Dealing with a combative woman, draining

[john1234]

Long story short, I’ve been seeing this girl, and lately she’s gone back to being combative disagreeing over even the simplest conversations. The crazy part is, she’s always wrong. It's become exhausting and I deserve peace and hapiness not a tense warzone conversation based on basic things.

 

[Barrister]

Agreed you deserve all those things. Life is too short to let a woman drain your life energy.

So, what are you going to do about it? When things get to this point they generally don’t get better. You probably need to exit now or at least acknowledge your time on the ride is over. Get out of that messy situation. It may take some time to fully get over her but it will be 100% worth it.

Good luck, brother.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You don't date these women, you walk away from them.

Stop being a sadomasochist.

 

[Clockwerk50]

There are probably three reasons why this is happening:

1. You may not be leading effectively, and she’s starting to doubt whether you can guide both of you toward a secure future. When a woman can’t trust your leadership, she struggles to relax into her feminine energy, so she stays combative and keeps testing you.
2. Another man in the picture. She may have started comparing you to someone else she sees as a better option, consciously or subconsciously. This builds frustration toward you and creates distance.
3. You’ve likely shown too many anti-seductive traits, things like insecurity, stinginess, impatience, or lack of attentiveness, among others. As a result, the relationship has lost its spark and no longer feels fun or exciting for either of you.

 

[plumber]

lately she’s gone back to being combative disagreeing over even the simplest conversations.

this sounds like it has happened before. she gets nice and then she gets like this.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Some women are just plain bytches. Run, don't walk.

 

[john1234]

There are probably three reasons why this is happening:

1. You may not be leading effectively, and she’s starting to doubt whether you can guide both of you toward a secure future. When a woman can’t trust your leadership, she struggles to relax into her feminine energy, so she stays combative and keeps testing you.
2. Another man in the picture. She may have started comparing you to someone else she sees as a better option, consciously or subconsciously. This builds frustration toward you and creates distance.
3. You’ve likely shown too many anti-seductive traits, things like insecurity, stinginess, impatience, or lack of attentiveness, among others. As a result, the relationship has lost its spark and no longer feels fun or exciting for either of you.

Leadership , Nothing has really changed. Money’s good, she still helps around the house (cooking, cleaning, dishes) and I appreciate that.
She’s been dropping hints about marriage — I’m not against it, but I’ve been clear: I need years of peace and no arguments first. She’s even said if I proposed, it would be a no-brainer yes which I think came across pushy. But that comment was only once last year maybe more . Watching TV the other day, she even made comments like "if this was our kid..." even though she’s on the pill.

Lack of attentiveness ,Fair point. I’ve been busy with work and honestly just enjoying my own space and downtime, but stepping up time with her a little. I find too much female attention annoying, I need space sometimes.

Another man, ok. I recently encouraged her to hit the gym more so she's out a few evenings a week, but otherwise, she’s still very clingy. Without the gym, we'd be stuck together almost 24/7. I'm not really even seeing the gym results on her so much.

You think she is banging the instructor.

 

[john1234]

this sounds like it has happened before. she gets nice and then she gets like this.

Yeah, it’s starting to look like a pattern , sometimes after she sees her sister (and her sister’s man), she comes back acting different.

From what I know, the guy’s a pushover now living at their mum’s house with the sister and has a couple of other kids from old marriage living else where, he proposed to the sister too and my girl was telling me about the proposal. It sounds like the sister completely runs the show and wears the trousers in that relationship.

It also feels like she’s always trying to one-up her sister somehow, like there’s some hidden competition going on.

I wouldn't stand for stuff like that. I’m not built to be bossed around or dragged into anyone else’s drama.

 

[Isildur1]

Just approach other women it really is that simple- there are plenty of decent women out there

 

[Solomon]

Is she super hot?
Combative women in my experience also tend to be women who nag a lot doesn't mean it's always the case
Personally, in my big old age, I just don't have time to deal with them

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah, it’s starting to look like a pattern , sometimes after she sees her sister (and her sister’s man), she comes back acting different.

From what I know, the guy’s a pushover now living at their mum’s house with the sister and has a couple of other kids from old marriage living else where, he proposed to the sister too and my girl was telling me about the proposal. It sounds like the sister completely runs the show and wears the trousers in that relationship.

It also feels like she’s always trying to one-up her sister somehow, like there’s some hidden competition going on.

I wouldn't stand for stuff like that. I’m not built to be bossed around or dragged into anyone else’s drama.

But yet this continues to go on and you are still with her.

When people tell you who they are, always believe them.

 

[Barrister]

Leadership , Nothing has really changed. Money’s good, she still helps around the house (cooking, cleaning, dishes) and I appreciate that.
She’s been dropping hints about marriage — I’m not against it, but I’ve been clear: I need years of peace and no arguments first. She’s even said if I proposed, it would be a no-brainer yes which I think came across pushy. But that comment was only once last year maybe more . Watching TV the other day, she even made comments like "if this was our kid..." even though she’s on the pill.

Lack of attentiveness ,Fair point. I’ve been busy with work and honestly just enjoying my own space and downtime, but stepping up time with her a little. I find too much female attention annoying, I need space sometimes.

Another man, ok. I recently encouraged her to hit the gym more so she's out a few evenings a week, but otherwise, she’s still very clingy. Without the gym, we'd be stuck together almost 24/7. I'm not really even seeing the gym results on her so much.

You think she is banging the instructor.

Reading between the lines it sounds like she is acting out in frustration because she doesn't have the ring yet from you. She is dropping hints all over the place that this is what she wants and you aren't giving it to her after reading this additional info.

That doesn't mean you propose to her (obviously). How long have you been with her now? Most women are going to want the ring after a certain period of time. Looks like she is there. She likely will either become absolutely unbearable to be around (which seems to be happening), or she will eventually begin putting out feelers to exit and monkey branch.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Reading between the lines it sounds like she is acting out in frustration because she doesn't have the ring yet from you. She is dropping hints all over the place that this is what she wants and you aren't giving it to her after reading this additional info.

That doesn't mean you propose to her (obviously). How long have you been with her now? Most women are going to want the ring after a certain period of time. Looks like she is there. She likely will either become absolutely unbearable to be around (which seems to be happening), or she will eventually begin putting out feelers to exit and monkey branch.

Never understood guys who want to be with a woman for long periods of time without marrying them, as if they are one day going to just forget about that.

 

[The Duke]

Never understood guys who want to be with a woman for long periods of time without marrying them, as if they are one day going to just forget about that.

No point in marriage. No need to complicate your life if it's not necessary. A marriage contract isnt going to benefit me by any means.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No point in marriage. No need to complicate your life if it's not necessary. A marriage contract isnt going to benefit me by any means.

I'm not saying there is, I am saying that you have to accept the timeframe that you have with a woman then.

You can't both not want marriage and think things are going to be good for 40 years without it.

Unless you hit the lottery and find a woman that is fine with that which is highly unlikely.

Even if they claim they are, resentment will build over time regardless.

 

[Barrister]

No point in marriage. No need to complicate your life if it's not necessary. A marriage contract isnt going to benefit me by any means.

Yes, let's all be clear here no one is telling OP he needs to marry this chick. It is just very obvious from his additional posts that this chick is ready for him to sh1t or get off the pot. Hence her bad behavior -- because that is what 99% of women do -- they act out rather than have a grown up, adult conversation about why they are unhappy and asking point blank why she and OP aren't married yet.

Sounds like OP needs to just exit. She is making him miserable and he isn't willing to give her what she wants. No-brainer really.

 

[plumber]

Yeah, it’s starting to look like a pattern , sometimes after she sees her sister (and her sister’s man), she comes back acting different.

From what I know, the guy’s a pushover now living at their mum’s house with the sister and has a couple of other kids from old marriage living else where, he proposed to the sister too and my girl was telling me about the proposal. It sounds like the sister completely runs the show and wears the trousers in that relationship.

It also feels like she’s always trying to one-up her sister somehow, like there’s some hidden competition going on.

I wouldn't stand for stuff like that. I’m not built to be bossed around or dragged into anyone else’s drama.

what do you do when she is being difficult ? do you argue with her, or just go do something else ?

when she disagree with you to be difficult, do you just think... whatever... or does it get under your skin?

if your doing all the right stuff to be the man and a decent one, and she is being difficult then recognize that is what is going on. there are lots of reasons she might have, but her behavior is a choice that she makes.

sending her alone to the gym is probably not the best choice. unless she is ugly, she is getting approached in the gym. she might not go with any of them but it will bolster her confidence vs being submissive to you.

yes, she is feeling competition from the sister.

--

only marry her if your really sure you want to. if you don't know already learn what it really means legally to be married.

consider getting to know some other women better. you might find one that tries harder to please you.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You aren't high enough on her list and she settled for you. Evacuate now.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Long story short, I’ve been seeing this girl, and lately she’s gone back to being combative disagreeing over even the simplest conversations. The crazy part is, she’s always wrong. It's become exhausting and I deserve peace and hapiness not a tense warzone conversation based on basic things.

If a woman is being disagreeable, check yourself out. Always tell yourself: she wouldn't do that to Jay-Z, Lebron James, or some other celebrity.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Long story short, I’ve been seeing this girl, and lately she’s gone back to being combative disagreeing over even the simplest conversations. The crazy part is, she’s always wrong. It's become exhausting and I deserve peace and hapiness not a tense warzone conversation based on basic things.

Call a timeout with her. Super easy and simple. Then disappear for a few days to a week. DO NOT communicate with her during this time or you'll come across and weak and be in a WORSE place. Have some balls.

Good luck.