Dealing with infatuations

[SteR]

I know spinning plates is touted as a cure for 'oneitis' and I can understand how diverting your attention to other women can help, but ultimately do you ever stop having them?

I seem to be developing one for a colleague and while I feel there's mutual attraction, I feel as though she's ****ing with my circuitry. I literally lose all my charm/cool when around this girl as I'm too busy concentrating on just string my sentences together.

I figured going off with other girls would sort me out but it doesn't seem to be working. As soon as I'm in her presence I seem to crumble again. I feel completely ridiculous for feeling like this as a 30 year old man.. I figured you'd get to a certain age where you just don't get affected any more.

How the hell do you maintain your cool? My only solution so far seems to be trying to avoid her/going off with other girls until I can regain my composure but I can't see that happening any time soon..

 

[KarmaSutra]

You have to keep centered in your mind, at all times, that she is nothing more than a chick. She's not the virgin Mary, she's not your Mother, she's not even one of your buddies.

She's a chick who you want to make a friend. That's it. Truly, it sounds simplistic, because it IS simplistic. Remove every facet of your sexual hopes with her and what's left? Remove any ambition that she'll be your "one-and-only". She will not be. There will be others-many others- who will take reign over your attentions.

Remember, if you're not fvcking her, you're her girlfriend.

 

[backbreaker]

infatuation happens when you replace real live tangiable information about someone with fairy tell information about someone.


In other words, take a pretty chick you met at the gym. she's really cute. You might one day, imagine how her breasts look because you've never seen them (I do this but with feet lol). You never imagine that girl having a mole on her breasts or having really over sized nipples or sagging tits or anything. in your mind they are always perfect, perky and delectable lol

the best cure to infatuation is being around someone from my experience. The quicker you can do something with someone that makes them break the faced that they put up, the faster the infatuation stage goes.

 

[Slickster]

The best cure for this is to sit in a completely dark and silent room.

Focus all your energy and power and go into a deep meditative state.

Now imagine her completely naked except for a pair of men's black socks.

Now imagine her sitting on the toilet taking the stinkiest most nasty rotten dump possible. It's steaming diarrhea and it's sprayed everywhere. She's wiping her dirty arse and the sh!t is getting all over her hands and arms.

Smell the rottenness burning your nose.

Congrats!

You're cured!


P.S. The point is that she's just another human being. She eats, burps, farts, sh!ts, and pukes just like the rest of us. She is nothing special at all.

 

[SteR]

I agree with everything you guys are saying. I don't for one second believe she's anything special and my rational mind understands what's going on. It's just in her presence I can't seem to maintain my cool and end up putting my foot in my mouth, haha.

 

[stephenbaldwin]

You just suck it up and deal with the emotional pain. The pain eventually passes.

As a drill sergeant used to tell us: "you don't have to like it, you just have to do it"