Originally posted by becker
I've never been involved with a girl I've worked with, but I can't see what's wrong with it. Just take a shot and see what happens.
That's what I thought once...thrice, actually...
I think people are always looking too far ahead and letting the future guide their decisions in the present.
True enough.
Except here.
I--and many of us here--are looking BACK and we know how bad and hellish it can be.
Ok, so the worst case scenario is that you guys date and things get a little awkward at the workplace.
WORST case--!!!
A LITTLE awkward--!! Ya!!
I formally nominate this for Understatement of the Year award. It can get far, far worse than that.
You'll get over it eventually when you both get sick of the awkwardness,...
And after one of you leaves, most likely...
...and you'll just say screw it, and just be cool with each other...
4 years after the fact, if then...
Seriously--I had one---ONE--office romance out of three go sour (the last one, obviously...) Nothing really happened, it was just hellish and uncomfortable and never changed. Once of us left. Issue ended.
I was lucky.
I work in an employment law office and one important segment of the cases we get in originated as a romance or attempted romance that went sour. And then it snowballed. Someone gets hurt--in fact, it's a rare case where one or both of them don't get hurt--and nasty behavior ensues. Retaliation, adverse job actions, harrassment, discrimination (law office workers can probably rattle of additional causes of action for these) --
--and then the real hell begins once litigation starts.
Last sexual harrassment case I saw---and the woman had a valid point (the guy wouldn't take a hint and then they started seriously fvcking with her career...) meant the company spent close to $300K or more defending the guy and his manager. Th'at's 300K+ (my guess) was spent before settlement.
Wonder how they handled that in the yearly performance review....
I can hear some of the replies to this--I've seen litigants "play the system" with sexual harrassment suits and I've seen people who legitimately had a case. There certainly is a place for such litigation (when not abused..) and has improved the work place.
Since AFCs--mostly--and jerks--often--misread situations and respond or act inappropriately, and some women can handle this and some can't--you simply don't want to risk it. Don't chase it at work unless you're willing to suffer the consequences or lose the job if it goes wrong. Just know how wrong it can go.
...It's sort of like breaking up with a girl and becoming cool with her a year later after both of you have cooled off.
Just sorta...if you're lucky.
I've said it before, but it's worth saying again, just live life one day at a time...
Let's add to that---don't make every obvious mistake that can be avoided, especially when someone points it out to you. It will make that one life you have a better life to live...
