Dating late 30's and early 40's ?

itouchyou

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That's an understatement.

I never understood men who say 30s and 40s were the best time dating, as Duke said above. For me, the phone stopped ringing when I was 32 and hasn't rang much since. I look ok, financially ok, have all hair, not 6'1.

For me, the best best time was 25-29. Man, I was going with Maxim models, Chinese models, Ireland models, I was getting so many calls from hot calls you couldn't believe. I could call any girl Friday night and go out. I had 2 girls begging to come over to my place one time, they both slept over. You couldn't believe how good it was.

Then when I hit early 30s, my finances were getting better, but the calls dried up quick. I didn't know happened. I didn't look or act different. And it started sucking. I was going out with girls I was not attracted to, I had put alot alot more effort into getting a date, let alone a 2nd date. It become tougher and tougher. I mean I had hot gf between 34 - 38, but still.

Now in 40s, I have a company and can't get any date anywhere. Decent looking Divorced women ? Nope. Decent looking Single moms? Nope. Any decent women in her mid 30 - early 40s? No chance. Unless I own Buckingham Palace, which I don't, they ain't getting in touch.

When men are in 20s, they want relationship with the girl to be transactional, and the girl wants love, so its much much. easier.

When men in 30s and 40s, they want the relationship to be about love, and women want the relationship to be transactional, much much harder.

My opinion.
This sounds fake. A guy dating maxim models, chinese models, ireland models, having girls begging to have a threesome?

And then in his 30s "idk what happened, women stopped being interested, I have zero self awareness to have even a tiny idea as to why"

Sounds like some incel/feminist fantasy on reddit, where they hate older men for dating younger women.
 

Slowhandluke

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This sounds fake. A guy dating maxim models, chinese models, ireland models, having girls begging to have a threesome?

And then in his 30s "idk what happened, women stopped being interested, I have zero self awareness to have even a tiny idea as to why"

Sounds like some incel/feminist fantasy on reddit, where they hate older men for dating younger women.
Or he became really ugly and out of shape, but in his eyes, he has the "same looks"... its like Al bundy looking in the mirror and saying, "I still got it".....
 

Gamisch

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This sounds fake. A guy dating maxim models, chinese models, ireland models, having girls begging to have a threesome?

And then in his 30s "idk what happened, women stopped being interested, I have zero self awareness to have even a tiny idea as to why"

Sounds like some incel/feminist fantasy on reddit, where they hate older men for dating younger women.
I have to admit it's kinda odd that you go from dating MODELS in a timespan of just 4 years to nada.

The discrepancy is too big. I've had my fair share of pretty women, and it is still just like that; every now and then I get my " fair share".

@BadBoy89 a change to defend himself .
 

itouchyou

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Or he became really ugly and out of shape, but in his eyes, he has the "same looks"... its like Al bundy looking in the mirror and saying, "I still got it".....
Nobody changes that drastically from late 20s to early 30s unless they literally buzz their hair off and add 30lbs of fat
 

Dr_jitsu

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Recent break up with a decent but unstable woman.

I'm actively choosing to try stay away from women for a couple of months and ignoring them as much as I can.

Looking and feeling a lil beat up from the stress of it all. I usually take very good care of myself, gym, healthy routine, dress well e.t.c.

Just needs a bit of polishing when I pick myself back up off the floor (which I want to stay on for a little longer)... I look pretty young for my age, which now works to my benefit.

No problem talking to women, I'm social adapt. When going about my day I'll usually have women approach me and start up conversations (usually about the dog/dogs I'm with that day), I'll flirt with cashers, or start random conversations with strangers, I feel very at ease interacting with people (no so good with groups though).

Part of my business is to meet new clients (nearly always women ), go into their home to meet, talk to them (time usually gets away from me because it's an interesting interaction) , make them feel at ease, build trust , and a bit of a connection.

At the end of it they entrust my with their house keys and the care of their beloved dog to me.

So the concept of dating again doesn't bother me in the slightest nor does Interacting with new women at an intimate level. I'm kinda excited by the thought. .


I think I have a decent base level where I'm at.


Like I said I'm trying my best to stay away from women.

Although been tempted a couple times already , one of which was a really pretty blonde women that approached me in a car park a few weeks ago to ask me about a cage I had in my car, I ended up talking to her about 30 min about dogs , life e.t.c. whenever I see her now she excitedly tries to talk to me ,

I've tried to ignore her a couple of times (break up blues) , actually actively turned my back on her and pretended I didn't see her once lol , she just drove her car next to me, stopped and kinda forced the interaction, I actually fancy her but trying my absolute best to ignore/stay away from women, especially this one as she's my type.

Another was on the beach she came over to say "hi", I was tempted again (I fancied her) but stayed strong. Just a brief interaction, no asking her for her number or walking with her, I just ejected, full on rain man mode, "gotto go now, bye " lol.

Oh I also kinda flirted with another women a pretty latina in a carol service last night, I'll probably go to hell for this one.

She was a member of the church it was being held. Clearly in a relationship with one of the other church guys leading it, she was up in front, she locked eyes with me , oops her mistake, so I thought I'd play around with her for a bit, see if I could get her to bite. Just innocent stuff , but had her laughing at the dorky priest, and giving me eyes and ioi most the service.

Also flirted with a couple of mums at my niece and Nephews Christmas nativity play . Again just innocent stuff.


Really mentally ready trying not to give into temptation as I've promised myself to find inner peace first.

As my biggest fear about dating now is women my age are going to just be problematic, you know the last women left on the shelf type thing.

I'm getting older , which means less and less time to actually find a good woman to build something with. Pick the wrong one and I could be up **** creek without a paddle.



What's your experiences? Who out there is killing it?


* I get oneitis pretty quickly. So have a fear falling for crazy. Feels like that getting closer and closer to a death sentence.
The best dating of my life came in my late 30's early 40s. I had my act together and was actively involved in the seduction community. The main difference is that I wanted something long term so I developed my system that was based upon managing a 3 women rotation of high quality women, I eventually married the best 1 and 18 years later am still happily married.

It all starts with talking to women, which you are doing right now. However, I don't understand why you are dating women your age. Always go younger, apply the half plus 7 rule. Managing a 3 woman rotation will cure your oneites.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BadBoy89

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This sounds fake. A guy dating maxim models, chinese models, ireland models, having girls begging to have a threesome?
Went out with a Filipino Maxim cover girl
Went out with a Chinese girl 8.5/10
Went out with a Ireland girl 8.5/10

They weren't models on the Paris runway with contracts. They looked good.

And then in his 30s "idk what happened, women stopped being interested, I have zero self awareness to have even a tiny idea as to why"
They were less of them.

Sounds like some incel/feminist fantasy on reddit, where they hate older men for dating younger women.
Sounds like you are jealous and angry when I say the 30s and 40s aren't that good.
 

BadBoy89

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I have to admit it's kinda odd that you go from dating MODELS in a timespan of just 4 years to nada.

The discrepancy is too big. I've had my fair share of pretty women, and it is still just like that; every now and then I get my " fair share".

@BadBoy89 a change to defend himself .
Again they weren't MODELS, they just looked good.

It wasn't nada, but in my 30s they weren't uglier and shorter and fatter. Wasn't a 6'1 basketball star, I just hung with the right group in 20s where the girls where there. In 30s everyone paired off so they weren't there.

Man, its seems like Sosuave is sensitive the 30s and 40s aren't that good.

I should rephrase "The 30s and 40s are awesome for any man. You get the hottest girls wanting to sleep with you with no effort because you have a little more money. You won't believe how many women are throwing themselves when you are older, its unbelievable."

Whatever makes you guys sleep at night.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I was going with Maxim models, Chinese models, Ireland models, I was getting so many calls from hot calls you couldn't believe. I could call any girl Friday night and go out. I had 2 girls begging to come over to my place one time, they both slept over. You couldn't believe how good it was.
They weren't models on the Paris runway with contracts. They looked good.
Again they weren't MODELS, they just looked good.
Backpedaling won't take you forward.
 

Slowhandluke

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Backpedaling won't take you forward.
Backpedaling is a sign of weakness. Girls can sense it... like a wounded gazelle on the plains of Africa.

Nobody changes that drastically from late 20s to early 30s unless they literally buzz their hair off and add 30lbs of fat
I beg to disagree. Add a few wrinkles here.. a few grey hairs there.. more will be expected out of a man. There's a lot of things a young man can get away with because he still has "potential", but as signs of maturity appear, he is expected to.... "have more"... Have more wisdom to no longer do stupid shiet.. Have more resources.. Have more experiences.. have more confidence.. etc.. etc.. He's no longer a "boy", but a "man" - he should act like one.. Some guys don't get this... Just my opinion though.
 

viking22

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There is a definite tapering off.

There aren't many good options in your age range. Either women are well past their prime or they are incredibly high maintenance and picky. And while it is possible to date younger women it isn't easy unless you have a lot of money or are very good looking or are willing to compromise a bit on looks. For most guys the latter is the way to go. As I get older I find youth more appealing and even an average looking 25 year old has a freshness to her and soft supple skin and they are often willing to go for an older guy who treats them well as guys their own age often pump and dump them.

I think you also probably need to accept you need to invest in women i.e. pay for dates and take them to classy places. Obviously not to the extent you get taken for a ride by women with low interest. But you can't get away taking them to some dive bar the way you could when you were a broke ass student or young professional.
 

Divorced w 3

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In the 90’s when I was in my teens, where I went to school and grew up, few people cared about sports and lifting and few were gorgeous men. Those who got first dibs were scumbags, criminals, and rich boys. I’m not kidding.
You’re over 50 years old and memory serves your married to a childhood sweetheart. What would be your basis for giving any advice on the dating tendencies of younger women and middle age men?

I ask this because I am 40, and at 37, the only women I seriously fooled around with post separation were attractive, in their 20’s, save for the 36 year old that jumped on me 8 days removed from my marriage.

What forms the basis for what you are trying to say and what good does it honestly serve to try and dissuade men from doing what they want to try and do?
 

itouchyou

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Backpedaling is a sign of weakness. Girls can sense it... like a wounded gazelle on the plains of Africa.



I beg to disagree. Add a few wrinkles here.. a few grey hairs there.. more will be expected out of a man. There's a lot of things a young man can get away with because he still has "potential", but as signs of maturity appear, he is expected to.... "have more"... Have more wisdom to no longer do stupid shiet.. Have more resources.. Have more experiences.. have more confidence.. etc.. etc.. He's no longer a "boy", but a "man" - he should act like one.. Some guys don't get this... Just my opinion though.
This is basically called being a normal human being and making smart choices in life to strengthen one's position. If not doing stupid ****, having more money, and having more experiences due to living your life, are things that are challenges to a man as he gets older, then he's probably mildly retarded or has some kind of mental deficiency.
 
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