Dating women isn't for me, asexuality is.

[DonJuan11]

I now consider myself asexual. I do not desire females as companions or sexual companions anymore. I'm never going to attract women and being gay is not an option, so I have made up my mind to not care about females any more. In fact, I'm going to avoid them at all costs. I will condition myself to not get aroused at the sight of a sexy woman and hopefully I can get to the point that even if Jessica Biel strolls naked into my room and sit on my lap, my d*ck will stay limp like a wet rag.

Why have I come to this conclusion? I'm tired of lying to myself saying that I appeal to women. I don't and I recognize that now. I don't care how much I "find myself" or what hobbies I get, I just don't appeal to women and a woman will never be interested in being with me. I accept that. I'll be 25 years old this year and never held hands with a chick outside of church as a young teen. The only sex I had was sex I paid for.


You've had sex, that's more than 50% of the people on here.

I've worked at numerous jobs and never had a chick interested in me. I've been to numerous places and never noticed signs a chick wants me to talk to her.

Translation: Girls should want to drop their pants for me because I'm me and have never had a girlfriend. I don't really have much to offer them, I just think they should automatically know I've never had a girlfriend or had sex in a relationship, and that alone should make them want to be with me. I don't care what they get out of it either, its all about me since I haven't done anything productive to get a girlfriend over the last 10 years.

All this says my romantic life is hopeless and I should leave the women to guys that are naturals or able to improve themselves enough to attract females.

How James Bond like. You must be rich to have this much time thinking about why you haven't had sex with a girl.

 

[Furyguy]

I made that decision once. I know where you are.

It feels bad. But it almost doesn't even hurt, because you've lost all hope, and when you've lost all hope, nothing can really hurt you anymore.

You can get over it. Whatever problem you have, you can handle it with enough force of will. I GUARANTEE in the history of all humanity, there was someone who started off worse with women than you are right now and ended up doing pretty OK for himself.

You're not a special case, you're just a regular asshole like the rest of us. Everybody has their shit to overcome in life. This isn't any easier on the rest of us, we all have our shit to deal with, too. Don't fucking give up. You're entire life is resting on this moment. Don't throw it all away.


Take a read at this:http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sex_news_sports_funny/phoenix_theory
It helped me out of a bad spot, a little bit, but most of it came from within. It might be time for you die, burn, and be reborn.

I can tell you what DID work for me though, and that was getting my ass into the gym and getting serious about lifting. It changes your personality as much as your body. Might not be your thing, but I really don't think you have much to lose at this point?

I think despite all your self-loathing you still have a glimmer of hope somewhere buried away. Happiness isn't beyond your grasp. You can get your **** figured out, but you have to WORK at it.

This is life, not rocket science. In most cases, a little hard work is really all you need.

 

[Jaggs]

Weak.

 

[Prodigy746]

Here you go man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuXjjKM3PBo

perfect vid for you

 

[Luminescence]

I now consider myself asexual. I do not desire females as companions or sexual companions anymore. I'm never going to attract women and being gay is not an option, so I have made up my mind to not care about females any more. In fact, I'm going to avoid them at all costs. I will condition myself to not get aroused at the sight of a sexy woman and hopefully I can get to the point that even if Jessica Biel strolls naked into my room and sit on my lap, my d*ck will stay limp like a wet rag.

Why have I come to this conclusion? I'm tired of lying to myself saying that I appeal to women. I don't and I recognize that now. I don't care how much I "find myself" or what hobbies I get, I just don't appeal to women and a woman will never be interested in being with me. I accept that. I'll be 25 years old this year and never held hands with a chick outside of church as a young teen. The only sex I had was sex I paid for. I've worked at numerous jobs and never had a chick interested in me. I've been to numerous places and never noticed signs a chick wants me to talk to her. All this says my romantic life is hopeless and I should leave the women to guys that are naturals or able to improve themselves enough to attract females. It will never happen to me.

I've felt this way more than once. Go for it..... Give up, at least for a while and see how it works for you.

 

[Energizer]

I will be happier in the long run being asexual.

I felt like this a while ago, it didn't last long until I had a long hard look at myself in the mirror and realized that I do not need a woman to be happy, to feel like my life means something and to be fulfilled. I realized that my life had become boring, all I did was party and rave all the time and my passions became secondary and as a consequence my own self happiness suffered.

I made the changes to myself to stop me feeling bored, that would stop me over thinking situations and I disciplined myself to stop trying to control things beyond my control. I play Rugby Union and it is great for getting out frustration and when I am not playing for my local team, I hit the gym, or I read, or I work save up money and travel. You need to find passions in your life and focus on those, then the rest will slot into place over time.

 

[DonGorgon]

I now consider myself asexual. .

sounds like you are well on your way to admitting your homosexuality due to adverse heterosexual dating conditions.. many males are going that rout.

 

[Alle_Gory]

buh bye...don't let the door hit you on the way out as they say! in fact I am surprised your still here...you must be looking for attention like a female.

You're doing the same thing by posting this.


OP: STFU with this asexual stuff. We get it. Now do you want to solve the problem or not? Maybe you're not asexual, maybe you're gay, or maybe you're lacking enough male hormones.

When was the last time you hit the gym or went for a run?

Do you consider yourself to be a depressive person?

 

[MoveYourAss...]

OP: You say never a girl wanted to talk to you / have sex with you.

The question is: Is there any girl YOU want to talk to / have sex with?

Do you look at them, feel their presence, admire their feminine nature, their way to move, their scent and voice? Do you allow yourself to do that?

Spend one week practicing this every day for an hour or to. Can be anywhere, a bar or even public transport. Just feel their presence.

If you do allow yourself to do that non-needy, not trying to hook up, they will magically reciprocate. If you still don't find yourself attracted, maybe your gay or asexual. I don't mind.

 

[Sir_Turtle]

Meh. i know a guy thats A-sexual. they're rare. He's not a bad lookin dude and girls do come on to him but he either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

His life passion pretty much consumes him in the way self improvement is a life goal for most of the guys on this board.

He isn't gay as far as I know, that would probably be against his religion and life passion ( he's training to become a catholic missionary of some sort)

HOnestly naomek you don't sound like you were gifted for asexuality, you just sound pretty bitter about your failure thus far.

 

[MoveYourAss...]

Ah, yes, and stop wonking. For a WEEK.

 

[Abaddon]

For the longest I thought similar to that, all through high school I really felt undesirable. But over time I came to understand that the problem was myself. I thought I was too short, too plain, too shy...I could go on. But guess what, none of that **** mattered. My problem was a self defeatist attitude, and once I began to realize the only way to attract females was to improve myself things were much better. Nothing outward really changed except me getting in great shape (which is a huge boost) but I'm still short which a lot of people on this site proclaim I can't get any decent girl. BS, the only thing that matters is your game, your confidence, your reality. I'm only 5'3 but that doesn't fade me. If you let something you can't change affect you, then it can really bring you down. So don't worry about that and embrace what you can change. If you truly believe that you are a great catch then it will reflect in your interactions with women.
Also don't put so much emphasis on women, they are fun and give you a sense of self validation, but never put getting a girl as a top priority in your life. You should focus on improving yourself and YOUR life.
I usually don't post much, but this just struck me as something I had to comment on.

 

[nonameok]

HOnestly naomek you don't sound like you were gifted for asexuality, you just sound pretty bitter about your failure thus far.

Yes, I am bitter about my failure. This forum gives such contradicting advice, I don't know why I come here. On one hand, a man shouldn't worry about women. He should focus on himself and naturally women will come easy. On the other hand, a man should be a hunter. He should approach women and be the chooser. You have some guys with four women in their lives and can get sex anytime they want, but nonameok should be happy with himself even though nonameok is getting older and older every year. Let's just say my first real relationship is at age 30. I wouldn't know anything about being in a relationship because I never had the experience. I will be a complete moron. Why am I constantly being told not to worry about women by people who have no problem with women?

You all keep calling me desperate but I'm not desperate. I'm just pointing out the truth in my life.

 

[nonameok]

Also don't put so much emphasis on women, they are fun and give you a sense of self validation, but never put getting a girl as a top priority in your life. You should focus on improving yourself and YOUR life.
I usually don't post much, but this just struck me as something I had to comment on.

If women didn't exist, I'd be happy with my life. I'm happy with who I am, but obviously who I am isn't good enough for women. So, if I just forget about women then I'll go back to being happy with who I am. Women are the reason I get depressed, I don't get depressed because I'm not happy with myself.

 

[AAAgent]

is this guy a TROLL? if anything man, pay for the sex u can afford and ask them to teach you how to seduce women. Ask them to role play with you and be the girl and ur the random guy approaching them trying to spit game. ur paying them for it so might as well get stuff out of it, don't forget to fvck them at the end though.

If not go troll somewhere else because this forum is about bettering yourself as a whole to become a better MAN.

 

[Energizer]

If women didn't exist, I'd be happy with my life. I'm happy with who I am, but obviously who I am isn't good enough for women. So, if I just forget about women then I'll go back to being happy with who I am. Women are the reason I get depressed, I don't get depressed because I'm not happy with myself.

If you are looking for answers to your problems, you should be searching internally for advice, not externally. We have to figure out how to get by the obstacles that block our clear path and you can only do that on your own.

As for your earlier post about this forum being contradictory, you forget that each and everyone of us has our own opinion and share our experiences and techniques that work for us, techniques and tips offered are not universally implementable and some tips and methods may not be suited to you. Again, we can't help you attract girls, we can only offer advice. If it helps you then that's an added bonus.

 

[playerone]

nonameok, obviously you have poor inner game - confidence, ability to deal with rejection, etc. you didn't understand and follow the DJ Bible properly. just treat this as a gamble, don't be too serious about it, it's just a game. follow the DJ Bible from the beginning, and work on it. get to know new girls, and try it on them. you may have to be out of your own natural persona to do this, but as you practise it will be part of you. in between, you will surely face problems like everyone do. post and seek advice here, listen to what the more experienced DJs have to say, follow the correct way.

in the meantime, take it easy, don't let girls be top priority in your life. if it works for you, good. if it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. good luck.

 

[CaptainJ]

Snap out of this bull****. Don't ever say those words "I'm giving up on women" or "I'm going to become asexual." Contrary to what you think, this is not good for you. This will only make you miserable. You obviously long for companionship with a woman, otherwise you wouldn't see a need to declare yourself asexual. Don't lie to yourself man, it never works. You will still finding yourself longing for women and their companionship.

What you need to do, is to forget about women for a while and focus on improving yourself. You think you're unnatractive? Change your look. Get a good hair cut, buy some well fitting trendy and stylish clothes. Work out at the gym. These things are to boost your confidence. Hate your job? Go out and look for a job you love. Give yourself a purpose in life. Your purpose cannot just be about getting your first kiss, or "holding hands" with a girl. Women are not the sole focus of our life. Don't have any friends and find yourself awkward around women? Get out and meet people. Talk to people in your workplace, get to know their friends and their friend's friends. Invite people out for drinks and all that crap. It's really not that hard. The more time you spend with women, the more you learn about how to act around them until it becomes completely natural. Don't think about getting a girlfriend, but focus on building up yourself. Be the person you want to be, it's really not that hard if you put your mind to it.

With a mindset like your current one, you are going to get nowhere. Just Shut the hell up man. Everyone feels down sometimes, utterly depressed for some. It's a fact of life. Don't be the person who wallows in depression and misery. Just stop whining and get back into life. Your life is not bad, because there is something you can actually do about it. Life's meant to be enjoyed, so make the most of it. Do you think your mindset will help? It won't. Stop whining, and get your life on track.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Yes, I am bitter about my failure. This forum gives such contradicting advice, I don't know why I come here. On one hand, a man shouldn't worry about women. He should focus on himself and naturally women will come easy. On the other hand, a man should be a hunter. He should approach women and be the chooser.

This forum gives contradicting advice because there are many different people here with different points of view.

Spoiler: Every piece of advice works and is just as valid. It really depends on the person.

Some guys/emos get girls by chasing them with poetry and love notes and flowers. Yes it really does work. No really.

Some guys get, and keep girls by working on themselves and being strong mentally, physically, and projecting that strength in their daily life.


You have to find what works for you.

I wouldn't know anything about being in a relationship because I never had the experience. I will be a complete moron. Why am I constantly being told not to worry about women by people who have no problem with women?

You all keep calling me desperate but I'm not desperate. I'm just pointing out the truth in my life.

Self-defeating attitude. You don't think much of yourself, do you?

Stop putting unrealistic time limits on everything. Stop making such large goals. If you can't achieve something, don't plan on doing it otherwise you will hate yourself for not achieving it!


Focus on short term goals.

For example? Do you work out? Yes you do. If you don't, start.

A short term goal is:

1. Go to the gym 3x per week. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. After you complete this for a month or two, you make a new goal.
2. Increase weights by 2% every workout. After you do this for 2 more months, you make another goal.
3. Do a few compound exercises every workout. You do it again for another couple of months.


After half a year, I guarantee you will have made more progress, and feel better about yourself, than by setting up this huge unrealistic goal only to fail miserably.


How does all the stuff I said apply?

You do the same thing. Fill in 'gym' with 'social life'. And 'working out' with 'go out and socialize with someone new everyday'.

 

[Perfect10]

Actually you're not really asexual. Just by reading your text I can define that you're just tired of all that bull**** hokus-pokus. No problem dude!
But do you know WHY you're not feeling attracted to women? Because I know!

See long time ago before I read about "DJ" or "PUA" or whatever, I was a natural. I had at most 8 plates and everything was great. I'm now 18 and I've had sex with over 30 girls. Sounds cool perhaps... Well it was, because I'm not a natural anymore! I lost all gaming skills and haven't got constatly laid in years now. Now-a-days it comes like once per half year

But I remember that when I HAD the chicks, I was hungry and horny for more and more and more of them but now that I don't have 'em I'm finding myself not as hungry nor horny as before. It's like your penis forgets what's it made to do, and its for ****ing.

As soon as you start getting girls then you'll see that you're really not an asexual