Dealing with haters

[swifTy]

Very serious question; Whats the best way to deal with them?

For me, they are everywhere. Whether its the guy at the checkout counter who throws the change in my hand, or the guy at the club who stares at me just because im having a fun time. Or the girls who hate me because they can't get me. Or the guy calling me a whatever name who doesn't even know me, just hates that im doing well. I realise that these people are envious/jealous and that perhaps their lives suck (and what they dont realise is that I've been there too) so when I see all of this hate directed at me, I dont like it...i'm a nice person and I want to be nice to people. Towards me, someone is either a hater or an admirer. The haters just hate you, and the admirers admire you and want to be like you, and even tho your doing well, they allow you that, and they appreciate and enjoy it with you.

maybe im just a bit paranoid, but i dont want one pullin a knife on me or tryna start a fight or some other crazy immature insecure thing. theres a lot of psychos out there and ive seen some sh!t in my time. its funny, before, noone even looked twice at me, not girls, not guys, and all i wanted was to get noticed. now that i am getting noticed left and right, its not as rosy as i thought.

advice?

thanks.

 

[wjh]

this is actually something i need to figure out as well. i'm glad you started the thread.

 

[joekerr31]

go live in a white neighbourhood. us white folks are too chicken to 'hate on' people

 

[hithard]

I use to get this a lot. Depends on the situation, where you are how possibly life threatening it is, etc. First off change your attitude. You might be staring these guys down and not even notice it (because your expecting trouble, and thus attracting it). The way you interact with these guys may also be a reason .They usually need ego disarming. Now this is the tricky bit and depends on a million different factors due to location, who they are etc. Keeping a really friendly attitude no matter what helps.

Walking up to the guys that are staring and saying "how’s the night going" or some other idle chit chat BS and treating them like an old friend. Or using them as kamikaze wings, or helping them achieve 5 seconds of fun they would otherwise not have, or even pushing the chicks you don't want off on to them. All this sounds like massive effort but can take 2 - 5mins of time. The idea is to disarm enough of the room so other Fukworts think your social group is too large and you fall off their radar(one of the reasons you treat everyone like an old friend).Not to mention to bounce into other social groups.

The main idea is to not bite at the aggression or violence. And to change other peoples mindsets from violence to something more placid, or in your favor. The staunch, hard or tough guy image needs to be dropped altogether if you want to move away from the $hit
Remember its about going to have a good night out, working a room can add to the fun as you take all the good women while everyone pats you on the back.

 

[potato]

Just blow them off, ignore them. You can’t let others, and especially those who mean you no good, to adversely affect you. Whenever someone says something to me that is hateful I’ll smile, tell them, “thank you.” You have to rise above it to take away their power.

 

[DJDamage]

Without meeting you, I can't tell where the problem lies or if there is any problem at all.

The world cannot be filled with haters, so if you meet different people and the only situation that stays the same is YOU and they still hate you then maybe it is YOU.

Usually people hate other people if you give out the vibe that you are BETTER THEN THEM and as a result you come off as a condescending egotistical a$$hole that goes around saying that everyone is a HATER.

Maybe all you need is to find an unpartial third party in your life that might be able to tell the truth to your face.

 

[Warrior74]

True haters....not just some internet haters are a real pain. But as long as your a cool guy and not agressive it shouldn't be a problem. Most people are too cowardly to hate to your face anyway. They just talk behind your back like the cowards they are.

The ones who are brave enough to say something to your face, well you have to judge that situation for yourself. I personally would keep it light and non violent until they pushed it into that arena. I am pretty non confrontational unless pushed. Try to disarm the situation or just be cool. But if you can't help but fight then do what you have to do. Fighting is a very last resort. Walk away if you can.