Dealing with bullies and fighting in High School.

[ElStud]

Well Freshman year in High School, I got bullied quite a bit. But I've been through it and I'm going to give some advice to you being bullied so that you don't make the same mistakes I did. Here it goes...

1. Ignore the bully unless he is physically harming you.

Ignore anything that the bully says. He says your a "loser", "fag", calls you names and sh*t, ignore him. Think about it this way, why do you care so much about what the bully says? The bully might 'act' like he's superior to you, but inside they're probably an assh*le who gets pleasure out of making fun of others and physically harming others. If what the bully says IS getting to you, your best bet is to report it to the office or something. Of course, that never worked for me. So just keep ignoring the guy.

2. Stand up for yourself.

At worse case scenario, if you've just had enough of the guys sh*t, stand up for yourself, that's what I did. Like I had this prick Freshman year who was always harassing me and threatening me and I just got tired of it, so I stood up for myself. I was actually doing pretty decent until his 'buttbuddy' came in and joined the situation. So basically his buttbuddy chin checks me, while the bully has me grappled. In the end I got off lucky, guy broke it up and luckily no staff members saw or atleast reported the fight. Point is, you're going to fight a guy it should be a last resort. After I stood up to this guy, he really stopped talking sh*t as much and threatening me as much. I went from rep as "Mike the little p*ssy dude who you can walk over" to "Mike the dude who will stand up to you if you try and walk over him". Standing up to him really helped my reputation, although nowadays I know rep really doesn't matter. Now that those guys left, the school really has become a better place.

3. Bullies are cowards.

Yep, bullies are generally cowards. You catch them without there buttbuddy gang members and they'll be scared as f*ck. See most bullies have a gang mentality where whenever they beat up a guy there friends will be helping. Point is bullies are cowards.

4. Don't get mad at the bully and don't take what the bully says personally.

Don't get mad at the bully and don't take their words personally. If you get mad at the bully, that means you care too much about what the bully thinks. And this is really what the bully wants you to do, get mad, see that what he's saying is getting to you. If anything, laugh it off or come back with a witty joke. Just don't get mad at the guy because that could lead to worse things like you fighting the guy out of anger, which will just make things worse.

5. Reasoning.

This never worked for me, but try reasoning with the bully. Try to understand why the guy hates you so much, try to understand why he wants to kick your ass. If that doesn't work and you've tried ignorning him and telling a higher authority, it's probably time to fight.

6. Fighting is a LAST RESORT.

Fighting the guy should be used as a last resort. Fighting should only be used when everything else like ignoring the guy, telling a person of higher power or trying to reason with the guy doesn't work. The reason fighting is a last resort is because it can cause severe physical damage to both people and if a person of higher authority hears about the fight, you could get suspended. If the fight gets TOO serious, it could result in one or both of the guys going to the hospital. Fighting is a serious thing, please only use it as a last resort and try and not fight over stupid sh*t.

So if you're getting bullied, there's some advice from a guy who's been there.

 

[HandyAndy]

I just carry a bazooka around school. No big deal.

 

[BigPoppa]

Work out, and don't ever try to ignore them. Bullies are like wild animals, when it seems like you fear them, their chasing instinct goes on. It's like what one of my friends said one time when he was about to fight this guy.

Well my friend isn't a bully, but there was this bully online that was talking shiet about my friend to my friend's girlfriend so they exchanged some words online so a month ago, we bumped into the guy at a beach so my friend confronted him. Well as you know, the bully had no backup with him so he was trying to act all cool and that's when my friend's animal instinct immediately turned on and kept on pressing to fight and this was what he said, "once you know you got them then you keep going."

Remember, the other guy is a bully and its better to stand up to him and show him you are more alpha rather than the other way around.

 

[ElStud]

Fighting is not more Alpha, if anything it shows how much of a beta male you are. It says you'd let something bother you SO MUCH that'd you'd have to fight over it. Fighting is not being more Alpha, it's being a macho pvssy.

 

[War Against Betaism]

If you're being picked on it's usually because you present yourself as a lower status person since you're an easy target. Bullies usually try to aim at kids in the lower tier of the social chain. Most of them are freshman regardless of your status, and there are some things you failed to mention when encountering a bully.

1) Immediately resolving the problem before it spreads. I remember as a freshman, some other freshmen tried picking on me. After a couple of seconds, I told them "Stop that sh1t right now." They said "What the fck?" and just left after that. You have to destroy the problem as soon as possible before it grows. You don't want it to build like "ignoring" the bully, which will turn into a nuclear bomb instead of what it originated as, a simple firecracker. Ignoring him will just piss him off. When you ignore a bully, not only does it piss him off, but it also portrays the message that you're scared of him BY ignoring him. Since you were affected by his actions, he'll feel like he has a bit of control over you, and he'll want to gain even more control. So in short, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF FIRST!!! Never ignore the bully.

2) Back up. If you're surrounded by people, the chances of you being picked on is almost zero. A large group of nerdy kids being picked on by one bully only happens in the movies. The only way you'd be picked on if you were in a group is if the bully had bully friends with him. A bully will almost never go in alone unless he himself has back up. The reason why you're much safer with back up is because while the bully will still have that small control over you like I mentioned in the first point, the bully will also have to control your other friends as well because you have connections. Think of it like a puzzle; if you were alone, the bully would have one piece to deal with. If you had ten friends, the bully now has to deal with eleven. The bully might flee because having to control so many targets might overwhelm him.

3) Don't portray yourself as a lower status person. This is going to be hard for some people, because changing yourself isn't going to happen overnight. Like I said before, the reason why bullies pick on kids in the first place is because they feel superior to those lower status students, and when we feel superior over people, we feel like we can control and manipulate them. The way bullies determine lower status people is usually by body language. If you slouch, have fast and giddy movements, do some weird stuff, etc. The only way to solve this problem is by changing the way you present yourself. Buy a book; in fact, there's a David DeAngelo book about presenting yourself as a more higher status person that's only eight pages long!

Follow these three points and you won't even have to reach the level of reporting to the office about being bullied on. Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I just came back from a party, I'm partly buzzed, but I just had to chip in my $0.10 here.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Fighting is not more Alpha, if anything it shows how much of a beta male you are. It says you'd let something bother you SO MUCH that'd you'd have to fight over it. Fighting is not being more Alpha, it's being a macho pvssy.

You really need to learn the basic principles of being a man.

 

[ElStud]

Yeah, read War of Betaism's posts too, it has some good points also.

However...

You really need to learn the basic principles of being a man.

Oh yeah, fighting over some kiddie sh*t and getting arrested/suspended/expelled is manly. If that's the case I don't want to be a man, I want to be a passive guy who's good with women. That "being a macho p*ssy is being a man" thing will eventually have you in jail. And then you'll wish you hadn't fought the guy over some stupid stuff. If the guy physically harms you of course you should fight him, but you should not be the one throwing the first blow. You should try to do everything in your power to STOP a fight from happening, because win or lose a fight, you'll still get in trouble. Trust me, I kicked the ass of this one guy who was pissing me off and though I won, I still felt like sh*t and I still got suspended. Nowadays no one tries to screw with me, but if they were to try and screw with me, I'd probably just laugh it off.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Yeah, read War of Betaism's posts too, it has some good points also.

However...


Oh yeah, fighting over some kiddie sh*t and getting arrested/suspended/expelled is manly. If that's the case I don't want to be a man, I want to be a passive guy who's good with women. That "being a macho p*ssy is being a man" thing will eventually have you in jail. And then you'll wish you hadn't fought the guy over some stupid stuff. If the guy physically harms you of course you should fight him, but you should not be the one throwing the first blow. You should try to do everything in your power to STOP a fight from happening, because win or lose a fight, you'll still get in trouble. Trust me, I kicked the ass of this one guy who was pissing me off and though I won, I still felt like sh*t and I still got suspended.

I really don't want to go into great detail using physiological examples and explanations why this is beta way of thinking, which is really not attractive to women, because it's impossible to change your stubborn mind and it'd be a waste of my time. Actually, what am I saying, you stated yourself you don't want to be a man.

 

[ElStud]

Yeah, well I'm staying out of jail that's all I know.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Yeah, well I'm staying out of jail that's all I know.

You do realize it's not a guaranteed to happen, and that if you follow the first point of my advice in the first place, you wouldn't have to worry yourself so much about it? The problem with your way of thinking is that you're associating man in the context of this topic with the gangsters, thugs, drug dealers, and possibly bullies you see locked up in juvee and jail.

Also, being a man is not standing up for yourself and using your fists when it's already too late. Your definition of an alpha male is severely skewed because of this way of thinking.

 

[hayabusa]

Nobody is above you,so why should you take **** from someone whos not above you even if that means you to fight the guy,if you show that you dont fear the guy,you dont fear the fight.He'll fear you.
Even if you take a beating make sure you hit him.

 

[Gamblor]

If you allow yourself to be bullied you will be bullied.
If you have heart you won't.

Back in high school I remember when the PSP first came out, I was at a new school and I had one. After school one day near the bus stop I passed by 10-15 wannabe e-thugs who would play dress-up in their favorite colours and make gay rap songs in their spare time.
Essentially they were *****made pussies. And I could see right through their flower ass.
Anyways, as Im walking by I see two kids from one of my class, I nod at them and they look at the floor so I already knew something was up. These faggots start trying to circle me saying **** like "Yo let me see your PSP" n ****. Some lanky ass ***** touches my knapsack and i smack his hand, look his ***** ass in the eye and say don't ****ing touch me. Now for some background at the time Im probably the smallest kid in my grade and this ***** might have like 2 feet on me. This ****ing ***** looks shocked and tries to push me. He pushes like a *****. I ****ing knock his ***** ass right back on his heels. The faggot looks around and says "Youre lucky my bus is here" trying to act as hard as he could. I laughed in his face and he and his *****made friends ran off.

*****es roll in packs because they don't have the heart to stand alone. These punks assumed cause I was small I would just ***** up and they would have an easy score, dividing my PSP between the 15 of them, however the **** that would work, ****ing idiots.

Anyways my point is, don't give anyone a ****ing inch. *****es want to look at you you look em in the eye like youre about to rip their ****ing heart out and squish it. They shove you you shove em back twice as hard. If they want to fight, you don't wait, you bomb first. You find the biggest mother****er there is and you smoke him in the nose, throat, eyes, temple and you don't ****ing stop until they're laid out or gone. BECOME A MADMAN AND YOU WILL BE FEARED AS ONE. Once the pussies see their *****made leader coughing up blood they won't try to step, they'll start running.

After all, if they really were hard, they wouldn't need to roll in packs.


Edit: Oh by the way, a couple months later, that same faggot ass lanky ***** was trying to turn onto a road near our school and i cut him off walking infront of his car, delaying him a couple seconds. As soon as he pulls out he crashes into some woman. Then he takes the plates off his car and gets into someone elses and peels off.

That faggot had to go to court over being a stupid cheap ***** who fled the scene.

Karmas a ***** aint it.

Oh yea, and none of those faggots ever looked me in the eye or ran their mouth again.

 

[HandyAndy]

one time a group of 300 spartans tried to jump me, no way was that gonna happen, i used my quick thinking and whipped out my bazooka while my buddies came to my side. We all beat up the spartans and got suspended from school, thats how the movie 300 got made....duh

 

[smooth guy]

If you're already a guy who stands up for himself not only will you not get bullied but you can also become friends with these "bullies." If you're getting picked on, it means you ARE a lower status person - meaning you're a weak or weaker personality.

Ignoring the bully will do **** - it will only piss them off more cuz you aren't giving 'em any attention and will bully you even more. You gotta be a bully yourself for a minute and think how you would act if you were bullying someone.

If you weren't a weak personality, and you did get picked on (which would probably never happen) the way you respond to them could change everything from that point on. So they picked on you for something...dont take it seriously - hit them back with a ****y comment about them. If you're sort of friendly and not defensive when doing that, you can create rapport with them.

Take it from a guy who never bullies anyone but has built rapport with these kind of guys. Getting along with everyone, even though you might probably never hang out, can make your life in high school and in life later on in general a whole lot easier. So man up a bit and don't be so stiff taking everything with a grain of salt.

War Against you're spot on with everything you said!

 

[ElStud]

Question is, why would you want to build rapport with these guys? I'm just saying it takes a real prick to be a bully, so why would you want to be friends with a prick?

 

[Kev07]

You're an idiot if you think you'd be sent to jail for fighting. Especially in HIGH SCHOOL

 

[smooth guy]

Question is, why would you want to build rapport with these guys? I'm just saying it takes a real prick to be a bully, so why would you want to be friends with a prick?

Because like I said, it will make your life in high school a whole lot easier.

It's a lot more practical than avoiding certain spots to go on breaks because of fear you will bump into these guys. It will generally make you feel more comfortable, and who knows you might need them sometimes. Take for instance this guy at my school, 19 years old and still in school, a real prick. Luckily I managed to build rapport with the guy when he was looking for a light at the beginning of the school year, and i was the one to hand it to him. From that point on it continued on small talk each time I saw him, until I built some sort of rapport with the guy, he knew who I was and I knew who he was. It didn't mean I would hang out with him, I don't hangout with such guys anyway. But a while back I was in a hurry to go some place and didn't have a ride...he happened to be right there with his motorcycle and gave me a ride saving me 30 minutes of walking.

Doesn't mean you must have a lighter on you...just learn to socialize with anyone and talk to people. Fine, some people you just wont be able to "click" with, but by being social with anyone will get you very far. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and be confident if you dont want to be bullied or even learning to deal with them further.

I think we got a little off the subject though. Basically just stand tall, you can tell when someone is a strong personality - if you man up you wont get bullied. And if you man up you will automatically know to handle them when it does happen. But personally I'd like being comfortable around them instead of avoiding them...and since I'm just a naturally social guy it makes my life much easier.

 

[The Sperminator]

I was bullied a lot by this one guy in 8th grade. I was really small and skinny so I was an easy target. Every damn day he would pick on me. I never did anything to him. I tried ignoring him didn't work. He would steal my food or push me around. I tried talking to him reasoning with him nothing worked. One day he pushed me hard. I told him to stop. He did it again. I told him this is my last warning. He pushed me again. I punched him right in the face. He came at me and I tackled him to the floor and punched him repeatedley in the face. I was pulled off of him. He never messed with me again. I'm a very passive guy and not violent at all but I did everything I could to avoid fighting him but it didn't work so violence was the only answer. He bullied me the whole year so I couldn't take it anymore. Sometimes violence does fix problems but you should only use it as a last resort.

 

[HandyAndy]

Just deck the **** out of anyone that messes with you

 

[Gamblor]

If you think you can't go to jail for fighting you're dumb as ****.

I went to jail for less than a shove.

Assault is defined as any touching that is unwanted.