Dating late 30's and early 40's ?

[Chow Mein]

End of. She was very appreciative that I did.

Maybe we can take this direct, but I think being the one that ‘consults’ from the get-go might get her to adapt to your way of thinking and expectations. Almost like a drug she can’t get rid of because both know that you are looking out for both best interests.

 

[BaronOfHair]

See now you are going to extremes.

And we are not talking about the location of making love, we are talking about the quantity and quality of the women. All things considered, a 27 year old male will get a lot more calls and interest from women than a 37 year old male. The 37 year old could get the woman alot quicker, but its transactional.

This site is delusional thinking if a man in his 30s has it together, the woman will flock to him. Even if they do, they are used up. The genetically blessed Alpha males have already destroyed them when they were young, or wifed up the hot ones in their 20s.

Yeah men, work your ass off and get rich in your 30s, because when you are 35, the 22 year old girl won't know what do because she will so attracted to a man 13 years her senior, instead of the 6'4 basketball player in college.

Nothing anyone can say will persuade you otherwise. You're similar to another poster on here, who's convinced that an autism diagnosis he received back in HS is what's primairly at fault for him not achieving his goals, and refuses to investigate his pre-existing beliefs for truthfulness

 

[Divorced w 3]

I saw you edited your post to say this^.

I agree, it's exactly what I was referring to but with one caveat.

It may end up reflecting a bond beyond (but including) sexual attraction, I would think.

The sexual attraction doesn't disappear just because you waited a bit to have sex . You're still showing physical affection and expressing attraction.

It can actually build sexual tension which is never a bad thing imo!

If that's even what you were suggesting, I wasn't sure.

What exactly is it that causes you to continually leave the forum and then opt to return under a new handle?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't think moving them out hurt the relationships at all, it helped provide some space to clear our heads and reflect.

In both cases the decision to be abstinent caused a little concern at first, but they understood why. It was my idea. I reassured them I wasn't banging other chics. We basically talked about it, and that was it, moved forward.

Me sliding into the counselor role was probably what helped her make so much progress. For us there was no issue with inferiority. I was able to take myself out of the situation and act as a 3rd party. I don't think most would be successful at it, I only coud with the right person. But, I'll never attempt it again because it changed my romantic desire for her.

Yes, I'd say some of it is self-preservation. I also think when you have been with someone for a long time that its a good thing even if it doesn't work out. It provides resolution and clarity.

I think perhaps that abstinence is a virtuous way to approach the relationship tension but puts the abstainer in an unnecessary dry period. There is a lot of hard-line methodology that I don’t particularly care for, but the idea of walking away from monotony, instead choosing non-exclusivity, may be more beneficial. It opens that door up for someone else to walk through that was previously shut. I’m also spitballing, I’m not totally thought through on it.