Dealing with chicks with one-itis

[Matt Rogers]

I know this chick, friend of a friend, who has had one-itis for this guy for ages. She can only see him during holidays from uni, as he lives in her home town, and he seems to be stringing her along. Anyway, this has been going on for months from the sound of it, but recently she asked him whether he liked her, and he said that he did but thought it was better they were just friends. So it is fizzling out and hopefully she will have the sense to give up and move on.

Anyway, I am rather keen on her myself, and I know she quite likes me, but due to circumstances (her and her one-itis, and me having one-itis for another girl and dating her at the time) we have just been friends-flirting playfully and stuff. She doesn't know I like her in that way.

We are both on holiday for the next 5 weeks or so, and then we have exams and stuff, which makes things difficult. But after exams are over we are going to be staying at uni until graduation day which gives me some time to seduce her.

What is the best way to play things before then? I don't want to fall too far into the friendszone as previously as she was the friend of a friend we didn't see each other much and just flirted and teased each other.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Sounds like you've been playing it well so far. Keep your distance from this girl...yet, keep being that playful, flirty, kino applying guy that makes her wonder.

The best thing to do in this situation is to raise your social proof with other women. Go out with many girls, go out with many guys, go out to many parties...be the big man on campus. This will show the girl that you aren't a sappy, needy, clingy type of guy.

Also, don't tell her about your oneitis with your other girl. Don't tell her how sappy and how in love you are with the girl you were/are currently dating. Keep all conversations with the girl you are trying to get with sexually charged. Be a rock.

It comes down to desire again. She will desire you more when she realizes that you are desired by many other women. Up that social proof, keep confident, and most of all be patient.

A great neg/hit to test her waters about her one-itis for that guy is to ask her "when's the marriage?" or bust her balls a little bit and say things like "wow...you're such a cutie..too bad you're married"

If she responds with things like..."he doesn't own me" or "I'm not married.."

Then its a prettty good sign that she'll be your's in the near future.

If she responds with "Yea...I love him so much" or "yea...my man is the best"

Then...forget about it and next her.

 

[Maestro Monk]

I agree with Hpnotiq; you may also want to consider grabbing her digits and convincing her to hang out with you at a time of your choosing..if she refuses, cut the flirting until she convinces you otherwise. Just be sure to throw in the kino and C&F, and before you realize it, she will be down on her knees begging for your attention. have fun.

Regarding the social proof point that was mentioned above; more social proof is never a bad thing, but if you are both on vacation, there is likely little that can be done here..unless of course you can somehow set up a date with other chicks as well when you see her next. (ie pub or club).

If in time you are not exclusively dating her, keep the relationship simple, casual, and playful. Try also to convey that you two are nothing more than friends; this will drive most chicks wild. Just be patient if she's still recovering from her one-itis. May the force be with you.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Hey really great advice guys.

She is a weird girl in that she seems to develop these one-itis' for guys who see her as a friend if that. For example this guy she is obsessed over at the moment, they have been on a couple of dates, exchanged e-mails for a while, and had phone conversations but hardly anywhere near dating....and in their last conversation he basically told her he thinks it is best they are friends.

I make fun of her a lot (i call her conceited, make fun of her aerobics classes, say she is spoilt etc. and she reacts really well with mock anger and saying how cheeky I am). One time I was joking how I could never resist a pretty girl and she said "But you resist me......" I have not let myself get into the sharing feelings, friends trap and she knows little about me which is good. I know from her friend that she thinks I am "quite handsome" and when she found out I was bulking she tried to talk me out of it saying that I had a really nice body already. My only worry is that when she fancies a guy she tends to get all nervous and obsess and chase them, and I am not in that category yet. According to my friends though she has no idea I am interested in her (the one-itis acted as a smokescreen) and thinks I am naturally very flirty.

To my disadvantage she does know about my one-itis as she is friends with two of my friends. She also seems to have got an idea from somewhere (rightly as it happens) that I don't have a lot of experience with women and haven't had many girlfriends in the past, so developing the social proof might be a problem. Although if I get a few dates during the holiday i can mention it to my friends who will tell her!

The vacations thing does make it difficult. I suspect we will stay in touch via MSN, the odd phone call and e-mail...so I can keep up the flirting and test the waters in seeing whether she is over her one-itis.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
Hey really great advice guys.

She is a weird girl in that she seems to develop these one-itis' for guys who see her as a friend if that. For example this guy she is obsessed over at the moment, they have been on a couple of dates, exchanged e-mails for a while, and had phone conversations but hardly anywhere near dating....and in their last conversation he basically told her he thinks it is best they are friends.

Bro..this isn't weird at all. She desires what she can't have. Its very similar to what this whole DJ thing is all about. This guy puts her in the LJBF zone, so, she feels rejected. For all her beauty and sexiness is worthless to this guy...so what does she do? She tries even harder to get with him.

And what does this guy do? Becomes less needy, emails her less, puts HER in the LJBF zone...sound pretty familiar to that stuff we've been reading in the DJB eh?

So what should you do? Its a tough call...I don't think you're in the LJBF zone yet. What you have to do is become that guy she knows every girl wants. Go on dates...have fun...be seen a lot with many women. Another good thing you can do is tell her about how you had a ONS with some incredible girl that lasted all night long...candles...honey...whip cream...all the good stuff. Let her know that you are DESIRED by other women..

If she's like the typical young girl..her IL will be peaked...if not her curiousity about you.

Keep on working out...keep on neg hitting her. But by all means...DO NOT TELL HER YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER. Its not your job to tell her how you feel...your job is to make her want you...and telling her aint gonna raise interest level.

 

[christz]

i just wanna add, i've notice this is a growing thing where girls get hung up on there e/x boyfriends who by one fault or the others. they split ways either she split ways or he called it quits. The girl all the sudden developes oneitis and then fawns over old memorys of a certian guy they dated, most of the time long term.

I've had friends who kiss there new boyfriends goodnight just to turn around and cry about the one they don't have anymore because they want them back, and still obsesse over them.

tought stuff to deal with, but your right it comes down to they want what they can't have so they try there hardest to get the guy back.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
Bro..this isn't weird at all. She desires what she can't have. Its very similar to what this whole DJ thing is all about. This guy puts her in the LJBF zone, so, she feels rejected. For all her beauty and sexiness is worthless to this guy...so what does she do? She tries even harder to get with him.

And what does this guy do? Becomes less needy, emails her less, puts HER in the LJBF zone...sound pretty familiar to that stuff we've been reading in the DJB eh?

So what should you do? Its a tough call...I don't think you're in the LJBF zone yet. What you have to do is become that guy she knows every girl wants. Go on dates...have fun...be seen a lot with many women. Another good thing you can do is tell her about how you had a ONS with some incredible girl that lasted all night long...candles...honey...whip cream...all the good stuff. Let her know that you are DESIRED by other women..

If she's like the typical young girl..her IL will be peaked...if not her curiousity about you.

Keep on working out...keep on neg hitting her. But by all means...DO NOT TELL HER YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER. Its not your job to tell her how you feel...your job is to make her want you...and telling her aint gonna raise interest level.

we all want what we cant have kinda thing

 

[christz]

Originally posted by penkitten
we all want what we cant have kinda thing

but i've seen girls develop oneitis over guys THEY broke up with who just said ok well then i'm movieng on

makes NO sense, if they were so in love why'd they break up in the first place?