Dealing with office politics, women and etc

[SlyDonJuan]

I just started working as I have graduated from college.

Allright, to cut the story short, I will not explain whatsoever job I am working, when do I work and etc. I just want to know how can I deal with rumour-mongers in the office?

Since I am new here, I have come across a guy who doesn't like me. I don't know why but each time when I talked to him, he is either rude or reluctant to tell me more about how the office runs.
He doesn't even look at me when we talked or didn't talk and he prefers to ignore me whenever I am around. This is the first problem.

Now the second problem is this. The girls in the office seem to be spreading some sort of rumours and now everyone is gossipping about me. Each time when I see them, they smile, grin and their attitude towards me has changed. I didn't ask them what are they talking about as I don't dare to do so but I know something is definitely wrong.

I want to know why the guy doesn't like me and the people in the office are gossipping about me now. I thought of pulling girls in the office but since I am in a middle of gossip, I dont think I will get any of them. By the way, the rumour thing is started by a girl and it spreads to all girls and then to everyone in the office. I just don't get it, rumours can be so powerful that once it is spread by a person, it goes around.

Anybody can help me in this situation?

 

[Chrispy]

Originally posted by SlyDonJuan
I just started working as I have graduated from college.

Allright, to cut the story short, I will not explain whatsoever job I am working, when do I work and etc. I just want to know how can I deal with rumour-mongers in the office?

Since I am new here, I have come across a guy who doesn't like me. I don't know why but each time when I talked to him, he is either rude or reluctant to tell me more about how the office runs.
He doesn't even look at me when we talked or didn't talk and he prefers to ignore me whenever I am around. This is the first problem.

Now the second problem is this. The girls in the office seem to be spreading some sort of rumours and now everyone is gossipping about me. Each time when I see them, they smile, grin and their attitude towards me has changed. I didn't ask them what are they talking about as I don't dare to do so but I know something is definitely wrong.

I want to know why the guy doesn't like me and the people in the office are gossipping about me now. I thought of pulling girls in the office but since I am in a middle of gossip, I dont think I will get any of them. By the way, the rumour thing is started by a girl and it spreads to all girls and then to everyone in the office. I just don't get it, rumours can be so powerful that once it is spread by a person, it goes around.

Anybody can help me in this situation?

All work places thrive on gossip. All work places will have the one or two odd person you simply can't get along with. Ignore the gossip, and don't try to have "everyone like me" cuz you cannot.


By the way, this sort of thing is probably why the smart guys here say you shouldn't date people from work! Are you hitting on someone? Maybe that will shed some light..more info please!

 

[ApocalypseCow]

"The only thing worse than being talked about is being not talked about." - Oscar Wilde.

 

[Safari]

"Paranoia is when you think everyone is talking about you when really no one gives a ****"

 

[anakin]

Although I'm in Uni at the moment, I know very well what you are referring to...and it is a very important aspect...

Here are some books that may help you here:

1. 100+ Tactics for Office Politics

2. The Secret Handshake: Mastering the Politics of the Business Inner Circle

3. Eat or be Eaten!: Jungle Warfare for the Master Corporate Politician:

4. Winning Office Politics

I haven't read any of the above, although I may buy some...any one with other recommendations?

Anakin

 

[SlyDonJuan]

Sorry for late reply as I am busy

I am definitely not paranoid here. When everyone is smiling at you,grinning, something is definitely wrong. Visit www.askmen.com and search under money&power. This column provides lots of infos about warfare.

Anyway, here's an update. I want to know why I was chosen as a f*cking target of gossip. And apart from that, why am I ostracized from my colleagues? I just dont have anybody talking to me. I talked to them and they talked to me. But when I dont talk to them, they just dont bother to start any small talk with me. Even when I talked to them, it is only about work. Never have I talked anything personal with them. Sigh.

I am usually out alone for lunch. What ashame! Now let me get this straight. I wont be able to last long here. So can anybody tell me how to get accepted by people? Not only did I get isolated in office but also as well in my private life.

Now I am down again with feeling depressed. What to do to overcome my situation?

 

[phloyd]

I think you may be looking at things all wrong. People at all workplaces gossip about a new person. maybe it's not all bad like you think? Maybe the women there think you're hot? This could explain why the guy there doesn't like you.

who knows. Just focus on your job and give it some time. If things don't get better in a month or so, just get a new job.

 

[tx_xp]

I would focus on working and doing a great job, forget all of the other stuff or at least don't make it the focus. Have fun and do your job and in the process I think things will turn around for you. Just have fun and don't let things get to you, I say that but I sometimes let the small stuff get to me as well.

6 years ago I started working where I am now. I got there and this co-worker was a real jerk, I considered leaving the job quickly. About 6 months later he went on a long trip to our main office and sent me something via interoffice mail. I don’t remember offhand what it was but I tried to figure out what it was and what he was trying to imply by sending this to me. I asked a different co-worker what it implied and he could tell I was upset, the co-worker said nothing man he sent us all one of those, and he did. The guy was just thinking of us. The same guy who was a real jerk has become a manager and I have since learned that it was all to do with his personality and how he handled things at the time but it had nothing to do with me.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by ApocalypseCow
"The only thing worse than being talked about is being not talked about." - Oscar Wilde.

I have all the good quotes

Oscar.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by tx_xp
I would focus on working and doing a great job, forget all of the other stuff or at least don't make it the focus. Have fun and do your job and in the process I think things will turn around for you. Just have fun and don't let things get to you, I say that but I sometimes let the small stuff get to me as well.

I agree with tx.

Some people have different relations with their jobs than others - some socialise only with their work friends, meeting them for drinks after work, playing sports with them, etc.

Then you have other people who have their private and social life completely seperate from their work life - they do their 9 to 5, don't drink with their workmates, and just get on with their jobs. They rarely interact deeply with people at work, and are only known and judged by how well they do their job.

Why not become the second type. You're a DJ, you have plenty of people to socialise with, you don't need these people. Ignore it.

And btw, I am agreed with not dating within the office, things can get *real* complex. I know a couple where the guy moved companies, then they let people know they were dating (engaged actually) - it was a good move.

Oscar.

 

[trajhenkhet]

Is there any consequence you can forsee that would occur if you just didn't mind things at work? Just ignoring the negativity, you know?

 

[b_elusive_eyes]

You probably are good looking...the guy may be jealous of you...he might be gay or he thinks you are going to take his job or interfere with his ***** action at work...you are his rival and he knows it...good luck...

 

[Raised]

Don't give up yet, and try not to get all bitter with your co-workers either. Many people can't help but to belittle newcomers.
Concentrate on the work, try to make your proofs and be polite with people around you. Are there any other new employees? You could try to approach them, if so.