure to keep reminding ourselves that.

But why does one date a woman or whatnot not caring at first and then all of the sudden the roles switch and you start caring soo much and she does not so now your not as smooth and think to much and actually making your problems much worse....

Its crazy and its all jumbled but it was in my head had to get it out...

 

[Skalioppe]

That's the dynamics of relationships...

When you change from Alpha "pah couldn't really give a sh1t" to "over-thinking, emotional and hurting" b1tch with a women then they start doing the polar opposite. It's all thanks to those happy, clappy neuro transmitters : dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and the dynamics of push pull.

Treat a woman like sh1t and she'll become obsessed with you, text you every moment of the day, make you a steak sandwich with love and care, get you an ice cold European beer and deliver it to you on a tray wearing a Playboy bunny costume with a smile if you wish, then gladly suck and worship your c0ck as you neck it all. She'll keep doing that until the day you start being nice to her, showing her more affection than indifferent "couldn't give a ****ness", that's when she feels she's broken you and trained you. Then you're no longer a challenge to her, no longer the b@stard Alpha she wants to serve and who's c0ck she wants to sit on.

Your woman ignored your text because you started to care too much and have showed it. Because you became like a woman - emotional.

Simple fact is, women are programmed to be attracted to unemotional bast@rds - i.e. Alpha men. Sorry dude, her ignoring your text is a huge warning.... your woman is already looking for new c0ck, I'd bet good money on it.

 

[MisterSisterFister]

Your post is a hot mess. But let me give you some advice.

1. It's okay to feel lousy. Let it happen. Yes have hobbies and distractions, but accept that you will feel sad. What you don't want to do is let your emotions control you and make you do stupid things like beg her to come back to you.

2. Understand that one lousy woman isn't the be all end all. Okay you had/have feelings for her, you're human. But you weren't born with her and won't die without her. Laugh it off as best you can and remind yourself that you'll feel better soon; someday you won't care at all.

In other words, stop "controlling" your emotions but have some perspective. Go visit a cancer ward if you need a reminder what real pain is.

Yes it is a hot mess ha ha my brain works like that I just had to get all the thoughts out and hope somone else could piece them together ...

Your woman ignored your text because you started to care too much and have showed it. Because you became like a woman - emotional.

Simple fact is, women are programmed to be attracted to unemotional bast@rds - i.e. Alpha men. Sorry dude, her ignoring your text is a huge warning.... your woman is already looking for new c0ck, I'd bet good money on it.

That example was from the past I am sorry for the confusion I am no longer with that woman and yes she was already on somone elses c0ck.

I am with a new chick and I let her gain control and struggling to regain my composure and get back to how good I was doing. But I am down right now and having a hard time getting back up.

 

[Alvafe]

@samspade

people are selfish, other people pain are not they pain so they don't care, if people cared we would ahve a better place to life on.


most of time you can't control what you feel, the best you can do is hide from people and work on it, if a girl forgot what you are talking or any plans you make, just place her on NC and move on, she really are not interested on you so move on, it will be a pain for some time but after sometime you will forgot and not care (better not care), let the ***** be alone best for you, just think what is best for you not for her.

 

[Cremasta]

Alot of the tips I see on here are mearly distractions while working out and extending your list of hobbies is great you are not neccesarily dealing with the problem at hand. I work out, I work hard and have a huge list of hobbies and things to do... But I find myself still stewing and not fully enjoying most of them...

The good thing about emotional problems is that you only have them if you think you have them. The reason why people will tell you to get out and get busy is that for a short while at least, you will stop thinking about them.

It can take a while depending on what your issue is, but eventually you'll not be thinking about the problem at all... i.e. problem gone!

Don't try to treat it like a math equation, or even logically, that's the wrong side of your brain for this stuff, it just won't work.

Cheers

 

[DonJuanabe]

"I am with a new chick and I let her gain control and struggling to regain my composure and get back to how good I was doing. But I am down right now and having a hard time getting back up."


How so?

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Your post is a hot mess. But let me give you some advice.

1. It's okay to feel lousy. Let it happen. Yes have hobbies and distractions, but accept that you will feel sad. What you don't want to do is let your emotions control you and make you do stupid things like beg her to come back to you.

2. Understand that one lousy woman isn't the be all end all. Okay you had/have feelings for her, you're human. But you weren't born with her and won't die without her. Laugh it off as best you can and remind yourself that you'll feel better soon; someday you won't care at all.

In other words, stop "controlling" your emotions but have some perspective. Go visit a cancer ward if you need a reminder what real pain is.

This is a good post man. I know even when I look at my life and how far I've come, some days I honestly feel like a garbage-bag to be placed on the curb. I think even people who are highly successful have to have days where they just question everything, themselves, or feel they've fallen short.

But you are correct -- put in context and perspective -- as I'm driving in my car surrounded by food and shelter with a healthy body and lamenting women...pretty sappy.

**

Treat a woman like sh1t and she'll become obsessed with you, text you every moment of the day, make you a steak sandwich with love and care, get you an ice cold European beer and deliver it to you on a tray wearing a Playboy bunny costume with a smile if you wish, then gladly suck and worship your c0ck as you neck it all.

-- Sign me up to be an @sshole. :wave:

**

MisterSisterFister -- Yo man I hear you brotha, we all struggle man, its especially hard caring about people when they don't return the favor. I don't know if being an @sshole-supreme is exactly the way to get what you want, but not every chick is going to appreciate you, and you're going to deal with a lot of immature and selfish ones. Unfortunately, this is probably true for many men you might meet in your life too. Sometimes I don't know if it's just a woman thing, but people all-together can be fickle and complex and hard to understand. That's probably why most of the biggest intellectuals are misanthropists (they hate all people). Maybe they ran into too many bad women or were major AFCS and became bitter. But these struggles my man are something we all deal with.

If you are losing frame on your current relationship, people here might be able to help you with some advice.

But all I'm saying is don't be too hard on yourself or try to over-rationalize your past relationships, etc. Learn from your mistakes, but don't over-steep yourself because (as a fellow over-thinker) you don't always get further by revving your gears. Sometimes you just have to accept sh!t to as a part of life, or a random part of life, or a random transition. It's hard to place every situation in life within some greater context of meaning or purpose. You'll kill your brain trying to figure things out that much--I'm not sure you need to to be happy.

Brain chemicals probably have a lot to do with most things. When I'm pissed off I know my brain is pumping out some garbage and I'm high on that anger chemical. When I'm sad it's probably the same thing. Another poster hit it on the head--sometimes changing atmosphere and activity can help switch those mental gears and get the brain to work on making other more useful chemicals. Working out helps me, or getting into nature. Meditation is a way to try and be more aware (aware of your changing emotions / thoughts / etc).

 

[MisterSisterFister]

"I am with a new chick and I let her gain control and struggling to regain my composure and get back to how good I was doing. But I am down right now and having a hard time getting back up."


How so?

I got too complacent and dropped my game and started being more I guess you could say "lovey" towards her which obviously backfired on me. Now I am struggly to regain my composure and take control of this relationship where when I was gaming it was really good.

MisterSisterFister -- Yo man I hear you brotha, we all struggle man, its especially hard caring about people when they don't return the favor. I don't know if being an @sshole-supreme is exactly the way to get what you want, but not every chick is going to appreciate you, and you're going to deal with a lot of immature and selfish ones. Unfortunately, this is probably true for many men you might meet in your life too. Sometimes I don't know if it's just a woman thing, but people all-together can be fickle and complex and hard to understand. That's probably why most of the biggest intellectuals are misanthropists (they hate all people). Maybe they ran into too many bad women or were major AFCS and became bitter. But these struggles my man are something we all deal with.

If you are losing frame on your current relationship, people here might be able to help you with some advice.

But all I'm saying is don't be too hard on yourself or try to over-rationalize your past relationships, etc. Learn from your mistakes, but don't over-steep yourself because (as a fellow over-thinker) you don't always get further by revving your gears. Sometimes you just have to accept sh!t to as a part of life, or a random part of life, or a random transition. It's hard to place every situation in life within some greater context of meaning or purpose. You'll kill your brain trying to figure things out that much--I'm not sure you need to to be happy.

Brain chemicals probably have a lot to do with most things. When I'm pissed off I know my brain is pumping out some garbage and I'm high on that anger chemical. When I'm sad it's probably the same thing. Another poster hit it on the head--sometimes changing atmosphere and activity can help switch those mental gears and get the brain to work on making other more useful chemicals. Working out helps me, or getting into nature. Meditation is a way to try and be more aware (aware of your changing emotions / thoughts / etc).

Thanks man.. Sometimes it just sucks and we have to suck it up and deal with it but even still it still sucks ha ha...