dealing with her past experiances

[Don Juanobi]

Hey guys, I've been datin a girl for about 3mo and we get along great except Im having some percieved problems with the amount of guys she's had previous to me.

I'm fairly conservative (spare the flames) with that sorta thing and I'd appreciate some calming thoughts towards dealing with girls who have had way more partners than the guy.

The thing that kinda makes me feel better, but yet worse is that she regrets most of what she's done.
mostly what bothers me however are her 2 ONS thats she's had. I definatly do not believe in that and feel rather stupid for 'giving it up' to a girl who obviously screws guys whom she does not nessesarly care for.

 

[Viking25]

Have you read a thread below "Does women sexual past matter?". I was in your situation and let me tell you,this icky feeling isn't going away,no matter what you do or say to yourself. You are dating a ho, who doesn't deserve to be with you,just dump the b1tch and tell her exactly why. Find someone, who you are comfortable with to begin with,then maybe you develop a LTR.
Good luck and don't you settle for the ho!Don't be a loser AFC who gets leftovers,you deserve the best!

 

[Fantasy]

After you throw out women with quite a bit of sexual partners and those who refuse to go into detail about their sexual partners/lie about the amount of guys they've been with, the amount of women in the world that are worthy enough for you will be slim. Then comes the problem of actually finding those women that are worthy enough.

Once you've found one, then you must hope that she has a good personality and good morals. Then you are really down to a small number of women that are worthy enough for you. Then once you finally get one that meets your expectations, you better pray that you meet hers. By the time you are finished, you will be alone most of the time.

 

[b's nuts]

as long as she doesn't have any kids, she is clean of std's, and her pvssy isn't all loose as shiit, why do you care? Everyone is different, and why is it you spend so much time dwelling on the past? If your stuck on the past, its impossible to move forward. Judge not, less you be judged first. If she is a slut who cheats, thats an entirely different issue, but unless you find a virgin, your obviously not going to be happy with you girl's sexual past. maybe you should start doing PU's at church.

 

[Trapspringer]

Just like Chris Rock says, just don't ask about a woman's sexual past in the first place. She can say she has been with two people and that would be too many for you.


"Two? Two? I guess that's just way she was raised!"

 

[NewMan]

Do you have a problem with her sexual past or your own sexual past?

The fact that she's had 2 one night stands, or the fact that you have not slept with many women?

Have you made mistakes?

Have you not done somethings you've regretted?

Would you rather be with an ugly chick that no other man would touch?

Do you really believe that there is a woman out there who is just keeping herslef for you?

Let me put this another way.... If a HB10 approached you - and wanted to go out with you - would you? What if you had a relationship with her, including sex, then 3 months down the line she turned into a controlling nagging b#tch - and you dumped her.

Would be happy if another women held this against you? just because you meet someone you really liked but it turned out you were not compatible?

Thats what you are doing.

She regret's her ONS - are you going to hold that against her for the rest of her life?

It sounds like you are the one with the problem. do you have a low self esteem?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop wasting time worrying about her life prior to meeting you (unless it directly impacts you). If she is treating you well, enjoy it. Base your decisions on how the two of you interact. Don't bring history into it if it isn't there in the first place.

 

[Julian]

The only thing i care about is her being healthy and STD free.

 

[JohnJones]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Stop wasting time worrying about her life prior to meeting you (unless it directly impacts you). If she is treating you well, enjoy it. Base your decisions on how the two of you interact. Don't bring history into it if it isn't there in the first place.

Agreed: I have been down that road and it has no value at all. She regrets a fair amount of it, which shows that decent people can go places and have drunken people do things to them. Not great, I admit, but not that bad.

If it makes you feel better, one girl who was definately decent (and disease free) and turned into a fabulous human being I met when I had been with 1 other girl and she had been with 20 guys. Gross in some ways but I spent waaayy too much time worried about it.

 

[dietzcoi]

I cannot agree with most of the posters here.

If you bought a rifle with a worn out barrel (rifling worn away) from being shot too often, would you expect your friends to tell you "you're just insecure, get over it?"

We have some seriously "Oprah-like" advice here... is Dr. Phil on line? (Viking 25 excepted, of course...)

Sexual past behavior is in fact a reasonable issue to have with somebody who you are going to have an LTR with. Maybe not for a STR, but if a man is going to invest his time, money and life into somebody, you better make sure it is the right person. I have to say, for me, ONS's are bad business. If she just had a few more "relationships" then you, then OK... but ONS's = HO.

"Drunken people doing things to her" - WTF? Sounds like RAPE...

I do however agree with the statement that it is better not to ask....

Don't you young guys know how the courts screw over men in divorces? You better know your partner's past if you are really going to be with her. Or she WILL get you.

Sounds paranoid but it happens again and again and again...

Or course for a STR, what the hell...

DIetzcoi

 

[Trapspringer]

You are comparing a intelligent being to a shotgun? I don't think that is fair.


I often wonder why so many guys must look at every relationship as a potential wife and the woman must be every thing an ideal wife would be. If you are searching for a wife then keep your credetials in mind when searching for her but you are severely limiting yourself as far as relationship and sexual experience is concerned if every time you decide to date you hold on to your wifey credentials too tough. Just get out there and enjoy the company of a woman until you decide you are ready to settle down.

The worst thing that can happen is that you will either come across a woman that will meet your wifey credentials and you both will fall deep for each other and get married or you will learn to scarifice some of those strict credentials and learn to look past someone's sexual experience and realize that it does not make a person a bad human being and they can still make a caring wife and mother.

Just date, enjoy the skills your GF has picked up in bed and maybe use them to satisfy your future wife. Gather as much realtionship wisdom as you can during your bachelor years. The only way to do this is too be a bit lenient during those years. Don't get into someone who is morally dead but don't get self-righteous yourself. All of our $hit stank.

Everyone who will get married someday will learn that deciding to be with someone for the rest of your life will mean sacrificing some of those tough credentials. Not all but some. Me and a good friend was just discussing this last night. All of his friends and family can see that he has a cool GF but there are some ideals that he had trouble letting go of and ha learned to just sacrifice some. It is all about compromise.


"We don't always have the luxury of choosing the woman we share our beds with."----unknown