Squirrels I feel you buddie.
I too am in this zone as you speak off, I know what I want to achieve but cant seem to grasp at it.
Like trying to catch smoke rings.
I witness my mates becoming more and more successful and I too want those things!
I think Tony Robbins gives a good quote on these things, cant remember the exact words but it goes along these lines.
Negative thinking must be embraced to some degree as it helps us to feel the pain of regret of not achieving out dreams, it helps us to recognize what we don’t have, where we are and it helps us define ourselves against our worth.
Then we move onto positive thinking.
According to experts, positive thinking should be about 90% of the daily thoughts we have, with negative thinking making up about 10% of those.
What we need to do is look at our lives and see what we have achieved as opposed to what we ‘desire’.
If you reflect on your life and think over all your achievements you will see you have actually come along way even though you don’t ‘think’ that atm.
For example things that help me to pull myself out of these ruts of ‘want’ V ‘have’.
Think back to events like:
The hot girl you pulled, how she was fine and you felt powerful in your abilities to attract her.
The time you went for that job, thinking they would never employ, but you got the job and realized it was easy, infact after a time you got complacent, what was once a thing that seemed out of your reach became a routine.
Or how about how your wages have gone up over the course of your life time, when once you could not afford to go out drinking and paying rent you can now afford to have a little fun and still have a roof over your head.
Or think about some good times with your mates, the times you guys had a real fuc*ing good day, or how you even met them.
The times you made others laugh, you felt like the funniest guy in the world!
Times when you walked around confident, with the world at your feet and commanded respect. By your simple mental attitude.
Remember the positive aspects of what you have achieved, no matter how small, the hurdles you have climbed and are still climbing.
But don’t forget about the dark side too, without it, you would have no desire to achieve or improve it is there for a reason.
You state you have no passion!
Your passion is inbedded in the post, you state you are at a dead end, but the whole point of the post is your simply at a place that is negative to your life, which means you are unhappy with all your current achievements in that there is only one other option open to you! And that is the next step in growth, it will come as your are now ready for it.
Let me give you a story I got told a while back that I reflect on, when I know I am unhappy with my life>
Its about comfort zone and we all have them, it’s the thing that stops us from progressing from our negative side to a more growth positive future and its called ‘comfort zone’ to me this is bigger and more dangerous then any ‘fear’.
“There is a dog sat by his owner. The owner who is taking in the sunshine of the day drinking a few cans of beer, the owner is oblivious to the silent cries of pain, silent whelps from the dog every few minutes, the owner is happy in his garden and not even thinking about the dog laid by his chair. The dog is happy sat next to his owner, it is the best place for him has dogs in there nature have a lot of ‘love’ for there master and to be by his side is the best thing, but it came with a cost.
The dog happened to be sitting on a small rusty nail, which keeps hurting the dog, but the dog is scared to move in-case his owner, looks at him and locks him in the house, so the dog keeps satting on this nail has the pain is not as bad has not being by his owners side.
After and hour or two the dog is in so much pain, he cant bear to stand the nail in its rear end, the pain as now surpassed his comfort zone, so he gets an idea! He stand up and walks around to the other side of the owners chair where there happens to be soft grass to lay on!”
the thing is we are all like that dog, we get so comfortable being somewhere, when the pain of growth kicks in, it hurts but its never really that bad, till eventually it really starts to get painful, then people usually take action, but there are some who would be too scared to move off that nail and endure there comfort zone!
My issues are work related I don’t earn no where near enough for the lifestyle I want, but I have achieved a lot to get where I am, but its not enough for the life I want and that pains me also, it become uncomfortable along time ago and watching mates become ever more successful is like talking that rusty nail and jamming it my ass even deeper! But I still sit on it, since my job is easy and my boss is sound and my life ain’t that bad, but deep inside it hurts like crazy especially seeing what others have and knowing deep down I could attain that easily too, its just where I am is comfortable!
Things that do help in the meantime till life offers a solution.
Work out, it seems a silly adage, but when you see yourself improving physically it helps you feel proud your achieving something.
Learn something new, a course or a language, keep striving, keep learning.
Try to remain positive by having something in your life that is focused constant development.
If it was not for me working out and learning new stuff as I am now (I have 3 projects on self improvement going atm, body, learning to drive, and studying a degree, even if my job does suck in terms of salary value)! I can still feel positive about the fact I am growing.
Its only as hard as getting up off that rusty nail! how much does it hurt?
