Dealing with severe heartbreak - could use some support…

[In2theGame]

From someone who has gone through brutal heartbreak in my younger years,... This is what I can tell you...

• It's good you "remove" her from everything, however you cannot remove her from your mind. In fact you will never forget her but over time you're feelings will change and you will no longer have an emotional attachment to this girl.
• As stated above, only time is going to calm you down and allow you to move on. It's hard to understand this now but you will whether you like it or not.
• As hard as it is to think about, you have to realize that she is either going to or most likely is already getting fvcked by someone else. There is NOTHING you can do to stop this. Just accept it.

In the meantime, enjoy being single as much as you can. Do not rush into another relationship with another girl. Let yourself heal and take it day by day, week by week, month by month. Use this time to improve yourself. I know that gut punch feeling in the pit of your stomach sucks. You wake up with it, you walk around with it and you go to bed with it. It fvcking SUCKS! but this will toughen you up for the future.

You most likely wont understand this now but when it's all said and done, you will look back and think how thankful you are that all this happened.

Also, I'm not telling you to be a tough guy and be Manly! because I know you are more than likely crying and feeling a sense of loss (Like a death) but you have to let that sh*t pass. Let it out and move forward.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Day 14 of NC - The last few days I have been thinking about my Ex a lot and today was extra hard because I saw her in an Instagram post of one of our mutual friends - I know, “delete Instagram” and so I have done. I have already followed the advise of blocking her everywhere with the exception of WhatsApp as there is one final practical item to solve within the next 8 weeks after which I’ll likely block her there as well. I have not made any mistakes of approaching her on this app, nor has she reached out to me for that matter…

She looked happy and cute in the picture, doing wholesome stuff, and just as I remembered her.

This naturally intensified the feeling of me missing her to the point that I was contemplating reaching out to ask whether we could please give it another chance and to reiterate to her how much I miss her. This is naturally unacceptable as she made it clear during the break up that she was not interested in being with me anymore. She made it clear to me on a number occasions that she had no intention of being with me again and I am fairly certain that it is entirely over and that she has no intention of coming back to me.

My head and thoughts keep wandering though. I can’t get it out of my head how I - emphasis on *I* - might have spoiled something truly good with a girl I could have imagined myself being with for the rest of my life. The trust, however, is completely gone in the relationship, and I am to blame for the majority of the issues that we experienced until it ended. At that point she starting doing some strange stuff, which was probably just an indication of her gradually having been distancing herself from me over a period of a few months, which made me lose some trust in her. Although there is no turning back I keep having this intense hope that she’ll one day - soon - change her mind and come back to me…
I have been seeing a number of other girls since she broke it off, fcked a few and gone on a few dates, but nothing compares. She was good with my friends, extremely good in bed, we split everything 50/50, went on a ton of vacations / weekend trips, and genuinely had a good connection. She was always keen to send me naughty stuff and stories whenever I was abroad and I asked for it. She was good looking as well, with a low count (I was her 3rd) which, honesty, doesn’t help the whole situation.
While it is still early in the NC process, we have been broken up for about a month now, yet I still feel down on the daily and am experiencing a lot of trouble sleeping. I wake up early every day because I am unable to sleep and the first though, literally every morning, is me missing her so deeply and being sad for the first hour of the morning. I can’t seem to get her out of my mind…

I removed all pictures of her from my phone and even deleted our conversations on every platform, which contained messages going almost 3 years back in time.

I catch myself wanting to speak about the breakup and her all of the time with mutual friends and it annoys me. I am having a hard time controlling myself…
I recognize a lot of what is happening from my very first relationship, which, for me, was also a very intense emotional breakup that sent me to this site and on the verge of a depression..
I have no idea what to do: I am not and have not been mad at her for a single moment since the break-up, I am just extremely sad, hurt and broken…

Any advise to get her out of my head would be much appreciated. I am sure that the self consciousness that I experiencing at the moment doesn’t help me nor the situation the slightest bit… I know time heals all wounds, but it has now been affecting me at work for over a month and I am starting to feel a mild degree of anxiety…
Could really use your help guys..

There are very few female members here so you won't get any "maternal - warm" support. You will get the cold, hard, non-sugar coated truth and that is:

Suck it up. There is nothing you can do, aside from the usual NC and deleting her on social media and number. Embrace what you feel. People (specifically dogs/pets) come into our lives to teach us specific things at specific times, and often that is how to let go. So let go. But it won't happen overnight, be realistic that this will hurt for a while. Like the first time this happened to you, this, too, shall pass.

So I guess my only motherly advice is to be patient and kind to yourself. My fatherly advice is to embrace it and let it build you up.

Modern Man Advice

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Day 14 of NC - The last few days I have been thinking about my Ex a lot and today was extra hard because I saw her in an Instagram post of one of our mutual friends - I know, “delete Instagram” and so I have done. I have already followed the advise of blocking her everywhere with the exception of WhatsApp as there is one final practical item to solve within the next 8 weeks after which I’ll likely block her there as well. I have not made any mistakes of approaching her on this app, nor has she reached out to me for that matter…

She looked happy and cute in the picture, doing wholesome stuff, and just as I remembered her.

This naturally intensified the feeling of me missing her to the point that I was contemplating reaching out to ask whether we could please give it another chance and to reiterate to her how much I miss her. This is naturally unacceptable as she made it clear during the break up that she was not interested in being with me anymore. She made it clear to me on a number occasions that she had no intention of being with me again and I am fairly certain that it is entirely over and that she has no intention of coming back to me.

My head and thoughts keep wandering though. I can’t get it out of my head how I - emphasis on *I* - might have spoiled something truly good with a girl I could have imagined myself being with for the rest of my life. The trust, however, is completely gone in the relationship, and I am to blame for the majority of the issues that we experienced until it ended. At that point she starting doing some strange stuff, which was probably just an indication of her gradually having been distancing herself from me over a period of a few months, which made me lose some trust in her. Although there is no turning back I keep having this intense hope that she’ll one day - soon - change her mind and come back to me…
I have been seeing a number of other girls since she broke it off, fcked a few and gone on a few dates, but nothing compares. She was good with my friends, extremely good in bed, we split everything 50/50, went on a ton of vacations / weekend trips, and genuinely had a good connection. She was always keen to send me naughty stuff and stories whenever I was abroad and I asked for it. She was good looking as well, with a low count (I was her 3rd) which, honesty, doesn’t help the whole situation.
While it is still early in the NC process, we have been broken up for about a month now, yet I still feel down on the daily and am experiencing a lot of trouble sleeping. I wake up early every day because I am unable to sleep and the first though, literally every morning, is me missing her so deeply and being sad for the first hour of the morning. I can’t seem to get her out of my mind…

I removed all pictures of her from my phone and even deleted our conversations on every platform, which contained messages going almost 3 years back in time.

I catch myself wanting to speak about the breakup and her all of the time with mutual friends and it annoys me. I am having a hard time controlling myself…
I recognize a lot of what is happening from my very first relationship, which, for me, was also a very intense emotional breakup that sent me to this site and on the verge of a depression..
I have no idea what to do: I am not and have not been mad at her for a single moment since the break-up, I am just extremely sad, hurt and broken…

Any advise to get her out of my head would be much appreciated. I am sure that the self consciousness that I experiencing at the moment doesn’t help me nor the situation the slightest bit… I know time heals all wounds, but it has now been affecting me at work for over a month and I am starting to feel a mild degree of anxiety…
Could really use your help guys..

Get off that phaggy times kuz.

You enamored over her. She's out getting her **** pushed in. Your cherish is in a BBC gang bang with Tyrone.

Fellas need to man up. Grow a pair of nuts. GO get hotter YOUNGER GIRLS.

Chat up absurd amounts of girls. Take your D out and smash. If you had a harem of girls some has been skank isn't even an afterthought.

Not doing it right. Leave feelers to women &&& small children.

This where phaggotry leads men. The game is catch and release. You feel for the Con job.

 

[zinc4]

Day 14 of NC - The last few days I have been thinking about my Ex a lot and today was extra hard because I saw her in an Instagram post of one of our mutual friends - I know, “delete Instagram” and so I have done. I have already followed the advise of blocking her everywhere with the exception of WhatsApp as there is one final practical item to solve within the next 8 weeks after which I’ll likely block her there as well. I have not made any mistakes of approaching her on this app, nor has she reached out to me for that matter…

She looked happy and cute in the picture, doing wholesome stuff, and just as I remembered her.

This naturally intensified the feeling of me missing her to the point that I was contemplating reaching out to ask whether we could please give it another chance and to reiterate to her how much I miss her. This is naturally unacceptable as she made it clear during the break up that she was not interested in being with me anymore. She made it clear to me on a number occasions that she had no intention of being with me again and I am fairly certain that it is entirely over and that she has no intention of coming back to me.

My head and thoughts keep wandering though. I can’t get it out of my head how I - emphasis on *I* - might have spoiled something truly good with a girl I could have imagined myself being with for the rest of my life. The trust, however, is completely gone in the relationship, and I am to blame for the majority of the issues that we experienced until it ended. At that point she starting doing some strange stuff, which was probably just an indication of her gradually having been distancing herself from me over a period of a few months, which made me lose some trust in her. Although there is no turning back I keep having this intense hope that she’ll one day - soon - change her mind and come back to me…
I have been seeing a number of other girls since she broke it off, fcked a few and gone on a few dates, but nothing compares. She was good with my friends, extremely good in bed, we split everything 50/50, went on a ton of vacations / weekend trips, and genuinely had a good connection. She was always keen to send me naughty stuff and stories whenever I was abroad and I asked for it. She was good looking as well, with a low count (I was her 3rd) which, honesty, doesn’t help the whole situation.
While it is still early in the NC process, we have been broken up for about a month now, yet I still feel down on the daily and am experiencing a lot of trouble sleeping. I wake up early every day because I am unable to sleep and the first though, literally every morning, is me missing her so deeply and being sad for the first hour of the morning. I can’t seem to get her out of my mind…

I removed all pictures of her from my phone and even deleted our conversations on every platform, which contained messages going almost 3 years back in time.

I catch myself wanting to speak about the breakup and her all of the time with mutual friends and it annoys me. I am having a hard time controlling myself…
I recognize a lot of what is happening from my very first relationship, which, for me, was also a very intense emotional breakup that sent me to this site and on the verge of a depression..
I have no idea what to do: I am not and have not been mad at her for a single moment since the break-up, I am just extremely sad, hurt and broken…

Any advise to get her out of my head would be much appreciated. I am sure that the self consciousness that I experiencing at the moment doesn’t help me nor the situation the slightest bit… I know time heals all wounds, but it has now been affecting me at work for over a month and I am starting to feel a mild degree of anxiety…
Could really use your help guys..

Ill play devil's advocate here....what do you think made her want to break up with you?

Recognize where you went wrong and think to yourself that you will become a better version of yourself while banging hot women then next time not acting so emo about your next relationship.

Also, you are only upset because you clearly let this woman define who you are. That is a fundamental mistake everyone makes in early life relationships. At the end of the day she is nothing but a distant memory as harsh as it sounds. Enjoy it for what it was though. Good memories and a learning experience.

 

[darksprezzatura]

This is a good opportunity. Sorry tldr, but workout + spin plates recommended for a reason.

When I have no plates I have raging fire in me, when I start getting blown by 4-5 girls a week I get complacent.

Use this time, it's a gift.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe listen to some Foreigner??

"In my life...
There's been heartache and pain..
I don't know if I can face it again..."

I'm just messing with you OP.

In all seriousness tho, everyone has been in the same boat, and it sucks. Time heals all wounds. Sure you might still have a random thought about her a year later but she will only be a blip on your radar every few months with the time lengthening between blips until she falls off the radar completely.

 

[European-DJ]

Appreciate all the advise fellas. Am catching myself reverting to all your posts and inputs again and again every time I feel down… ‘heartbreak’ is an interesting phenomenon and can come so suddenly..

Interestingly, all my female friends have confirmed that girls move on and grieve while in the relationship, while guys only ever do it after one, which probably explains why we seem to “care more” about it than they do

 

[mrskinnypantz]

 

[LOASoSuave]

When I saw this (the first minute), this rang a bell in my head about my breakups in the past

 

[European-DJ]

Been two months since I wrote this post. While I am in a significantly better place, I am still having a hard time about the whole situation and thinking about her a lot.

I revisit the answers I have received in this threat from time to time and find it really helpful. Thank you guys.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

As much as the men want to claim otherwise, I do think it's true that you don't ever quite forget your first love (or first strong love). Don't worry about the what ifs; there is no free will, and everything has been set in motion since long before you were born. Everything happened the only way it could have happened. To say "if only" is to say "if only I lived in another Universe" - a completely pointless exercise.

If it's simply raw, wistful sentiments towards her that are inhabiting your mind, all I can say is that with enough time, all pain will heal.

I would try to think very hard about all the reasons she isn't right for you, all the benefits of being single again, and all the bad times you had with her. And you need to 100% NC and block her from literally everything. Throw out anything and everything that reminds you of her.

At that point she starting doing some strange stuff, which was probably just an indication of her gradually having been distancing herself from me over a period of a few months, which made me lose some trust in her.

Out of curiosity, what "weird things" are you referring to? Though if talking about her too much makes it worse, don't feel obligated.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The best way to get over a woman is to bang a hotter woman. Remember, she is a flawed human much like yourself. Go out there and meet new women!

He already is doing that

 

[Murk]

Been two months since I wrote this post. While I am in a significantly better place, I am still having a hard time about the whole situation and thinking about her a lot.

I revisit the answers I have received in this threat from time to time and find it really helpful. Thank you guys.

I banged my way through 2017 and in 2018 I was still thinking about my ex.

I think about her 4 years later, just indifferent feelings, but would still want to meet/bang her

 

[darksprezzatura]

Remember, this too shall pass.
Meanwhile, keep crying but hit the gym.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Remember, this too shall pass.
Meanwhile, keep crying but hit the gym.

"keep crying but hit the gym"
its only right

 

[MatureDJ]

The treatment for heartbreak is ...

SPIN MORE PLATES