Atom Smasher said:
Just out of curiosity, is there any area of your life where you can't figure out why you don't do better with it? I'm asking in the interest of exploring the topic; I'm not trying to prove any point. You sound like a "just get 'er done" kind of guy, and I wonder if you have any kind of isolated issue(s) that you can't quite get a handle on.
I struggle with lots of things. But when you're in that situation you're talking about, where you "can't figure out why you don't do better with it", the problem is often not about "figuring it out" but more like a motivation problem. The very fact that you are
trying to figure it out, means you're despairing and losing faith. You must not allow yourself to do that, you have to persevere... Like someone else here said, you gotta assume the sale and
keep assuming it!
Colossus refuses to answer my question but I'll get into it anyway: It's not about putting enough effort into it, it's about perseverance and being convinced that you'll get there eventually. You can put all the effort you have into something but still fail and this can make you lose faith. That's where perseverance comes into play: you gotta persevere, keep making that effort, and be convinced that you'll succeed eventually. Many times when you start looking for a solution (like you are doing something wrong and need to change something), the "solution" is simply persevering.
Compare it to lifting weights: You can pick up a weight and put all your effort into it, but you won't be able to lift it more than 2 times. This could make you believe that you will
NEVER be able to lift it more than 2 times. "Look, I'm lifiting this goddamn weight everyday but I never get past 2 reps! I'll never make it!" You begin to despair and lose faith, which causes anxiety and sort of a 'panic' feeling: "I don't know what to do! I just can't get past 2 repetitions! Help!" But how long have you been doing this? 5 days? 10 days? 15 days? If you keep lifting that weight 2 times everyday for a longer time (say a month) you will get past 2 reps, eventually.
You see? You're putting in all your effort everyday but you can't get past two reps. So you start to despair and lose faith and don't know what to do. You'll say: "It's not an effort problem". Nope, but it's a perseverance problem. You gotta keep the faith, gotta be convinced that even though you won't make it at this moment, you will make it eventually, if you just keep putting all your effort into it
for a longer time.
DISCLAIMER (lol): I'm not saying perseverance is the be all end all solution to every problem you're dealing with. Sometimes you simply are doing it wrong and need to change your ways. Sometimes it is needed to look at conflicting beliefs inside of you etc. But that just depends on the situation you're dealing with, it's different for each situation you're dealing with in life. But whether the solution is to keep doing what you're doing, or whether you need to do something else, you always need to keep the faith, always be convinced that you'll get there eventually. Persevering doesn't neccesarily apply to keep doing more of the same thing and keep being convinced that you'll make it if you keep that up, it also applies to keep looking for a solution and keep being convinced that you'll find the solution. The following quote from Colossus has to do with that:
I think a lot of men go through these emotional and mental periods of 'wilderness', where it is dark, you're alone, and not sure if you'll ever make it out.
Not being sure if you'll ever make it out... You must never allow this thought, you gotta stay convinced that you'll make it. Even though you don't know how to make it at this point,
YOU KEEP PERSEVERING and you keep the faith, you stay convinced that you will make it somehow. You do not panic and let this "I don't know what to do! HELP! I don't see a way out! ALARM!! ALARM!!" feeling crawl up to you. You stay calm and keep going, you don't despair.
