Dealing with a woman who is hard headed in a relationship

[jnMissouri]

Despite being very feminine in looks and such, her sister and friends have told her she is very argumentative and masculine energy in behavior. I've now told her that too. Now she's feminine as well, but a few months in I see what her sister meant. She is argumentative. She doesn't like being told what to do, etc. She wants to argue. Even things she asks about that I tell her no to for her own safety she accepts but sometimes she argues and gives me attitude about it.

I'm not sure if these are **** tests or what. She could be hitting me with a barrage of back to back **** tests to see if I break and submit to HER will instead of being dominant. Now I know she likes masculine men not feminine ones so I have a feeling the second I submit she won't like it. But at the same time she has told me she doesn't like it when we argue all the time. I will admit I sometimes overreact but my friends who have over heard our calls have said that they see now she is the problem. She is immature and emotional, she doesn't think or reason well. Her own friends have told her that she told me.

I know she doesn't want to lose me because if I walk away or try to walk away she will change and submit. Even during arguments she will. I also do some things that piss her off when we argue that make things worse so I'm working on my intensity when I talk to her. But as my friends have told her, she doesn't realize she triggers me.

I've told her we can't have two leaders in the relationship. She says she's not trying to lead. But I told her sometimes when she argues with me it does seem as though she is trying to and I prefer as a masculine man, a feminine and submissive woman.

What can we do to get along? Not argue as much but have both our needs met? Like I said I think these could be **** tests to see if I bend. At the same time I know I shouldn't get upset and raise my voice which makes things worse. She has told me she doesn't like arguing like we do all the time lately. But her way of dealing with it is just shutting down and not talking about the issues. From my perspective and my friends, she is immature and doesn't know how to be an adult in a relationship. She's a very simple person. Rather than talking issues out she just wants to go shower and not talk about it, so as a result the issues keep coming up. We're almost through working through them as we now understand each others expectations of each other, but I would like her to be more submissive like she was when we first started dating. She had even told me she likes the fact that I planned dates, lead, am smarter than her. I told her then she needs to trust me to lead the relationship as an accomplished man because I have good judgement and have our best interests at heart.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP is she Italian?

 

[Plinco]

Despite being very feminine in looks and such, her sister and friends have told her she is very argumentative and masculine energy in behavior. I've now told her that too. Now she's feminine as well, but a few months in I see what her sister meant. She is argumentative. She doesn't like being told what to do, etc. She wants to argue. Even things she asks about that I tell her no to for her own safety she accepts but sometimes she argues and gives me attitude about it.

I'm not sure if these are **** tests or what. She could be hitting me with a barrage of back to back **** tests to see if I break and submit to HER will instead of being dominant. Now I know she likes masculine men not feminine ones so I have a feeling the second I submit she won't like it. But at the same time she has told me she doesn't like it when we argue all the time. I will admit I sometimes overreact but my friends who have over heard our calls have said that they see now she is the problem. She is immature and emotional, she doesn't think or reason well. Her own friends have told her that she told me.

I know she doesn't want to lose me because if I walk away or try to walk away she will change and submit. Even during arguments she will. I also do some things that piss her off when we argue that make things worse so I'm working on my intensity when I talk to her. But as my friends have told her, she doesn't realize she triggers me.

She knows exactly what she's doing. She acts bossy around you because she senses weakness in you. It sounds like to me you need to grow a pair.

 

[ubercat]

Look up what Doc Love thought of structured women. It will end and not well.

 

[jnMissouri]

She knows exactly what she's doing. She acts bossy around you because she senses weakness in you. It sounds like to me you need to grow a pair.

Ummmm...No you don't understand, I never even said anything about her telling me what to do. She does what I ask of HER, she just sometimes argues with me over it and gives me attitude about it sometimes. She complies, but it's a fight to get her to comply sometimes.

You need to learn how to read honestly...

Here is what I said, I have no idea how you could possibly interpret that as her being bossy. Welcome to the ignore list of time wasters...

She is argumentative. She doesn't like being told what to do, etc. She wants to argue. Even things she asks about that I tell her no to for her own safety she accepts but sometimes she argues and gives me attitude about it.

Basically she told me she grew up in a strict household and she doesn't like being told what to do.

 

[jnMissouri]

Look up what Doc Love thought of structured women. It will end and not well.

Structured women? She's only structured in her investments. I've never seen her more organized than in that stuff. She's meticulous in that stuff but otherwise she is as disorganized as they come.

 

[jnMissouri]

OP is she Italian?

Negative, she is Asian...in her culture (vietnamese) women are supposed to be submissive. She's very Americanized though and in business to be successful she became very hard headed....

 

[ubercat]

Mate if she is Vietnamese you actually have some chance of turning this around. Man up make yourself a lot more scarce and when you are with her be the leader. One of the best thing about Asian woman and there are many good things is that they value hard work. If you are busy I because you're trying to earn more money or improve yourself or improve your property she will be fine.

If you do it confidently and persistently that thin veneer of bvllsh1t feminism will peel off and her 3000 years of culture will reassert itself. You should also PM @Scaramouche He s had more rice pies than you ve had hot dinners.

 

[ubercat]

Ooh actually that is dangerous advice for you. Let me qualify it you have to be a good leader.

So flush your insecurities down the bwl where they belong stop monitoring the poor b**** and trying to control her every move

So if you tell her that we are going to an Italian restaurant tonight that's ok.

But good looks like this:

Hey so-and-so or some bloody TV show said this Italian joint is really great let's go there tomorrow.

If she says no I want a visit this noodle joint.

Yeah cool let's do that next week babe this week I m craving pizza I'll pick you up at 7.

If she makes a big ****en deal of it then say no worries babe you sound pretty busy I'll talk to you when you're feeling better bye and HANG UP.

like cats you're not going to get closeness by chasing them you have to be willing to walk that is always the bottom line

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Uber, "....Scaramouche He s had more rice pies than you've had hot dinners"...Oh dear I apologise if I have given anyone that idea...If you discount my recent Odyssey to the Philippines maybe only five,but three have proved "Keepers"...On Vietnamese Ladies in their native environment they can be devastatingly beautiful,but they are like the Scots and Irish,light the blue paper and stand your distance,for a thousand years they fought and held off Chinese incursions and did an amazing job on us as well!....I shared house with a high born Vietnamese while he completed a PhD,he moved his pedigreed Lady in and what a Wildcat she proved,even tried to scratch his eyes out...No best left alone...On the Mainland Chinese Ladies,yes a large proportion are calculating and pecuniary,but these are easily spotted...Can you work out what makes them tick?...Give you an example,One young Lady who moved in for a few years(Not a Lover)highly intelligent and submissive,I went away for the Weekend,came back and she had moved four shelves of Books from a Bookcase and replaced them with her shoes...Work that one out!
"....

 

[metalwater]

I know she doesn't want to lose me because if I walk away or try to walk away she will change and submit. Even during arguments she will. I also do some things that piss her off when we argue that make things worse so I'm working on my intensity when I talk to her. But as my friends have told her, she doesn't realize she triggers me.

I've told her we can't have two leaders in the relationship. She says she's not trying to lead. But I told her sometimes when she argues with me it does seem as though she is trying to and I prefer as a masculine man, a feminine and submissive woman.

is she arguing or questioning? those look similar to the one receiving.

she wants you to be certain and confident. hard to do when you are worried about her behavior of questioning your decisions.

the same girl, you asked about boundaries with before?

--
it sounds like she is submissive to you, she follows your instructions and wishes. removing the outside male attention was a good move on your part. but what is she getting now to make her feel energized? arguing is a way to get some feelings going. look for ways to convert the argument into nice feelings and definitely do not dig for the reasons of the argument. the reason is the tighter boundaries, that you need in this case. now a different source of energy is needed. you don't want other men to be the energy, and you don't want arguments, so put into place something you do want and if it's decent, she will likely just mold to it.

-make sure sex is good and often. if you have any issues with that get it fixed.
-does she have a goal to work on. perhaps you two will have a small business together that she runs and you watch over.
-go running with her. assuming you can lead in that.

 

[Thor’s hammer]

I don’t think her behavior is any kind of test. Her friends have already told what kind of person she is and you have seen it yourself. You need to accept that being argumentative and immature is part of her character and you can’t change it. What you can do is choose if you want to deal with her or not.

Why do you need to tell her not to do things for her own safety? Is she a child? Do not try to control her. Accept who she is and do your own judgement about her.

 

[manfrombelow]

She is argumentative. She doesn't like being told what to do, etc. She wants to argue.

In other words: Aggressive women.

Your question is how to deal with her?

The answer is you DON'T deal with her. You should only have casual sex with her while you still can, and go date other women from now. Do not see her as a girlfriend, but rather a plate.

Women like her are good for sex, but not suitable for any kind of LTR.

 

[indiff]

In other words: Aggressive women.

Your question is how to deal with her?

The answer is you DON'T deal with her. You should only have casual sex with her while you still can, and go date other women from now. Do not see her as a girlfriend, but rather a plate.

Women like her are good for sex, but not suitable for any kind of LTR.

i was in this situation with one of my exes a long time back and it's simple, really. I was trying to complicate my life by accepting her being bossy and masculine. I just decided that enough was enough and ended it. She apologized and begged that we gave it another shot but why try to change a woman when her natural state is to be bossy when she's with you.

 

[ubercat]

Idk guys. I ve got no use for bossy women but I think based on OPs posts I feel there are other factors at play.

 

[evan12]

Despite being very feminine in looks and such, her sister and friends have told her she is very argumentative and masculine energy in behavior. I've now told her that too. Now she's feminine as well, but a few months in I see what her sister meant. She is argumentative. She doesn't like being told what to do, etc. She wants to argue. Even things she asks about that I tell her no to for her own safety she accepts but sometimes she argues and gives me attitude about it.

I'm not sure if these are **** tests or what. She could be hitting me with a barrage of back to back **** tests to see if I break and submit to HER will instead of being dominant. Now I know she likes masculine men not feminine ones so I have a feeling the second I submit she won't like it. But at the same time she has told me she doesn't like it when we argue all the time. I will admit I sometimes overreact but my friends who have over heard our calls have said that they see now she is the problem. She is immature and emotional, she doesn't think or reason well. Her own friends have told her that she told me.

I know she doesn't want to lose me because if I walk away or try to walk away she will change and submit. Even during arguments she will. I also do some things that piss her off when we argue that make things worse so I'm working on my intensity when I talk to her. But as my friends have told her, she doesn't realize she triggers me.

I've told her we can't have two leaders in the relationship. She says she's not trying to lead. But I told her sometimes when she argues with me it does seem as though she is trying to and I prefer as a masculine man, a feminine and submissive woman.

What can we do to get along? Not argue as much but have both our needs met? Like I said I think these could be **** tests to see if I bend. At the same time I know I shouldn't get upset and raise my voice which makes things worse. She has told me she doesn't like arguing like we do all the time lately. But her way of dealing with it is just shutting down and not talking about the issues. From my perspective and my friends, she is immature and doesn't know how to be an adult in a relationship. She's a very simple person. Rather than talking issues out she just wants to go shower and not talk about it, so as a result the issues keep coming up. We're almost through working through them as we now understand each others expectations of each other, but I would like her to be more submissive like she was when we first started dating. She had even told me she likes the fact that I planned dates, lead, am smarter than her. I told her then she needs to trust me to lead the relationship as an accomplished man because I have good judgement and have our best interests at heart.

She is maybe trying to prove herself, maybe try to show her her opinions are good so she feel more confidant and argue less

 

[Manystyles]

OP is she Italian?

Or latina lol

 

[RickTheToad]

You ain't got time for that. Put her on check and inform her if she continues to act this way and be disrespectful, you're done.

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

Sounds like she's starting to revolt. This is the same one where you set all the boundaries and ask a million times the same question right? Either she's already tired of your insecurities or she's naturally argumentative. Or a combination of both. Someone like that is just tiring to deal with.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She sounds like a pain. If she doesn´t want sex as much or more often then you then the juice is not worth the squeeze. Start looking to other options and monkey-branch.