Dating Perfect girl but

[Dman101]

I have a unique situation, I met a girl about 4 years ago, when I was 29 and she was 30 the first few times she resisted sex, then when she gave me the green light when I was walking upstairs to my room, I got a little nervous and my **** didnt stay hard. She was cool about it but our sex life wasnt right after that for a while either I'd lose the erection or I wouldnt *** and she'd get tired. Eventually I had sex with a freak girl and that got my mojo back. After this I was able to keep erections but still would rarely ***.

I"ve been dating this girl for 4 years, her family loves me, my family loves her, she supports my dreams, she cooks really good, cleans my house, she watches sports with me, and puts me first, does what I want to do, and shes a very pretty girl anyone that sees us together think we look great like celebrities or something.

However this whole time I've been dating other girls on the side. I've probably had sex with at least 20 other girls since I've known her. She found womens panties and bracelets in my room the first year of dating, but then she kind of thought I'd change so she stuck around. Around 3 years in, she found out that I had another girlfriend for a whole year, and she called that girl. I was so upset and hurt by this that I went to the other girlfriends house to apologize because she didnt want to talk to me anymore and I got her back saying I was done with the other girl. The 2nd girlfriend found out I was lying and that I was talking to other girls plus the 1st girl so she left me and I was so upset and hurt again that a month later I showed up at her job promising her I only wanted her, I gave her a ring and a key to my house. I broke up with girl 1 and girl 2 called her to confirm and told her about the ring and key and everything.

I dated girl 2 for 4 months but she didnt treat me good after knowing the truth, so we stopped talking then girl 1 called me wanting to meet up. I tried to tell her numerous times that I didnt want to be in a relationship but girl 1 has now been sticking around acting like a girlfriend even though she knows I deal with other women. In these past few months of us dating, our sex life did get better I did *** from sex most of the time. Girl 2 came back and I pretty much put girl 1 on the backburner. Girl 2 was suspicious of me and she found out girl 1 was in the picture and she left and I've been sad about this everyday.

In summary:

The issue is this girl is beautiful most guys would die for a girl like her, she treats me like a king , watches sports with me and puts me first in everything, and shes my friend we get along, but I felt this strong magnetic chemistry with the other girlfriend where I wanted to make her happy and do for her but girl 1 isnt much of a challenge or mystery, and I dont feel that crazy chemistry or butterflys in my stomach feeling when I think about her , or have thoughts like oh damn I want to **** her because shes so nice and easy going. Also shes 35 and wants to have kids and be married, and Im not sure about that because I like my freedom and sleeping with different girls. I dont know what to do about all of this so I wanted to get advice from you guys. I have urges to reach out to girl 2 because I have crazy feelings about her, and girl 1 is this perfect girl that I may regret losing 1 day.

 

[speed dawg]

If you aren't attracted to her it won't work long term.

 

[AJ84]

What you have is a girl who is 'good on paper'.

But It's not enough for her to be your friend, do everything for you and be so easy and agreeable if she isn't really doing it for ya. It's not your fault, it is what it is

As much as we all say having a gf or bf who treats us like gold is what we want, it won't create chemistry if chemistry is missing. And missed chemistry is felt like a void.

So let her go. She wants marriage and kids and you are not there. Don't waste her time as someone else can appreciate in her what you can't. And don't waste your time being with someone you are not that into.

 

[Dman101]

Wow, its so crazy because this situation has haunted me for so long, I've talked with my friends and counselors about this so many hours. Me and this girl actually went to sex therapy counseling last year, but it turned into managing the fact I had another girlfriend, ended up with the counselor saying to allow me to do what I'm doing and we kept girl 2 in the dark until she found out on her own that I was still talking to girl 1 and other girls. Its been such a difficult situation because girl 1 is very beautiful looks a little like a celebrity I used to really like, she supports me in everything and has been a part of a lot of big moments in my life like buying my house she was there the whole 2 years looking at houses with me, shes a confidant and very close friend. I broke up with her last April while trying to work things out with girl 2, but she came back to me in September, she had a guy that wanted to give her what she wanted move her in everything but she was still in love with me and came back.

I think a big part of the issue is that I really had such a strong natural sexual connection with girl 2, and a very good vibe and friendship with her it was super natural, and girl 1 ruined that for me by getting emotional and calling her when I told her not to do it so now I have resentment towards her over that even though its been over a year and it still bothers me. Also she is always telling me how much she loves me and how I mean the world to her sending me pictures of instagram memes and quotes about relationship things and it kind of turns me off. I told her I dont want to be in a relationship and I know she can clearly have any guy she wants but she chooses to be loyal to me. Maybe Im a little messed up because girl 2 once she caught me she didnt do too much or pay for too many things but I felt good doing things taking her out and doing things for her, but the fact girl 1 is soo into me I dont put in much effort and take her for granted.. I do have a girl number 3 who I've known for 2 years shes been a constant Fuk buddy this whole time , and a few other old friends that I see here and there. On the one end I like the idea of polyamory having sex with whoever I want, but I also like the companionship and friendship these 2 relationships provided me with so I'm confused as hell about what to do here.

 

[Dman101]

One other factor in all of this is that I'm not that confident in that I can easily replace these women. I'm 33 years old and still have my looks but I dont work a 9 to 5 I'm self employed in a very risky field so I dont have a lot of money or time now and I feel like my usual way of meeting women which is online dating has gotten much much harder, there are so many flakes and nonresponses so I kind of like to keep women that are into me already or recycle ex's and women I used to date

 

[AJ84]

Sounds like you have three girls who, if morphed into one would be the perfect girl. But they aren't one girl so the options are exploring an open relationship with all three, picking the one who you have the most feelings for, picking none and starting over with a clean and uncomplicated slate, or wasting the lives of one or two of these girls who want something that you can't give them, and dealing with the sh*t they will throw at you for that. These girls will eventually dump you when they find someone who can give them what they want so how many years do you want to waste on your own life, with women who are going to give you grief and pressure, then leave you alone anyway?

 

[Focal core]

Sounds like you have three girls who, if morphed into one would be the perfect girl. But they aren't one girl so the options are exploring an open relationship with all three, picking the one who you have the most feelings for, picking none and starting over with a clean and uncomplicated slate, or wasting the lives of one or two of these girls who want something that you can't give them, and dealing with the sh*t they will throw at you for that. These girls will eventually dump you when they find someone who can give them what they want so how many years do you want to waste on your own life, with women who are going to give you grief and pressure, then leave you alone anyway?

@AJ84 agreed with you, take the one you have the most feelings for, however take it in the long run feelings may change too, decide which is more saner and attractive to you might be your best bet in the long run.