Dating and sociopathy

[Pandora]

One of the elements of sociopathy is the inability to feel an emotional bond with other people.

Dating in the adult world requires a man to be sociopathic. I feel in order to survive psychologically a guy has to be able to cut off ALL emotional attachment to any one of his many plates at any given time. You cant afford to catch feelings too early or else you run the risk of being seriously screwed.

For example I was out at dinner with some female coworkers/ students. They were attractive and generally really good people. One mentioned about how she likes to toy with a certain guy even though she never intended to put out at all. This is coming from a generally good girl! Now this guy better not have had any emotional attachment to this girl or else this will really screw with his head. But for him not to have any emotional connection to a girl that he knows on a personal level is kinda...crazy.

Another example is a girl i recently slept with. She claimed she was a virgin and she felt like it for sure. So im thinking hey after i hit it she will be emotionally invested in me. NOPE. I got emotionally invested and got burned. Its gotten to the point that we cant even let our guard down with girls that we sleep with. This is insanity.

Another example is a gorgeous girl that i thought was showing classic signs of really being interested. I mean getting physical, texting a lot, kino etc.. i almost got my hopes up. But sure enough she picked another dude im guessing becuz her interest level has dropped. Good thing i stopped my brain from getting too invested in her.


Between girls having so many choices, being super picky, and getting off on manipulating guys (attention *****s), we cant afford to get emotionally invested. The problem with this is that being able to break emotional bonds so quickly is not in men's nature. Its also not mentally healthy. Men didnt evolve like that. We all on some level get our hopes up when a beautiful girl is showing us serious interest. We all get emotionally attached to the idea of it going somewhere. But more often then not you have to NEXT becuz her interest level was not where it should be.

Having to cut off emotional ties with a potential romantic partner is not normal human behavior. But it is necessary if you dont want to get strung a long. It is also necessary is you are not at the top of her list. Cuz more often then not she is in another castle. This is not a healthy way to view the opposite sex.

 

[Pandora]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWGSEBdyhn4

Its like this scene in the movie Tao of Steve. His friend says
Friend: Bro, I’m so full-on amped about this chick, man.
Steve: You’re already dead in the water

His boy having any normal happy emotional response to going out on a date with a girl has already condemned him to failure. Total emotional coldness/ indifference is what is needed. This cant be healthy.

 

[Willard]

Iv'e been reading and listening to a lot of books on seduction and success recommended by David Deangelo. I've also been taking martial arts classes, working out very hard, I'm in great shape now. I've gotten very good at dating and I have been seeing several girls at a time for a while.

I met a really nice 25 yo girl at a running group I recently joined. She is adorable, super sweet, kind and intelligent. I'm slowly getting to know her, taking my time, doing and saying all the right things to build attraction.

I decided to stop seeing the others girls I've been seeing. I dropped one yesterday, I'm dropping two others this week.

I'm putting all my effort into the one because she is worth it. I don't care if I get hurt. I'm following all the rules of seduction and attraction with her. I'm not going to tell her she's the only one I'm seeing, and I'm going to be cool and mysterious with her.

I realize my method goes against what most people on this board say is the right way to do things. I just want to do things right this time, I have had to deceive all the women I have been seeing recently. I'm done with that now. I'm going to pursue one woman at a time, and be the best possibly man I can be starting with the current one.

I watched the Tao of Steve several times, great movie. In the end he ends up with a great catch. That's what I want, and that's what I'm going to get.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I don't really have emotional problems with dating at all. You just need to come to terms with what life really is. Understand that to a woman your value exists in what you bring to the table. Very few women will hang around if you are not doing anything at all for them.

At any rate one of the first things a man needs to do is control his emotions. You cannot react emotionally to anything in relationships, this is the first step in maintaining control of your life. You must view everything like an investment of time and resources.

Now a sociopath is described as a person that is lacking empathy, there is a line between that and being a person that simply chooses when to control his emotions. I believe it's easy to find a balance here if you just try.

"The problem with this is that being able to break emotional bonds so quickly is not in men's nature." This is nonsense, you keep telling yourself this and you will never control your own life.

And Willard, why are you dropping plates for a girl 20 years your minor? Don't fall in love with that man. That's just silly!

 

[Willard]

SgtSplacker, thanks for your comment, normally I'd say you were right. I'm not in love with her. The way I met her and the high value she has makes her my best option. She is from the mid west and she has values and hasn't been corrupted yet. I'm tired of spinning plates, sometimes I forget what I say to different ones and I end up repeating myself. There is one I'm having second thoughts on getting rid of, shes 2 years younger than me, seems like she has her act together. Maybe I'll try to keep both around for a while longer.

Is the 20 year age difference going to cause me problems? Or is her being innocent a plus?

 

[Warrior74]

SgtSplacker, thanks for your comment, normally I'd say you were right. I'm not in love with her. The way I met her and the high value she has makes her my best option. She is from the mid west and she has values and hasn't been corrupted yet. I'm tired of spinning plates, sometimes I forget what I say to different ones and I end up repeating myself. There is one I'm having second thoughts on getting rid of, shes 2 years younger than me, seems like she has her act together. Maybe I'll try to keep both around for a while longer.
/QUOTE]

Change nothing until you have proof it's worth it. You're changing for someone with no proof what so ever other than her resume. You haven't even employed her yet nor given her a 90 day grace period. Don't fire your other employees in the hopes that this one is a superstar employee. Test first.

 

[Willard]

Warrior74,
Ok thanks, I'll keep spinning a couple of plates for now, I've got 2 that seem like quality women. I'll give the young one a 90 day probation period. She is so adorable I guess I didn't think it through.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Is the 20 year age difference going to cause me problems? Or is her being innocent a plus?

I would consider a girl half my age a sexual outlet only. Even if she says she likes you there are so many factors going against you. And lets face it, if she's a nice enough person I doubt she would just straight up say you are too old for her (and you are).

Really sounds like she is just being nice to have a distinguished orbiter around, but hey what do I know. Keep gaming that man and good luck!

Just keep your plates around at least until she puts out man..

 

[Willard]

Thanks, normally I'd think you were right about her being too young. I dismissed her as too young right away, I met her when I went to a running group with one of my friends. I was talking to another girl who is a little older, but I didn't really like her. The young one actually pursued me, after talking to her for a while I realized she is intelligent, mature, and really nice. That's when I became interested in her.

She's not exactly hot, just really cute, maybe 20 pounds overweight, which is what I prefer. There were other good looking guys closer to her age that she ignored.

I guess you would have to see how she is around me to understand, she has a big crush on me, she pretty much ignores everyone else when I'm around.

I'm going to see what happens. The two other plates I have going are really cool. I'm just way more interested in the young one.

 

[Pandora]

Is the 20 year age difference going to cause me problems? Or is her being innocent a plus?

Just keep your plates around at least until she puts out man..

This is my point. You always have to hold your emotions in check until she puts out. But even after girls put out these days you still have to hold your emotions in check. If this doesnt work out with the young girl you are going to go through emotional withdrawal symptoms unless u are able to cut it off. If she doesnt reciprocate interest then you must be able to cut off from her emotionally in order to prevent oneitis. This is kinda insane.

 

[Willard]

Pandora, good point. I don't want onetis. I don't want to go through emotional withdrawal again. I just had that happen a month ago. It's weird how you have great chemistry with one right away, and others it takes time to grow feelings for them.

I'm going to be very careful because I'm going to have to keep seeing her if things don't work out. The main reason I'm even trying it with her is because she came on so strong, almost like she can't hold back. I think I was like that when I had crushes when I was young.

I read the Art of Seduction and a few other things by David Deangelo, so i'm going to play it as perfect as I possibly can. I have a solid game plan. Her roommate is out of town for two weeks, So I'll see her Thursday, and ask her out for the weekend.

 

[abe0]

To the original OP....one of the criteria for depression is difficulties with sleeping. That does not mean that if I have a difficult time falling asleep that I am depressed. Just cause we do not feel emotions in dating does not make us all sociopaths.....Abe

 

[sodbuster]

Being as cold hearted and calculating as a woman doesn't mean you are anything but evening the playing field

 

[Dirtythirty]

what women think they want is an oxen, someone strong, big ****, does all the work loves her unconditionally no matter the abuse the list goes on.

What were we talking about again, I just like making that comparison

Oh if your from SE Asian I mean a water bison, Mexico a Donkey, south of Mexico I don't know a llama, you get it

 

[speed dawg]

Its gotten to the point that we cant even let our guard down with girls that we sleep with. This is insanity.......we can't afford to get emotionally invested.

You're getting this all twisted homie. The intent is not have a 'guard' to let down. If you internalize game, you won't have to worry about letting this guard down. Having a guard up in generalize symbolizes low confidence. Men aren't emotional anyway, so why are you getting all emotional? Women have estrogren, let them be emotional. Men should be logical.

Women are where they are because we've allowed them to be. We're weak. They are still the submissive sex, no feminist movement will change that. Women WANT to submit, but only to a respectable man. Feminists want this too, but due to THEIR OWN GUARD, ie low confidence, they won't allow themselves to do it, so they don't find a mate and they weed themselves out of the population. And if they do, it's some low level male that wishes to serve her. Either way, the survival of the fittest goes on.

 

[Willard]

You're getting this all twisted homie. The intent is not have a 'guard' to let down. If you internalize game, you won't have to worry about letting this guard down. Having a guard up in generalize symbolizes low confidence. Men aren't emotional anyway, so why are you getting all emotional? Women have estrogren, let them be emotional. Men should be logical.

Women are where they are because we've allowed them to be. We're weak. They are still the submissive sex, no feminist movement will change that. Women WANT to submit, but only to a respectable man. Feminists want this too, but due to THEIR OWN GUARD, ie low confidence, they won't allow themselves to do it, so they don't find a mate and they weed themselves out of the population. And if they do, it's some low level male that wishes to serve her. Either way, the survival of the fittest goes on.

Great post. I never would have thought about that way, I've really been working on my game a lot lately, it's starting to pay off.

 

[Jitterbug]

A similar sentiment is expressed here: http://www.returnofkings.com/24270/why-america-causes-men-to-be-unnatural

 

[Pandora]

A similar sentiment is expressed here: http://www.returnofkings.com/24270/why-america-causes-men-to-be-unnatural

Jitterbug this article nails it. This is exactly what i was trying to express but the author of that article is much more eloquent. How American men act just to get average pus** is not healthy in the long run. We have to unlearn everything that makes us straight forward, honest humans. We have to play minds games just to compete with the mind games of women. Mind games are never healthy in the long run. You cant even emotionally bond with these chicks anymore for fear of losing frame lol.

 

[ive]

To be honest i think that many aspects in todays world requires people to become sociopathic, not just dating. You are more successful economically if you have sociopathic traits --because at your job this behavior is rewarded.

I still hope the good will prevail at a certain point ! After all it depends on the people.