Dealing with tough, independent women

[Matt Rogers]

Ive been chatting online recently to this girl. She is in her late 20s like me. She is really successful in her career, already a manager. She seems to have an active social life with lots of friends and in her words "doesn't need a man".

She complained that men tend to be either too controlling and pushy, or too clingy and needy, and in general she is disappointed with men.

She is very witty and we banter a lot when we talk and she is always has a sharp comeback.

She made the comment that I seem a lot more emotional than her, and her friends say she has a heart of stone.

Oh and she is really hot.

Im meeting her tomorrow but Im not really sure what to make of her. I get the impression a lot of this is a front and probably she has just been hurt in the past. But while chatting to her online it was hard to get past the verbal swordplay and actually connect on any level.

 

[wjh]

Why would you try to connect with her? She sounds like a man in women's clothing. Does she have a square jaw?

These "strong, independent" women who don't "need" men and then complain about how terrible they all are, don't even get attention from me. They're a huge waste of time. Fvcking them becomes a power struggle, and that really doesn't interest me.

Then again, this could be a HUGE sh1t-test, so if you want to bang her, act accordingly. Don't fall into her frame, as it sounds like you may already be doing. I guess you could try having fun with her, exchanging board room war stories or something, if that's your thing.

 

[DMSR76]

Dangerzone, dude. I wouldn't get too emotionally invested in this chick. Any woman that actually verbalizes that she "doesn't need a man", gets checked off my list immediately.

There's always a very good reason why a 'hot chick' is knocking on 30 with no real prospects for relationship. It's because she has major issues. Anytime a woman is described (by her friends, no less) as cold as stone, she has no usefulness to a man. Let's see here.... She's smoking hot and sophisticated, damn near 30 years old, yet she's still hiding and filtering her persona through online dating??? I'd bet you anything that 10 years from now she'll still be smoking hot and sophisticated... and still single.

Try to hit it if you're that curious, but don't waste much effort trying to connect with this broad. She's probably too far gone to be rehabilitated. It sounds like harsh advice, but it may save you some grief. I fear she's drawn you in with some witty banter over (well-controlled) print media. Any well-educated person can mimic 'interesting' over email.

 

[jophil28]

She sounds like a real catch.

Look here Matt.

How many warning signs does she have to send you ?.
This woman is fukked up in a large way. She has already evaluated you as irrelevant to her life because you are male.
I predict that from the first second that she meets you she is going to be grading you NEGATIVELY until the score in her head gets to be 1000 , at which time she is going to email you with some whiny feminist BS about how you are "patriachal" and "oppressively controlling ".
Of course, during the grading process she will take all your attention, and lap up your efforts to pursue her as a huge ego boost and thorougly enjoy the whole process.

However, I get the impression that you will go ahead with this fool's errand anyway because she is HAWT .

You see, you don't really need our warnings do you, she is giving you enough of those directly .

 

[DMSR76]

By the way, if you do try to nail this chick, I hope you enjoy getting bossed around and staying on bottom, LOL. Bound to be the case with this one...

 

[Colossus]

in her words "doesn't need a man"

Then why the hell is she online dating, hmmmmmm?

She complained that men tend to be either too controlling and pushy, or too clingy and needy, and in general she is disappointed with men.

You might as well make a billboard out of this red flag to make it any more obvious.

...she is always has a sharp comeback.

translation: b1tch

She made the comment that I seem a lot more emotional than her, and her friends say she has a heart of stone.

LOL dude you're killing me here...

But while chatting to her online it was hard to get past the verbal swordplay and actually connect on any level.

Definitely burned big time. She probably really, really liked a guy, wanted to get married, and he said no. Now she throws herself into her career, suckling every drop of it's sweet managerial ego juice; yet finds herself curiously disappointed her newfound masculinity is turning men off. So--of course--the men are to blame for not being juuuuust right.

Here's how the date will go: 2 hours of snide ball-busting, cutting sarcasm, and carefully-planned interview questions designed to trip you up and make you look like an as$.

I may be wrong, but brotha I have sailed these waters before!

 

[jophil28]

Definitely burned big time. She probably really, really liked a guy, wanted to get married, and he said no. Now she throws herself into her career, suckling every drop of it's sweet managerial ego juice; yet finds herself curiously disappointed her newfound masculinity is turning men off. So--of course--the men are to blame for not being juuuuust right.

Here's how the date will go: 2 hours of snide ball-busting, cutting sarcasm, and carefully-planned interview questions designed to trip you up and make you look like an as$.

I may be wrong, but brotha I have sailed these waters before!

Matt read this ^^^ at least 50 times before you go to meet her . Memorize the sentence about "..how the date will go ".

 

[sodbuster]

"independant" woman is code for won't listen to a dam^ thing you say. We'd call her a headstrong Bit[h

 

[st_99]

Don't believe the hype. People that KNOW who they are and are completely comfortable with it do not verbalize it. They just are.

I'm sure if she meets a guy she falls for she will be a puppy dog. She's probably just been with a handful of pussies in her day.


yeah, she has soooo many friends and such a great social life she feels the need to get online to finds dates. Ha, good one.

 

[DMSR76]

Surely you jest?

Tell her she's beautiful and you feel lucky to be with her. Be gracious. Be humorous. Be a gentleman.

This is the way to treat women.

Dude... LMFAO!!!!!!!!

 

[Hemingway]

carefully-planned interview questions designed to trip you up and make you look like an as$.

Think of this as a practice session. Dial down your expectations, and dial up your game.

 

[Matt Rogers]

She hasn't been *****y at all. Its not so much insulting each other, just friendly teasing/flirting. She seems like a really sweet girl deep down, but like you all said she has definite issues with men and because of this is probably undateable.

But yeah I agree it seems to be a front and she has probably been hurt before and just closed off to men.

From what you've told me she doesn't sound at all like relationship material, and probably too much effort to bang.

I've already arranged the date and Im not in the habit of breaking dates. So I will just have some fun with it.

 

[Warrior74]

Sounds like every other black woman I know. And they wonder why they are all over 30 and single raising Ray Ray's kids.

Let me tell you about Ray Ray. Ray Ray is that dude they love, because he never gave a F about what she wanted. As long as she was on the team, doing right by him he gave her attention...but when she tried to step out of bounds...he dropped her, kid and all. She'll never let herself be hurt like that again and won't trust again, and will sh1t test and ball bust till the day she dies....but she will always love Ray Ray. He could show up tomorrow and be hitting it by sundown. While you'll be putting up with her crap and wondering what she means by what she says.

Now to go nerdy...Frank Herbert said, "The haughty do but build castle walls behind which they try to hide their doubts and fears" That should give you some insight on how to deal with those types.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

So I will just have some fun with it.

I used to play racquetball with a friend of mine that would always beat me. I played him not because I thought I ever had a chance of winning, but I knew that it increased my skills so I could be better when I played other guys.

Use her as a a skill sharpening exercise, nothing else. Being able to respond to a woman's bullshyt in realtime without losing your cool, and making yourself good in the process is a powerful skill to have.

I'd draw the line if she pulls out a strapon, though.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Matt,
I had one like this as a dance partner once....Knew from the start she would make me unhappy and she did.....Even though I desperately needed a partner for a Dance course I had started,I was just so glad to see her go that it was worth it.

 

[picard]

I went out with a chick for a dinner date once. she had the same attitude that women don't need men. She had a arrogant attitude. I assumed she had to be a lesbian.

In short, I didn't want to meet her again. Her attitude turn me off.

 

[Ballie]

Got this from my GF thats apt from some feminest rant

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle 'anything'

My reply to that was:

Typical feministic attitude to prettify a male derogatory word for a woman that is:

B Bloody
I Irritating
T Tiring
C Cow
H and a Harpy

 

[Blue Phoenix]

She complained that men tend to be either too controlling and pushy, or too clingy and needy, and in general she is disappointed with men. She is very witty and we banter a lot when we talk and she is always has a sharp comeback. She made the comment that I seem a lot more emotional than her, and her friends say she has a heart of stone.

Well, be careful, actually she may be exactly that: Emotional, controlling, pushy and is blaming (projecting) that on men. She´s disappointed with men because she either has distorted expectations about them, maybe wanting them to be submissve; or doesn´t know what what she wants anyway. Or even, they´ve been dumped for misbehavior.

I´ve met a girl who said that her ex-BF was possessive and jealous of her nephews. Later, I could see it was her who had these traits.

These strong independent women tend to be very narcissistic and despise emotions as they are cold-hearted, they also love to lead/control. So tread with caution...

 

[squirrels]

Ive been chatting online recently to this girl. She is in her late 20s like me. She is really successful in her career, already a manager. She seems to have an active social life with lots of friends and in her words "doesn't need a man".

She complained that men tend to be either too controlling and pushy, or too clingy and needy, and in general she is disappointed with men.

She is very witty and we banter a lot when we talk and she is always has a sharp comeback.

She made the comment that I seem a lot more emotional than her, and her friends say she has a heart of stone.

Oh and she is really hot.

Im meeting her tomorrow but Im not really sure what to make of her. I get the impression a lot of this is a front and probably she has just been hurt in the past. But while chatting to her online it was hard to get past the verbal swordplay and actually connect on any level.

You can probably get to the sex really easy. If she's got a "heart of stone", her need for emotional attachment probably won't get in the way of fornication...she's probably the type who has "sex for fun".

There's probably some "front" to it...but let it come out on its own. You won't know what to make of her until you start talking to her.

I sense you're already jumping the gun here. It's a FIRST DATE. Do NOT go into this encounter angling for a relationship right off the bat...you don't even know if she's QUALIFIED to be "your woman"...and chances are she doesn't yet WANT to. Just consider it hanging out with another person and having some fun. Don't make drama for yourself.

She complained that men tend to be either too controlling and pushy, or too clingy and needy, and in general she is disappointed with men.

I don't blame her.

BTW, these two are one and the same...two sides of the same coin. Men who are needy also tend to be controlling...they alternate between begging for attention/affection and demanding it.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

She is really successful in her career, already a manager.

Ooooh, a 'manager'? Hot damn, she IS tough and independent! :crackup: