Dealing with Break-ups

[Madvillain]

Im sure many of you had several break-ups in your lives and just wondering how you guys dealt with it. My girlfriend of 3 years and I just broke up and Im devestated, I cant go 30 seconds without thinking of her...she was my first real true love and now im totally lost without her. Any suggestions how to cope or even better suggestions to get her back?

Here is the barebones story i'll go into more detail later:

it was my fault we broke up. For over a year i've been working on building a company and I usually would put her second to my work. She kept telling me im loosing her and I did nothing about it. Long story short she finally had it and told me it was quits...I tried telling her I would change etc..etc but its no use still the same thing...so i ask is she worth chasing?

 

[MacDiddy]

pls tell us why you want her back when you could get other chicks that are a bit more supportive of your ambitions...

 

[Rage19]

i was noob

 

[darth yoda]

Sounds harsh, but mourn and move on...

try get her back, you dont find love often, DO EVERYTHING A WOMEN WOULD WANT YOU TO DO!!

This is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing I've ever read in this forum.

 

[Rage19]

hahahaha actually sarcasim, do the opposite think about it

 

[Rage19]

Re: Sounds harsh, but mourn and move on...

Originally posted by darth yoda
This is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing I've ever read in this forum.

wow a flamer ? are these common around here

 

[Create Reality]

Re: Sounds harsh, but mourn and move on...

Originally posted by darth yoda
This is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous thing I've ever read in this forum.

I think he was just describing how he used to be.

Madvillian, the well-endowed businessman knows the business is the mistress. The beginning stages are always the hardest and lots of times your exact situation happens, you both want different things out of life; she wants a secure future; he wants to be CEO megaman. There's risk in running a business and having her around, no matter how much you loved her is a liability.

 

[nishbuk]

Guy, first I just want to say that I feel your pain. I really, truly do. I just got DUMPED for the first time ever on monday. I let down my guard, and subconsciously threw my game in the trash. What happened? I ended up on the curb.
I know what it feels like to think that nothing will ever be better without that girl in your life. However the truth of the matter is that you should never feel like you HAVE to have a girl in your life. I know, 3 years is a long time to spend with someone and then to suddenly not have them anymore it's extremely hard to remember how to be happy being single. But my friend, that is what you have to do. Your ambitions and your life goals, are for you to fulfill. You should have a woman who is appreciative of that, and will support you in what you do. I wish there was something that I could do to help you get over this, but I know, as well as you, that you have to make that decision yourself to get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and make your life full, and complete, without a woman in it.

Seems like we are getting a lot of first time posters lately. Yet again, I will post the place you should start at for help:

Read this:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

All of it.

 

[Madvillain]

Ok here is the details:

After somewhat neglecting her due to concentrating on business and other things she began working with one of her friends (guy) thats known her for like 10 years. Anyways it turns out she developed a little crush on him and she told me she kissed him once while we were on a break. After being so hurt/pissed for a while I realized it was my fault that drove her away. Anyways since then i've tried doing all this romantic stuff like writing poems, songs, flowers...etc..etc. But all she says is that she loves me so much but not what I wanna hear is "lets work it out" anyways I went an entire week without contacting her and giving her the space she needed. But than she started calling me after a few days just to see how im doing etc. And she was worried that im totally over her and stuff. Completely contradicting her decsion to be alone. Anyways I saw her on friday and she was all over me. We ovbiously fooled around but before we did she asked me if i was ok with it and that i understood it didnt mean we're back together. I agreed...but man I miss her so much and want her back so bad

 

[realmz1]

well bro I was in the ALMOST EXACT situation....got dumped by a chicvk after 3.5 years and she had a *crush* on her co worker....I suggest keep things moving man...go out with friends...keep yourself occupied...when u think about her...make that motivation to go out and sarge...now that ur not together she wants to see if your still wrapped...as it was posted in here...girls hate it when they can't have something they once did...she is mind fvcking you...testing how much your still wrapped...do as I did cut all connections...get out....and do you....you're the only one that will look out and care for yourself....build the business and the chicks will fall in your palm....don't let her sidetrack you with BVllSh1t!

 

[Madvillain]

But I know shes a good person and I honestly love her. I just wish there was a way she would want to fix things.

 

[DrSassyPants]

It is tough man. I just broke up with my gf of a year and a half. I keep thinking of all the good times we had and how our relationship used to be perfect. But I just force myself to remember how crappy our relationship was towards the end and that it's for the best that we're not together anymore.

It's going to be tough if you keep fooling around with her and continue having that emotional attachment as a result. Break off all contact. It'll hurt at first but will be well worth it when you're over her.

 

[muttley]

heh Madvillian, i see your an MF Doom fan like me :>

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Madvillain
But I know shes a good person and I honestly love her. I just wish there was a way she would want to fix things.

Are you sure you are in a position to give her what she needs (understand, not "wants") for a relationship? Do you know what those things are?

 

[Madvillain]

Yes I know I can give her what she wants/needs. I know i can make her happy if she would just let me.

 

[BlackJackal]

I know breaking up with someone you been with and cared about for a long time is hard, but you got to let this go man. Trust me, stressing over this is going to do nothing but drive you crazy. Plus making you lose focus of whats truly important which is your career.

My father told me along time ago, that you cant control anything or anyone but yourself. Meaning people like your ex are gonna do what they're gonna do regardless of how you feel about it. 3 years is a long time but the cold truth is that it does'nt matter. Cause it's all about now.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You must get someone else. At a minimum, you must let her think that you have someone else. Don't tell, just imply.

She tested you:
before we did she asked me if i was ok with it and that i understood it didnt mean we're back together.

And you didn't exactly fail,
I agreed

But the next time this happens, or better yet before she gets a chance to say this, steal her frame. Explain to her that you don't want to hurt her, because you are not sure about committing to her. Turn the tables with reverse psychology.