Dating App SOS - Help needed

[Levelupsquad]

Hey guys, hope you're safe and doing amazing. I've been an avid follower on the forums back in the day, been away for many years & am back. I'm a very busy surgeon and essential worker with a love for Salsa Dancing, love my Giants, Knicks, Rangers, and have a playful, silly side. I've accomplished so many things in my life, but for some strange reason, while I get some matches, they're usually from women I don't feel attraction or a connection to. I'm tired of being overlooked by women on these apps.

Here's the Dropbox link to the profile/pics I've used and the profile screenshots are what I'm currently using:

Transfer - Dropbox

Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!

www.dropbox.com

(FYI I blocked out my personal info for obvious reasons in the pics for this post, not in my actual profile)

I've worked with dating coaches & photographers and been misled and scammed by many over the years, as they seemed to be much more interested in taking my money and leaving me with a subpar profile and not truly being honest, or are clueless as to what would work best for me. I have some theories and ideas, but first I want to hear your perspective as I attached the current photos and profile I'm using on bumble/hinge/tinder and curious to hear your opinions as I'm very much determined to turn this around despite the roadblocks, I've never given up, will continue fighting the good fight and determine to overcome this ongoing hurdle. Many thanks in advance for your help guys. There's some other pics, too many to grab from my Facebook, but I've included a link for you to peruse at your convenience. I'll add more pics later.

Let's keep the negativity and trolling out and keep this positive, as we all are in this together and keep the hate away and I don't want to have to report anybody. If I can be of help to anyone, please feel free to reach out to me as we're all worth it & wish all you guys success, in addition to getting and attracting what you want.

 

[Harry Wilmington IDS]

Hi there! I've had much success in the online dating realm (for both short-term hookups and longer-term relationships), so I may be able to help.

As a general note: you list your height as 5'7; in today's dating market, that's probably going to cause a lot of women to swipe left. No, it's not fair, but hey - we do the same thing to women of a certain waist size, it just is what it is. All that to say: if you're able to not list that, it would definitely help you out; if the apps require you to list it, then the rest of your profile definitely has to stand out.

With that said, here are a few tips:

1. Any pics with other people in them usually work against you; any pics with other women definitely work against you; any pics with other women biting on your ear, hugging, or touching you in a suggestive way ALWAYS work against you. So, don't use those.

2. The answers in your prompts, while truthful, are boring, and don't make you stick out from the hundreds of guys saying the same stuff. Example: "You should leave a comment if there's more to you than meets the eye, you want a man that keeps it real..." is something most men are probably doing some variant of. By the time a woman gets to you, she's seen some version of this many times. You want to use the prompts to set up fun answers in a way that will get women to either reach out to you or respond instantly when they read your profile. Example: one that worked really well for me is "You should leave a comment if: you know which is the better pizza, NY style or Chicago Style (and yes, there is only ONE right answer)." I had so many women hit me up just to see if they got it right, which lead to more fun conversations and eventually dates. Women want to get the idea that you're fun, not super-serious or boring.

3. Objectively, your hairline has receded way back; it may be time to consider rocking a baldie. Women like smooth heads, but can be distracted when a guy's hair has fallen back too much. Please don't take this as a negative commentary on your looks; I keep my hair cut off for this very reason, and the response has been hella positive from women.

4. Your "About Me" opening line should be something memorable and clever to make women want to read your whole profile. I'm surprised you haven't used the whole doctor thing to your advantage - I would have been said something like "Look no further ladies, I'm just what the doctor ordered!"

5. Also, no bar pics - not that they are bad, but you have better pics in the batch that work better for you.

Hope this helps!

 

[Steno]

Harry's tips are golden. The only thing I would add is that you have too much of a nice guy vibe, try not to smile on your pics, instead use a smirk so that it won't give off nice guy vibes. The best pic imo is the one with the shades and the leather jacket, go for more of that look it suits you well. like Harry said you need to shave your head ASAP because the hairline is screaming for it.

Your facial expression on IMG_0970.PNG is excellent, try to practice that for when you take new pics. That one and the leather jacket ones are the only good pics imo, the rest of them need to go. Once you get a new batch of photos you might need to get a burner phone to get back on the apps, your elo score is probably already f****ed up.

 

[TheTigerV1]

I come on this forum sometimes to ask for help regarding situations where I need the input of another group of males that "supposedly" are experienced with women.
The more I navigate this forum and the more I understand that the majority of people in here lie about their stories or they need more help than the majority of people outside of the forum will ever need.
Harry tips are great, but as always nobody is willing to look at the elephant in the room my dear OP.
You look HARMLESS. You look boring, with that smile that says "I am a nice guy and your future husband". Tell me, would you **** yourself if you were a woman? Would you feel RAW attraction towards yourself?
Your money as a surgeon is NOTHING when it comes to pure attraction.
OP, I want you to be a GOOD man, not a NICE man. Good men can be dangerous but they decide to keep the danger in check. I want women to understand that when they see your face in the first 5 second of your interactions with them. They need to perceive that you are a badass surgeon who will do unnameable things to them in the bedroom.
Right now, when I see your pictures I see Bobby the booksmart guy who went to school, treats women right and demands women to like him because he is such a nice man.
It doesn't matter if the description does not fit you. What matters is how you come across by just looking at your body language and your face.
And shave that damn head and grow a stubble. Or keep the hair and grow a medium sized beard.
God Bless you. |The truth will set you free.

 

[Murk]

Shave the head, grow a beard, put on more muscle, and lose a bit of the face fat.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You’re a fricking surgeon, post that shvt up. Go to expensive rooftop bars where girls go to look for men like you. I’m skeptical you now, ngl?

 

[Rainman4707]

According to rollos videos women should be queing down the block for this guy. He is a SURGEON. He has crossed the finishing line. People are saying this dude has to have the bad boy vibe. I will tell him to bear in mind that once women hit 28..they prefer security over the cancun foam party guy. Soo the question for OP....is there will be VERY attractive women queing down the block for him IF he is willing to COMIIT and provide them the SECURITY they require.They want a guy who is gonna stick around long term...who can provide for her.

 

[Stuffnu]

Lose your reliance on OLD’s.
A man with a solid occupation shouldn’t be wasting his time on low hanging fruit.

Clean up a bit as some of the posters have suggested, drive a nice car and dress well. Upscale social events, jazz clubs, bars that offer bottle service and not happy hour are good places to start

Plenty of resources here on game and approach.

Look classy - get classy.
Good luck!

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

According to rollos videos women should be queing down the block for this guy. He is a SURGEON. He has crossed the finishing line. People are saying this dude has to have the bad boy vibe. I will tell him to bear in mind that once women hit 28..they prefer security over the cancun foam party guy. Soo the question for OP....is there will be VERY attractive women queing down the block for him IF he is willing to COMIIT and provide them the SECURITY they require.They want a guy who is gonna stick around long term...who can provide for her.

yeah something is fishy lol