Dealing with flaky chicks you DON'T want a relationship with

[STR8UP]

I have this feeling that this chick is kinda out there to begin with, so I "broke down" and called her today.

Pretty much as I expected, she was expecting ME to call cause "I'm the guy". Looks like I will have to take into account who I am dealing with here and change my tactic accordingly. At least she isn't a clinger (so far).

We made plans to get together tomorrow night. Told her she better not pull a no show again, so hopefully she's on board.

Wish me "luck". She likes girls too (maybe as much as guys) and she's into strip clubs and says she loves porn, so if I can manage to get her on board I have a feeling it's gonna be a WILD ride :rockon:

 

[rebel485]

You tell her you have better things to do (esp other women) then being flaked on, then you never talk to her again.

 

[STR8UP]

How do you deal with flaky chicks? You DON'T.

For a relationship...I agree. In that situation there aren't too many excuses/chances I will allow.

But for someone who I am only interested in PHYSICALLY, I'm willing to give a little. Obviously there needs to be a line drawn but to be honest I would rather have a chick who is a bit flakey than one who is up my a$$ 24/7. I just get a little pissed when someone disrespects my time.

The higher her IL, the more she is likely to want you as a husband. I'm willing to compromise some to avoid the clinginess.

 

[STR8UP]

You tell her you have better things to do (esp other women) then being flaked on, then you never talk to her again.

Like I said, obviously there is a point that it becomes more trouble than it's worth. But I don't have the time or the desire to juggle a bunch of women at various stages just to try to get a piece of a$$. To me it's a better use of my time to put up with a little BS from one than to have to deal with three more who will ultimately cost me more time and aggravation.

Maybe I'm just lazy......

 

[grinder]

I have this feeling that this chick is kinda out there to begin with, so I "broke down" and called her today.

Pretty much as I expected, she was expecting ME to call cause "I'm the guy". Looks like I will have to take into account who I am dealing with here and change my tactic accordingly. At least she isn't a clinger (so far).

We made plans to get together tomorrow night. Told her she better not pull a no show again, so hopefully she's on board.

Wish me "luck". She likes girls too (maybe as much as guys) and she's into strip clubs and says she loves porn, so if I can manage to get her on board I have a feeling it's gonna be a WILD ride :rockon:

NOW you tell us there is lesbionic potential.

The lesbo/kink factor changes the equation.

You are now an explorer conducting an experiment.

You are not some nube that will be surprised or upset if it blows up. It’s just an experiment.

But, I hope you have a backup woman.

 

[STR8UP]

NOW you tell us there is lesbionic potential.

The lesbo/kink factor changes the equation.

You are now an explorer conducting an experiment.

You are not some nube that will be surprised or upset if it blows up. It’s just an experiment.

But, I hope you have a backup woman.

There are plenty of chicks around but none of them do enough for me to warrant any effort.

Call me crazy but if it weren't for the enticement of a possible sexual adventure I just might be running the other way. Oh, and the fact that this is one of the FEW chicks I have met recently that I have been REALLY physically attracted to.

I met her best friend last week and she told me later that night that her friend thought I was hot. Hmmm.... Either she's saying that her friend approves of me, or that her friend might be down for some action. Never had a chick proclaim that her friend thinks I'm hot. That would border on being counterproductive for her at this stage of knowing her.

Dildo left conspicuously on the counter, pics of naked chicks on her bedroom wall, loves strip clubs, porn, and pu$$y....... just the kind of dysfunctional sex freak I've been looking my entire life! lol

 

[Throttle]

just have an escape plan for when her borderline personality is about to drive you over the edge... even the freakiest gal gets annoying after a while, and she's already annoying you! you almost certainly have a drama queen on your hands, if not a psychopath.....

 

[STR8UP]

You've GOT to be kidding....

Are chicks REALLY this dense?

Made plans with her for tonite (see a few posts up) at HER suggestion. Said to her flat out "So you're not going to stand me up again, are you?" She says "No, of course not, blah, blah".

So here I am planning on hooking up later this evening and she texts me

Her- "hey I'm going to XXXXXXX. Please don't give me a strike or be mad. I really wanna go cause I've never been"

My jaw almost hit the floor. I thought about it, decided to keep my cool, and sent her a text back

Me- "Mad? Nah. It was nice hangin out w you but I don't have time 4 this. Have fun"

Can you believe the NERVE? So she responds

Her- "Are U joking? Wow. It's not even like we had definite plans. I'm sorry ur so angry. I really like you too"

So just what does it mean to have "definite plans" to a chick? I definitely planned on hanging out with her doing SOMETHING (preferrably FUKKING but thats beside the point). So I respond

Me- "I'm not pissed. I'm sure we will see each other around. Take care"

We have mutual friends, so chances are I will "see her around". Seems like we have no problem ending up in the same bed at the end of the night when we are all together in a group, but every time I make one on one plans with this chick she FLAKES and doesn't even think she's doing anything wrong. Do most other guys put up with this or something?

So she sends me this

Her- "Hey, I won't go! I'm sorry"

Me- "It's ok already made other plans. Have fun and be safe"

Her- "Don't wanna go anymore. Where's your store? Are you there?"

Didn't respond to her last message.

My, how the tables turn. She could very well be meeting up with some other dude, but I kinda doubt it. I honestly think that she feels that it is perfectly acceptable to make plans with someone then cancel last minute.

By the way she did a 180 I would almost think this was a sh!t test that I passed with flying colors, but I really think she's just a flaky b!tch that doesn't have any concept of how other people value their time.

Fukking women....

 

[RedPill]

:crackup: STR8UP you're cracking me up with your 'wtf?' reaction, given the title and topic of this thread. It's as if you were expecting better.

Most hot American girls have been spoiled rotten by a series of AFC daddies, boyfriends and our feminist society their entire lives. It can then be a real pain to have to retrain these byches from scratch, if that's even possible.

This sums it up well. Caveat emptor.

 

[STR8UP]

:crackup: STR8UP you're cracking me up with your 'wtf?' reaction, given the title and topic of this thread. It's as if you were expecting better.

As well as I KNOW, as much as I prepare myself, it never ceases to amaze me the utter lack of basic social etiquette people adhere to today.

Is this a case of lacking social etiquette, or a chick who is "spinning plates"? Who knows. But it's disrespectful any way you look at it in my book.

Even if I had the time or inclination to game multiple chicks at one time I couldn't bring myself to sink to that level. It's plain RUDE. And it bothers me even more the fact that I am guessing it's just that she doesn't KNOW any better. That's the disturbing part.

Oh well, I've established that she's at least halfway insane. I have all the information I need in front of me to know how to deal with her from now on, if I choose to even bother.

 

[Throttle]

seriously...google 'borderline personality', and realize you're better off w/o her games.

 

[grinder]

Although she sounds like a bit of a dim bulb, she sensed your pursuit and higher IL. The lure of kinky lesbian fun rose your IL. I’m glad you posted the follow-up because I think we all deal with this so often.

And, more importantly, and unfortunately, you will be hearing from and about her in your circle of friends. IMHO, this is where a true DJ shows his class. Dealing with her misinterpretation of the events which will inevitably occur. AND her regurgitation of this misinterpretation. There’s your real sh*t test.

The temptation is to cut the goddammed b*tch off, ice her out, and have no contact.

But, you know a true DJ does not do this. You are indifferent, you take some of her calls occasionally until they stop, and you are a total pro because you know ANY emotion you show will be validation for her.

And, the obvious you already know: plate theory once again, proves its worth to rescue your as* and keep your focus elsewhere.

Everyone does this differently, but my routine is to be super nice, but indifferent when I talk to them. This is where I coin a new pet name for them as in….”oh sweetie, its alright, it just didn’t’ work out…now…I gotta go….(fill in event or, preferably other girl) take care honey….”.

This blows their mind, you are using idiotic sickly-sweet (and slightly condescending) AFC terms but making it clear you will never see them again as you have a life and they aint in it.

You’ll have to excuse me if I’m interjecting my own current experience into this, as, about a month ago I had a similar thing happen with a HB9 at least. That was my weird “shoe” thread.

This girl still calls or emails me every single day. I am “nice” to her. It’s really hard because she is hotter than my current main plate. That makes it very tough.

This is important for “mature” men who realize that in our circle’s of friends and acquaintances we will continue to have to deal with these women in one way or the other. And one last thing before I get off my soapbox: although tempted, I never ever never say bad things about them even if I hate their guts. It shows class.

 

[STR8UP]

seriously...google 'borderline personality', and realize you're better off w/o her games.

There won't be any more games cause it's either gonna be her making ALL the effort and following through, -or- we keep it a "we're out with friends, you're drunk, I'm drunk, let's FUKK", -or- I go my way she goes hers. That's the beauty of having nothing to lose. You can make all the rules.

 

[STR8UP]

Although she sounds like a bit of a dim bulb, she sensed your pursuit and higher IL. The lure of kinky lesbian fun rose your IL.

I dunno, the more I think of it the more I think it might be another dude vying for her time. That's all good and fine but I'm not gonna be an on-call bench warmer.

And, more importantly, and unfortunately, you will be hearing from and about her in your circle of friends. IMHO, this is where a true DJ shows his class. Dealing with her misinterpretation of the events which will inevitably occur. AND her regurgitation of this misinterpretation. There’s your real sh*t test.

I talked to our mutual friend today. She would have given me any insight into this chick if she had any, but she was as dumbfounded as I am. Said she didn't think she was doing any other guys, but who knows.

The temptation is to cut the goddammed b*tch off, ice her out, and have no contact.

But, you know a true DJ does not do this. You are indifferent, you take some of her calls occasionally until they stop, and you are a total pro because you know ANY emotion you show will be validation for her.

I think that has to be the single most powerful weapon I have added to my arsenal in recent years; the ability to keep my cool when dealing with a chick who is trying to get you to lose it. They know how to handle the AFC who says "Yes maam, whatever you say my princess" and they know how to handle the guy who flies off the handle and tells her to "GO FUKK YOURSELF!", but they don;t know how to deal with a guy who walks away with a smile. Thats one of those Jedi mind tricks ANY man can use that works like magic.

And, the obvious you already know: plate theory once again, proves its worth to rescue your as* and keep your focus elsewhere.

Trust me, if I had the time or the inclination I would be running game on several plates. It's just not in the cards at this point.

Everyone does this differently, but my routine is to be super nice, but indifferent when I talk to them. This is where I coin a new pet name for them as in….”oh sweetie, its alright, it just didn’t’ work out…now…I gotta go….(fill in event or, preferably other girl) take care honey….”.

This blows their mind, you are using idiotic sickly-sweet (and slightly condescending) AFC terms but making it clear you will never see them again as you have a life and they aint in it.

Haha, that's funny cause one of the red flags this chick was sending up was her calling me "babe" right from the get go. I could see where taking this tone with them might help to prove your point.

This is important for “mature” men who realize that in our circle’s of friends and acquaintances we will continue to have to deal with these women in one way or the other. And one last thing before I get off my soapbox: although tempted, I never ever never say bad things about them even if I hate their guts. It shows class.

You're right, demeaning someone else only makes YOU look bad. I confided in our mutual friend to try to make some sense of this chick but she's loyal to me so no worries there.

Damn.....I'm putting way to much time into jabbering about this wishy washy flake....

 

[STR8UP]

**update**

So last night our mutual friend stopped by my place. She said, "why don't you call K?" So I said "What the hell" and called her.

So she ended up going out with us last night. Come to find out through our mutual friend that K already had plans to go out with friends (she didn't tell me this) and canceled them to hang with me. That was a surprise. She also kind of halfway apologized for being a flake.

Man, this chick's a FREAK.

We're heading to the bedroom and she tells me to grab my camera. I usually have to be in an LTR and get her drunk and delete the pics in front of her to get a chick naked in front of the camera, but this one WANTED me to get and KEEP pics. T!ts, a$$, pu$$y, EVERYTHING.

She also asked me if I wanted to see a picture of her friend who she "fukks from time to time". I was like "Uh....NO" But then she whips out a pic of a hot a$$ half naked chick on her phone. NICE! She likes to have sex with her girlfriends. Maybe she was sending out another "feeler" for a threesome??

I think I'm gonna bring her by the strip club sometime in the near future....

 

[decades]

I am pretty sure you won't appreciate this comment and will probably get defensive about it.

You are probably already in "too deep". its clear that this chick does fascinate you no matter how often you claim she means nothing. She already has been a disruption, you know she is a flake, yet your "neediness" for sex with her allows you to overlook all that. My sense is that things get crazier with her and you get pulled in much further than you ever intended. She mentally breaks you down and seems to be in charge of your "relationship".

Its not worth it. I know you think she is but in short order you are going to discover that its not. You seem to be attracted to dangerous damaged tawdry women, yes that includes bp women. You are a candidate to marry either a histrionic AW or a BP. The signs are all over the forums. Damaged crazy women turn you on and normal plain janes who could be good mates leave you cold as a cucumber.

You can't beat her because she has something that is "vital" to you and you give her nothing but attention. The only way you are going to win here is don't play anymore with damaged goods. Then if it were me, I would do a lot of self examination to figure out the attractiveness to you of getting together with such a dysfunctional person.

 

[mzilla2]

Personally, while freaky fun ones are great, I appreciate a good nights rest nowadays. Don't let the poossy run ya. Flaking just tells me they ain't that into ya...

From what I've read I wouldn't expect this chick to leave her friends, partying and the ego boost from all the supplicating guys at the bar... If you really want a piece, esp. late weekend nights, I suspect you're gonna have to make it a bit easier for her. Maybe text her yer meetin some buds or goin for a bite, and could be in her neck of the woods...

Plant the thought, make you a bit more available... Kinda like that uber gross hot dog vendor just outside the bar... Most folks wouldn't eat that sober, but late n drunk... And its there... ;0

(Not sayin yer not appealing, just most folks dont look more than a few feet in front of 'em - make sure you're in her sights...)

 

[STR8UP]

You are probably already in "too deep". its clear that this chick does fascinate you no matter how often you claim she means nothing.

Of course she holds some appeal to me, otherwise I wouldn't be putting anything into this.

She already has been a disruption, you know she is a flake, yet your "neediness" for sex with her allows you to overlook all that.

Need sex? No. Want sex with freaky chick? Yes. It's all about investment vs. return.

So far the return has been sufficient to warrant the investment. Since I put it out there that I don't tolerate the flakiness she has

1) Cancelled plans with her friends to hang with me last weekend
2) Initiated plans with me last night and actually followed through

Now she seems to know what I expect. We will see how it goes from here.

You seem to be attracted to dangerous damaged tawdry women, yes that includes bp women.

Not really. I generally find fairly well adjusted women, but there are a few notable exceptions

Then if it were me, I would do a lot of self examination to figure out the attractiveness to you of getting together with such a dysfunctional person.

Simple. She a hot, freaky, sex fiend. The dysfunction is an unfortunate byproduct!

 

[STR8UP]

Personally, while freaky fun ones are great, I appreciate a good nights rest nowadays. Don't let the poossy run ya. Flaking just tells me they ain't that into ya...

Like I said in my last post, I think I have set her straight.

From what I've read I wouldn't expect this chick to leave her friends, partying and the ego boost from all the supplicating guys at the bar... If you really want a piece, esp. late weekend nights, I suspect you're gonna have to make it a bit easier for her. Maybe text her yer meetin some buds or goin for a bite, and could be in her neck of the woods...

Plant the thought, make you a bit more available... Kinda like that uber gross hot dog vendor just outside the bar... Most folks wouldn't eat that sober, but late n drunk... And its there... ;0

Haha....that's funny. You have a point.

Went out with her for awhile last night and her interest seems to be pretty high, but she's always gonna be who she is (the type who doesn't place value on time) so I'll have to play the hand that's there.