Dealing with the one big regret.

[BlueAlpha1]

I apologize for bringing you all back to the girl who sent you here, but I wanted to hear how men who beat their oneitis deal with the inevitable emotions that come to you from time to time. The anger for all the disrespect, the mistake of remembering "the good", the self directed anger for being such a beta, the regret of losing your innocence one **** test or betrayal at a time. The wasted energy of thoughts of running into her in the future and coming out looking 1000x better than she does...

I would ask all the guys who will come with the "best revenge is living well" schtick to sit this one out because for one it's just stating the obvious (this isn't the NC challenge, we know the deal) and secondly its a fantasy. If youre one of the seemingly many (but actually very few) men who are in 100% control and never feel confused or distracted by women than God Bless and this post isn't for you.

I'm talking to real people here. So how do you react?

 

[PipeDope]

I delete them on all social media, block their number, delete all mutual friends, and go meet new women. You'll rapidly forget about her

 

[Desdinova]

So where the fvck do I fall within this???

The bytch who drove me here has been pursuing me for the last 5 years. I flirt with her, tease her, and then throw it in her face that I'm fvcking someone else. Then she goes away for a year, but she always comes back.

 

[Thundernuts]

Girl that drove me here insulted me for being such a beta. Oh boy did I write her paragraphs of text messages every day and I followed her on Facebook religiously. One day she insulted me and told me to leave her alone. It was after that fateful search of how to get her back that I found SS and made my first post. Iceburg cut me a new one lol. Anyways that's the past now and I can look back and laugh. I ended up hooking up with her after a year of joining this site and the funny thing was all I did was change my attitude a bit just by reading and conversing with people on here.

I am not content with where I am but I'm proud of how much I've learned and been able to apply out in the world. Definately better then .who I was five years ago

 

[yungballa]

This is all useless whining once more, you people need to stop focusing on the past and move on.

Hell i lost 2 houses to 2 different women, my last LTR told me after 9y SHE NEVER LOVED ME after all i did for her she left me for a skinny short ugly men.

Its been 2y and a half now took some time about a year but i got over here and can say she can go fvck herself with her ugly man.

Life is too short to keep coming back to theses memories.

People on here bash me so hard when i tell them to stop focusing on women, and focus on other part of there lives. Go after your passions real ones even if its playing video games, watching movies, go mountain climbing, hiking.

Be your own man, live alone, learn to be alone, go out with friends not to pick up women but to have fun change your mind.

Enjoy the life that was given to you. Ex are Ex for one reason.

Right now this is my mindset, and i get attention from women that i am not even seeking......

AYYYYYY ****ING MEN! This my mindset right now!

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Yes, but haven't 'we' agreed in several previous posts, that the action of deleting all soc media/ph/address etc, is in itself a beta move.

Or are we saying that a recent breakup, to help get over it, you can do the all delete thing?

Overall I would say stay away from them and not have any contact, but I don't go deleting all their data. Feels too butt hurt, so to speak.

 

[blind_one]

You go and live your life bro. Live and learn.

Sleep well.
Fvck hard.
Eat well.
Train hard.

Get $$$. You can do better than that hoe, you just have to imprint that thought in your mind with actions.

When I broke with THAT girl I knew its for the better. Previously it was her throwing sh!t and me crawling back like a beta b!tch , apologizing for at least TRYING to act and be like a man. Sh!t. 3 weeks forward I'm free, happy and I know I'll have to remember both sides of the spectrum. I started training hardcore again and hobbies, rekindled my friendships with buddies. I exploded onto the world, anew. To my surprise pu$$y came almost immediately hahaha, and guess what did I discover ? My ex was sh!it in bed.

 

[Alexandar]

People on here bash me so hard when i tell them to stop focusing on women, and focus on other part of there lives.

that is not why they
/we bash you. and you know it. stop talking out of your a$$, yannick.

and you dont have to post sixteen times in one thread about your "9y LTR" nonstop like wtf, way to move forward buddy. not to mention in every other thread every other post youve ever made.

that said, good post.

 

[Konada]

The catch 22 to this is that if you're relatively new and inexperienced to the game pulling chicks can be a high order for us. Having an oneitis makes it worse since it reinforces the mindset you have that you can't get chicks.

What worked for me was reading uplifting material and accepting the situation that I was in. The book 'Models' really changed my entire paradigm on the dating world and my inability to pull chicks.

Personally, I do not believe in the mantra 'As you believe, you will become'. Never worked for me as most people can sniff that you're putting a fake bravado up. True confidence comes from sharing yourself with others without the need for external validation or approval. Plow through the failures no matter how painful they might be, all you need is that one positive experience to build your reference point from. Soon enough, you realise you're coming back for more.

Despite all this, I do not harbor any hatred for past oneitises, in fact I am grateful to them for sending me here. Otherwise, I would still be the pvssy I was back then 4 years ago.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I was trying to improvey life in general. Even did some of the steps of boot camp as a natural process like saying high to people i have never seen before. I was thinking about women and still somewhat am as the next accessory to my life as everything else now is out of my direct control. Well, I need to get my social skills back up, and not even that bothers me so much. I need to be less shy now and just be comfortable with the world. Time to start back from square one boys...... Good thing to criticize myself over this cuz now I noticed it and should try to improve it....

 

[Bingo-Player]

I try to learn something from every experience i have and a few girls taught me a few hard lessons mainly revolving around trust, expectations and forgiveness

Trust – women are weak creatures and the more trust you bestow in them and the more comfortable they get the more likely they are going to look to take a ride on the more exciting c0ck carousel , the only thing i trust these days in my gut

Expectation- the second you start expecting a new girl to reply to your texts or meet you for a date or whatever you’ve lost the game , in the game expectation is the mother of all f*ck up’s give too much of a it to a girl and all of a sudden your reduced to a sniffling afc beta whos spending hours pondering over a text

On the flip side Women have hundreds of opportunities for sex daily but they EXPECT the man to work for it immediatley , watch what happens when you dont

Forgiveness – oh boy have i spent some hours punching walls over chicks , i remember when my first GF dumped me over text i was only like 15 at the time but i just couldn’t understand why she did it , i mean i thought everything was going great loool

That was my first taste of how brutal women could be , little did i know i had a lot more to come I’ve had girlfriends say some pretty awful things, I’ve watched a oneitis use me to get into the club and then leave an hour later with a complete stranger

Eventually you just hit a point where you stop caring and my god does it feel good, theres no point hating these girls it aint gonna change anything so i forgave and inside i thanked them for teaching me some very precious lessons in life and i was also gratefull that they were now someone else’s problem

 

[Alexandar]

I feel so left out in left field, no woman brought me here. I came here purely looking for pick up mindsets and tactics and i lurked for 5 years haha, its been fruitful.

i was quite the nerdy loser through all of. school. though so i can relate well to your guys' stories. I managed to. get with a few real nice girls when i was young and it all ended terribly, which took. me ages to comprehend because they clearly had liked me a lot.

One interesting story though was in the dominican with my parents n sister i was 16 met this cutie and we talked and hung out cuz we were on the same adventure thing together she was with her mom i think. I felt like such a baller cuz id have never started chatting with her on my own i was just lucky we were stuck together and i cant even remember WHAT initiated the convo but it wasnt ME haha. I NEVER initiated with girls i liked until i was well out of. my teen years, i was always wayyyyy too nervous and low self confidence, thinking why the PHUCK would she wana talk to ME id probably just annoy her haha.

anyways after the adventure thing she went back to her hotel and i asked what number her room was and what hotel and later that night i walked there and buzzed her and shes like i dont waba hang out im chilin wit my mom and i think i kept buggin her and she said i have a bf and hung up LOL

so i proceeded to get super depressed and then super pissed and then super hammered and then to cry lol

and then this realllly cool older guy was like consoling.me and i was like LEAVE ME alone as i whipped my hand across the table and caught a big. glass by accident and smashed it into his FACE

it was the worst most embarassing experience and ill never forget it.

good beta times hahaha

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

When you have total confidence in yourself you can talk to anyone, women men children.

My personal experience growing older i decided to stop being shy, i speak my mind, some people like me other hate me and i don't care.

I stand my ground, i stand by what i believe, i never argue with anyone i find it immature and a waste of time. People who are not able to respect my opinion or my point of view, i just ignore or flush away or i simply tell it to there face that i have no time to waste with there crap.

The past 2 years i have done a lot of work on myself i very might well finish my life alone single but my mental stat will be out of this world.

Yes I am VERY confident, but nowhere near where I used to be when I first joined this site, so you are right on that. However, I still have strong personality to always stand for my own opinions and refuse to change them based on what someone else says unless I know nothing about that particular topic. My confidence isn't where it used to be either, btw, because of my environment. I just need on more year, if that......

 

[Lozboss]

Konada andd Bingo are right.

As Corey Wayne says- ever interaction is a gift and must be looked on as such.

I will never forgive or forget the way my ex treated and used me. But her actions brought me here. It made me take the red pill and open my eyes for the first time.

For that I am grateful and see the relationship as a gift.

Of course there are times when you feel bitter- that's being human.