Deal Breakers

[Latinoman]

Let me rephrase that.

"Women guard their skeletons with JUDGMENTAL MEN"

I also get women to open up all the time. See my other thread.

I don't judge. That's why they ALWAYS open to me. How can I judge, when I myself have not abide by the perfect behavior? Heck, if I was a woman, I would disquality "Latinoman". I personally do NOT judge their behavior. All I do is have a set of standards and disqualify women based on MY standards.

However, I also know that there not many DJs there. I am relatively good looking, I have a great career and I am educated. And I am also masculine, different, and in a way unique. Some women are willing to overlook my negative (rakish) part of my past as long as I don't do it to them.

I know...I know...double standards. But I can not force MY standards to others. All I can do is follow them.

 

[Latinoman]

THAT, and to judge a person based on HALF that crap, is just silly. I am one of the most righteous most annoyingly so people you will ever meet, and I can tell how silly that list is.

Someone mentioned on the other thread, you have just excluded any interesting people period. Even as moral and annoying as I can be... I was a thief when I was younger. I am excluded too! Lol...

EDIT: ALSO, I own my own business.... but sometimes I take a job as a server... because it is FUN, and you meet the most interesting people. But what would you care about that?

Iqqi...the fact is, I would have NEVER dated you anyway.

I do NOT disqualify people from being my FRIENDS, just because of the job they do. All I'm saying is that I don't get into SERIOUS relationships with them. FWB is acceptable with some.

 

[Latinoman]

Rollo made a good point... but I just think that is too judgemental. I know a lot of people, male and female, who went credit card crazy in their early 20's. They have learned their lesson, and are completely different now in regard to their financial intelligence.

I just thinking completely judging someone based on past mistakes (esp. ones that do not denote bad moral decisions), is a huge character flaw on the judge...

Sexual past...past crimes...yes, I judge on that. I don't judge them openly...but I analyse that and judge it.

Having past debts? That's different. If they don't have CURRENT debts, I don't care. If they CURRENTLY have BIG debts and BAD SPENDING habits....I care...and care a LOT.

 

[Latinoman]

Unless you hit the Powertball for 200 million, you may consider investing in a RealDoll.

I was married for a long time with one that passed the test. I was in a 2-year relationship with another. And currently in a 7 month relationship with another. They are hard to find. But if you are good with women, you can find them. All you have to do is get them to open up to you. And you do that by not being judgmental (save that for once you are in a LTR as to clearly state what you think about certain behavior and about respect).

They are not perfect. They had other issues...but not deal breakers. Heck, one was divorced.

And by the way...I have cheated (MANY TIMES), even when I was married. Have being with multiple women at the same time. Have been involved with women that were either married. Have been in one-night-stands (well, not with random women, simply with women I felt that going more than once was way too dangerous due to marital status or I simply found out they were a turn off and not worth of another sexual encounter). I am NOT a Saint...but that have allowed me to learn the kind of women that would phuck you up in a marriage.

They are my personal standards. I can afford them. I worked in myself all these years, and now I can afford to be picky when it comes to SERIOUS relationships.

 

[Latinoman]

IQQI and STR8UP:

I don't judge people as I feel every one is within their right to do whatever they want.

But when it comes to who I am going phuck or who I am going to introduce to my daughter and son, and who I am going to take to my Company party or introduce to my family...when it comes to that, I have to apply JUDGEMENT.

That's why I had three categories. I would not introduce a woman to my children, unless that woman is in the LTR category.

It is about having a set of standards. Some women fall into the FWB category (some after a one-night, we decide it is not a good idea...and sadly become a "one-night-stand" situation, but they are not random women as I know them). Others in the "LJBF" category (as I have no issues with befriending most people). And others might INITIALLY qualify as the LTR category (although, some just make it to the Short-Term-Relationship).

Those are MY standards.

 

[STR8UP]

You are making assumptions about me and how I approach women. And the type of women I approach. I fish in CLEAN waters...I don't fish in strip clubs, or bars, or drunk women. The nasty water that you fish.

If you are looking for your future wife while she's hooking on the street corner or stripping (I have never dated a stripper, I don't know why you keep saying that) you're gonna get what you deserve.

Otherwise, it doesn't make much difference WHERE you meet women.....there is a cross section of women on the street, in bars (almost ALL single people go to bars from time to time.....saying "you can't find a decent woman in a bar" is the biggest load of crap perpetuated on this board....that's what chicks say....the same chicks who GO TO BARS THEMSELVES), almost everywhere you go.

I meet the VAST majority of the women I date through friends who i know from high school, work, and yes, from going out.

"Clean water"...lol

 

[STR8UP]

I don't judge.

Uh, you listed about two dozen criteria that you DO judge by.

Don't think women don't pick up on that.

 

[iqqi]

IQQI and STR8UP:

I don't judge people as I feel every one is within their right to do whatever they want.

But when it comes to who I am going phuck or who I am going to introduce to my daughter and son, and who I am going to take to my Company party or introduce to my family...when it comes to that, I have to apply JUDGEMENT.

That's why I had three categories. I would not introduce a woman to my children, unless that woman is in the LTR category.

It is about having a set of standards. Some women fall into the FWB category (some after a one-night, we decide it is not a good idea...and sadly become a "one-night-stand" situation, but they are not random women as I know them). Others in the "LJBF" category (as I have no issues with befriending most people). And others might INITIALLY qualify as the LTR category (although, some just make it to the Short-Term-Relationship).

Those are MY standards.

I personally just think that there is something wrong with a man who cannot meet his own high standards that he sets forth for others.

I understand what you are saying and I think it is good to have high standards for the people that are closest to you. These are the people that you let in your heart, and so your standards should be high. Standards are traits that you find admirable and important in an individual, it is the essense of who they are.

It is just sad to me that you can't or don't meet them (those standards) yourself. Because you should mean the most to you. So who you are and what you represent should be far more important to you than who someone else is or what they represent.

 

[Latinoman]

Uh, you listed about two dozen criteria that you DO judge by.

Don't think women don't pick up on that.

Those are MY criterias and standards. DJs have standards.

When I talk with a woman...I don't judge. That would make me pretencious. I don't push my morals and values either, as they are my PERSONAL ones.

Once I start dating (e.g. phucking) that woman and she becomes what I consider a potential LTR...and the relationship goes into a semi-committed one...I do become a little judgmental about certain behavior OTHER women (e.g. women we heard about in the news) engage. That's when I covertly start introducing the concept of what I consider respectful in the relationship. I never tell MY woman (the one in a committed relationship with me) what to do. I simply tell them what I expect in my relationship and what I find disrespectful. It is up to them to do it. And it is up to me to take action.

 

[Latinoman]

I personally just think that there is something wrong with a man who cannot meet his own high standards that he sets forth for others.

I understand what you are saying and I think it is good to have high standards for the people that are closest to you. These are the people that you let in your heart, and so your standards should be high. Standards are traits that you find admirable and important in an individual, it is the essense of who they are.

It is just sad to me that you can't or don't meet them (those standards) yourself. Because you should mean the most to you. So who you are and what you represent should be far more important to you than who someone else is or what they represent.

I meet those standards. I am not addicted and I have a career. I don't have a criminal past. And I don't use illegal substances. I work too.

However, I know that some women consider a man that has cheated in the past or that has been involved with married women as a man with low values. And do you know what? I don't blame them if those women disqualify me (assuming they find that out about me).

But...they don't disqualify me as my positives (or what they view as positives) outweight my negatives.

 

[potato]

Whenever I see people make lists like the one from Latinoman, I find it offensive, to say the least. It is as bad as those who think that they have to have rules by which others should abide. Maybe I’m just too much of a free spirit to care about such things.

For me, as long as we get along and have some kind of chemistry going on, then that is all that really matters. I’ve discovered over the years that those women with whom I have the most chemistry, also tend to be very compatible with me, including attitudes and practices as to drug use and sexual activity.

Half the fun of carrying on with a woman, or anyone for that matter is discovering them and all their little quirks and secrets, especially if they are way different from you. To only accept those who fit particular criteria, to me, would make my interactions with others boring, boring, boring…

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Big Dealbreaker

To only accept those who fit particular criteria, to me, would make my interactions with others boring, boring, boring…

Once I was in thailand, and I saw an HB7.5. Nice face, nice rack. I approached, and when I got close to her she said "I have big c0ck! I fvkk your a$$!" I just kind of changed directions and pretended I wasn't walking toword him/her/whatever.

Now THAT was pretty much a dealbreaker.

 

[STR8UP]

Those are MY criterias and standards.

Which you judge people by. Harshly.

I'm not saying people shouldn't have standards and "rules of thumb", but there are sooooo many variables that I refuse to state under no uncertain terms a bunch of points that are non-negotiable.

You ARE judgmental, you might try to hide it, but trust me, you never will completely.

 

[LoneSilver]

I believe in redemption and only if it's showing in her heart if she has made bad mistakes in her past and making effort to make things good.

LoneSilver

 

[Colossus]

I dont see why some of you are so indignant about his list of dealbreakers. Its HIS list. Judging someone for past mistakes is a personal thing i guess, but it depends on the offense. If you met a potential mate who tells you he/she went to prison for sexual assault, would you still pursue? Of course not. That's an extreme example, but dont act like you are above judging someone based on past actions.

The cheating thing is a double-standard, unless he no longer cheats on his S.O.'s; but that aside, he has every right to hold his criteria to potential and current mates. Almost everyone has deal-breaking criteria whether it's typed out in a bullet list or not.

 

[LoneSilver]

That's true everyone has their stardards on the type of woman they want but many put to much on that list and just may miss out on missing a gem in the rough that only needs a little understanding and some lovin' and would hope a woman would afford me the same if I don't live up to a list she might have on a man she wants.

LoneSilver

 

[Latinoman]

Whenever I see people make lists like the one from Latinoman, I find it offensive, to say the least. It is as bad as those who think that they have to have rules by which others should abide.

I CLEARLY said those were MY standards. I am not asking anyone to follow them. I was hoping others post theirs.

Maybe I’m just too much of a free spirit to care about such things.

Or maybe you simply lack standards.

For me, as long as we get along and have some kind of chemistry going on, then that is all that really matters. I’ve discovered over the years that those women with whom I have the most chemistry, also tend to be very compatible with me, including attitudes and practices as to drug use and sexual activity.

Let me guess...you are in a HAPPY relationship as we speak. Correct?

Half the fun of carrying on with a woman, or anyone for that matter is discovering them and all their little quirks and secrets, especially if they are way different from you. To only accept those who fit particular criteria, to me, would make my interactions with others boring, boring, boring…

I don't disagree, is we are talking hobbies. In fact, I rather date women that have different hobbies than mine. However, we are NOT talking about hobbies. We are talking about the potential of having somebody in our life.

 

[Latinoman]

Which you judge people by. Harshly.

I'm not saying people shouldn't have standards and "rules of thumb", but there are sooooo many variables that I refuse to state under no uncertain terms a bunch of points that are non-negotiable.

And that's why you create threads after threads of the "low quality" women that surround you (literally whinning - which is a woman's quality on itself)...and I make NONE.

I am divorced. I came literally unscratched. In fact, I didn't even used a lawyer. Why? Because I choose a good woman.

Choose bad...and be ready to get phuck in a divorce. Heck...you don't need to be married, all you have to do is get somebody pregnant.

You ARE judgmental, you might try to hide it, but trust me, you never will completely.

Nahhh...I am very good when I talk with women. VERY good.

 

[Latinoman]

That's true everyone has their stardards on the type of woman they want but many put to much on that list and just may miss out on missing a gem in the rough that only needs a little understanding and some lovin' and would hope a woman would afford me the same if I don't live up to a list she might have on a man she wants.

LoneSilver

I have a career...two kids...and other things that are very important in my life and that I have to work for it. I don't have time to be shining gems in the rough.

Furthermore, I believe in accountability. For every gem in the rough...there is another that is available with little work. I want someone that complements me and enhances me. No some one that gives me MORE work.

 

[STR8UP]

And that's why you create threads after threads of the "low quality" women that surround you (literally whinning - which is a woman's quality on itself)...and I make NONE.

I've said it before.....you have a totally different POV than I do because you go from one relationship straight into another. I tend to be single more than I am in relationships. When I am in a relationship I don't notice the sh!t that's going on with other women. You will never be as critical as I am because your situation doesn't warrant it. If you took a step outside of your relationship(s) you would see the world as an entirely different place.

And whining? I think you are the only person to have accused me of that.