filerfiler
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2025
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 12
So the situation was the previous girl is still ongoing...
We are now seeing each other once every 5 days or so, on my terms. She remains super clingy though in a way that sometimes turns me off. There is no way in hell I'm going to girlfriend this girl - recreational use only like somebody said in the other thread, and we both agreed on that. The demanding via text has stopped but she still seems a little too insecure to me in a way that is offputting. I also discovered she likes to keep an army of shmucks around her orbit (which is an indication of insecurity). She was all too happy to talk about how she exploits them.... She literally came out of an expensive theatre show someone took her to, to come straight to my place...
At the same time I've been dating this other 26 year old early professional...
1) She is supremely confident. Like complete opposite of this other girl. Carries herself extremely well. She doesn't try to qualify herself, and I sense she is ultra aware of her image.
In text, so far, the only texts we exchange are logistics about meets - that is all, very dry in text. We agree date logistics 4-5 days before a date, and she just turns up on time as we agreed without even the need to further confirm after the agreement. I love it.
We meet once a week. She has shown no desire to meet any more often, if anything an indication that it's ok for her. She has show slight resistance to any hint that we might meet more often.
I've seen her a grand total of 6 times. f-close on the third date. Actually it could happened on the 2nd date but I didn't have the logistics at the time. And I literally thought I blew it because it was quite clear she wanted to come to my place and I told her I couldn't (no privacy at the time). In my experience a lot of girls will be extremely insecure at this but she was fine, which increased her stature in my eyes a bit.
2) She has her choice of men and she knows it. And therefore she is no hurry for anything. She talks vaguely of future plans but she is extremely careful to never overcommit herself. Whenever future possibilities come up she talks about them in a way that disqualifies. e.g. "I don't think you're ready to settle are you". or "you don't like having more kids do you". To me it seems like she's testing what I want with her, and she is used to men qualifying themselves back. I swat these tests straight away and i never qualify back, and I think that's the right thing to do. In a way I'd like her to show her hand first because I sense that if I indicate too much attachment and future plans she'll feel trapped and bolt.
3) She is however, quite compliant and non-resistant in a feminine and confident way. She is extremely pleasant and polite in person. 100% follows my lead, but is confident enough to state what she wants in a clear and blunt way and I like that.
I tell her to show up at a certain at a certain time, and everything else is me and she's in for the ride. She doesn't try to resist or one up me or anything like that. I have the dates planned out and all goes well according to plan.
e.g. as a test in a change of venues i told her we're going to walk an hour to our next destination, and although I sensed unease on her face she was happy to comply, then when we showed up to our next venue literally 1 minute later I cracked a joke about it and we had a laugh.
4) In my eyes she's prettier than the other girl. She's almost as tall as me and a bit of a head turner - almost always the standout in any group. At my age 41 I thought I never had it in me but on the first time she came over to my place I never thought I could do that many rounds in a single night since I was in my early 20s. She turns me on quite a bit.
5) Before you flame me for the age gap - i don't give a ****. I didn't know her age before dating her, and she seems to enjoy the gap. On our second date, she asked me what I think about the age gap, I said "I don't even think about it, but for me you've got to have some emotional intelligence and in my experience age, although a factor, it doesn't define that". I then asked her "anything you want to tell me about it?" and she said "no". That was the end of it. We do tease each other sometimes about generational differences in taste in a hilarious way.
6) I'm finding it very difficult to get a read on her as a person. Although she's pleasant and feminine, I can't tell whether she sleeps around for example, whether I'm just one of many she's rotating. She has given me no hint either way, but every time she mentions something she is doing she only talks about girl friends.
Also the non-clinginess, although a plus in my book, I'm finding it difficult to interpret. Is she just confident? is this all fake? she claims to never had a long term relationship - which at her age is what the **** worthy, although she has had to travel a lot for family reasons.
In person she's extremely touchy, doting, etc... in text like I said - 100% logistics.
She hasn't shown any desire to self invest more, and so far it seems like she can break it any time she wants. This I admit is a bit difficult for me to handle, having been firmly in control of previous relationships I've had.
I'm thinking to just continue being easy, seeing her once a week or so, but I have no ideas on how to ramp up the tempo, as this seems like something that will possibly fizzle out slowly if not upped up...
am I reading too much into her behavior and too scared to progress things... In my experience though you lose a lot of respect and stature by being too eager...
So why this post, just looking out for thoughts or your read on this situation given past experiences with this type/calibre of women...Yall have given me very good input in the last thread.
We are now seeing each other once every 5 days or so, on my terms. She remains super clingy though in a way that sometimes turns me off. There is no way in hell I'm going to girlfriend this girl - recreational use only like somebody said in the other thread, and we both agreed on that. The demanding via text has stopped but she still seems a little too insecure to me in a way that is offputting. I also discovered she likes to keep an army of shmucks around her orbit (which is an indication of insecurity). She was all too happy to talk about how she exploits them.... She literally came out of an expensive theatre show someone took her to, to come straight to my place...
At the same time I've been dating this other 26 year old early professional...
1) She is supremely confident. Like complete opposite of this other girl. Carries herself extremely well. She doesn't try to qualify herself, and I sense she is ultra aware of her image.
In text, so far, the only texts we exchange are logistics about meets - that is all, very dry in text. We agree date logistics 4-5 days before a date, and she just turns up on time as we agreed without even the need to further confirm after the agreement. I love it.
We meet once a week. She has shown no desire to meet any more often, if anything an indication that it's ok for her. She has show slight resistance to any hint that we might meet more often.
I've seen her a grand total of 6 times. f-close on the third date. Actually it could happened on the 2nd date but I didn't have the logistics at the time. And I literally thought I blew it because it was quite clear she wanted to come to my place and I told her I couldn't (no privacy at the time). In my experience a lot of girls will be extremely insecure at this but she was fine, which increased her stature in my eyes a bit.
2) She has her choice of men and she knows it. And therefore she is no hurry for anything. She talks vaguely of future plans but she is extremely careful to never overcommit herself. Whenever future possibilities come up she talks about them in a way that disqualifies. e.g. "I don't think you're ready to settle are you". or "you don't like having more kids do you". To me it seems like she's testing what I want with her, and she is used to men qualifying themselves back. I swat these tests straight away and i never qualify back, and I think that's the right thing to do. In a way I'd like her to show her hand first because I sense that if I indicate too much attachment and future plans she'll feel trapped and bolt.
3) She is however, quite compliant and non-resistant in a feminine and confident way. She is extremely pleasant and polite in person. 100% follows my lead, but is confident enough to state what she wants in a clear and blunt way and I like that.
I tell her to show up at a certain at a certain time, and everything else is me and she's in for the ride. She doesn't try to resist or one up me or anything like that. I have the dates planned out and all goes well according to plan.
e.g. as a test in a change of venues i told her we're going to walk an hour to our next destination, and although I sensed unease on her face she was happy to comply, then when we showed up to our next venue literally 1 minute later I cracked a joke about it and we had a laugh.
4) In my eyes she's prettier than the other girl. She's almost as tall as me and a bit of a head turner - almost always the standout in any group. At my age 41 I thought I never had it in me but on the first time she came over to my place I never thought I could do that many rounds in a single night since I was in my early 20s. She turns me on quite a bit.
5) Before you flame me for the age gap - i don't give a ****. I didn't know her age before dating her, and she seems to enjoy the gap. On our second date, she asked me what I think about the age gap, I said "I don't even think about it, but for me you've got to have some emotional intelligence and in my experience age, although a factor, it doesn't define that". I then asked her "anything you want to tell me about it?" and she said "no". That was the end of it. We do tease each other sometimes about generational differences in taste in a hilarious way.
6) I'm finding it very difficult to get a read on her as a person. Although she's pleasant and feminine, I can't tell whether she sleeps around for example, whether I'm just one of many she's rotating. She has given me no hint either way, but every time she mentions something she is doing she only talks about girl friends.
Also the non-clinginess, although a plus in my book, I'm finding it difficult to interpret. Is she just confident? is this all fake? she claims to never had a long term relationship - which at her age is what the **** worthy, although she has had to travel a lot for family reasons.
In person she's extremely touchy, doting, etc... in text like I said - 100% logistics.
She hasn't shown any desire to self invest more, and so far it seems like she can break it any time she wants. This I admit is a bit difficult for me to handle, having been firmly in control of previous relationships I've had.
I'm thinking to just continue being easy, seeing her once a week or so, but I have no ideas on how to ramp up the tempo, as this seems like something that will possibly fizzle out slowly if not upped up...
am I reading too much into her behavior and too scared to progress things... In my experience though you lose a lot of respect and stature by being too eager...
So why this post, just looking out for thoughts or your read on this situation given past experiences with this type/calibre of women...Yall have given me very good input in the last thread.
