Dealing with Ghosting vs Flakes

[nicksaiz65]

I originally posted this in my journal, but it's really important so I'm opening it up to the public. I've dealt with flakes before and I have a good policy. I give them two Strikes. But this straight up ghosting is an entirely different matter.

I had suggested to this HB 9.5 that we hang out and write music. She asked me "are we ever hanging out?" So I waited two days, and then texted her "Hey what's your availability?"

Aaaaand left on read. What the hell? She was the one who asked ME to hang out! Lol.

She might just be trying to pull my chain and get attention. Which ESPECIALLY sucks because she's freshly single out of a relationship and I can't hook up with her. If I can't get her to text me back, I can't get with her.

I'm trying to figure out causes and how I should react. Why would a girl ask me to hang out and then ghost me? Just to get attention? Jeez.

Is it because I'm being flirty when I hang out with her? Maybe that's giving her too much validation and therefore I got ghosted. Should I stop flirting altogether and conceal my interest level?

Also, how do I react to this? Call her on her BS? Next her? Try again one more time?

 

[Robert28]

Ghosting is the new thing. So is “almost-relationships”. It’s hard to keep up. I will say that I see this ghosting pattern in women that have never had healthy relationships and they’ll tell you their stories about how bad their relationships were. So at least you can sorta prepare for her to ghost.

 

[Mazer]

Some women never really want to go out on an actual date, they just need the validation of you asking them out, then they just move on. Don’t reach out to this woman. Let her reach out.

 

[BJP1991]

I originally posted this in my journal, but it's really important so I'm opening it up to the public. I've dealt with flakes before and I have a good policy. I give them two Strikes. But this straight up ghosting is an entirely different matter.

I had suggested to this HB 9.5 that we hang out and write music. She asked me "are we ever hanging out?" So I waited two days, and then texted her "Hey what's your availability?"

Aaaaand left on read. What the hell? She was the one who asked ME to hang out! Lol.

Why did you wait two days to reply to her. She nexted you...don't even bother with this one anymore. Women fresh out of a relationship are super unpredictable, and who knows, maybe she is talking with her ex boyfriend again.

 

[BJP1991]

Some women never really want to go out on an actual date, they just need the validation of you asking them out, then they just move on. Don’t reach out to this woman. Let her reach out.

This^ so many just want attention and won't ever commit to an actual date. Sometimes, you can spot them early on and just ignore them from the start.

 

[Robert28]

I’ve got a girl that’s one of my plates that only texts me once a week, usually Wednesday, to make plans to come over the weekend. That’s it. We will send like 4-5 texts back and forth flirty and then she says “ok so which night this weekend can you pencil me in for?”. They really do make it easy as **** if they are into you.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Do not reach out to her, in any capacity. It will get her hamster spinning about you even more. Wait it out. Focus on other things. She will text you again. When she does, do not respond immediately. Let her anticipate and wonder what you are doing, for just a little bit longer (maybe 15-20 minutes). Do not get chatty, at all. She needs to earn your attention back. Do not mention her flaking. Straight up ask her when is she coming over to yours. That is it. Anything other than a time and date from her, tell her you are busy and for her to reach when she figures out when she is free to come to yours. Go straight silent. Repeat above as needed. Eventually she'll get on your F.B. program or fade out. Don't explain what you are busy with either. Let her mind wonder about you. Mystery drives women's attraction up. Her imagination will assume other women and that may peak her drive to meet up sooner with you. Keep it short simple and to the point. No need to mention music either. You both know what the deal really is. Simply ask when is she coming over to yours. If you are not available at that time, don't explain why, just tell her to choose another time. You lead the conversation. Time and Date. You look forward to seeing her then, gotta run. End it.

If she mentions flaking...simply ask her when is she going to come over and make it up to you. (BJ minimum) That's it. Go silent. Let her respond.

 

[GrowingPains]

Definitely don't text her acknowledging that she ignored your text.

That'd be super needy. We not bout that.

 

[TBG]

You shouldn't have waited two days to reply. You're on here wanting to know why she's ghosted. Now imagine what she must've thought when you disappeared after asking you out. She more than likely thought you weren't interested and moved on. Never forget that women these days potentially have access to hundreds of men on a daily basis. You've gotta strike whilst the iron is hot or you'll be easily replaced.

Playing games with your response times will only shoot yourself in the foot.

 

[Glassguy]

OP- if the roles were reversed would you be frustrated with her if she waited 2 days to respond to you?

LET ME SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DIDNT HEAR IT THE FIRST 8305830 TIMES:

Stop GAMING women. You are literally gaming yourself out the door. Just do what you want, when you want. Nobody in their right mind would wait 2 days to respond back from an obvious offer if they had high interest or if they werent playing "games".

In turn, she assumed you had low interest or she thought you were gaming her and not acting naturally.

Now that you have dug yourself a hole, you must wait for her to respond or not respond. But you clearly put yourself there.

 

[nicksaiz65]

OP- if the roles were reversed would you be frustrated with her if she waited 2 days to respond to you?

LET ME SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DIDNT HEAR IT THE FIRST 8305830 TIMES:

Stop GAMING women. You are literally gaming yourself out the door. Just do what you want, when you want. Nobody in their right mind would wait 2 days to respond back from an obvious offer if they had high interest or if they werent playing "games".

In turn, she assumed you had low interest or she thought you were gaming her and not acting naturally.

Now that you have dug yourself a hole, you must wait for her to respond or not respond. But you clearly put yourself there.

I should clarify a bit... We saw each other in person and then she told me to text her whenever I was free. I then waited two days and texted her. Is this bad?

I was under the impression you were supposed to wait a bit to avoid coming off as needy.

Maybe I should just forget all the "rules" and talk to her like a normal person? Lol.

But I'm not texting her back. If she asks me in person I'll say "We can't hang out if you don't text me back lol"

 

[Sunnypoo]

Well she's a 9.5 to your 5.5, what do you expect?

 

[allancc3]

Well she's a 9.5 to your 5.5, what do you expect?

This is the problem with PUA and fake self help. They don't teach or even encourage realistic self assessment or practical plans for self improvement. Instead, they tell you what you want to hear, meaning lots of gullible people will get fleeced. Even intelligent people who are just curious and open minded are liable to lose time because the higher the content of bullsh1t, the more likely it is to be pushed by media.

Bullsh1t like: "looks don't matter" or "think it into reality." Lunatics like Lavar Ball "believe" this bullsh1t. Mufugah tried selling $500 pairs of shoes. Now he's out of business and his son is suing one of his "financial advisors" (aka parasites) after being fleeced out of millions of dollars.