Dealing with flakes....

[Colossus]

I am so tired of dating flakes. It always starts out well, then after a few weeks, blow-offs and inconsistency ensue.

Me: "So do you want to hang out tomorrow night"?
Her: "Yeah, definitely. Call me when you get home."

Next day...

Me: "Hey, what's up? What are you doing?"
Her: "Im out with the girls, I'll call you in an hour, k?"
Me: "K. Later."

1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours...no call. Flake.

This is an actual example to illustrate this repetitive pattern I experience. This seems to happen with good-looking girls (7-10) most often. Why is it so f*cking impossible to find integrity in keeping plans, or at least having the courtesy not to say "yes" if you are not going to follow through.

When I call them out on it they play the "I'm so sorry" card, which is really just an excuse to do it again, and again, and again. I usually end up dropping them out of frustration. I find that nothing I can say will really change their inconsistency.

 

[DJ HOSSIX]

Your Probably Just Another Nice Guy Who Doesnt Seem Like A Challenge To The Opposite Sex.

 

[JC9]

Their inconsistency is a result of your actions. Girls are flaky in general, but if you can't maintain their interest level in you, fix your game and don't blame them.

Just drop the girl and game the next one correctly. Eg: Don't supplicate, be a challenge, flirt/tease her, etc. All the stuff you did to get her must be maintained in various forms to keep her interested over a longer period of time.

Also, drop any girls immediately the first time they flakes for non legitimate reasons.

 

[MacAvoy]

Me: "So do you want to hang out tomorrow night"?
Her: "Yeah, definitely. Call me when you get home."

Next day...

Me: "Hey, what's up? What are you doing?"
Her: "Im out with the girls, I'll call you in an hour, k?"
Me: "K. Later."

1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours...no call. Flake.

One of the primary reasons I see is that your not making concrete plans with her. Your not being the man, taking charge, setting a time and specific activity. Saying "So do you want to hang out tomorrow night"? translates to I'm AFC, don't have the balls to come outright and ask you to do something so I'll ask this way for fear of rejection.

You have to be more aggressive in the way you treat them. Secondly as JC9 said, you have to increase their IL in you when you are spending time with you, and they'll be eating out of your hands, wondering and daydreaming about when they can see you again.

 

[Latinoman]

I am so tired of dating flakes. It always starts out well, then after a few weeks, blow-offs and inconsistency ensue.

Me: "So do you want to hang out tomorrow night"?
Her: "Yeah, definitely. Call me when you get home."

Me: "How would you feel if I take you out tomorrow night?"

 

[MatureDJ]

I tend to think that the best way to deal with a flake is to just let her assume that you think that her excuse is valid (i.e., innocent until proven guilty), and then put the ball in her court by alluding to the fact that you would like to hook up, and your sh!t is together enough to always hold appointments, but that it seems that her sh!t is so screwed up such that she is unreliable, and that this could cause her to lose her chance with a reliable man like you.

I just did something like that. A woman flaked out on me (dog ater her homework ...), but said that she wanted to get together again. I pinned down a date in the future, and sent a text message. She never responded within a day, so I calmly sent another text message saying that since she did not respond to my invitation, that I decided to make other plans. And of course, I have basically NEXTed her unless she comes back to me saying that she wants to meet, and actually holds a date. Remember, you want to be in a position where she knows that you are interested, but that she has to be the chaser. A flake is a perfect opportunity to put her in this position.

Of course, if she doesn't chase, then she is simply NEXTed once and for all. However, one problem with this approach is that the woman could turn out to be a serial flaker, in which case you'll hear some of the best lies you have ever heard.

 

[Macgyver]

Their inconsistency is a result of your actions. Girls are flaky in general, but if you can't maintain their interest level in you, fix your game and don't blame them.

Just drop the girl and game the next one correctly. Eg: Don't supplicate, be a challenge, flirt/tease her, etc. All the stuff you did to get her must be maintained in various forms to keep her interested over a longer period of time.

Also, drop any girls immediately the first time they flakes for non legitimate reasons.

Uh, since when did *WE* men have to be entertainment bots to women. Since when did *WE* men have to supplicate and be funny 24/7 to the woman. It's not entirely his fault nor is it entirely anyone elses fault. If she wasn't that attracted to him or felt comfortable with him and that's pretty much it. Dude, so many people including women place too much value on themselves, I'm sure they love sex as much as any dude and if they want to price their vaginas out then ditch their ass.

Dealing with flaky people, JUST DON'T DEAL WITH IT. Throw their number/delete their emails/etc. If it's awful hard to get them going out you in the first place or the last place, they'll keep doing it. It's kinda like trying to convince a fat ass on trying to lose weight, they just won't listen, so you should stop talking!

 

[JC9]

Uh, since when did *WE* men have to be entertainment bots to women. Since when did *WE* men have to supplicate and be funny 24/7 to the woman. It's not entirely his fault nor is it entirely anyone elses fault. If she wasn't that attracted to him or felt comfortable with him and that's pretty much it. Dude, so many people including women place too much value on themselves, I'm sure they love sex as much as any dude and if they want to price their vaginas out then ditch their ass.

Dealing with flaky people, JUST DON'T DEAL WITH IT. Throw their number/delete their emails/etc. If it's awful hard to get them going out you in the first place or the last place, they'll keep doing it. It's kinda like trying to convince a fat ass on trying to lose weight, they just won't listen, so you should stop talking!

It has nothing to do with being entertainment bots or supplicating. That is _why_ they are flaking.

In the initial post, Colossus mentions that he gets interest and things go well with girls for a few weeks. The reason they start losing interest, so regularly and consistently, is his game.

It will do him no good to think that those previous women were just flaky and that he just needs to luck out and find one that isn't. However, reviewing his interactions with those prior girls and figuring out where he went AFC and caused the attraction to fail will be.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops,


Macgyver...what you said in your post...GODD@MN right!!!!!

I too believe we put too much stock in thoughts like "OMG, what did I do wrong?" or "WTF, how did I blow it this time?".

True, we must all take responsibility for our actions. And as members of this board, we are armed with knowledge that many men don't even know exists. Let alone, many who do find out about this knowledge, still find it hard to believe that most women really are the way that they are. But I digress...

What I'm saying is...there is NO magic bullet. There is no PERFECT plan. There will always be something about our "game" that we could have played another way and maybe gotten better results. But guess what? That is not how the majority of our time shoud be spent.

You can tell alot about the quality of the "glue" that hold two people together by how little it takes for one to pull apart from the other (see LOSE INTEREST). Most of the time it's a classic case of one person feeling attraction for someone without perceiving them as having enough value. This is another definition of what creates the tendency of a babe to flake. And it's not ALWAYS our fault. Sometimes the babe is too shallow, and we're too good for her lame @ss.

There is a quote from the Bible (yes the REAL one...) that is appropriate here"
"Do not cast your pearls before swine."

Victory Unlimited's modern day translation:
"Don't show your good stuff to Pig-@ss B!tches!"

There is a fine line between self-evaluation and endlessly second-guessing yourself. One leads to improvement and the other leads to a downwardly spiraling depression. Make your choice.

The problem is that we need to realize that the vast majority of these biatches are nothing special---they just LOOK that way. Remember: at the end of the day, WE are the prize---not them. Even in this warped society, men have a much longer shelf life than women. With this in mind, treat them accordingly.

If you shoot your best shots at a babe and she loses interest, sometimes it's not your lack of game, it's HER lack of substance. Really, what the hell would you want with someone like that other than a short term fling. Her lack of substance or real compatability with you disqualifies her from being thought of in any other way.

I say use her for whenever, and for whatever she shows herself to be appropriate for and move on. There are always more babes to recruit and more SEX BOMBS to drop. At least until you FINALLY meet one that you don't have to perform like a SHOW DOG just to keep her around.

The mission continues...


Peace...one day.

 

[Bonhomme]

Good posts, Macguyer & VU. Stole the words right out of my typing finger.

Best thing to do is to develop the senses to know when to bail on the ones with shaky interest and keep striking the hot irons, so to speak.

 

[Vulpine]

"Do not cast your pearls before swine."

Victory Unlimited's modern day translation:
"Don't show your good stuff to Pig-@ss B!tches!"
...
The problem is that we need to realize that the vast majority of these biatches are nothing special---they just LOOK that way. Remember: at the end of the day, WE are the prize---not them. Even in this warped society, men have a much longer shelf life than women. With this in mind, treat them accordingly.

That is a wicked-awesome relation! Well done, very handy to keep in mind.

 

[Colossus]

Thanks for the replies.

I liked what Macguyver and VU had to say...it is NOT an man's job to be the entertainer. I dont believe I should have to perform for anyone, especially a girl. But, at the same time, there are ways I could build on my game and be a little more aggressive in setting plans. I'm generally pretty quiet, so it takes some effort for me to step out and be mr. social, and when I do its a bit of a facade anyway. I would rather be genuine and have nothing to say than be engaging with the motor of drunkeness or insincerity.

 

[Latinoman]

Me: "How would you feel if I take you out tomorrow night?"

My point...why even bother asking women "yes or no" questions? If you ask them the "yes" or "no" question...you are "empowering" them to determine what hobbies you should or must practice. Like somebody implied...you become their entertainer.

By asking open questions like "How would you feel if I take you out tomorrow night?" - you still have the power in addition to a bit of extra information. You see? If she says, "I would be very happy if we do this"...then it is up to you (your power) to decide if it is something YOU want to do with her.

These type of questions give the perception you are in control of your life and your relationship.

 

[Latinoman]

Thanks for the replies.

I liked what Macguyver and VU had to say...it is NOT an man's job to be the entertainer. I dont believe I should have to perform for anyone, especially a girl. But, at the same time, there are ways I could build on my game and be a little more aggressive in setting plans. I'm generally pretty quiet, so it takes some effort for me to step out and be mr. social, and when I do its a bit of a facade anyway. I would rather be genuine and have nothing to say than be engaging with the motor of drunkeness or insincerity.

Well...in bed...I perform for them. I give them the phuck of their lives. Make them remember for the rest of their lives who is THE MAN.