Dazed and Confused.

[Reciprocity]

Wow, I feel so super desprate comming to you guys for help. As you probably already have deduced I'm not exactly socially skilled with women. I started making efforts to make a change to that last year. I've purchased and read a few e-books in my quest to educate and better my skills.

A few guys from work have told me internet dating has worked for them. I work with all older males most of whom are divorced and fat or balding. I'm none of these. However, these guys are having success with women online. They show me messages from women that they went on dates with and women that are interested in going on dates.

I decided finally that I had read enough stuff to start trying to get dates. I didn't feel like I was going in without a plan, so I created an account at a popular internet site Friday night. Midday Saturday I sent out a few messages. Saturday Night I got a hit from a good looking asian girl. Sunday evening I caught her online and we started playing message tag.

She was laughing at the silly **** I was saying and the convo was going well. She then sends me a message telling me that she hate speaking through the internet. So I figure its her way of telling me shes ready for phone conversations. The very next message she asks me If I'm going to come pick her up. I figured I should react like I had some balls.

I was trying to not think to much and react appropriately. So I asked her for her phone number and address and I would come take her for a coffee. She then tells me that she has plans... maybe another time. So we exchange numbers anyhow. Later that night she texts me asking me if I still want to meet her. I don't want her to think I'm just waiting around for her so I tell her that I went out with my friends instead. She then asks me If I want to meet her the next day. So I say sure, I'll call her after work. Anyways. She said to me that she hates flaky people. I said I would call and I did to make arrangements. She then tells me that her friends got an emergency so she can't hook up. She also says she will call me later.

At this point I'm phucking confused. I feel like writing the whole thing off and searching some more. Which I'm doing anyway. I want to know what I did wrong so I can sort myself out and not make the same mistake twice.

I would appreciate some input so I don't feel like such an idiot.

 

[OTB]

Wow, I feel so super desprate comming to you guys for help. As you probably already have deduced I'm not exactly socially skilled with women. I started making efforts to make a change to that last year. I've purchased and read a few e-books in my quest to educate and better my skills.

A few guys from work have told me internet dating has worked for them. I work with all older males most of whom are divorced and fat or balding. I'm none of these. However, these guys are having success with women online. They show me messages from women that they went on dates with and women that are interested in going on dates.

For starters, I would like to welcome you to this wonderful forum of ours Reciprocity.

You've certainly made a wise descision in joining SoSuave as oppose to all of the other message boards out there that are focused on catering to a similar demographic. Unlike the many other forums that do exist out there in the seduction community, the Don Juan Forum actually focuses on helping its members improve & excell in all aspects of their lives as oppose to just being able to get a date with a cute female. On SoSuave, we believe in pushing people as far as they can possibly go in terms of self-improvement.

Reciprocity, you would need to tell us a little bit more about yourself in order for us to try give you the best possible help. To more details you give us, the more quality feedback we can give you in terms of your own personal journey towards greatness. Just light in medicine, nature, and many other aspects of life, there is no one panacea. Every problem is nullified by it's own solution - sort of like a every locked door can only by opened by a certain unique key....

All that being said, I would have to ask for you to kindly fill us in with your answers to the following personal questions.

How old are you?
What is your race/nationality?
Currently employed full-time or a part-time student?
What region of the world do you live in?
What do you work as?
Physical build? (fat, short, tall, skinny)

Hopefully you'll answer the questions above with great detail, in order for you to be able to get the most out of this site as possible...

Looking forward to hear from you soon & I'm pleased to welcome the newest member in our exclusive brotherhood. Hopefully this site will be able have as much of a positive impact on your life as it had on mine!

Best Regards my brother!
- Master Don Juan OTB

 

[WC2]

The question you're asking is pretty straight forward, so I don't see any reason I need your personal info/age/invasion of privacy information.

Anyways, like almost all other chicks, this one is using your attention to her advantage. Some call them attention wh0res which is fine, but when it comes down to it almost all women seek a lot of attention.

This woman was testing you to see exactly how desperate you are. Like you said, you didn't want to seem like you were 'waiting around' for her, because you really shouldn't be.

You can act as if you aren't, but it's not until that you learn to occupy your time with other things as opposed to women that you'll 100% succeed in really being a man who doesn't rely on women. Before this chick even ditched you to meet up, you should have other plans set up. A man who keeps himself busy is a man who has many options.

If you sit at home/work waiting for something to come about, it will never happen.

The fact that this was an online dating site gives her even more ability to pull this move because she hasn't even met you personally yet. She probably did this to multiple men on the same day and chose the one who she desired most to meet with. This is why I've never been a fan of online dating; actually there are many more reasons, but I digress.

Many men seek online dating when they feel they have no social skillsets to work with women in person, which I hate to say it, but is a weak way out.

Why not improve your social skills out in social settings? Who cares if you fail 100 times? You never make a shot you don't take. The one shot you do make will negate the rejections 10 times over.

As far as this woman goes, you should be doing exactly what she's doing; spinning plates. As long as your single, there's no reason to lock yourself down and work on one woman. Actually, you shouldn't be working at all. Believe it or not, the less you work for a woman, the more she'll work for you (as long as you're showing some sort of interest and attraction).

There's no need to lie to her and tell her you're busy when you're not; instead you should REALLY be busy with things through the majority of your day. She should be making time around your schedule.

It's a tough transition from what hollywood has brainwashed into our heads
(The do multiple favors for a woman in hopes that she will fall head over heels because we care so much).

Instead, your connections you make should be based on intellectual things like how much you can make a woman laugh and how well you interact with her.

Oh yeah, and welcome to the boards.

 

[GQ_Confidence_1]

Depends on where you live, but I would say drop the internet dating.

There's some quality people there, but 7 out of 10, are either low self esteem, poor social skills, poor view of themselves, using outdated pictures or exaggerated profiles, or using it as an ego boost, or playing around, flakey. Not everybody. But I have a hard time seeing a lot of quality, active, datable women hanging out online looking for dates.

Not everyone, I've met some nice women from online in real life. But you have to click, then meet.

Another problem, its so hidden. And when you're starting out, it can lower your confidence, because you dont know whats going on behind the scenes, and why she cancels, flakes, doesnt do what you want. And you get too emotionally invested in something abstract.

And I agree with filling your time up with other things besides women. Then when you meet women in real life, they can tell you're doing something.

 

[Reciprocity]

Thanks for your welcome and the input guys. I appreciate it. I've already started reading the DJ bible. I would like to get the most out of this Mission that I'm on so I have no problems with revealing information. I understand what has been said about online dating and it's true. It is an easy way out. You got to start somewhere though. I'm still willing to try and learn and apply what I've learned to everyday activities. I`ve learned a few things already from reading the DJB... Yesterdays rant was a fustration blow off. Thanks for listening.


This is the info requested OTB... thanks for the help.

How old are you?
32

What is your race/nationality?
half chinese half guynese (south american)

Currently employed full-time or a part-time student?
I`m employed full-time.

What region of the world do you live in?
Toronto, Canada.

What do you work as?
I`m a qualifed tradesman. Journeyman Construction Boilermaker. Currently I do maintenance and repairs of Boilers, less of the construction side.

Physical build? (fat, short, tall, skinny)
I would consider myself skinny. I`m 5`8` and 135lbs. I`m not weak and unathletic however, my job can be physically demanding.

Hopefully this helps you steer me in the right direction a little more... although I feel like I`m on the right track already.