Dealing With A Flake. Should I Re-Engage?

[jamesfromhouston]

Sorry to revive my own thread but I thought I'd post an update here to educate my future self and others that might be in this predicament and are tempted to re-engage with a flake.

I did end up attempting to re-engage with this flake after almost a month.

I messaged her over the weekend. At this point, I thought there was nothing to lose. Might as well try my luck and see how things are. I could learn from this.

I thought perhaps by 'freezing her out' her IL would hike again. To make things more encouraging, she was actively stalking me on my socials.

So I asked her out again. Once again same outcome. Slow reply. She told me she was busy with no counter offer. I deleted her phone number for good after this and cut her out.

It's quite surprising that we went from having hot sex to her suddenly flaking me and now just treating me like a non-existent corpse.

I learnt 2 things from this:

1) If the girl flakes with no counter offer, even if there was intensity between the two of you, it's basically a goner. The point at which she flakes indicates everything you need to know. Your mind might fight to deny it but the IL is gone. Girls don't flake on guys they have high IL for.

2) Time does not truly reignite IL or create second chances unless she reaches out to you. If she does not, you're deluding yourself and grabbing at straws.

3) With women, nothing is permanent, unexpected change can go from 100 degrees hot to -100 degrees cold in a blink of an eye. Until today I do not know why she suddenly became cold, (could be another guy in the picture or something I did) I will never know but who cares.

4) Social media behavior means nothing. Time and time again I feel girls use it to capture your attention, stalk and nothing more. Don't read into it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe she didn't think you were that good in the sack?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe she didn't think you were that good in the sack?

Most guys think they do better than they do.

 

[Solomon]

Maybe she didn't think you were that good in the sack?

This isn't talked about enough on this forum because everyone is a sex Monster here (lmfaooo), but I'll be honest there are nights sometimes when the gun misfires if you know what I mean and you will never see the girl again, doesn't matter a bad performance for most women is a deal breaker

However, there are situations where you crack a girl's back and she will do whatever for you.

I'm at that age where I prefer to get to know the girl first and stimulate her mind, having sex just to have sex doesn't do anything for me where i'm at currently. I rather have an emotional connection and stimulating conversation first. I know this may sound corny and lame but for high IQ folks this will make sense

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm at that age where I prefer to get to know the girl first and stimulate her mind, having sex just to have sex doesn't do anything for me where i'm at currently. I rather have an emotional connection and stimulating conversation first. I know this may sound corny and lame but for high IQ folks this will make sense

Most men with a little experience prefer a thinking woman over a human sex doll.

 

[TheGambino]

Sorry to revive my own thread but I thought I'd post an update here to educate my future self and others that might be in this predicament and are tempted to re-engage with a flake.

I did end up attempting to re-engage with this flake after almost a month.

I messaged her over the weekend. At this point, I thought there was nothing to lose. Might as well try my luck and see how things are. I could learn from this.

I thought perhaps by 'freezing her out' her IL would hike again. To make things more encouraging, she was actively stalking me on my socials.

So I asked her out again. Once again same outcome. Slow reply. She told me she was busy with no counter offer. I deleted her phone number for good after this and cut her out.

It's quite surprising that we went from having hot sex to her suddenly flaking me and now just treating me like a non-existent corpse.

I learnt 2 things from this:

1) If the girl flakes with no counter offer, even if there was intensity between the two of you, it's basically a goner. The point at which she flakes indicates everything you need to know. Your mind might fight to deny it but the IL is gone. Girls don't flake on guys they have high IL for.

2) Time does not truly reignite IL or create second chances unless she reaches out to you. If she does not, you're deluding yourself and grabbing at straws.

3) With women, nothing is permanent, unexpected change can go from 100 degrees hot to -100 degrees cold in a blink of an eye. Until today I do not know why she suddenly became cold, (could be another guy in the picture or something I did) I will never know but who cares.

4) Social media behavior means nothing. Time and time again I feel girls use it to capture your attention, stalk and nothing more. Don't read into it.

Yeah, girls that give no counter offer or seem busy all of a sudden are turned off by something. Or another guy in the picture. Don’t chase, pull back and talk to other women. If she comes back proceed with caution if not she wasn’t so interested. Harsh truth. Girls with high il won’t confuse you.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Maybe she didn't think you were that good in the sack?

Potentially. Who knows! I enjoyed it. Maybe she didn't.

This isn't talked about enough on this forum because everyone is a sex Monster here (lmfaooo), but I'll be honest there are nights sometimes when the gun misfires if you know what I mean and you will never see the girl again, doesn't matter a bad performance for most women is a deal breaker

However, there are situations where you crack a girl's back and she will do whatever for you.

I'm at that age where I prefer to get to know the girl first and stimulate her mind, having sex just to have sex doesn't do anything for me where i'm at currently. I rather have an emotional connection and stimulating conversation first. I know this may sound corny and lame but for high IQ folks this will make sense

I've experienced something like this recently, even started a thread about it. A while back with another plate, who was basically a 9, I just could not get hard during our first hook up. I felt like **** because she tried so hard but we were just laying there for a good hour and things just couldn't get on. At the time, I drank a lot prior because we were drinking together. I genuinely thought I blew it. But her IL for me was high because when I sought her out again later, she agreed to come out with me and we finally hooked up properly. She admitted during our first failed hook up, she thought that I was not attracted to her and was very disappointed. I guess my point is if the girl is really into you (with high IL), bad sex doesn't necessarily mean immediate pass.

Yeah, girls that give no counter offer or seem busy all of a sudden are turned off by something. Or another guy in the picture. Don’t chase, pull back and talk to other women. If she comes back proceed with caution if not she wasn’t so interested. Harsh truth. Girls with high il won’t confuse you.

I am starting to see this as the truth. Funny how I found this hard to accept. But there really is no other way. The general rule stays true: If a girl flakes = next unless proven wrong by her.

But I guess the bigger thing for people to takeaway from this (including my future self) is that social media behavior (and in fact any other sort of bread crumbing) doesn't mean much short of her actually reaching out. Don't delude yourself folks.

 

[Learning Curve]

It's quite surprising that we went from having hot sex to her suddenly flaking me and now just treating me like a non-existent corpse.

No surprises at all.

This is the new era with women. Get used to it.

Women can be hot on one day and cold on the next day to the the point of disappearing. Most likely she found another guy.

I had a chick I was dating for 6 months, all good and flowing. Suddenly she disappeared, ghosted me, and never contacted me again.

I have seen it all. I don't trust women, i don't have to. they are all the same in my eyes. Once they get bored, they are long-gone.

It's the new world we live in. Everyone cares about their own emotional stability and happiness.