Dating is rigged against men (just the way it is)

[yellowstoneman2012]

If you are top 20% in looks, famous or have an amazing social circle (most don't) then this post doesn't apply to you.

This is not a rant or a negative post, just telling it like it is.

Where are the three main places where you will spend most of your time looking for women? (Bars/Clubs, Gym, and Online)

Yet, none of these seem to work in our favor (unless you really stand out looks wise). A man cannot get by on looks alone (like women) by being a 6 or 7.

The Bars/clubs are rigged against us since the male to female ratio is always greater and women generally just go out to have fun with each other, not meet men.

The gym is rigged against us (unless you take a class) since out on the gym floor the male to female ratio seems to be 5 to 1 and women have their headphones in.

Online dating and swipe apps are rigged against us since once again, the male to female ratio is a lot greater.

I don't live in the best area for dating (county with a lot of seniors), however many websites state big cities are not much better due to people living in their own bubble and the competition is fiercer.

I am also trying different venues (cooking classes, group hikes, volunteering, 5K races, ethnic festivals) and still find it difficult to get opportunities.

Could it just be that dating in general is a lot harder for men due to technology (swipe apps) and women being more in their own bubble as opposed to 20 years ago?

Thoughts?

 

[Solomon]

Welcome to 2004 OP, geez this is revolutionary I didn't know this!

 

[SmoothSmooth]

If you are top 20% in looks, famous or have an amazing social circle (most don't) then this post doesn't apply to you.

This is not a rant or a negative post, just telling it like it is.

Where are the three main places where you will spend most of your time looking for women? (Bars/Clubs, Gym, and Online)

Yet, none of these seem to work in our favor (unless you really stand out looks wise). A man cannot get by on looks alone (like women) by being a 6 or 7.

The Bars/clubs are rigged against us since the male to female ratio is always greater and women generally just go out to have fun with each other, not meet men.

The gym is rigged against us (unless you take a class) since out on the gym floor the male to female ratio seems to be 5 to 1 and women have their headphones in.

Online dating and swipe apps are rigged against us since once again, the male to female ratio is a lot greater.

I don't live in the best area for dating (county with a lot of seniors), however many websites state big cities are not much better due to people living in their own bubble and the competition is fiercer.

I am also trying different venues (cooking classes, group hikes, volunteering, 5K races, ethnic festivals) and still find it difficult to get opportunities.

Could it just be that dating in general is a lot harder for men due to technology (swipe apps) and women being more in their own bubble as opposed to 20 years ago?

Thoughts?

dating is harder but none of those are the reasons why

the reason why is much simpler. young women have shifted from long term mating to short term mating. They are assessing men on being suitable casual sex partners versus being suitable husbands. Of course, only a smaller percentage of men instantly turn women on versus the much larger percentage of men that would make reliable, safe husbands.

men supported sexual liberation and it came back to bite them in the ass

the solution is for men to raise their status; looks, fashion, money and game etc basically become as superficially appealing as possible and maximise the amount of women they approach (in real life and online). Given that most men do NOT do this, making consistent improvements will eventually put you above most men and give you a shot at having a good dating life.
looks and lifestyle (money/lifestyle) is definitely most important in todays world for dating. Clout also helps. But looks looks looks always matters most in casual sex, closely followed by having an interesting, high status lifestyle.

game today just knowing how to act and escalate on a date - carrying yourself with sex appeal to match your looks.

looks looks looks
Make money

View yourself as a project. Become superman.
Look at Tates transformation

 

[Robert28]

I’m 40 and I’m not gonna lie to anyone on here, I’ve struggled in the women department my whole life. I’ve been friendzoned by a single mom in her mid-30’s but turned around and dated several 9’s and 10’s only to have a streak of rejections that lasted forever. I get turned down by women in their 30’s and 40’s but women in their 20’s are always looking at me. Today this girl who’s probably 20-22 flat out said “I get off at 10 Thursday, come by and let’s talk when I get off”. Which I wasn’t expecting because we’ve just been sh!t talking each other the few times we’ve seen each other, I figured it was just being friendly on both sides and she even made a comment about “some old dude asked me out today” and I just said “that’s not good, you’re pulling nothing but oldies now” and she dropped her jaw and smiled like “you *******”. But we’ve just been friendly with each other, I wasn’t ever going to ask for her number or anything because I knew she was too young for me and I go in the place so often I wasn’t trying to make it weird. But her wanting to talk after hours definitely caught me off guard. Dating is hard and weird these days. I suck at it.

 

[jaymbrs]

I’m 40 and I’m not gonna lie to anyone on here, I’ve struggled in the women department my whole life. I’ve been friendzoned by a single mom in her mid-30’s but turned around and dated several 9’s and 10’s only to have a streak of rejections that lasted forever. I get turned down by women in their 30’s and 40’s but women in their 20’s are always looking at me. Today this girl who’s probably 20-22 flat out said “I get off at 10 Thursday, come by and let’s talk when I get off”. Which I wasn’t expecting because we’ve just been sh!t talking each other the few times we’ve seen each other, I figured it was just being friendly on both sides and she even made a comment about “some old dude asked me out today” and I just said “that’s not good, you’re pulling nothing but oldies now” and she dropped her jaw and smiled like “you *******”. But we’ve just been friendly with each other, I wasn’t ever going to ask for her number or anything because I knew she was too young for me and I go in the place so often I wasn’t trying to make it weird. But her wanting to talk after hours definitely caught me off guard. Dating is hard and weird these days. I suck at it.

I can relate a bit, being 36 and attracting women not in my age/target range. Maybe you’re coming off as someone to have fun with and not take seriously. That’s where I’m at. Youngins just see me as a good time and the ones my age steer clear of me. I’m not complaining but it’s been odd.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I’m just gonna put this in my signature here:

In other news, bananas are yellow and water is wet.

 

[SW15]

If you are top 20% in looks, famous or have an amazing social circle (most don't) then this post doesn't apply to you.

This is not a rant or a negative post, just telling it like it is.

Truth

Where are the three main places where you will spend most of your time looking for women? (Bars/Clubs, Gym, and Online)

none of these seem to work in our favor (unless you really stand out looks wise). A man cannot get by on looks alone (like women) by being a 6 or 7.

Is the gym really a top 3 place? I agree with the other 2 in the Top 3, but there are so many daygame venues.

Agree that none of the 3 are favorable options.

The Bars/clubs are rigged against us since the male to female ratio is always greater and women generally just go out to have fun with each other, not meet men.

Online dating and swipe apps are rigged against us since once again, the male to female ratio is a lot greater.

Truth

The gym is rigged against us (unless you take a class) since out on the gym floor the male to female ratio seems to be 5 to 1 and women have their headphones in.

Agree on the general gym floor.

Even fitness classes are not that great of an option. Fitness classes solve the ratio and earbud problem. Most classes are majority female. However, most women are not very sociable in the 5 mins before or after fitness classes. Many of these women have boyfriends or husbands. I've tended to go to fitness class venues with in areas where mostly unmarried people reside, so it is rare I approach a woman with a husband, but it is likely I've approached more women with boyfriends, though I don't get "IHAB'ed" at fitness classes. The interactions tend to fizzle due to women generally not being sociable at classes.

Could it just be that dating in general is a lot harder for men due to technology (swipe apps) and women being more in their own bubble as opposed to 20 years ago?

I think this is true.

I’m 40 and I’m not gonna lie to anyone on here, I’ve struggled in the women department my whole life. I’Dating is hard and weird these days. I suck at it.

You were also a college football player too and still had issues. College football player can help a man get top tier seducer status.

dating is harder

the reason why is much simpler. young women have shifted from long term mating to short term mating. They are assessing men on being suitable casual sex partners versus being suitable husbands. Of course, only a smaller percentage of men instantly turn women on versus the much larger percentage of men that would make reliable, safe husbands.

the solution is for men to raise their status; looks, fashion, money and game etc basically become as superficially appealing as possible and maximise the amount of women they approach (in real life and online). Given that most men do NOT do this, making consistent improvements will eventually put you above most men and give you a shot at having a good dating life.
looks and lifestyle (money/lifestyle) is definitely most important in todays world for dating. Clout also helps. But looks looks looks always matters most in casual sex, closely followed by having an interesting, high status lifestyle.

game today just knowing how to act and escalate on a date - carrying yourself with sex appeal to match your looks.

looks looks looks
Make money

All true.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I’m 40 and I’m not gonna lie to anyone on here, I’ve struggled in the women department my whole life. I’ve been friendzoned by a single mom in her mid-30’s but turned around and dated several 9’s and 10’s only to have a streak of rejections that lasted forever. I get turned down by women in their 30’s and 40’s but women in their 20’s are always looking at me. Today this girl who’s probably 20-22 flat out said “I get off at 10 Thursday, come by and let’s talk when I get off”. Which I wasn’t expecting because we’ve just been sh!t talking each other the few times we’ve seen each other, I figured it was just being friendly on both sides and she even made a comment about “some old dude asked me out today” and I just said “that’s not good, you’re pulling nothing but oldies now” and she dropped her jaw and smiled like “you *******”. But we’ve just been friendly with each other, I wasn’t ever going to ask for her number or anything because I knew she was too young for me and I go in the place so often I wasn’t trying to make it weird. But her wanting to talk after hours definitely caught me off guard. Dating is hard and weird these days. I suck at it.

Suck at her tits instead.

 

[devilkingx2]

I had a thought that the reason dating is so hard is that many women don't want/need a normal man. And of those that do it's only a small amount that want/need him for sex or anything else that's fun this limits our pool of available women to less than 10% of those that are single in the target age.

Women have trouble because the men they want are looking for fun but most women are looking for money and free therapy from a hot guy.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Dating may be rigged, but so is child-bearing. Women risk life and limb with the possibility of potential procreation, child birth and the inevitable and permanent life changing consequences. The sooner that a lot of guys realise this, they might understand why the dating game is the way it is. Just the way it is.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

It's not "rigged," it's just the way life is. Nobody is tipping the scales. Wherever women go, hordes of men will follow. Heck, clubs even try to balance this out by letting in more chicks than guys.

The way I see it, my job as a man is to be the best man I can be and keep improving daily, and to lead women. Can't control the rest. I do avoid large groups of thirsty men though.

 

[BadBoy89]

the solution is for men to raise their status; looks, fashion, money and game etc basically become as superficially appealing as possible and maximise the amount of women they approach (in real life and online). Given that most men do NOT do this, making consistent improvements will eventually put you above most men and give you a shot at having a good dating life.
looks and lifestyle (money/lifestyle) is definitely most important in todays world for dating. Clout also helps. But looks looks looks always matters most in casual sex, closely followed by having an interesting, high status lifestyle.

game today just knowing how to act and escalate on a date - carrying yourself with sex appeal to match your looks.

Good points.

The reason most why men don’t make consistent improvements is they don’t see the point. Especially if the man is (back to the height thing) under 6’0. It’s like “I’m killing myself so the non virgin girl may sleep with me after 3 months, when society and the laws encourage her to sleep with the generically blessed guy in 2 minutes?

Now if girls were short term dating but remained virgins until marriage, the man could see the point to improve. Anything else is not worth it

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Dating may be rigged, but so is child-bearing. Women risk life and limb with the possibility of potential procreation, child birth and the inevitable and permanent life changing consequences. The sooner that a lot of guys realise this, they might understand why the dating game is the way it is. Just the way it is.

Not in 1st world countries for the past 50 years. This is a Boomer answer lol.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It has always been this way because biology. We are a tournament species.

 

[BeExcellent]

I’m just gonna put this in my signature here:

In other news, bananas are yellow and water is wet.

You should. Cracks me right up.

 

[sangheilios]

It's not "rigged," it's just the way life is. Nobody is tipping the scales. Wherever women go, hordes of men will follow. Heck, clubs even try to balance this out by letting in more chicks than guys.

The way I see it, my job as a man is to be the best man I can be and keep improving daily, and to lead women. Can't control the rest. I do avoid large groups of thirsty men though.

Nightclubs definitely take advantage of this concept though and the OP is not wrong. Just about every big nightclub venue will have an instagram account as an advertising tool. They very often will take pictures of a variety of attractive women, those that are customers and those working there, to help lure in men. Men show up hoping they can meet a hottie but by being there they are paying the cover charge and for food and beverage. Another trend I've noticed a lot is many nightclub venues will hire attractive women as bartenders and servers but for their uniform they are in lingerie, etc. Again, this is just to attract men to the establishment to make money.

With all of this out of the way, the male to female ratio at any bar or club is definitely not 1:1 lol. I don't have exact numbers obviously, but from the start the numbers are not in a man's favor. Nightclubs really aren't a great place to meet women due to a variety of factors, this just happens to be one of them.

 

[The Duke]

Nightclubs definitely take advantage of this concept though and the OP is not wrong. Just about every big nightclub venue will have an instagram account as an advertising tool. They very often will take pictures of a variety of attractive women, those that are customers and those working there, to help lure in men. Men show up hoping they can meet a hottie but by being there they are paying the cover charge and for food and beverage. Another trend I've noticed a lot is many nightclub venues will hire attractive women as bartenders and servers but for their uniform they are in lingerie, etc. Again, this is just to attract men to the establishment to make money.

With all of this out of the way, the male to female ratio at any bar or club is definitely not 1:1 lol. I don't have exact numbers obviously, but from the start the numbers are not in a man's favor. Nightclubs really aren't a great place to meet women due to a variety of factors, this just happens to be one of them.

So why do men keep attending? Why do men keep creating profiles on online dating sites?

If I felt the game was rigged, I'd pick up my ball and go somewhere else.

 

[The Duke]

Dating may be rigged, but so is child-bearing. Women risk life and limb with the possibility of potential procreation, child birth and the inevitable and permanent life changing consequences. The sooner that a lot of guys realise this, they might understand why the dating game is the way it is. Just the way it is.

I don't exactly think a death rate of less than a tenth of a percent is risking life and limb. Thats a 99.9% chance a woman wont die.

 

[sangheilios]

So why do men keep attending? Why do men keep creating profiles on online dating sites?

If I felt the game was rigged, I'd pick up my ball and go somewhere else.

Because there is always that possibility that they could score, that's why. Why do you think people go to the casino despite the fact that it's just a losing game? Same idea, though the latter has an even lower chance of success lol.

If your goal is to meet women, you'd be better off hitting up women at the club than just sitting at home.

 

[SW15]

Nightclubs definitely take advantage of this concept though and the OP is not wrong. Just about every big nightclub venue will have an instagram account as an advertising tool. They very often will take pictures of a variety of attractive women, those that are customers and those working there, to help lure in men. Men show up hoping they can meet a hottie but by being there they are paying the cover charge and for food and beverage. Another trend I've noticed a lot is many nightclub venues will hire attractive women as bartenders and servers but for their uniform they are in lingerie, etc. Again, this is just to attract men to the establishment to make money.

True

With all of this out of the way, the male to female ratio at any bar or club is definitely not 1:1 lol. I don't have exact numbers obviously, but from the start the numbers are not in a man's favor. Nightclubs really aren't a great place to meet women due to a variety of factors, this just happens to be one of them.

In general, all types of nightlife venues suffer from ratio problems. This has been a problem for many decades, long before online dating websites or swipe apps were bad sausage fests. Originally, online dating websites were created in the 1990s as a reaction to the problems of nightlife venues that existed from the 1970s-1990s.

Wheat Waffles did a good video about how nightlife venues are a waste of time for men. He was more focused on nightclubs, but even regular bars are a waste of time too in a lot of cases. The main differentiator between nightclubs and standard bars is the presence of louder music and a dance floor.

If a man is looking for a girlfriend, he's better off approaching women in non-bar venues than in nightlife venues. Non-bar approaching (aka daygame) also has its own difficulties. So does a weak social circle method like participation in co-ed sports leagues, a tactic that many men use in order to try to get their penises wet.

Wheat Waffles did a good dating flowchart about your best options for your dating life/dating goals.

The dating flowchart confirmed that I had chosen the right path in prioritizing daygame.